Rathdown School, Glenageary, Co. Dublin

Imperfections

 

Look at her,

Perfect hair, yet all alone

Still sitting there

You wonder what goes through her mind

 

Is it loss?

Is it love?

Maybe it’s none of the above

 

As she sits alone

Her smile begins to fade

Another day, through a

Parade of people big and small

Who seem to have no insecurities at all

 

When she looks in the mirror,

She feels like what shouldn’t be,

Couldn’t be clearer

 

She smiles off the feelings inside

But what shouldn’t be

She just can’t hide

 

Yet again, she sits alone

Simply staring down at her phone

The comments

The shares

They think that no one cares

 

About the one girl who screams inside

Afraid of the fears she can no longer hide

 

What’s in My Mind

 

What are you thinking about?

What do you want?

What’s your future?

What do you need?

What do you want to be?

What are you doing?

What’s in your mind?

All theses questions,

Dancing,

Screaming,

Laughing,

Asking.

 

What’s in my mind?

 

Future,

College,

Other people’s opinion,

Fear,

Desire,

Beauty of humanity,

Environment,

First times,

Mistakes,

Death,

Body,

Love,

Loneliness,

Grades,

Pressure,

I can die for you but,

Can I live for you?

Can i live for myself?

Am I even allow to life for myself?

 

What’s in my mind?

 

Be prudent,

Don’t eat too much,

Don’t wear that,

You look like a slut,

Work hard,

You can’t do it

That’s not for you,

Don’t act like that,

Follow me,

I know what you need,

You are nothing,

I don’t trust you,

 

That’s what you put in my mind.

 

Silenced

 

They told me to speak up,

Never suffer in silence

But then I open my mouth,

And I’m met with violence.

I act as though it doesn’t hurt,

But nothing’s ever hurt more

 

Blood seeps through my clothes

As I lie on the floor.

 

I hope they don’t find me,

That I die alone.

I probably deserved it,

I should never have shown,

My pain and my suffering

To the world outside.

 

They said they’d meet me with kindness

But they chose to hide.

 

They left me for dead,

But I was already dead inside

Because the system failed me,

And not only me.

It’s failed everyone around me,

And that’s clear to see.

 

I don’t want to fight

Because there’s nothing to fight for.

 

Everyone will smile,

They’ll be there for a while

But when I ask for help,

They’ll walk out single file.

 

I choose not to fight,

In the hope that my absence

Will cause others

To take note of their actions.

 

But that’s where I’m wrong,

Nothing will change.

We’ll lose hundreds more,

That could’ve been saved.

 

I hope people realize what they’ve done,

Take a look at the world,

See what it’s become.

See the mess that we’ve made

The lives that we’ve lost.

 

And maybe one day,

The system will change.

 

Maybe one day, people like me

Will be met with kindness

And have their worries set free.

 

Be a Man

 

Open up love,

Talk to me,

I know that sorrow lies beneath

The mask that says that it’s all fine.

I want you to know that your worries are mine.

 

He plasters a smile and forces a laugh.

He believes vulnerability makes him half

The man his father wants him to be.

He won’t let a tear slip until she leaves.

 

He remembers the stinging, shameful pain.

As his father growled his name

Holding up a Barbie doll,

His treasure, suddenly, his pitfall.

 

He remembers the way they slagged off a boy

For crying in the school hallway.

Emotion, apparently, made him weak

A lacking boy, pathetic freak.

 

You’re too small, too weak, too thin

Don’t cry about it

Keep it all bottled in

A girl wants a big strong man to depend on

Become that or this life will be long, son

 

And girls think they don’t cause this too

Boys aren’t blind to they way you value

Speed and muscle, buff and brawn

Over sensitive words and tearful mourns

 

No wonder boys keep all the pain in

It’s this god damned, messed up world we live in

Be smart, be strong, be rude, be tough

Toxic masculinity is becoming too much.

 

Lucky One

 

They told us that these were the days the days to remember

But,

How could I forget,

When I’ve been stuck here since September.

This isn’t what I imagined,

When they said fourth year was great,

I saw myself drinking and staying out too late.

But now that I’m here,

On my own every day,

They say I’m the lucky one

Because I’ve a place to stay.

They say they understand

What it’s like for me,

But they know just as much about the bottom of the sea.

Nobody knows what goes on inside my head,

All they keep saying is

There’s brighter day ahead.

I used to have hope,

Have faith in the system,

When the Taoiseach stood up,

I used to listen.

Now I close my eyes and wish it away,

But I’ve come to realise,

The nightmare is here to stay.

 

Judgement

 

Everyone wants to look like you

Pretty girls should be happy

So why aren’t you

 

You’re not worthy of help

Your cries are just for attention

But who are you to seek more attention

 

Everyone looks at you

Not for the right reasons

They call you a slut

And not without reason

 

Don’t show your emotions

Cause then you’ll seem weak

But if you bottle them up

Then you’ll become weak

 

Don’t talk back

They’ll use it against you

Keep your mouth shut

And they’ll use it against you

 

Don’t voice your opinion

Everyone will laugh

You’re just a pretty face

For someone who wants ass

 

Untitled

 

The photos on my wall, stare down at me as I sleep,

Each one a distant memory,

Strong enough to make me weep.

 

The people in the pictures, now unrecognisable to me,

Each of them strangers,

How could I not see?

 

Where are they now?

God only knows,

When I will see them again,

It’s the life that I chose.

 

What is It?

 

Am I living? Am I dreaming? Do we really know what’s a true feeling?

Discovering yourself ain’t always that appealing, but holding it back is when the sky starts peeling.

Going to bed thoughts circle my head, what’s the difference in alive and dead.

You will never know, know till that day, when the holy gates come and take you away.

Do you ever get, get that feeling, questioning your world and your true meaning,

Feeling spiral thoughts, thoughts, thoughts turn to things,

So wake the hell up stop reminiscing.

You don’t find yourself your life you created,

Your Michelangelo carving your own David.

Don’t dwell on the past the past you can’t change it,

Focus on today and what you’re gonna make it.

People around us are somewhat and illusion,

If them accepting you is causing some confusion,

Cut them right off,

Not worth your time accepting and affecting,

Such a fine line.

 

Untitled

 

Why are we here, what are we doing,

Why am I even getting up in the morning?

Why am I reading and calculating and writing,

Trying to be more intelligent, right?

Why am I measured

With an A or a C,

When none of this really interests me?

Why don’t I have time

To be with my friends;

I’m reading and calculating and writing instead.

I live with my family, I should see them every day,

Yet I just see them in the morning,

Only enough time to say ‘hey.’

I’m getting up and going to school,

Where everyone else always seems smarter than you,

But you work and you struggle,

Just trying to get through.

So I tell my friends that I have things to do;

As much as I’d like to go out with you,

There are things to do.

I’ll be trying to get good grades, then get a good job,

Like I’m supposed to want to.

But when will it end?

I can’t see the finish.

I won’t be out with my friends,

I’ll be reading and calculating and writing instead.

 

Where I’m Meant to Go

 

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

You said not to start like this,

So that’s what i’ll do

I like ripped up photos and scribbled words,

I like boys that cry and girls that curse.

I like flowers, flattened thin as paper,

Like beauty can be saved forever.

I want roots that grow like steps to show,

Exactly where I’m meant to go.

Cause I don’t know.

No, I don’t know.

Please show me where I’m meant to go.

 

Dáil Éireann

 

Dáil Éireann, what a mess

‘Ah here, they’re trying their best’

What if their best isn’t good enough

Don’t really care if your job is tough

 

Don’t sign up if you can’t take it

Don’t make a rule if you’re gonna break it

Don’t pretend like you’ve all made it

We all know you just fake it

 

Don’t forget who put you there

It’s not your friends from medical care

Give them info you shouldn’t share

Get away with it – that’s fair

 

You don’t represent me

Not me nor my family

We don’t lie, we don’t cheat

You’re all asses, so take a seat.

 

Teenager

 

We live in a world where once you’re a teen, you long to blend in, its your dream.

From your appearance to the way you speak, where your biggest fear is being called a freak.

But once you reach a certain age you realise how bizarre that is to do,

You want to be thought of as in a group instead of just being you.

Bottling your different opinions and emotions up and feel like you want to shout,

But the truth is you can’t blend in when you were born to stand out.

 

I Come From

 

I come from the tea stains on the table and the watermarks on the shelf,

From the beer on the floor and wails from myself,

I come from the library where i’ve spent most of my days,

From the girl over there who holds my gaze,

I come from the lockers where i’ve stood and laughed,

From the bathrooms where i’ve sat and cried many more times

And from the voice getting louder every moment inside,

I come from long days wondering how to get the girl to like me,

Even though my mind says no, my mind says you’re not good enough,

Because no one is ever good enough for anyone,

That is the truth and that is what I see,

Although everyone, I think everyone, is better than me,

I ask myself what is it for if no one knows, except me, my voice and that girl I know.

 

Wolves

 

They were as free as the wind,

They weren’t scared of anything.

Kings of their territory,

They weren’t counting their victories.

 

But even if they weren’t knowing,

Their worst enemy was coming,

Guns, bown and a lot if other weapons,

That were using humans on them to fraction.

 

They wanted to fight,

But even the smartest of them couldn’t light.

They had already lost in their heart,

Now all they can do is hide, waiting for a new start.

 

Her

 

Though the hair was dyed blonde like her

The waist was slimmed down like her

The makeup was put on like her

I thought that I was like her but they only like her

And I’ve lost ‘her’

 

I Am

 

I am tired of regretting my past

So now, I live for my future

Nothing is changing even you wish to go back to the past

So if you don’t want to regret your past again

You need to live for your future

Like I am

Back