Six Feet Under
As the last kiss is given,
As the last breath is taken,
As the last tear has shed,
Your never-ending battle
Yet again, cancer has
Triumphed, as you plunge
Into the dark, empty
Sea of stars.
In those last few years, as
You sauntered across the
Warm sand, with the salty
Water splashing against
Your feet, cancer was
Mounting an attack as it
Began an assault on your
Not only did the cancer
Your fragile life, but the lives
Of mothers, fathers, sons,
Daughters – people.
As the wooden overcoat is
Lowered six feet under, six
Feet above, cancer observes,
Once again, cancer has won.
I lie here in this MRI machine,
Laying in limbo, my heart beat beginning to drop
But as I wait to know, what hurts my heart so,
All I can think of is you.
I stand between life or death, my heart beginning to stop
But all I can think of are
Sweet smiles, good nights, and Spotify playlists
Your infectious laugh, long talks about your favourite places
You love the beach, but hate the ocean
You debate with grace, full of strong emotion
I think at night, about you bright blue eyes
But also wonder ‘do you ever think of mine?’
I lie here in this MRI machine,
My final moments in limbo are now short and few
But how could my heart ever stop beating
When all it does is beat for you?
Its the thoughts that bite and scratch and claw,
That make the shadows writhe and crawl.
As eyes are shut and covers pulled
and wordless prayers are offered up
To uncaring gods and silent angels
Who leave me in my desperate bed.
As monsters who evade description
Lurks in corners of my head.
Until the sun will rise again,
My fate left for another day,
I’ll hide beneath the fragile cloth,
And wish the terrors far away.
‘A Sky on Fire’
I love it when it looks as though the sky is on fire.
It’s as if it’s a reflection of my mind.
The flames spread across the sky,
Weaving through clouds of all kinds.
It spreads and spreads, to a point that nobody can stop it.
That’s how it feels when my mind begins to spin.
My thoughts are explosive, like gasoline with a match.
My body tries to fight it, but it’s like adding tinder to a flame.
It burns and burns, until everything around has turned to ash.
Eventually the sky turns to midnight blue, as my mind goes to rest.
I hope and pray, that tomorrow, the fire in my head stays at bay.
‘A Leaf in Frozen Frost’
A leaf covered in frost,
Frozen to the ground, stuck in place.
The wind is no longer strong enough to move the thin auburn patch,
So instead people walk around and over, trudging through without thought,
Ripping and stretching until it’s skin is flakey and raw.
Eventually the ice thaws, and the leaf moves again,
It no longer glides through the wind,
But instead it pushes through, challenging the breeze,
But it moves nonetheless.
At the Beach
Standing at the bench
Because to sit would be to accept his untimely arrival
Looking up to see a face, I once loved,
Losing all piercing characteristics
I hand him his present,
As holding the inked paper feels like sticking my hand in the fire
No thanks are received,
More so a scoff and groan
I wish I could make you care for me
That my efforts are appreciated by your heart
You don’t care for me,
Simply the drugs wandering your brain
My love, passing away like smoke from your mouth
Brown hair, green eyes,
With their ability to disguise
Obstacles in the future, a fear from the past
That only seems it’s going to last
And when all that you can say,
Is ‘Take it from day to day’
Just believe me, I try
And I know someday the fears will fly
It’s easy they say, then why don’t they do it.
Hurry up they say, Oh God you blew it!
Slow down they say, we will get through it.
Don’t do it they say, well, why shouldn’t I do it.
It’s nothing they say, why would you mention it?
One word starts many sentences,
One sentence starts many questions,
One question starts many conversations,
One conversation triggers many thoughts,
One thought can start a revolution.
One revolution can change the world.
I am brave.
I am wild.
I am fearless.
I am beautiful.
I am wonderful.
I am honorable..
I am powerful
I am honest.
I am strong.
I am sincere.
I am who I am.
My Best Friend
You’ve known me since I was small,
And as you grew I wish I did too
But you kept me small as you grew.
The comparison was your drug
Your weapon of choice to silence my voice
The addiction that made so much noise
I’m ready to leave now see?
Are you actually trying to hurt me?
Berating and mocking what we have is so rigged
You make me feel small so you can feel big
You see all my cracks and you smash the glass
I now love myself enough
It will no longer pass
Pen and paper,
Fingers on keypad,
Words never seem to come.
Thoughts are wild in my head,
Images and memories
The words never seem to come.
People who write,
People who talk,
How when for me
The words never seem to come.
So much easier to read or to sing,
But to write…
They never come.
Out the Door
Out the door, no words to say anymore.
She slammed it shut, quite abrupt…
They screamed and seemed to squash her dreams,
No words to say anymore.
Out the door she ran, ran far away to the fields and
Swayed with the trees,
And swam with the streams,
And sung with the breeze.
No words to say anymore.
Strings were tied around my mind.
The all too familiar puppeteer pulling and tightening.
Controlling my thoughts of an illusion we call society.
I looked for help, ignoring the puppeteer, but being pulled back and being dunked in fear.
People caught sight of my puppeteer, and jumped into action to set me free.
Now I walk alone, no weight on my shoulders, and the ties cut free from my puppeteer.
All this time together and you say you’ll never love me
Take me to every party and still, you say you’ll never love me
You perform for others a perfect pair
Yet if they looked a little closer, they’d see fear in loving stares
That’s where I see the truth, whenever its just me and you
You say I’m ugly, broken a stupid fool
That I’m lucky that anyone likes me at school
I’ll end up worthless, all alone
I distract myself with my phone.
My friends all pity me,
See all my insecurities-
I know what I’ve said, I’ve said I’ll never love me
But we’re working together so that I can learn to love me,
Because the pain of my words and the fear of myself
Have torn my mind in two.
I am too young
And I am so done
Everyone I love
Is now gone above
I am sixteen years of age
Filled up with all this rage
Of wondering why they left so soon
My dad, my aunt now sit up in heaven
Me sitting down here starting to question
Why was it them
I feel so overwhelmed
Lost and alone
With nobody to hold
Scared of losing another so close to me
The car lights shine bright at the door
My worries aren’t there anymore
Until we both see
It wasn’t just me
That it was not you at the door
I feel my heart drop to the floor
As the guards tell us that you were no more
I cried and cried till my body gave way
Wanting all this pain away
I didn’t say goodbye
As I didn’t think you were to die
I wish it was different
So young and so ignorant
I want you here with me
I wish it was just us three
I want to hug you just one last time
And for it all to be in line
But now you’re gone
And i’m left withdrawn
Of memories of you and me
A poshy place filled with hate,
A hometown filled with replica estates,
“Be unique” they always say
But it’s the same crap on a different day.
An angry lady always screaming
Young lads are always thieving
Happiness is on your front door
But where do you look when you don’t know what you looking for
What I’d do to get away but it’s my home and in my heart, it’ll stay.
We are young
We are junior
We are determined
We are the future
We are told the planet is dying
We are told there’s not much time left
We are told that they are helping
While they continue their theft
We are fighting for our futures
We are trying to save our lives
We are put down as too young
We will never make the archives
Yet we keep trying
To prove ourselves to them
Even when they don’t believe
From them our problems stem
I Come From
I come from a small place down beside a hill
But I live in fear
Food is my enemy, not a gun or another person’s words
I have been skin and bone; I have seen a tube long like a snake,
Been crying through night, shaking like a leaf lost my head
But I keep on going for my family you see
I come from a hill a beautiful hill
I come from my head a place I need to escape
I come from my mother and father who live me so much
I come from myself… I come from you
This sickness in my head wasn’t made by me
It comes from the body image of the Internet
I come from the Internet, I poison her mind
But she fights me, I come from the a huge place
I come from a small place, beside a hill…
The Best Day of Our Lives
I often imagine how this day will feel like
Filled with hugs and laughter and handshakes
I find myself longing to go back to normality
But am scared of what that even means
Excited to hug my granny and sit next to my friends
Scared to speak in public and sit on the bus
I can’t remember what a concert feels like
Or sitting in a stadium at a football match
I can’t wait to take my mask off
As long as I don’t infect others
But what about different diseases?
What if I pass them on to my mother?
I can’t wait to leave my house again
But i’m also really afraid
Afraid i’ll never go back to normal
And of how the world has changed
There was once a child who was born in Kildare
Born to a family of intelligent parents and children
But he was born different born without a great logical mind
Born without the great mind equivalent of albert Einstein
Born into an autistic life
Bullied by those who saw nothing special in his self.
This all sounds sad you would question why he didn’t turn mad
At all the doubt and hate kicking his ass
He never gave up on his belief he could be something more
Being ordinary was his strength the strength of being anything
Guess you could say thats rather hopeful
Love doesn’t know what you want
If you are looking for a ransom, I can tell you love does not have money
But what love does have, is a very particular set of skills
Skills that love has acquired over a very long career
Skills that make love a nightmare for people like you
I Wish We Stayed Closer
When we moved away
We didn’t think we would miss it
But everyday I feel we pay
Especially since corona
I haven’t been able to visit my ouma
Over 13 thousand km across the ocean
It feels like I’ve taken a potion,
Everyday my heart aches to see you
Not being able to makes me so blue
Once all this is over
I will be the first to crossover
Dublin to Cape town to see you
Never move away from your family
All you will get is tragedy
I Want To
I want to be myself
I want to be more outgoing
I want to be more confident
I want to stop doubting myself
I want all of these things
But I am not confident nor do I believe in myself
I want Covid to end
The Way is Blocked we Cannot get Out
Everyday I compare myself to valiant hero in a fantasy book
Everyday I think I’m the main protagonist in some great valiant tale that I will never finish
Everyday I find myself staring at ceiling wondering what I will be what I will do
Everyday I cannot think of what I want to do or what I need
Everyday I fail to match the standards I must set myself
Everyday I compare myself to all these great characters
And heroes who I will never succeed or grow to be
Everyday I sit and think but no thought comes to me
Everyday I imagine slaying dragons and flying away
Everyday I walk further down a path of self-destruction and annihilation
That hurts everyone but still I crave and yearn for more
It is an addiction and sickness I will never be rid of
I come from the county and it’s really great
But since Covid can I can’t see my mates
I sit inside and watch the rain fall
With not one thing to do
Nothing at all
The football has stopped
I just want to play
In front of many people on a bright summers day
Lockdown is bad
I want my friends
So please lockdown come to an end.
I can’t make mistakes
When I mess up everything falls apart
I start to break
I hurt the people around me
I get selfish and dime
I don’t want to be like this
Our chats turn dark and grime
You started to ignore me
If I were you, I’d do the same
I don’t want to hurt you
I don’t want to play some stupid game
I realize only what I have done
After the consciousness, arrive
I’m sorry for being dumb
Im sorry for making you cry
What To Say
I don’t know what to say
I’m trying to brainstorm
I’ve been thinking all day
I’m feeling very torn
Poems are super hard
I don’t have a topic
Maybe a birthday card
Will this get a tick
Nothing to write so I feel guilty
Cause poems are usually sad but
Im trying to be happy
Cause the time is so bad
But the days are getting bright
One day closer to seeing my friends
I don’t wanna be back at school
Cause nothing to look forward to
So even though times are tough
And none of this poem rhymed
Thing are getting better
This is the last line
I walk to the spar, upon a hill, so far
I see the price through the window, but my mother sent me, so I must go.
I step inside, the scam, it’s left and right.
I just need milk, but I can’t pay at the till.
The prices far too high, I’ll be broke, but not tonight
I try to run away but staff grab me like prey
I shout for help, but no one is around.
They are taking me underground.
I don’t know what I’m doing
I don’t even have a clue
I’ve got all I could want
From the outside. From your view
I’m living it up
With my family and friends
I’ve got all I could want
But that’s where it ends
I don’t know what I’m doing
But one day I’ll show you
I’ll have all I could want
From the inside, from my view
I am not sure
You’re wonky, you’re bonky,
Your legs are so lanky
I’ll humble you and
There’s no need to thank me
We’re men and were hardy
And it’s just what we do.
Here’s another joke and
The butt of it’s you
Strong like a mountain, wild as a duck
My emotions held back by others, an emotional hook
I try to move forward but I always get stuck
Glimpses of hope but I’m out of luck
Make like a chicken and cluck
There’s a problem in our society
His name is spar
His prices through the roof
He’s gone way too far
I can go to costa
and get a coffee
For half the price
Of the overpriced monsta’
My name Bruce Wayne
I don’t like the pain
I don’t feel pain
I am very insane
I am too rich
For you snitch
You stinky man
Go get a tan
There is a problem in our society,
Its name is Spar,
His prices through the roof.
He’s gone way too far.