Maynooth Education Campus, Maynooth, Co. Kildare

Six Feet Under

 

As the last kiss is given,

As the last breath is taken,

As the last tear has shed,

Your never-ending battle

Has concluded.

Yet again, cancer has

Triumphed, as you plunge

Into the dark, empty

Sea of stars.

In those last few years, as

You sauntered across the

Warm sand, with the salty

Water splashing against

Your feet, cancer was

De-oxygenating you,

Mounting an attack as it

Slowly

Began an assault on your

Vessel.

Not only did the cancer

Destroy

Your fragile life, but the lives

Of mothers, fathers, sons,

Daughters – people.

As the wooden overcoat is

Lowered six feet under, six

Feet above, cancer observes,

Once again, cancer has won.

 

‘MRI Thoughts’

 

I lie here in this MRI machine,

Laying in limbo, my heart beat beginning to drop

But as I wait to know, what hurts my heart so,

All I can think of is you.

 

I stand between life or death, my heart beginning to stop

But all I can think of are

Sweet smiles, good nights, and Spotify playlists

Your infectious laugh, long talks about your favourite places

 

You love the beach, but hate the ocean

You debate with grace, full of strong emotion

I think at night, about you bright blue eyes

But also wonder ‘do you ever think of mine?’

 

I lie here in this MRI machine,

My final moments in limbo are now short and few

But how could my heart ever stop beating

When all it does is beat for you?

 

The Dark

 

Its the thoughts that bite and scratch and claw,

That make the shadows writhe and crawl.

As eyes are shut and covers pulled

and wordless prayers are offered up

To uncaring gods and silent angels

Who leave me in my desperate bed.

As monsters who evade description

Lurks in corners of my head.

 

Until the sun will rise again,

My fate left for another day,

I’ll hide beneath the fragile cloth,

And wish the terrors far away.

 

‘A Sky on Fire’

 

I love it when it looks as though the sky is on fire.

It’s as if it’s a reflection of my mind.

The flames spread across the sky,

Weaving through clouds of all kinds.

It spreads and spreads, to a point that nobody can stop it.

That’s how it feels when my mind begins to spin.

My thoughts are explosive, like gasoline with a match.

My body tries to fight it, but it’s like adding tinder to a flame.

It burns and burns, until everything around has turned to ash.

Eventually the sky turns to midnight blue, as my mind goes to rest.

I hope and pray, that tomorrow, the fire in my head stays at bay.

 

‘A Leaf in Frozen Frost’

 

A leaf covered in frost,

Frozen to the ground, stuck in place.

The wind is no longer strong enough to move the thin auburn patch,

So instead people walk around and over, trudging through without thought,

Ripping and stretching until it’s skin is flakey and raw.

Eventually the ice thaws, and the leaf moves again,

It no longer glides through the wind,

But instead it pushes through, challenging the breeze,

But it moves nonetheless.

 

At the Beach

 

Standing at the bench

Because to sit would be to accept his untimely arrival

 

Looking up to see a face, I once loved,

Losing all piercing characteristics

 

I hand him his present,

As holding the inked paper feels like sticking my hand in the fire

 

No thanks are received,

More so a scoff and groan

 

I wish I could make you care for me

That my efforts are appreciated by your heart

 

You don’t care for me,

Simply the drugs wandering your brain

 

My love, passing away like smoke from your mouth

 

Disguise

 

Brown hair, green eyes,

With their ability to disguise

Obstacles in the future, a fear from the past

That only seems it’s going to last

 

And when all that you can say,

Is ‘Take it from day to day’

Just believe me, I try

And I know someday the fears will fly

 

It’s…

 

It’s easy they say, then why don’t they do it.

Hurry up they say, Oh God you blew it!

Slow down they say, we will get through it.

Don’t do it they say, well, why shouldn’t I do it.

It’s nothing they say, why would you mention it?

One word starts many sentences,

One sentence starts many questions,

One question starts many conversations,

One conversation triggers many thoughts,

One thought can start a revolution.

One revolution can change the world.

 

I Am

 

I am brave.

I am wild.

I am fearless.

I am beautiful.

I am wonderful.

I am honorable..

I am powerful

I am honest.

I am strong.

I am sincere.

I am who I am.

 

My Best Friend

 

You’ve known me since I was small,

And as you grew I wish I did too

But you kept me small as you grew.

 

The comparison was your drug

Your weapon of choice to silence my voice

The addiction that made so much noise

 

I’m ready to leave now see?

Are you actually trying to hurt me?

Berating and mocking what we have is so rigged

You make me feel small so you can feel big

You see all my cracks and you smash the glass

I now love myself enough

It will no longer pass

 

Words

 

Pen and paper,

Fingers on keypad,

Words never seem to come.

 

Thoughts are wild in my head,

Images and memories

Yet

The words never seem to come.

 

People who write,

People who talk,

How when for me

The words never seem to come.

 

So much easier to read or to sing,

But to write…

 

They never come.

 

Out the Door

 

Out the door, no words to say anymore.

She slammed it shut, quite abrupt…

They screamed and seemed to squash her dreams,

No words to say anymore.

 

Out the door she ran, ran far away to the fields and

Swayed with the trees,

And swam with the streams,

And sung with the breeze.

 

No words to say anymore.

 

The Puppeteer

 

Strings were tied around my mind.

The all too familiar puppeteer pulling and tightening.

Controlling my thoughts of an illusion we call society.

I looked for help, ignoring the puppeteer, but being pulled back and being dunked in fear.

People caught sight of my puppeteer, and jumped into action to set me free.

Now I walk alone, no weight on my shoulders, and the ties cut free from my puppeteer.

 

Unrequited Love

 

All this time together and you say you’ll never love me

Take me to every party and still, you say you’ll never love me

 

You perform for others a perfect pair

Yet if they looked a little closer, they’d see fear in loving stares

 

Alone

That’s where I see the truth, whenever its just me and you

You say I’m ugly, broken a stupid fool

That I’m lucky that anyone likes me at school

I’ll end up worthless, all alone

I distract myself with my phone.

 

Louder

My friends all pity me,

See all my insecurities-

STOP!

 

I know what I’ve said, I’ve said I’ll never love me

But we’re working together so that I can learn to love me,

Because the pain of my words and the fear of myself

Have torn my mind in two.

 

Too Young

 

I am too young

And I am so done

Everyone I love

Is now gone above

I am sixteen years of age

Filled up with all this rage

Of wondering why they left so soon

 

My dad, my aunt now sit up in heaven

Me sitting down here starting to question

Why was it them

I feel so overwhelmed

Lost and alone

With nobody to hold

Scared of losing another so close to me

 

The car lights shine bright at the door

My worries aren’t there anymore

Until we both see

It wasn’t just me

That it was not you at the door

I feel my heart drop to the floor

As the guards tell us that you were no more

 

I cried and cried till my body gave way

Wanting all this pain away

I didn’t say goodbye

As I didn’t think you were to die

 

I wish it was different

So young and so ignorant

I want you here with me

I wish it was just us three

I want to hug you just one last time

And for it all to be in line

But now you’re gone

And i’m left withdrawn

Of memories of you and me

 

‘Home’

 

A poshy place filled with hate,

A hometown filled with replica estates,

“Be unique” they always say

But it’s the same crap on a different day.

An angry lady always screaming

Young lads are always thieving

Happiness is on your front door

But where do you look when you don’t know what you looking for

What I’d do to get away but it’s my home and in my heart, it’ll stay.

 

We Are

 

We are young

We are junior

We are determined

We are the future

 

We are told the planet is dying

We are told there’s not much time left

We are told that they are helping

While they continue their theft

 

We are fighting for our futures

We are trying to save our lives

We are put down as too young

We will never make the archives

 

Yet we keep trying

To prove ourselves to them

Even when they don’t believe

From them our problems stem

 

I Come From

 

I come from a small place down beside a hill

But I live in fear

Food is my enemy, not a gun or another person’s words

I have been skin and bone; I have seen a tube long like a snake,

Been crying through night, shaking like a leaf lost my head

But I keep on going for my family you see

I come from a hill a beautiful hill

I come from my head a place I need to escape

I come from my mother and father who live me so much

I come from myself… I come from you

This sickness in my head wasn’t made by me

It comes from the body image of the Internet

I come from the Internet, I poison her mind

But she fights me, I come from the a huge place

I come from a small place, beside a hill…

 

The Best Day of Our Lives

 

I often imagine how this day will feel like

Filled with hugs and laughter and handshakes

I find myself longing to go back to normality

But am scared of what that even means

 

Excited to hug my granny and sit next to my friends

Scared to speak in public and sit on the bus

I can’t remember what a concert feels like

Or sitting in a stadium at a football match

 

I can’t wait to take my mask off

As long as I don’t infect others

But what about different diseases?

What if I pass them on to my mother?

 

I can’t wait to leave my house again

But i’m also really afraid

Afraid i’ll never go back to normal

And of how the world has changed

 

Mundane

 

There was once a child who was born in Kildare

Born to a family of intelligent parents and children

But he was born different born without a great logical mind

Born without the great mind equivalent of albert Einstein

Born into an autistic life

Bullied by those who saw nothing special in his self.

This all sounds sad you would question why he didn’t turn mad

At all the doubt and hate kicking his ass

He never gave up on his belief he could be something more

Being ordinary was his strength the strength of being anything

Guess you could say thats rather hopeful

 

Love Poem

 

Love doesn’t know what you want

If you are looking for a ransom, I can tell you love does not have money

But what love does have, is a very particular set of skills

Skills that love has acquired over a very long career

Skills that make love a nightmare for people like you

 

I Wish We Stayed Closer

 

When we moved away

We didn’t think we would miss it

But everyday I feel we pay

Especially since corona

I haven’t been able to visit my ouma

Over 13 thousand km across the ocean

It feels like I’ve taken a potion,

Everyday my heart aches to see you

Not being able to makes me so blue

Once all this is over

I will be the first to crossover

Dublin to Cape town to see you

Never move away from your family

All you will get is tragedy

 

I Want To

 

I want to be myself

I want to be more outgoing

I want to be more confident

I want to stop doubting myself

I want all of these things

But I am not confident nor do I believe in myself

I want Covid to end

 

The Way is Blocked we Cannot get Out

 

Everyday I compare myself to valiant hero in a fantasy book

Everyday I think I’m the main protagonist in some great valiant tale that I will never finish

Everyday I find myself staring at ceiling wondering what I will be what I will do

Everyday I cannot think of what I want to do or what I need

Everyday I fail to match the standards I must set myself

Everyday I compare myself to all these great characters

And heroes who I will never succeed or grow to be

Everyday I sit and think but no thought comes to me

Everyday I imagine slaying dragons and flying away

Everyday I walk further down a path of self-destruction and annihilation

That hurts everyone but still I crave and yearn for more

It is an addiction and sickness I will never be rid of

 

Lockdown

 

I come from the county and it’s really great

But since Covid can I can’t see my mates

I sit inside and watch the rain fall

With not one thing to do

Nothing at all

The football has stopped

I just want to play

In front of many people on a bright summers day

Lockdown is bad

I want my friends

So please lockdown come to an end.

 

Sorry

 

I can’t make mistakes

When I mess up everything falls apart

I start to break

I hurt the people around me

 

I get selfish and dime

I don’t want to be like this

Our chats turn dark and grime

 

You started to ignore me

If I were you, I’d do the same

I don’t want to hurt you

I don’t want to play some stupid game

 

I realize only what I have done

After the consciousness, arrive

I’m sorry for being dumb

Im sorry for making you cry

 

What To Say

 

I don’t know what to say

I’m trying to brainstorm

I’ve been thinking all day

I’m feeling very torn

 

Poems are super hard

I don’t have a topic

Maybe a birthday card

Will this get a tick

 

Untitled

 

Nothing to write so I feel guilty

Cause poems are usually sad but

Im trying to be happy

Cause the time is so bad

 

But the days are getting bright

One day closer to seeing my friends

I don’t wanna be back at school

Cause nothing to look forward to

 

So even though times are tough

And none of this poem rhymed

Thing are getting better

This is the last line

 

I See

 

I walk to the spar, upon a hill, so far

I see the price through the window, but my mother sent me, so I must go.

I step inside, the scam, it’s left and right.

I just need milk, but I can’t pay at the till.

The prices far too high, I’ll be broke, but not tonight

I try to run away but staff grab me like prey

I shout for help, but no one is around.

They are taking me underground.

 

Untitled

 

I don’t know what I’m doing

I don’t even have a clue

I’ve got all I could want

From the outside. From your view

 

I’m living it up

With my family and friends

I’ve got all I could want

But that’s where it ends

 

I don’t know what I’m doing

But one day I’ll show you

I’ll have all I could want

From the inside, from my view

 

Wild Boar

 

Wild boar

Apple core

No more

Big roar

Wooden door

So soar

I am not sure

 

Wonky

 

You’re wonky, you’re bonky,

Your legs are so lanky

I’ll humble you and

There’s no need to thank me

We’re men and were hardy

And it’s just what we do.

Here’s another joke and

The butt of it’s you

 

Strong

 

Strong like a mountain, wild as a duck

My emotions held back by others, an emotional hook

I try to move forward but I always get stuck

Glimpses of hope but I’m out of luck

Make like a chicken and cluck

 

A Problem

 

There’s a problem in our society

His name is spar

His prices through the roof

He’s gone way too far

 

I can go to costa

and get a coffee

For half the price

Of the overpriced monsta’

 

My Name

 

My name Bruce Wayne

I don’t like the pain

I don’t feel pain

I am very insane

I am too rich

For you snitch

You stinky man

Go get a tan

 

Spar

 

There is a problem in our society,

Its name is Spar,

His prices through the roof.

He’s gone way too far.