Under Pressure
Under pressure, overloaded with work.
Wake up same routine, go to school get food.
Get compared and degraded, we are lucky.
Failure, bad grades that determine our future.
Try harder be happier, fit into the box.
Summer body, have time to workout.
Eat healthy, don’t stuff your mouth.
Why do you complain “when we were you’re age..”.
Longing for touch, longing to be pushed in a crowd to be free.
But we can’t change it and that’s how we feel.
I am a Teenager
At 16 years old,
I am a teenager.
Not happy yet not depressed,
I am a teenager.
Not a kid but no authority,
I am teenager.
No motivation equals lazy,
I am a teenager.
Constant judgement and expectations,
I am a teenager.
“Your teenage years will be the
BEST of your LIFE”.
But if this is the best,
I don’t want to live.
I am a Teenager.
Distract
An art form mastered by troubled minds
Background music a constant,
The colorful notes,
“Inspiring quotes”
The media’s nonsense.
Allowing the mind wander seems painful,
First instinct; Distract
When worlds news is dreaded,
People become numbers,
Lives upon lives stacked.
Distract.
I Chose?
A reluctant yes no
You don’t know who you are
Yet you know where you’re from
Not realising that is who you are
You are the reluctant yes
Because you are to afraid to say no
You want to be alone
Yet at the same time a clone
The battery you hold drains so quickly
But you can’t say I have to go
Because the fear of leaving is too close to home
Moving from one place to another
Never staying to long
Letting people you hold close go
I chose?
Cherish
5 years old, my days of freedom cut short
School begins
I sit there 8 hours a day
Children should be seen not heard
Cherish these years they say
8 years old, we are taught “boys will be boys”
An excuse for their behaviour
But as young girls we should know better
Cherish these years they say
12 years old I am taught
To cover up as
Boys can’t control themselves
Cherish these years they say
14 years old
When did nose rings and necklaces become
More important than scars on your wrists
Cherish these years they say
16 years old, Covid hits
All alone with the thoughts in my head
Anxiety was at an all time high
Cherish these years they say
18 years old, off to college
The stories become reality
Darkness becomes my enemy
Always clenching the keys in my pocket
As I walk alone
Cherish these years they say?
Thank You
When someone let’s it slip that you share half your blood with five others
That the father you know can do wrong had left them for your mom.
That they people you call family knew but didn’t dare to tell you
That now you know and you can’t tell your brother because you can’t make more foes.
That your father didn’t think you should know
But your mom does and so she tells you more.
When your don’t want to think about it but your can’t not because
Of masks and distance and others fate.
You want to go out and have fun with the family you chose
But you can’t because of the air in their lungs that could be infected.
So you sit in the silence trying not to think about the secrets and the lies
And you say think you its better to know
Because it’s better to know and to have that in your arsenal
Then fight the next war with only your fists.
It is better to have the cogs in your head spinning before hand then being caught unawares
And those cogs shut down because they don’t know what to do and can’t come up with the words.
To the person who told me
Thank you.
I Keep Waiting
I keep waiting for the feeling of life to click into place,
For something to fit me like a back brace,
I keep waiting for my main character moment,
To feel the laughter; to not feel so broken.
I don’t want to be normal, I want to be different,
But how can I be, when I feel so insignificant?
I keep waiting to be genuinely happy and pleased with where I am in life,
But my own words can cut me like a knife.
I want to be out there living my dream,
But i’m so afraid of judgement,
It could make tears gleam,
In the eyes of a girl who once could fly
And now all she seems to do is cry,
And pray and hope that life will change,
That she won’t be lonely for the rest of her days.
She won’t give up. She won’t give in,
She’ll keep trying and pushing till the world caves in,
Because she wants to look back at this awful time,
And say wow I made it through halftime.
Me
I always knew there was something different about me
Whether it was how I wanted to look at girls
Or the way I’ve wanted to kiss them since the young age of three
I’ve never really accepted what I am but I have to accept that it’s who I am, it’s me
My thoughts say ‘push it down you still like boys’
Maybe the thought of loving her is one I can dodge and avoid
I fill my head with lies, saying maybe you just want attention
But how is that so if it’s something nobody knows
But why hide this there is no shame in being who I was born to be
Heard
What has the world come to
All the hate, the negativity
What are we gonna do?
We just have to learn about acceptability, responsibility,
Love for humanity.
But I’m only sixteen and I’m “just a kid”,
I’m unskilled and I haven’t lived-
Long enough to know what’s right and wrong
Because “I’m too young”
And “I can’t change the world”.
But watch me make a difference,
I am magnificent.
Don’t be concerned, I will be heard
Why Not Me?
Why not me, why haven’t the boys chosen me
Am I too short, too tall
Too fat, too skinny
Do I not look like the girls they see on their porn sites
I don’t look like Kim, Kendall or Kylie
Why not me?
Do I need exercise, eating disorders and explicit pictures online
Do I need the blonde hair, blue eyes that they want
Do I need to cave and lose all the morals I stand for
Why not me?
These demands they put on me
Suffocating in this society I have to live in
These boys they will never understand
Their insults like knives never stop
Why not me?
Mistakes
I’ve made many mistakes already in my life,
And I know I’ll make more when I’m a mother and a wife.
I try to remember to learn from the mistakes,
That people will forget them and some people are snakes.
People will talk behind your back or through a phone,
But always remember they too have mistakes of their own.
A Father’s Lullaby
The Lamp of day fallen from our sights
And the moon gives off a glow.
A day of fun, playing in the sun
And it’s off to sleep I go
Tiny, bright stars, dance in the sky
As the crickets replace the birds.
Singing to everyone sound asleep,
With their melodies that can’t not be heard.
But the only melody putting me to sleep
Is my Dad singing the song
Of Caledonia by Dougie MacLean,
With his voice both soft and strong.
I sometimes miss those summer nights,
Of him singing while the nights get dark.
But he’ll always be my best friend.
My whole world, my whole heart.
Frustration and Desire
I live in a world
Where all I did it’s wrong.
I’m just trying to live
With all that is going on.
I just want to go out
But all I can do is shout.
Frustration lives in me.
Why I can’t be free?
I’m missing my fifteens
And I can’t be seen.
2020 almost finished me.
2021, what is going to be?
Fourth Year at Its Finest
The best year in school, they said
Be busy, don’t waste it
Submit projects, don’t copy and paste it
“This is your time”
Then why doesn’t it feel like mine
New friends, new classes
What was wrong with the old?
I liked it there
But I suppose I’ll just do what I’m told.
Teenage Reality
I lie awake thinking in a cold dark bed,
“Life is just doom and gloom”
As if it wasn’t hard enough before a pandemic,
“When is my next zoom?”
So now, there are two masks that I must wear everyday,
Maybe I like keeping everyone away,
A mask for COVID and a mask for no questions,
Maybe these are just the thoughts of a teen with depression
Being forced to open up and forced to talk
But they don’t understand what I’m going through,
Trying to fit in like a herd of sheep,
But still I am not “cool.”
Too Young to Understand
Sitting around,
Day after day
Listening to all they have to say
The bad comments, sly remarks and more
Yet when I correct them they call me a bore.
Why is it your boring, to correct someone who is wrong?
When they say these things, racist, homophobic and all,
But if I were to say shut your mouth,
They’d say shut it, you’re young, you don’t understand
But why is it because I’m young I mustn’t understand,
That these things being said are getting out of hand?
So I won’t shut it, I never will
For if nobody speaks up these things continue to spill.
Amazed
I’m always amazed
How you stand so very tall,
How you never give in.
You bend, but do not fall.
We are all so different,
And yet so much the same.
Everyone, in some way or another,
Will experience a kind of pain.
And even though it’s hard
And I may struggle through it all.
You may see me struggle…
But you will never see me fall.
The dark days are necessary,
Just as important as the rest,
For if we didn’t have the worst,
We couldn’t recognize the best.
The Best Times of Our Life
The best times of our life…
These are supposed to be the best times of our life
Yet here I am trapped in these four walls
Not a notion of the time
Or day
I dream of being at concerts, nights out, sleepovers
Will I ever get to experience it again?
We say we will have the time of our lives when
“This is all over”
But when will it be over.
Spending our days staring at a screen all day just scrolling through Instagram
That isn’t life
Watching Netflix day after day
That isn’t life
Having to wear a mask unable to smile at strangers
That isn’t life
Isolated from friends and family
That certainly isn’t life
Everyday I wonder
When will I get to actually live the best time of my life?
Panic Attack in an Extrovert
I throw my head back in laughter,
Listening to my friends talk.
Masks on faces but smiles are visible
We chatter giggle and squawk.
But then I blink, and I am all alone, in a different place.
My mind grows fuzzy, palms sweat, heart begins to race.
I can feel the tears coming down as I stare blankly at the wall.
Something’s wrong with me “pull yourself together!”
But I still fall, fall, fall.
Who We Are
They’ve told us what to say and wear
Don’t ever look back or shed a tear
Be brave and stay inside and hidden
Be as pretty as a kitten
Don’t show yourself and be afraid
You won’t believe what they will say
They’ve come to lurk
So stay away
You’ll never see the light of day
But what if we stand tall and brave
And fight the social sight per say
And show what we are made of now
And finally take a stand
We’ll show the world what we are
And they’ll try to push us down
But we will all one day go far
With our beautiful crowns
Nowhere Else to Go
She sits there on O’Connell street,
Wrapped in an old jacket.
She’s wondering if she can take it anymore,
Wondering if it’s worth it.
People pass by her every day,
Trying not to lock eyes.
Until that one person comes along
And sits by her side.
Because that one person understands.
That one person knows,
She is a sister, an aunt, a mother,
With nowhere else to go.
Life
Tell me, what is it?
Everyone seems to know
Well I simply don’t
I have to admit it
And people tell me about it
Say things about it
Say what they think
But do they truly know anything?
I doubt it
Cause they don’t say the same
Some say this some say that
But I think they just claim
Like they know where they’re at
People think they know everything
While I’m just sitting here thinking
“I don’t know anything”
And I feel like that’s wrong
I feel like I should
But figuring things out just takes me so long
I don’t know what is right
I don’t know what is wrong
Does life have a sense?
Do we ask the right questions?
Or is it all just some big coincidence?
I really don’t know
I don’t have the answers
“I know that I know nothing”
Now I gotta go
To be Mature
I’ve been raised to believe that drinking was the norm,
I’ve been taught what should not be worn,
Since young, I had to be mature
Taking the role of a parent to a child who was not my own
I never blamed them for wanting to be young,
But if I mentioned their responsibilities, I was told to hold my tongue
I should feel lucky they said
but every day all I felt was dread
Friends would tell me I was too serious
I agreed and tried to be less mysterious
“You overshare too much” they would say
And I would think about my mistakes all day
If you want to be treated like an adult then don’t act like a child
I took those words to heart and smiled
I now live with regret, my childhood lost
Because I believed that everything I was told, was the norm.
“Ireland isn’t Racist”
Ireland isn’t racist!
But Black children hear their peers scream the n-word singing the latest popular song
Ireland isn’t racist!
But teachers read slurs from books because its “of its time”
Ireland isn’t racist!
But People of colour are told they should just “go back to where they came from”
Ireland isn’t racist!
But 58% of organisations said they wouldn’t even consider Asylum seekers for the job.
Ireland isn’t racist!
But being Irish is seen as having white skin.
If you believe that there is no racism in Ireland you are part of the problem.
Opportunities and Moments Missed
A poem from the past
It feels like I’m sinking,
I can’t stop thinking,
Of all the opportunities and moments,
Missed.
They say these are meant to be the best years of your life,
But mom I’m struggling,
To keep up.
Labelled an over thinker,
I can’t argue with the truth,
But still my head feels heavy,
My arms and legs are weak.
So much stress, I forget to speak,
I’m so tired, of all these thoughts repeating,
It’s too defeating,
All the opportunities and moments missed
Little Sunshine
Life is like a little sunshine coming through your window,
Sometimes it so bright you can feel it on your skin burning,
But sometimes it just like a little Firefly and doesn’t stand out from the other light.
Everyday you can see a different sunshine,
A different way the sunshine brights
Everyday even though you’re not noticing it,
Even when it just seems to not shine it all,
It is there
You’re happy that the sunshine is there
Second Best
I’m tired,
Tired of never being chosen.
Everyone has their person,
Yet no one picks me,
Maybe I’m hers,
Maybe I’m his.
But not for certain,
Someday I will.
No One
Not being understood is as unbearable as being unloved,
The feeling of empty eyes boring into you
As you speak your heart ever so carelessly
Hoping someone will care,
But all you receive are the words of those who will never understand
How devastating it is to have no one there.
No one.
Untitled
Who am I to know what I want
That’s been for teachers and parents and adults all along
I know nothing about the world yet they want me to decide
My future, my life, my success, my pride
I think about my future and all I see is black
There’s nothing there for me except sadness and a panic attack
I feel as if I’m falling, deep into a hole
This falling had been damaging, damaging my soul
I think of all my friends, how I will lose them all
Of all my happy memories and my immediate downfall
I wonder what will happen, what I will become
Whether I will live to thrive
Or join the marching drum
Scroll, Scroll, Scroll
Tap, Tap, Tap
My phone sitting in my lap
Seeing my reflection on my screen
Wishing I looked like all the girls in the movie scenes
Why is the beauty standard sky high
Making all these young girls cry
When will we, the girls of our society, be loved for who we are on the inside?
Thinking
Thinking of something to write
Is like deciding what I’m going to do with my life
Ten short lines of rhyme
Like the lines I find so boring in school
That take up so much time
But now I miss them
And I don’t know what to write
Or what to do with my life
So I guess school is fine for now
And that’s all right
Change
Of all the people in the world
I may not be the tallest,
Of all the voices in the world
Mine might not be the loudest,
But anyone can touch the stars,
If we reach up high
And we can all change the world,
If we give it a try.
What’s Within
Kids skipping by
These streets of mine
Not all but a clue
What’s within you
I stare out my window
Wondering how to tip toe
Wrapped in this tale
But I fail
Without gain
I don’t suffer
But I stutter
Telling you the pain
Of what’s in my brain
A Wall
I am shy
I find it silly
I don’t lack confidence
And I can be witty
Its like a wall
Blocking a lot of people
People from my character
One day I hope
To make this wall crumble
over
Match of the Year
Packing my bag, I think
The possibilities
The outcome
Of the match of the day
The match of the year
Thinking of the team
The opposing team
The team that got you here
How you will work together to win
To win the match of the year
The sport we all missed
During the tough time
The rough time
Being locked down
Stuck at home
Scoring goals
Scoring points
The way the match can go
Nobody knows how
The match of the year will go
From the quarter final
The semi final
Winning all the way
The big final is here
The match of the year.
My Hope
What is my hope
What do I do with the bit I have left
Everything the new lockdown broke
I am started to feel a pain in my chest
When will I ever get out
Will I ever feel free again
I want to be allowed
When tell me when
Sick Of
Sick of looking in the mirror
And hearing my friends’ calorie intake today
Why do girls have such a fear?
Media and others structure us in too many ways
Sick of feeling like I should care
Sick of feeling like I shouldn’t care
Not the best days of our lives but it should get better soon
Untitled
This is about a girl who seemed to have a perfect life.
She had a great family and great friends and almost anything that she might like.
She never had to deal with bullying or family drama.
And growing up this girl was told how strong and fearless she was.
They would ask ‘is there anything that actually scares you’.
The problem with this question was her response.
It was always ‘no I’m not afraid of anything’.
But oh how wrong she was. Little do they know that fear is eating her alive.
Along with fear comes it’s friend sadness and I’m afraid to sadness is her friend too.
Sadness has a very strong presence. And she wishes more than anything that sadness with go away. But what she feels more than anything is guilt.
She feels guilty that she is supposed to be strong and brave and fearless
But she cannot be anymore, as sadness and fear are eating her alive.
I Fear
I fear what others think of me
I fear that lack of security
I fear the humiliation in school,
But its not the schools priority.
I fear the darkness after life,
Like a never-ending tunnel
A daughter, mother and wife,
Disappeared into eternity.
Life
We wander about meaninglessly searching for purpose,
Our parents would be so disappointed if they heard us.
We obsess over the lads who treat us like crap,
They’re terrible for us even though its hard to admit.
Too many goodbyes, anxiety on the rise, so called “friends” filling us with lies.
It’s just hard to find a balance of it all,
Life’s a mess and there’s no one there to call,
And appearance still remains top priority,
I’m too fat and too flat why can’t I look like the majority.
The Pressure
The night before is scary
Parents acting all cherry
The mother telling what to do
The father telling me to be strong from his point of view
I can’t deal with the mood
Have I ate enough food
Is my body all ready
I don’t feel all that steady
I imagine the game
People calling me by my surname
I somehow fall asleep with my eyes shut
I wake up to a pain in my gut
The nerves are stronger
How much longer
The whistle has blown
I’m back in my zone
With all my heart and sole
I’ve scored the winning goal
The final whistle just was blown
The other team have let out a groan
Its all over now
I took a bow
When the ref calls my name
You hurled with great passion, you played the game
The Joys of TY with Covid
I sit at my desk wishing I was away
Waiting for the first assignment to start my day.
Alone in my room all to myself
Wondering if this could be any good for my mental health.
My grades are slipping i have 20 assignments due
As I look out the window and try and admire the view.
You’re in TY they say enjoy it while it lasts,
Oh sorry I forgot I’m supposed to be having a blast.
With long days and only work to do
It’s hard when the only ones available to talk to are few.
Get outside they say while they pile on the work
To and Fro
I really like to see the best in some people
But there is nothing there to show
All is there is a face and a body
And a scowling look to and fro.
Peace
I find peace in the numbness
Everyday is the same
Yet I find beauty in the stillness
It has put my life into frame
Covid has thought me much
Life begins within
If you look for negatives, it puts your life in clutch
So lighten up girl
Life is lush
I Remember
I remember that summer’s day
When all my worries went away
The sky was blue, no longer grey
All I had to say, was “come what may”
We played outside till the end of the day
All I wished was for you to stay
All I can say is may the memories of that day
never fade away
Down the Street
You walk down the streets everybody knows your name
You question the people, how they really know my name?
You see them laughing, what they really laughing about?
It’s like every other day without a doubt.
You have hope in your self don’t give a crap know
Hate all them people don’t really care now
They say all they want nothing stopping me now
Just focus on yourself and stop being selfish now
It’s funny if you think anybody cares right now
I’m sick of this pandemic don’t hold me down now
I want to see my homies really miss them right now
Just let me live don’t stop me now
I Come From
I come from the countryside with grassy fields and mucky puddles.
I live in the city, with city lights where streets are bright.
I come from the old lane ways, the misty mornings and farmers calling.
I live in the bustling city where trains are chooing and horns are beeping.
I come from the comfy couch, the fire side and rainy evenings.
I live in the modern chic, the busy streets, the fashion queens.
Lockdown
We’re in Lockdown
Which is a bit of a let down
It feels like it has been going on forever
But so whatever
I have to go online
All the time
I’m quite tired of it now
But I want to see my friends but they will disallow
Online School can be quite cool
But Lockdown and Covid has been cruel
My heart aches what’s going on in this world
And now I’m feeling quite swirled
Covid is Here
Covid is here, when’s it going home
That’s what were all talking about on the phone
Life’s not fair, people dying
Teachers talk but they all are lying
We’re sitting down
Acting a clown
When will Covid go home
We all don’t wanna be alone
These times are sad
Which makes me mad
I just want Covid to go home
Ireland
Green fields and potato peels
Beautiful views and mammy’s stew
School skirts and leaving certs
Ireland
Disco lads and funny dads
Flat 7up and Liam McCarthys cup
Hill Sixteen and Roy Keane
Ireland
Sunday mass and the 3Arena pass
Works strain and young loves pain
Girls cliches and hurling sticks
Ireland
Being Irish is something I love
And not all Dubliners are rough
Being Irish, I am proud
Being Irish, I will say it out loud
Disco No.1
It was their first dance,
There was raving,
And lots of misbehaving,
And some found a cheeky romance!
It was an experience some might say,
Girls orange with fake tan,
Trying to convince the doorman,
But that’s a story for another day!
Most Men are Pricks
Most the men I’ve met in my life have been pricks
They’ve hurt me, or someone I love
Or have no control of their mind
People make excuses, “oh boys will be boys!”
But men need to learn that women are not toys.
Covid-19
The pandemic that stripped us of our dreams
Discos, holidays, meeting grandparents
I think it’s fair to say we have had enough
Our patience is running out
However, we will get through this
Together
We’re all in this together
Hurl and Sliotar
Hurl and sliotar in hand
As the familiar calm feeling spreads around the body
Is there a feeling like the feeling of racing through the land
As of the rest of the world was foggy
My Pet Dog
I have a pet dog who messes about
He has pointy ears and a scrawny snout
He has brilliant hearing just like a horse
And I must say he’s really fast!
He is really fast
And loves to play ball
But eating is his favourite thing of all!
Untitled
When the rain came
The drain was in pain
It flowed and poured
Until there was no more
And it all went to the shore