Loreto College, St. Stephen’s Green, Co. Dublin

Moving

 

There’s a certain stillness to an empty room

A blank, yet peaceful abyss, full of opportunity

Awaiting someone to walk inside and grant it purpose

 

There’s a certain stillness to time too

Delicate, yet stealthy as it creeps up, taking back what once it gave

 

The room, susceptible to time, has been given and stripped of many personalities

Each one, of its own intricate disposition

Each one, an unconscious reflection of its owner

 

Silence

 

Oh

How horrible it is,

To unleash a thought

And to be met with silence.

 

The awkward shifting,

The side glances,

And the rosey blush

That spreads across your cheeks.

 

How horrible it it,

For someone to clear their throat

And change the subject.

But while everyone moves on;

You sit and question why

you even bothered to come.

 

They’re talking about the weather,

Or maybe sports,

Or maybe work.

And you groan internally,

Because that’s all people ever talk about.

 

How horrible it is to unleash a thought –

An abstract wonder,

An unique observation,

And to be met with silence –

With a small cough,

With a small nod.

 

People talk too much,

But they say so little.

 

Oh,

How unfair it is

To be brave enough

To unleash your thoughts,

And to be met with a silence so dense

It suffocates your throat,

And makes your eyes water.

 

I apologise

If I have ever responded with

Silence.

Because even though words are strong

And powerful,

I think that silence

Hurts even more.

 

I Wake Up And…

 

Look in the mirror and see my skin,

I pull, tug, shape, mould, suck, relax.

I give up and pull on a baggy grey hoodie,

I can never win.

 

Scroll on social media and suddenly I’ve gained 10 pounds,

I feel so unworthy and alone.

Click on someone’s profile and see their face,

Now the spots have grown.

 

I wish I could wear whatever I wanted,

Be who I am and not want to change.

Trying to keep up with trends, weight, style

None of it makes sense and I don’t have the energy.

 

I need self confidence but from myself,

Not from the validation of likes and comments from people I don’t know

I yearn for the safety of self love and not giving a f*ck

But the grasps of the internet have me tightly held.

 

Tomorrow I’ll start again.

 

Pillow Thoughts

 

Drawing the blinds

Flicking the switch

Plugging in the phone

The cold side of the pillow on top of my hand

A sudden rush of adrenaline reaching as far as the bone

Anticipation for the future

Imagination for what my life could become

With that comes perturbation

Perhaps my dream are too high,

With my success being unable to reach the sky

And the thought of living a life indifferent could become my biggest lie

Would it be better to live on the sidelines

Or to take that jump,

Cross to the edge

Make that difference, or stay behind instead

My dreams are big

But is the fear of not succeeding holding me back from that one big gig

 

Shameful tears run down my face

As I come to the conclusion that my life’s journey has already been laid out in front of me

And that I am nothing but ordinary

 

Only Appearances

 

Ugly, pretty

Large, skinny.

They’re only appearances,

Changing images.

When one thing’s in, another’s out.

We fall into a sea of doubt.

Straight or curly?

Long or short?

Petit or curvy?

Sometimes we can’t control these,

Sometimes we don’t want these.

But embrace your uniqueness.

It is anything but a weakness.

Know that the things that matter

Come from within.

Know your worth,

Breathe and begin.

 

Untitled

 

Lockdown, Lockdown,

Going down

Going down

Everything

Mental, mentally

Physical, physically

Emotional, emotionally

 

Going down,

I can’t breathe, can’t think

Don’t want to live

 

Lockdown, Lockdown

I had friends, a life, a personality

Everything is going down

 

Lockdown, Lockdown

Going down,

Will we ever go up?

 

Lockdown, Lockdown

Feeling like I’m gonna drown

Lockdown, Lockdown three, four, how many more?

 

Lockdown, Lockdown,

Going down

 

The World

 

The world is a mess,

I am the product,

I paint the faces of the forgotten,

The world moved on too fast,

Time moves and no one matters.

 

We kill ourselves slowly,

Loving people who hate us,

Staying up too late,

Drinking too much coffee,

We kill ourselves by existing.

 

Whatever happens the world will never change,

Mountains will not flatten with your death,

Nor will they rise with your birth,

The wind won’t blow with your sigh,

Nor will it cease with you inhale.

 

We are but cells, doomed and blessed with existence,

But we take what we can get.

 

There is Something about Being Sixteen

 

There is something

So scary about

Being sixteen.

About exams and expectations.

About having outgrown childhood,

But being too small for adulthood.

When everything is ending

But you can’t touch any beginnings.

Everything is the end of the world

Or might as well be.

 

And yet,

 

There is something

So innocent about

Being sixteen.

About first loves and

Broken hearts.

About bubblegum pink

And breath mints.

 

There is something

So powerful

About being sixteen.

About feeling like you could

Hold the whole world

In your hands

And eat it raw.

About being able to

Touch the sky,

Tender and bashful.

Or burn it down.

 

Wake Up

 

When this is all over, I’m going to wake up

 

Wake up to the beauty of what our planet should be,

Free from all pollution, plastic and polar bear extinction

 

Wake up to a judgmental-free world,

Where anyone can be anyone without anyone’s unwanted opinions

 

Wake up to the vulnerable venturing out into the past death zone

Which was known as crowds and hearing the ground thump

As speakers try to overtake the noise of passionate fans

 

Wake up to a place that is being pushed further into a dream

 

Problem free world

 

Untitled

 

If you are confident, you’re just cocky

If you are smart, you’re a show off

If you don’t smile enough, you’re cold

If you are shy, you’re boring

If you are friendly, you’re a flirt

If you ask for something, you’re demanding

If you work hard, you’re a bad mother

If you are independent, you’re controlling

If you are adventurous, you’re naïve

It’s time to take a stand ladies, be proud of yourself

Claim back the words on the left

They were created for women as well

 

Boys and Girls

 

Boys can like pink

Girls can like blue

Your reaction

Is up to you

 

When someone’s happy

Let them be them

Let boys be women

Let girls be men

 

“That’s so gay”

Is what you say

But silently

You’ve pushed one

Of your friends away

 

Don’t push loved ones away

With things you do or say

Because words hurt

But they hurt most

 

From the mouths of

The people that told you,

They’d always love you.

 

School Books Piling up on the Floor

 

Laptop on, microphone off.

 

“Say something”

“Mute yourself”

“Camera on”

“Sit up straight”

“Hood down”

“Why are you late?”

 

Missing assignments piling up.

 

You work, work, work, keep your head down, sit up straight, we’re just kids for god sake!

 

They say this is the time to work not play,

But how can I work starring at a white screen when all I see is black

 

Dinners Uneaten

 

The shoes she wears were dinners uneaten

She starves to stay trending but still feeling beaten

Her body seen as petite but really she’s really skin and bone

Therefore she’s put on a throne so beautiful and pretty

The media and society breaking her down

But she feels more powerful with the acceptance

The acceptance is all she needs that’s all she says

Acceptance

Acceptance

Acceptance

Until she is left with nothing more than

Dinners uneaten and always feeling beaten

 

Educate Myself

 

I search for representation

Of my people throughout history,

Women loving women have lived important lives

Since Eve and Lilith.

But my search for community falls on my shoulders,

Because my history has been destroyed.

My limited skills with Google

Are better than what i learned

In one CSPE class two years ago.

Because no one wants to talk about

Such an uncomfortable topic,

The Lesbian Avengers, Underground Bars, butch and femme identities,

Feminism and intersectionality,

As a queer woman i must educate myself,

Because my history isn’t important enough

To be mentioned anywhere

That isn’t a Queer Specific space.

 

Until the Virus Came

 

Life was great until the virus came

People finding it hard to just stay sane

 

People breaking the rules out in the good weather

Yet they always say we’re in this together

 

Heartbreaking deaths, loved ones lost

Not wearing a mask and this is the cost

 

Staying at home, locked up, alone

With nothing to do except stare at a phone

 

Trying to work, with noise in the back

While the numbers increase, we’ve gone completely off track

 

We have to stay positive, that’s what they say

Hugs will be legal again one day

 

It soon will be gone, well that is our aim

Life was great until the virus came

 

When Love Comes Calling

 

Love comes calling when you least expect it,

It captures you in an embrace so tight,

You feel as though you will never

Escape.

It can feel like nothing and everything,

Writhing in equal pleasure and pain,

It can leave you as quickly as it

Came,

Stealing the breath from your lungs

With a final kiss.

An everlasting goodbye.

 

Judgment

 

I want to dance

Not contemporary, jazz or ballet

I want to dance like no one is watching

Until I’m too hot and I can’t breathe

I want to dance where no one knows my name

My story or where I come from

A place where no one has any judgements

Where I feel happy

I want to dance wearing what I want to wear

And not be told I’m too basic or trying to hard

Without the dirty looks, comments and remarks

I want to dance not because I can or I have talent

I want to dance for me

 

Corona Virus

 

Corona virus, oh where to begin,

What was told would be a two week thing,

Well here we are, a full year later,

With drastic changes to our behavior,

She has taken things, we once all loved,

And a society was born where everyone is judged,

We are teenagers who are practically locked up,

On a positive, at least I got a quarantine pup,

The things I miss, I don’t think will ever be the same,

Like hugs from my grandparents that I always used to claim,

It’s been a year since I have seen them,

And my joy is not the same,

I wait for the day I can see them,

And be reunited once again,

I would kill to play a match, alongside my dear team,

Which have been with me through this all, even in my dreams,

The day I step onto the pitch, and put my talent in display,

Will be the day I find myself again, and all will be okay.

 

I Like to Think I am Something without My Glasses

 

I like to think I am something

Without my glasses.

 

That I can get by with just

The shallow sight that I have.

 

But whenever I take them off —

Or… well… lose them —

And march around proudly

Determined to use

The shallow sight that I have,

 

I find myself — ouch! — bumping into people,

And mistaking one face for another

(which is pretty awkward),

My co-ordination is loose

And clumsy, and I must

Return to the conclusion

 

That I am nothing without my glasses.

 

Untitled

 

I come from smiles and laughter I like to say.

But some of these smiles that rest upon my face,

Lift my cheeks and squint my eyes are just there

To hide the endless emotion I feel on the inside.

Some of the laughs and giggles that fill my face aren’t real

But just a noise I choose to make.

To fill the empty space within the conversations

I’m too tired to continue to take.

As the fake crackle laugh comes out,

I wonder if they know it’s fake.

But I continue to smile and laugh

When I don’t find it funny or am feeling sad

Because I’d rather walk around with a smile on my face

To blend in within the crowd of the same

Than to walk with a frown and be asked why are you so down.

I question I ask myself each day.

 

Today

 

Today,

We are have access to things, more than ever before.

Today,

We are isolated and alone,

Not knowing when we’ll be released from this constant shade.

Today,

We have more challenges than anyone has ever had to deal with.

But Today,

We have more than we can ever appreciate or cherish.

 

One Day

 

The sun will shine

Folks will hug

And sip on wine

While children play

With no 2 meter line

Standing together

And all is fine

 

The Orange

 

The orange is orange

With yellow spots

Got two belly buttons

Bottom and top.

 

He lives in the fruit bowl

Beside the apple and pear

Because I love to meet him

I’ll always find him there

 

Outside he can be bitter

Inside he’s just juicy and sweet

But most of all

I can’t deny

He’s such a pleasure to eat

 

Snakes & Ladders

 

Fuzzy

Blurry

Drowsy

Sleepy

 

On the go

With american news channels

Crashing out the latest statistics

 

Eyes heavy,

Could slip —

 

Shhhhhhh

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