Featured Poet: Molly McNamara, Laurel Hill Coláiste, Co. Limerick

I Don’t Understand

I don’t understand myself.
I don’t understand it; it myself.
Myself? How? How could I?
I lie, hearing voices. I can’t sleep,
I do not understand why.
I don’t understand, tell me if you can,
Why I am floating, in my mind?
I am lost, looking, help!
What am I trying to find?
Hello! And I don’t know whose these are
But these thoughts aren’t my own.
I’m lost in what? What I am.
I am afraid we’re not alone.
I am crowded, muddled, help, I can’t see,
See a way out. We’re busy, take a seat, take many.
But there’s not much room? You’re here now, am I?
Take yourself out. Exit? Well I can’t find any.
There goes my breath, I’m in distress.
I don’t understand who I am.
I’m not connected, nothing could ever connect,
And I don’t think anything can.
My feelings produce, but not for me.
They can’t be mine, I’m not theirs.
I am done, so I scream, alone.
But for me they will never care.
She looks in the mirror, so I look her way.
She continues and stares for a while.
And her mouth begins to open, I see it
So now we both feature a smile.
I understand, perhaps not ‘myself’,
But what I’ve been trying to say.
Now they mightn’t leave, but neither will I,
And that will be ok.

Molly McNamara