Artwork by Jacky Sheridan : https://jamartprints.com/artist/jacky-sheridan/
Most people have regrets,
And I’m no different.
Everyone make decisions
They wish to take back
Yet I feel as if I regret my very existence.
I wish I could undo everything I’ve done
Every” I love you” spoken
And every “it’s not your fault”
Drags me into the depths of self deprecation
Here I think there’s no one foolish enough
To see something worth loving in me.
I dread the phrase “I love you”
It feels like chains binding me
Shackles around my neck
And a muzzle on my mouth
I wish that I could trade
Every “I love you” spoken to me
With “I hate you” instead
Perhaps it would make it easier to leave.
My best is not enough
It feels as if the impossible
Was the first thing I’ve been asked to do,
And the last thing I’ll ever do.
Drowning is not as peaceful as it seems
Lungs burning and desperate attempts to breath.
I prefer falling
I think It’d be a fitting end for me
The same way I’ve always fallen
With clipped wings and broken dreams
I’d fall from grace one last time.
We all come from a place,
Where being yourself is a disgrace,
And the moments that you thrive,
Others are fighting to stay alive,
At the age of thirteen,
You have to fight to be seen,
To be liked by your peers,
Who diminish you to tears,
To always be the best,
Being put to the test,
Whether people like you or not,
None of your dreams are a longshot,
You are not a freak
Everyone is unique.
There was a book
Sitting on a shelf,
It sat there lonely
It talked about ships
Sailing far far away,
It talked about natives
Being killed someday,
When the owner last checked
The book was silent,
It didn’t say anything
That was violent,
The owner decided
The book was expired
And went out and lit his fire,
As the books situation was dire
That was why it used its last chance to inspire.
“The history I speak put you in doubt,
Of all the things you know about,
That is why you have decided to shut my mouth”.
I wanna sleep in the wind
Dance with the cold hush moonlight
With a gesture pick flowers from their nested place
Kick up dirt in chase sit where it dawned upon us
Dusk is just a word where time was just
An expression of faith in the mechanics of the world
Sing hymns for her breezes begin to whisper
A face held in misty light a gaze caught
From a crosswalk searching soul mates in the stars
Mingling with tension streamlined sleep veteran
Finding footholds in lost places
And stories in scarred faces.
This is affecting our world
Everyone from country to country has heard
That if we stop the things we made
We could be living in a better place
Years have passed and we know the truth
Suddenly the earth became all blue
From animals, to plants and living things
The bees can’t fly without their wings
Helping each other can make it stop
We can make it there to the top
To all the people that are concerned
We hope to create a better world
To those who hide themselves
Beneath a wave of loud individuals,
Who cut their own voices
And try to blend in.
To those who hide what they truly feel
And what they truly desire,
Who mask their hobbies and match those who are liked.
To those who disconnect themselves from what they love,
Who then believes this is how it should be.
To those who are trapped and lost in their own minds,
Who feel what they like will make them be hated.
To those who are out there who feel this way,
You may feel alone and be afraid.
But you are not alone there are so many others
Who feel they will also be turned away.
School Poetry may know me
As the literacy accurate writer
Whose pages never offend
And leave the academics brighter
But lets be realistic
Even teachers find you boring
Expect for the ones whose imagination
Got sucked from them, they stay here adoring.
These copybooks are filled with straight lines,
Encouraging you to load them up
With historical gestures and pretend your fine
But i wanna write about how i get sleep Paralysis
How i kick my feet on the wall
Till the clock turns to five
I wanna speak on my bad habits for once
How i leave everything till last minute
Or then i don’t bother for months.
How i walk through halls like I’m not even there
How i exit this reality when teachers talk
About things they don’t even care.
Real Reality is when you wake up from society
And see why these “bad habits” of mine are there.
Because when your writing poems
How i usually do, i don’t even want to share.
Your innocence frustrates me , that’s why I tell you
One day you won’t be here with me and I right there with you
I find myself in envy of the simplicity of your life
I long to run around the fields, sleep soundly every night
I wonder if you understand everything that I say
I wish we didn’t have part so soon , I wish that you could stay
A loyalty beyond compare but what am I to you
When I call your always there , if only you knew
When you leave I’ll still be here it’s that day that I dread
If you’d just wait longer we might leave together instead.
Who am I?
Who am I?
How am i supposed to know?
Sexuality is spectrum but
How am i supposed to know where I go?
How am I supposed to learn?
There is no book, no guide just what i feel fits.
I cant explore without being judged
How am I supposed to know who is safe.
I don’t know yet but hopefully some day.
How am I supposed to know?
I am not supposed to know.
I won’t have it figured out just yet.
I have time.
My world is full of awkward HI’s and bye’s,
Don’t make eye contact and sorry I forgot my key
It’s full of ‘how will you get homes
‘I’ll stay over’ ‘I’ll get you a taxi’
My world used to be warm family walks
On sunny days in the yellow rapeseed fields
Down to my nans for barbecues
My biggest dream became my worst nightmare
After one short holiday six days
And nothing could be the same, one accidental
Drunk night and the truth was clear
My biggest role models biggest failure revealed
Tears streamed, hands swung, drinks emptied
‘Goodnight doll we’ll sort this out in the morning’
Life starts a new
It likes playing a tune
It plays along
To this stupid song
To figure out
What colour and what hue
Days end up gone
It plays a game of ping pong
It goes back and forth
And bickers some more
Trying to find out what to do
Children play outside
They like starting fights
One’s in the middle
Looks like are little
And adults are just
Looking at them, why?
Life is just passing by
Sometimes we think it will die
Like in 2012
When it started to swell
And the news said we were going bye
The sun beamed down on me
Beneath the tropical sea,
My least favourite colour is brown
I suppose I grew up in Newtown,
Haven’t got any data
Suppose that don’t really matter,
I mostly herded sheep
I guess they can all go away and sleep,
Never minded the olden day’s
Where all I really knew was plays,
Never really wanted to die
I guess life is just a big lie,
I’ve never signed up for a pension
It’s not as bad as red dead redemption.
Fruit of the dead
Arisen from the blood of Adonis
A hard layer of epicarp
A soft layer of mesocarp
The seeds trick to stay
But never really wanted to go away
Fruit of the dead
Arisen from the blood of Adonis
She always adored sunrises more than sunsets,
To her it symbolises a new beginning,
Something she’d view as beautiful
And always unique in their own ways,
The same how she’d look at the beginning
Of her new favourite movie or book,
For longer than she’d ever admit
That’s how I felt about you,
Sometimes sunsets are better,
The ending of something,
The moon shines brighter than anything
Around her nothing could be more empowering,
You are like a needed sunset to a bad day,
Now the moon shines on her own
And the sun isn’t there to take it from her,
She’s confident on her own,
Strong and beautiful by herself,
And she needs you not.
The burst of adrenaline rushed through my veins,
A longing for victory has been seized again.
The crunch of my masculinity has been held back for another time,
As my ego hasn’t been shattered at the thought of a loss.
The heartbreak of a loss will make me into a lesser man,
With a flurry of disappointment vulnerability soon to follow.
The shallow grave of an ego being buried,
Built upon an understanding of defeat inducing anger.
The longing drought of dopamine brought upon by competition,
With failure after failure ensuring more and more restlessness.
The lack of happiness brought solely from sport fuelled rivalries,
Shall leave me with dismay until the next season.
World of your own
Friends are everything to me,
So are family and life.
But sometimes you just have to leave,
Leave it all behind,
And go to a world of your own.
In that world you can be what you want
Be it a hero, villain or lover.
Go to that world.
Forget about your troubles and breathe.
Take a breath and forget.
Fall in love with this amazing world of your own.
Don’t stay away too long and forget about us,
Go to that world of your own.
From the minute you step on that battlefield
It’s a fight against the opposition,
You can’t be afraid and you need
To win every individual fight,
You need to be ready every single night
From the sight of your life
I am sick of all the people
Keeping me up all night
When I sit in a classroom
I am yawning all the time
Too many distractions
Too many friends
Video games are my only true mates
Life is hard
But I have a way
Get some sleep
You will be okay.
Know Thy Self
Will I ever fully know my self
All ill ever know is
That I’m made up of thoughts
And these thoughts
Don’t even make sense
Maybe I’m too young
Maybe I’m too stupid
Maybe I was simply
Never supposed to know
I’m always changing
Bending myself to make me happy
But the darkness of never knowing
Truly will always pull me down
No matter what happens
It will always come full circle
The drip finally stops
For this assignment,
Unbinding attention is needed.
Cannot afford to lose focus,
Keen to get this finished quick.
This task is difficult,
However I’ll get it done.
I don’t like writing poems,
So now you should read down the sides.
I come from two very different families
I have young parents but there my best friends
There the two people I like to be around the most
I can always get along with them
People always ask me what it’s like
With parents who are no longer together
My response Is its normal to me now
My parents get along and both
Take care of me and always listen to me
I love watching father ted
Especially before I go to bed
The show always gives me a smile
When I haven’t watched it in a while
Father ted is a lovely chap
Except when he’s wearing a lamp shade as a hat
Or keeping charity money(it was resting in his account)
To this day we still don’t know the amount
Father Dougal is not very smart
Though he does have a big heart
His belief in god is not very strong
Everything he does seems to go wrong
Father jack has his way with words
Feck, drink, arse, girls
Usually this priest is drinking or sleeping
And if he’s disturbed he’ll give you a beating
And last but not least is Ms. Doyle
She’s always cleaning and letting the kettle boil
She loves making father ted his tea
And if he doesn’t take it she starts to plea
Father ted is the funniest show
And I think all the world should know
About all the craic on craggy island
A small island on the west coast of Ireland
Pictures and Memories
It hurts me a lot but I act like I’m fine
Because life is short and I want to make the most of mine
You left me as if it was the easiest thing to do
And made me feel like I meant nothing to you
Crying and complaining will get me nowhere
But I can’t lie to myself and say I don’t wish you were there
Pictures and memories is all I have left of you
I always thought we would make it through
Part of me knows there will be nobody else
But that’s ok because I finally love myself
We will let the boys lift that ,
Back to the kitchen, you’re meant for child bearing ,
What would you know your a woman.
Cat calls as I walked , being emotional,
You’re a baby , don’t be a baby and grow a pair .
The reality of being a woman is hard.
Our problems belittled.
Wear a long dress a bore wear
a short dress a whore. Scared to step out the door
Look what she was wearing she was asking for it .
No I said, no
The Bentley, 29, began my life,
Mam, Dad, sister was all in my sights,
Memory fleeting of him coming home from work,
When falling down stairs by Mam was all that could hurt
Not that I feel even the slightest pain,
It just became my world, something I didn’t need to face,
But something I did see, someone I did know,
Not too long, probably for the best though.
Seven my sights closed, Dad left, the reasons were those,
Mam I’ll always protect after what I was exposed
To seeing, and since I was so young,
I was let off of remembering the worst of what was done.
This is where the grass is green
This is where two white posts stand tall
This is where footballers and hurlers are seen
And where the community calls
This is where children play
This is where memories are made
This is where the work is put in
And where you find this will to win
This is where scores a pucked
This is where goals are kicked
And where the GAA connects everyone
To bring pride, joy and fun
Having a boyfriend is good and bad.
The good things are how loving they can be
And all the nice things they do for you
But the bad thing is the jealousy sometimes
Between you both and how they treat you
Like an option at times which makes you feel bad.
So moral of that is boyfriends can be good and bad.
My reasons to stay were fleeting
My energy was ever depleting
A crap day, start the next off with my wrist bleeding
To take my mind off I got back into reading
I tried to speak up, my words kept retreating
But then I saw a girl and it was a lucky meeting
My life has finally found its meaning.
The Clash of the ash,
The hit of the ball,
My heart pumps as my stomach hits the wall,
As I keep my pace , I feel like I am in space
I feel like I am in my mind race ,
The match of match’s ,
My brain it trashes the place I should feel peace.
The pressure it got me , my brain has got me down.
I feel like i should stop but my hearts telling me not.
We sit around laughing.
And then the smile drops,
My mind drifts back to her.
She sits on the bed,
With the horrid laughs echoing in the halls.
My smile picks back up so no one will know
I hope no one knows
To all of my loved ones up in Heaven
I miss you everyday
And I hope things are better
It was hard to find a light
When the world felt so dark
You left us too soon
But not one day went by when
I didn’t think of you
You were the keys to our hearts
And for that we are grateful
To all of my loved ones up in Heaven
I miss you everyday and I hope things are better
I hate the pressure I put on myself to find someone,
The sob stories I hear from the girls
About the arguments they have with their boyfriend,
Why would I wish that on myself?
The feeling of “Why am I not good enough”
That’s not really me.
I don’t want the pressure,
I want to enjoy summer with the girls
and weekends out with my friends.
Why do I continue to believe I’m not good enough,
When what I’m “not good enough for”
Is not what would make me happy.
The good and the bad
Sports are like a drug
No matter how people say I’m not good enough
I’m still there every training trying
Some coaches kill the love of the game
Some lift you if in your darkest times
Finding friends forever through sports
The heartbreak and glory that comes with it
The good and bad sports is always there
I live on a farm
Me dad does no harm
I have 2 cats
That are better than all the Kilcoole rats
I have two friends
But the craic never ends
I hate my natural hair
I don’t know why I care
Likey No LIkey
I like money
I like gym
I don’t like honey
I like to swim
I like cars
I like bikes
I like Mars bars
And hate to hike
Ziggy your tail is so wiggy ,
Your blue eye shines in the sky
Your big paw hood mine
As we lie in time with the chime
We look back on our time