Coláiste Chiaráin, Athlone, Co. Roscommon

My Father

 

“Doctor, how long has he got?”

I sit and wonder what sort of sickness has to the power to make a grown man cry.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t quite answer that”. The doctor half smiles.

Fear takes it’s unwanted place in my mind.

The worst pain is the unknown.

 

Time begins to make my father deteriorate,

A once jovial, struggling to even smile now.

My heart breaks. He doesn’t deserve this, but from what I’ve heard, death doesn’t discriminate.

 

I still wait for an answer, unsure of what the future has concocted.

The pain, as impenetrable as ever.

My thoughts writhe around inside my head, like some sort of degenerate rollercoaster.

Fear begins to consume me, bit by bit.

I reminisce about our memories, as I’m unsure of when he will be gone.

 

Fear

 

Everyday I look in the mirror and all I can see is fear,

Fear of not being liked,

Fear of speaking up,

Fear of being laughed at,

People stopping, staring, judging

I show no care but, inside it’s crushing.

We’ve all been taught to ignore,

And we’ve all been reassured

That everything is fine.

We say that we are ok, and continue with our day.

But really we are screaming, hoping, wondering will anyone care?

People have gotten so good at lying,

It’s kind of scary.

People don’t know how to show how they feel anymore,

Because they’re scared of what people will say

They put on a smile and act like everything’s fine,

When really they could be crying deep down inside.

The world is a dangerous place,

But would it hurt, just to ask,

Are you sure you’re ok?

 

A Long Line of Women

 

I come from a long line of women,

Most of them now lay up in heaven

Everyday it makes me stronger,

Thinking about my mam who is no longer

I build myself up with the intention to do her proud,

But the feelings of doubt and rage get too loud

I have courage and I have hopes

I just wish there was someone to help with the ropes

Ropes that are too heavy to hold alone

When my heart shatters like a brittle bone

So I stop as my tears soak my bed linen

Keeping my head up because I come from a long line of women

 

The Anger

 

The anger I hold

Almost never told

For the world dying

Around me,

I feel like crying

For the future

Looking further and further

Muter as the

Water that shall rise

Seeks to quiet

Our lives and

Of minds

Till all that is left

Is a small quite world

Drifting alone in the void

 

Wednesday

 

What happened on Wednesday,

I wonder what went wrong

How are we all hypocrites,

To things that we see ruin and what we all see unfold.

To drugs that made my friends fall and worry.

Because they decided to withhold their pain until they go grey and old

Where their children will finally hold their hand instead of those evil bags,

And they lay there defeated by the substance

On a bed of white, cold.

 

And now we’re here

On a park bench waiting

To repeat that cycle

And wonder, why we’re here?

What went wrong in our heads?

To lead us to Wednesday,

Because straightaway I feel people shouldn’t need this getaway.

But I do.

And they do too.

 

My Head

 

Standing there head spinning

Chest rising, awareness thinning

Watching people pass

While I collapse

Vision blurring, scary thoughts reoccurring

Fighting back this attack

Breath slowing, heart relaxing

Returning as if nothing happened

Slowly waiting for the next

 

Wrongs and Rights

 

Wrongs and rights

Lies damn lies and statistics

We will never fix this

Instead of uniting, we divided

And our problems seem to multiply

 

We are two heads of the same body

But just because I don’t fit into your box you don’t want me

Why do you focus on dividing?

Instead of uniting

 

Focused on being so right that you’re wrong

Saying men don’t have to be strong

But then sitting back and watch along

As he slaves away for her majesty

As if she were the queen of Hong Kong

 

This doesn’t give men the right to be rude

Cause objectifying women is so crude

If you want respect, earn it

And if you think that’s okay then learn it

 

We need to show no tolerance to discrimination

Across every single nation

I think it’s quite funny you know

The amount of hypocrisy you show

 

Saying you want equality

And then bash the other half for

What some 200 year old man done

Are you kidding me?

 

If only you were a little bit more sympathetic for the situation

You better understand the discrimination

But you keep living in your black and white world

And I’ll do what’s right

Even if I stand alone

 

Life is not Perfect

 

Life is not all about happiest

Life is not straightforward

There are many setbacks

Life is not perfect no one is

It is ok not be ok

Teenager years are so hard

I hate it but I love it at the same time

Life is only getting started

Life is hard being dyslexic

Because it is hard to express my feeling

This might be a bad poem

But I don’t care

 

Caged

 

Stuck in the cage of seemingly everlasting capture

Behind the bars of bacterial nightmare

Nothing to do

Nowhere to run to

Boredom overtaking the air

When will the key of safety

Free us from the entrapment?

 

Today

 

We’re in lockdown,

We can’t leave our house,

Constantly overthinking and always with doubts.

Worried, anxious and the fear of the unknown,

That disquieted feeling of being alone.

Hours spent on a screen doing schoolwork,

Being overworked.

For what they say?

For you and you only,

Today is the day!

 

Online school

 

Two weeks off,

Yes, I can’t wait,

Nearly a year later and it’s not so great,

What was suppose to be a break just to be sure,

Turned into something much much more,

I sit here thinking when will it end,

While I watch my school work try and send,

I never wanted to go to school,

But keeping me home now feels cruel.

 

What a Shame

 

When can we stop shaming and blaming the lives of those who have not stopped caring

Growing up in a world where everything about them is up for discussion

No one ever thinks about the mental repercussions

When we overthink and worry about how we are viewed,

It is not without reason when our actions are always up for review

Why do we think that this can go on,

How can we allow these ideas to spawn and respawn

 

My Life

 

My life right now is stuck inside,

Feels like i’m being forced to hide,

Cycling to the pitch to play,

Cos theres nothing else in my 5k.

I’m up at 7 to train at half past,

Feels like im living at half mast,

Working out just like a freak,

For county minor 6 times a week.

Cant wait for summer and all it brings,

Go out and dance and laugh and sing,

Loads of nights out soon to be,

Heaps of craic and zero sleep.

And until then were still in quarantine,

But we have our health and that’s all we need.

 

The Weight

 

I feel the weight on me

Is it weight of missing assignments?

Or the weight of trying to be someone I’m not?

Maybe the weight of trying to smart or trying to be a good friend?

But when will this weight leave

When will I finally be able to lose it?

What if I have already lost it?

But the voice inside my head is telling me it’s still there

I can get out of bed

But I have Zoom at nine

“Just get up and you’ll be fine”

Says my mother

But she doesn’t know I can’t

It’s the weight

The weight of my cat sitting on me

 

Lockdown

 

We’re in lockdown

We can’t leave our house,

Constantly overthinking and always with doubts.

Worried, anxious and the fear of the unknown,

That disquieted feeling of being alone.

Hours spent on a screen doing schoolwork,

Being overworked,

For what they say?

For you and you only,

Today is the day.

 

All This Stuff

 

I got all this stuff I’m tryna say,

But I keep inside all day,

I know the lads gonna judge,

So I don’t have the budge.

 

I keep my thoughts at a low,

But I let my feeling come and go,

I like to go forward in stride,

Though I’m heavy on the inside.

 

The Wall

 

Each summer day we climb the wall

We walk the streets and we see them all

We mess about, you can see us fall

Each summer day we climb the wall

 

Each summer day we climb the wall

We ran about, we run the halls

We mess about we kick the ball

Each summer day we climb the wall

 

Each summer day we climb the wall

We stroll about but it must haul

I mess about on my way home to bawl

Each summer night I never get a call…

 

How

 

How to begin

How to begin

Why not just make a din

Life is like pottery

You’re the potter or the clay

Sitting in class to sounds of

Wha hey

Beating and bullies

And uniform blue

May not mean anything to you

But to me they were school

And done by lads who thought themselves cool

The authority conceded

And never impeded

On what fun there was to be had

By punching the English Lad

 

Fresh Spring Morning

 

Fresh Spring morning,

I sit outside the same like everyday,

New-born lambs jumping round,

But some just hide out of the way.

 

To them I am this great big giant,

They shouldn’t be scared of me,

To them I should be the beauty of Nature,

To them I am the tree.

 

Lockdown

 

We just want to be free

We want to be at the beach in the sea

I would love to see my friends

And spend time with them

But instead we spend all our time

Spending money online shopping

 

Not for Me

 

Lock down isn’t for me,

I’d rather be at me friends drinking tea,

Online school isn’t for me,

I’d rather be out and free.

 

Staying inside isn’t for me,

I’d rather be where it is sunny,

Level 5 isn’t for me,

I think you have to agree.

 

Covid-19 please go away,

You are putting me in array,

When you finally go away,

We’ll all go hooray

 

Speed

 

All the noise starts at the turn of a key

Like a beast that is angry and about to be free

 

With a foot off the clutch and a push on the pedal

The monster is loose a wild beast of metal

 

As the machine speeds up and the tension rises

Brain just focused from any surprises

 

For some it is deviant for some causes grief

But for this young driver a sense of relief

 

Stuck Inside

 

No matches to go no place to have fun

No friends to see no teachers to see teach

Stuck inside all alone

I might send you a letter and things might get better

 

Days

 

Days are tough

No matches

No fun on the weekends

No interaction with the crowds and the players

But glad to be here

The cycling goalkeeper is here.

Brings a smile to my face

But not when they got no bloody ketchup

Beating Cleves in the countdown is a must.

Thank you so much

Long live the cycling gk

Yellows yellows yellows.

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