Funny
It’s funny how you wanted me first,
How you reached out to me before I even knew who you were.
It’s funny how I thought I’d give you a chance,
To get to know the real you.
It’s funny how I got to know you ,better than I’ve ever known anyone before.
It’s funny how I shared every detail of my life with you, and you like wise.
It’s funny how after the time we had, you left me.
It’s funny how you wanted me first.
In Your Arms
In your arms, a haven so warm,
A love that’s gentle, like a calm storm.
Through every joy and tear we share,
Your love for me, beyond compare.
You’re my guiding light, my rock, my guide,
With you by my side, I feel so alive.
A bond unbreakable, forever strong,
A mother’s love, an eternal song.
Thank you for your endless care,
For being there, always, everywhere.
In my heart, your love will stay,
Forever and ever, come what may.
In a crowded world of faces
I stand alone in empty spaces.
Among the cliques and laughter’s sound,
I’m the one who’s not quite found.
Yearning for connection, a sense of place,
But feeling like an outsider in this space.
For though I may feel like I don’t belong,
I’ll embrace my differences and stay strong.
When I’m alone
In a crowd
Without company
I press a mask to my face
I stitch a shallow smile
And I sow my unfeelingness
To hide the hurt
“I’m fine.”
Head Down
I avoid those side alleys
Avoid those eyes
I keep my head down to avoid my lies
I seem to be alone as I walk along the road
But I’m always prepared
For the corner as I turn.
Humanity’s Art
In the spectrum of humanity’s art,
Every gender plays its part.
Each unique, yet intertwined,
In the grand design of humankind.
Goddess
A woman’s strength,
a radiant light,
In every challenge,
she takes flight.
Her voice,
her power,
both immense,
For equality,
she jumps the fence.
I Hide
I hide in the corner
and don’t make a squeak
Cause I know that you’ll just
cut me down when I speak
You said I could tell you anything
but don’t let me talk
You’re not there for me
but I’m always your rock.
Eyes so bright
Like shooting stars
A face so kind, even from afars
Everytime I see you my face lights up
And I feel like I can get through this stuff
Day by day it keeps me going
And prevents my fear and weakness from showing
When we’re together I feel like me
And I believe I can see
The place where I would like to be
Which is with you
Thank you.
Fire Clouds
Beneath the sky
where dreams ignite,
a journey unfolds,
bathed in light.
with every challenge,
a chance to rise,
embrace the hope
that never dies.
Your love for is great,
but your words tear me down into a state,
she tells me she loves me everyday
but I can’t get this numbing feeling away,
all I want is to be myself,
but u choose to use words that change this…
and now I am full of hate.
Falling Leaves
A primary school class
of me and five boys
Who thought we’d be friends for life
We got through thick and thin, through any pressure or strife
Close as can be but not too much
Because even at 10
a boy wasn’t seen
as “Just a friend”
Started “big school” with 2 of those boys
Boys I knew everything about
We’d stuck together through it all
Never thought that Ashton halls
Would signal the end of our era
Both of those boys changed
And one stuck with me but the other was lost to the “lads”
I hated to see
Who he pretended to be
But now he’s finally coming back.
Just Another Target
The thuding of a propeller thunders through the headset.
It’s so close, I can hear the sailors on deck.
They’re sing and calling to each other, having pride and fun in their work.
“Target bearing 170, range 400 meters”, I call out.
“Ready to fire” replys the captain.
“Torpedo ready” calls out a crewmate.
Still the distant men sing, unaware of the danger they’re in.
“Fire,”shouts out the captain.
The single word echos around the Hull as the boat lurches from the launch.
Yet the men continue to work anaware of the barrel of death plowing its way through the water towards them.
Suddenly the sound changes as they try in vain to avoid the inevitable.
A deafening bang sounds through the headset.
And suddenly silence, the singing is no more, instead it’s replaced by the screeching of twisted metal and frantic calls as the crew try to save themselves.
The others cheers but not me, for I know that although we won this battle, it’s only so long until we’ll just be a target on someone else’s hydraphone.
I’m on the outside
I know I’m on the outside
because I know what the inside looks like.
It doesn’t look particularly good or bad
it just looks like the inside of something.
I see people that feel on the outside too on the inside.
I see some people on the outside too but they’re not like me.
I try to fit, I try to stay,
I try to run,
I try to hide
but I never make it inside.
In-Between
I can’t seem to fit between the lines
With sideways curves and curving sides.
In colouring sheets I could not fit;
My colours run and leak and split.
In mirrors, I should be silver and clean
And perfect and pretty and lithe and lean.
Yet when I see her I speak and make her cry
Until her glassy eyes are dry.
I could not be enough, I could not be right
I am not smart, I am not bright.
I can’t see through my own harsh lies
So I sit and hate my own designs.
Them
The Catholic Church sits across the road
Stupid that I even think that
But here I am crossing said road
Eyes on the ground like a prat
I spend hours there
I kneel and know all the prayers
Funny thing is no one should care
There literally the same chairs
When I walk in and hear
“F*** the prods”
I wonder why it’s the same thing after all these years
It is after all the same god.
Newtime 23/10/23
I come back from school after a long week, I sit
down to do my work and I hear
a leak
I turn on the news to see the sea (metaphor for the flood)
In Palestine the people are not free,
In Ukraine the situation isn’t any better, they keep on fighting as the planet gets
hotter
As I look at the sport for a bit of positivity I see Ireland’s eliminated and France
is eliminated
I finally shut the TV off and give my mind a rest so that tomorrow I can be at my
The Long Walk
Step chains to step chains to mile after mile,
Through the woods and trees and hills and bees around still lakes with no mouth.
I’ve walked a thousand miles and I’ll walk a thousand more
And I’ll walk across the earth till I reach the world’s shore.
I’ve stepped in sync in friends in cadence,
But I’ve also stepped across silence through solitude.
I have no goal nor destination, no place to stop nor end in reach, and when I reach the end of this road and there are no more steps to take,
Then I’ll go home and make myself a sandwich.
I wish
I was more like all my friends
as they are all so pretty and smart
and just so nice I wish I was more like them
I know I sound like a pick me
|but I’m not trying to be
I just want people to see me as how I see all of them
which is such beautiful people
and just for guys to think I’m pretty.
Girlhood
The perfect ponytail, your favourite perfume, the necklace you never take off, the scar above your knee, your first pair of ballet shoes, your childhood best friend, academic achievements, getting ready with your friends, day 2, bad hair days, sharing clothes, arguing with your sister, laughing with her, insecurities, compliments that mean the world, crying, smiling, loving and living.
I kept roaming
to a fork in the endless road
i see a woman
Blinding streetlights that segment the disaster and outline the varying of this rotten fear and forgotten passion and unkpet promises
Stopping as if to look in her eyes you sat by my side and watched my eyes watching for the moment the change came
Where all my skin was cut and I bled out a portion of it down the drain I can’t make you happy and it seems like all I do is try
You can never cut me deep enough to leave a scar take this gift to somewhere safe.
True Love
This is about the one who’s been there for me.
The love of my life, my one and only.
My father, my teacher my master, my friend, the one who’s loved me without any end.
You’ve saved me, given me strength,
helped me up when there was no one else.
I wouldn’t be able to do life without your mercy and grace.
You’ve given me friends to cherish and love,
and the one who will help me through this life, but you’re in it all.
You’ll help me through this life and the next.
I’ll trust in you Lord, dear Jesus.
Always.
Bright Light
Henry was a bright and inspiring figure
And he had a mind like the pull of a trigger
He was kind and light hearted
He finished what he started
He didn’t judge
And his will doesn’t budge
When in moments of vulnerability
He had the ability
To help others who are in humility
One Day
Never know really who I am
Feels like I’m faking everything
Dream to look good
But I don’t think it’s good luck to dream
I guess I’ll never know
But I know that’s it’s now or never
I know that I have a lot
But there’s not a lot to know
All that keeps me going is the thought that
One day
I could be a new person starting
Day one
And some guy would say
‘He’s cute’.
It doesn’t hurt around people
With people the pain fades
And disappears into the pit that is my soul
My very essence
My every thought and feeling
With people a smile cracks open across my face
And a laugh escapes my throat
But like all else, people go away.
The pain surges through my body
It floods all else from inside
Until I am empty
Until I am nothing
From nothingness builds a pressure
It forces down on every inch of me
Pressing, pressing.
It presses on my heart and on my lungs
On my very soul
It drags me down until I am heavy
Everywhere is heavy because I am weight.
My eyes feel as though they may pop from my sockets
I picture them rolling across the floor
Optic nerves bringing them to a gradual halt.
I picture blood dripping down my cheeks
Slowly forming creeping rivers that split and wind as they are impeded by dirt and imperfections
Becoming a map of red on my flesh
I do not cry out
I do not scream
I just slip to my knees and fold over
Silent in pain as I always have been before
I cannot voice it
I have never been able to articulate it
I see myself from my eyes
They have stopped a few paces away
I am no longer contained within my body
Though I feel all it feels, I see myself from my eyes on the floor
I am a mess born from pain
I see myself with all the faults I feared I had
I am unlovable and hideous
I am weeping but unable to cry
I am screaming but unable to say anything
I am a portrait of despair and fear
I am every insecurity
I am the unspeakable pain within myself
I see it now
I see how it has consumed me
Eaten away at who I am from the inside out
Until I have become so overcome by pain
That I lay awake at night
Alone
So very alone
Imagining a way to make it stop
I took no steps to stop it
I didn’t deserve to stop it
I have become someone so alone
And so overwhelmed by their loneliness
That I see these horrible portrayals of my feelings
I see my pain
The heaviness I feel becomes too unbearable to do anything but imagine
There is nothing within me but the swirling thoughts in my head
They have no colour
For the colour has drained from them
Leaving them as nought but wisps
That swirl in my mind
These wisps have more power than all else on earth
These bleak strands rule the barren oblivion of my mind
They wisper evil words
Like sharpened blades they pierce me
Bleeding me dry of hope
These thoughts want me dead
And these thoughts belong to me
They whisper the unspoken words of others
And conjure up scenarios so vivid they could be memories
They drag my past mistakes up from the depths of my recollection
These wisps grate at my reasoning
They roar at me that I have no reason
No purpose and no path
A hundred deadly words flitter through my head each second
And they weigh me down.
Further and further I go
I can picture myself becoming lost beneath this weight
So lost that I shall never escape
I imagine that I’ll never find my way back to dreams
And without finding dreams I cannot sleep
And if I cannot sleep I cannot wake
I can simply lie there
Unmoving
Unwanting
Slowly my muscle tissue will erode
And I will starve
My skin will rot as I lie there
Until I am a skeleton
But I am already a skeleton
A pathetic shell of my youth
Of my joy
These thoughts want me dead
And these thoughts are mine
I wish I did not want to die
I wish I was happy
I wish I was satisfied in myself
If I wish that I wanted something else, which do I want?
Do I want what I think I want, or is the wish the truth?
I do not know
This pressure will surely crack my skull
It will cave inwards and fragment
My bones will snap and my skin will tear
For the pressure has become too much
I am being pulled apart
I am snapping into pieces
I am caving inwards
I am drowning
I am bleeding
I am rotting
I am dying
The pain is so much
My thoughts are dangerous
They paralyse me because they want me to die
This insurmountable pain will take my life as surely as the sun rises in the east
I am dead already perhaps
“Hello.”
My friend calls out my name and I am alive again
At least until they leave
I’m Fine
I’m don’t have depression, I just feel alone sometimes
I don’t have depression, I just feel as though the world is more against me than every recently
I don’t have depression, I just feel the emotion sadness deeply
I don’t have depression, it just feels as though im alone in a world where I’m not understood
I don’t have depression, I just feel empty
I don’t have depression, I just lie in bed at night hoping something will change
I don’t have depression, im just not as cautious crossing the road anymore
I don’t have depression, I just need a tiny little pill to make me feel somewhat okay
I don’t have depression, or maybe I do.
Infected
I loved you.
but I didn’t want to kiss you
I just wanted to be near you
you made me feel pure
the poison you injected was like medicine.
you are a disease with no cure
my brain forever will be rotting
I hate that I still love you.
Relic
I’m a relic to be forgotten,
a relic you haven’t forgiven,
a reminder of shame and pain.
standing here waiting for its turn again.
The relic doesn’t change,
tries to change,
fails to change for you.
It sits there hoping to be seen.
To not be relic to you
Scattered
I had went to walk the streets again
Where the night called me its own
Where I saw the men stroll on
Where I found you, near dead
Your mind had been let unfold
For me to put back together
To keep your ills at bay
In the grand scheme of things
Who is well?
I am not
You left me no time for that
I felt your hands run over the grooves of my body
And your word penetrate my mind
I was left, lost, before the pieces of me that were broken off scattered into your arms
These days
Society is probably the most accepting it has been.
However, expectations for women still hurt.
Your body should look like this,
you should be small and dainty,
you should be polite and keep quiet,
your skin needs to be perfect, the list goes on and on.
Although it seems like it, insecurities are still very real,
but I believe a woman is a woman.
She creates life, she is a wife,
she is a daughter and that’s all the truly matters.
People Change
I hate how people change without you,
You cont even look them in the eye,
I hate that I’m not good with words
So I just tell you I’m fine.
I don’t have courage to ask for help
Unless I get a nudge.
I hate that my friends didn’t see this poem
Because I don’t want them to judge.
The Rush
There is no way to describe the feeling when you pick up a guitar for the first time. The power, the noise and feeling of having the world in your hands just with the music you have made. But the heartbreak there is when the passion you have is the theme of a joke and a laugh. You think it’s not fair you think it’s the end. But when people laugh dont loose the music because its your freind.
My love for you
is a push or pull on my heart,
a stabbing pain of a spear
going throughout,
as you left me I cried
and when u stayed I smiled,
but don’t leave me again
because ur the lock to my heart.
New
I don’t have much to write about,
I’m new to this school.
My grades have gone up. I like math now.
Everything will go my way,
Because everything is going my way.
The best part of new beginnings,
Is the chance to make a new me.
I wonder
sometimes what if I said yes
What if I said I would
Would the outcome be different
Would we be in love.
Life
Hate this school.
Hate the people.
Moving house.
Moving school.
Leaving friends.
Wants to go wants to stay.