All my worries fade away
Where my soul is freed
From the chains of the real world
My thoughts consumed by melody
A talented voice on a catchy beat
That batters down the barriers
Of my freedom
Those endless walls hold me back
From true expression
The foundation of my never-ending education
This school without walls
Where knowledge is a song
You realise that you have a heart
That tears your inner self apart
For all we leave is memories
That fade over the centuries
A strange kind of synergy
No walls can hold your energy
The problem with being smart
Is that your mind can tear itself apart
My thoughts are a hamster on an ever-spinning wheel
Insecurities have a place here, in the dark for them to stay
I can create amazing things out of the broken fragments of my dreams
I can be by myself and watch my worries gently pushed away
For I know that walls hear more than anybody else
Those secrets that cannot be told
The ones that kept the world you know from falling apart
For there are things in here about me that I will never show
My mind has is a fortress stronger than you will ever know
My Darkest Thoughts
My darkest thoughts lurk
Where I can be whatever I want
Where I plan winding future
Along the traveller’s way
Where good and bad memories
Are buried like treasure
Deep beneath the foundation of my thoughts
Where the world know more than me and you
And all my dearest dreams.
Present me with signs I cannot see
More powerful than you could understand
The terrifying truth of me
I come from a generation we’re you can’t be different
Friends lie to your face and say you’re perfect when you’re not
Everyone has to be the same
No one can be unique when it comes to school
They say express yourself but when it comes to it
You get in trouble
You get roared at
She was broken, hurt and lost
All she did was dream
She dreamt of high buildings and mountain tops
But it was as if she could never reach
She was lost
You can be calm as a sleeping ocean,
Or as loud as a hungry baby.
It can be hard to find love in war
But if you are found you are greatly appreciated.
Not many have you,
But many want you.
You are a burden to endure,
Yet you are an accomplishment to achieve.
To be patient whilst feeling impatient is the hardest thing you can do.
The feeling of sun burning your face.
The feeling of cold breeze running down your face.
The feeling of being free and wild.
These are all of my feeling during summer.
There’s no place like home.
Curtains, lights, action.
The sweet smell of dry ice and hairspray.
My home. The Stage.
It’s the only place where I feel I can be myself.
Show after show.
Rehearsal after rehearsal.
Love and passion.
My parents are divorced,
They have no remorse.
Did they not think of I,
Through all the lies,
All I did would cry and cry.
Years fly by,
All I do is lie in bed.
Trying to clear my mixed up head,
It still heavy as lead.
I don’t know how to describe what I’m going through,
Maybe I’ll figure it out soon.
Never considered myself to have a hard life
Never considered picking up the knife
Never considered myself blessed, but mam and dad always knew best
Never considered my life as amazing, until I found my fire and it was blazing.
No Longer Mine
It started as a friendship at just 14,
We were young and naive with things to achieve.
As time went on feelings grew fonder,
Then we began to wander.
Couple years down the line things started to intertwine,
Then I realised you were no longer mine.
I hate school.
We’re told we should be acting like adults
Yet we’re treated like children
We’re meant to be learning how to be independent
Yet I still have to put my hand up to ask to go the toilet
We learn how to do algebra
Yet we’re not taught how to pay bills
We’re told to be different
Yet we all wear the same uniform
I honestly feel like I’m just being trained to do what someone else wants me to do
I hate school.
This is where I sleep and stay up at night.
This is where my ideas are kept extra tight.
This is where its dark even in the midst of daylight.
This is where things can change in the switch of a light sometimes giving a fright.
This is Where
This is where I go to school
This is where I follow the rules
This is where our minds whizz like a pool
I can find someone to talk to and they would listen to every word.
Some of my favourite memories held place like learning how to skip.
I learned what sounds animals make.
I learned how to tie my shoelace.
Heard your cries from study sessions at three am.
Seen you leap for joy when you a new season came out on Netflix.
I have been left bare when you left with everything except the cobwebs.
Heard your fights with your parents over silly things
And picked up all the pieces of you to help you mend
Your broken wings.
And so, I become sad and miserable
Like an insignificant sheep
In a lost and abandoned herd
Oppressed, forgotten and broken
Stripped of agency
Watching friendships flower and burn
Watch the worlds of children
Fall into ruin
And I remember every kid
Who was ever horrible to a teacher
I remember teachers lying to save themselves
And so, I become sad and miserable
But above all
My family began to fell apart,
The conversation took place and our hearts are broke,
I had to go away and a new life would start,
I spend have my days apart from the other part of my world,
I look for help and can not always find it.
I look for answers and don’t receive them not even parts,
The quiet drop offs and pick ups occur,
The tension builds every Friday on my departure.
Witnessed the final days of the words being clean,
Saw the last happy moments together,
Notice the signs that I could never have seen,
Have seen the arguments that I never heard,
Heard the heartbreak that I was unaware had been,
Saw my family fall apart in front of their eyes.
I want to be able call this place my home
For my dreams to become reality
Where my ambition is adored
Where everyday is a new adventure
And no one is ever bored
Where I can see my future
In a place where I want to be
Beyond these walls, i’m on my way
And the wind is calling me
In my brain recognised a whirlpool
There is no point just ridicule
Every little thing a ground rule
No such thing as an April fool
All serious, serious, serious
Stupid, stupid school!