Art by Claudine O’Sullivan: https://jamartprints.com/artist/claudine-osullivan/
It is okay to bloom on your own,
Enjoy happiness on your own,
You only have you,
Experience your own happiness while trying to survive.
Time on Earth
Everyday spent fighting
Fighting to spend my time wisely
Trying not to waste time
But at the same time
Trying to enjoy my time
Because time is short
On this big blue earth
Farming isn’t a job it’s a lifestyle you have to love it to live it
Some people say we work too much, but we work to feed people
No farmers no food
Some people give out about the smell of slurry and yes, it is stinky
Every farmer loves drawing silage
We do not hurt our animals we really care and love our cattle
Farming isn’t a job it’s a lifestyle. You have to love it to live it.
From getting up in the morning at 6am to going to bed at 12pm the love is still alive.
Climbing up into the tractor and there is no feeling better.
Getting your farm payment in the post by a letter.
Seeing your pet cow have her calf is a great sight to see,
Nearly as good as a John Deere made in 2023.
It’s a grey cold day,
I can’t wait to go home and eat my dinner,
Last class is free that makes me happy,
When the clock strikes four, I’ll be first out the door
This is where the sliotar is hit
Where the cold winter trainings take place
Shivering all night
The early weekend matches
The chats pre match
Parents shouting you on from the side-line
That feeling when u score
What is my passion? To create, to tell a story?
To cry when it starts or when it’s over?
To experience the world as it is?
Or to create one to my image?
To struggle when it gets easy or when it’s hard?
Do I bend a knee to what people’s expectations of me
Or do I rise above and stand alone on my dream.
Do I listen to the praise and adoration of those who mean the most?
Or do I hear the critics,
The Mockery from those who mean nothing.
Do I stop when I, my mind says to?
Or do I stop when my health,
Which may worsen to pursue dictate when I do?
I do, I struggle, and I cry, I listen, and I don’t.
I breath to live and I live to create
And to create I live.
My hurl is my friend
My calming place
It knows all my secrets
My every move my every decision
Its apart of me it never leaves
It’s like my third arm, we could never part
It guides me everyday
My life will be forever complete with my friend by myside
Pieces of me which I do not have a say in,
I do not get to decide.
You have been out of line, for moments stolen and quite some time.
Assets of mine which I have been given but are not my own
She has his, he has hers and I have been completely thrown.
Do not get me started on the September we first met
I would be forced to admit to all I regret.
For I do not have a say in the decisions which have been made,
May they ultimately define me and who I am today.
I am greater than your actions don’t get me wrong
I knew how it would end all along.
On the hurling pitch is where I play
The ash sticks in my hand, ready to fulfil the day
As the whistle blows everything outside the pitch stops
As the referee puts on his clock
35 minutes on the dot
The midfielders are put on the spot
Ball thrown in all focus is there
As the spectators stop and stare
The Green Field
When I put on the red and white, I am me
The colours are power
The jersey is meaning
The pitch is our battlefield, and the game is war
My hurl is my weapon
The club is my home
Me and my team together
Playing the game
Fighting as one
Everything I Am
I am the light, showing freedom and innocence,
I am the dark, full of shadows and grieving
I am the colours, fluidity and accepting of the world I am in
I am black and white, living by strict rules and morality.
I am everything and I am nothing.
Everything I am is because of you,
I am nothing,
And you are everything
In the fields of Ardcroney
And the shop down the road
If you lived in this village your head would explode
With the magnificent soccer club and the grand primary school
What else would be the crack
In a village this cool
I am the horse stuck in the stable
Waiting willing and able
I am the horse that thrives for success
Trains every day but is never the best
I am the horse who is brought out last
Always the first for the eye to pass
I am the horse that showed up late
And weather to bet is always a debate
I am the horse that got of the line
And during the race seems to be going fine
I am the horse that’s second from first
And still will give that last big burst
I am the horse striding the cheering crowd
I am the horse wearing the crown
Love is like a hot chocolate,
By the warm, crackling flames of a fire on a cold winters’ night.
Love is like food,
A warm soup that granny made on a chilly autumn day.
Love is that warm feeling inside,
When you meet that person.
It’s the butterflies or the shakiness of your hands or
It’s the uncertain feeling you get,
One that isn’t felt very often,
But when that one person comes into your life,
You immediately recognise this feeling,
It hits you like a train; this feeling is love.
I feel hungry for lunch right now
I feel different after talking about things that are just there and no one ever acknowledges them
It’s a good different I think
I think I want to be quiet and alone and think about what we talked
But mostly I feel hungry
Living a Lie
Living a lie
To have a family that pretends to be happy
To imagine your dead sister is still with you to not feel alone
To have your private hideout in your own home to feel alone
To think you have friends when you don’t
To move to different houses because of money problems
To move to a different country to feel more safe
To have a fake imagination of your future that’ll never happen because of the consequences
To feel happy when deep-down you’re empty and confused
Living a lie.
Here I feel like the pressure is down on me
If I do not perform to my best people will frown upon me
This makes me feel anxiety and it frightens me
But I also feel doing well is what defines me
These goals that I set will fill me with regret
As time goes by while I idly fret
I know it not right to behave like this
But I feel like acting another way is taking a risk
I know it’s not all bad though I am lucky to be smart
But sometimes it’s hard always trying to fulfil this role.
I miss you
I miss your voice, your laugh and you
I miss the way you always knew what to say no matter what the situation was.
I would do anything to be with you
Just one more time
Just one last time.
This Negative World
Why is the world such a negative place?
Why is it wrong to love ourselves?
Why are these thoughts considered as normal?
I hate my nose
My face shape is weird
My thighs are too big
My tummy has too much fat
My hair is the wrong colour
Will we ever get a world where loving ourselves is not deemed as “weird or “too confident?”
Will we ever get a world where we don’t bring others down for something that is beautiful?
Maybe yes or maybe no
A girl can always dream.
Every place I move I feel more alone and change for something to prove
But I got nothing at least that’s what I’m told and think
I find myself and lose more each time is it a crime
To be different and not cruel for others to find you cool
Each time I move school
I’m lost but have a feeling this time it’s right
I don’t know.
Some need help to get through simple everyday things like just waking up
Some love and cherish that they wake up every day,
Whereas some people simply struggle by waking up.
Most people that do, do it in silence without the help they know they need
Them people are the ones that get the line
“You can’t be struggling that bad, you’re always smiling and happy”
When they attempt to get the help they have craved and needed.
When in reality it is very easy for some people to walk through absolute hell…
With the biggest smile on their face.
This is where my calf usually is…
He died last week,
I feel the tears threatening to spill
From my saddened eyes,
Things pass by,
But Jeff will always be in my mind.