Mother
A mothers supposed to be gentle and kind
but in her absence I feel completely blind
I remember her smile so pretty and bright
I see it sometimes when I’m lonely at night
my heart breaks annually on that sad day in June
my mother, my best friend gone too soon.
Gymnastics
when I go to gymnastics what evers said goes
my hard work goes unnoticed at competition it never shows
the opportunities given to the other gymnasts the favouritism shows
when I ask to be included I’m told tough
apparently my hard work is never enough
The Guilt
I return home from school,
My sister is using the bathroom.
I curse the fact our house is ‘too small’
Meanwhile, the boy in my english class who always smells like cigarettes
Is cursing the fact he has to spend another night on the cold, unforgiving concrete.
I open the fridge,
There isn’t much there. There hasn’t been since Dad lost his job.
I curse the fact he’s out of work.
Meanwhile, the woman I walked past on the road
Is cursing herself as she scrounges in bins.
I log onto snapchat,
What do you know, she’s on holiday again, somewhere sunny
I curse the fact that holidays are a luxury we can’t afford
Meanwhile, my sister’s friend is thankful for a trip to the beach and a McDonald’s.
The Guilt creeps in. How dare I feel resentment for what I don’t have when millions would give anything for half of what I’ve got.
The Guilt haunts me. It keeps me humble.
Thankful. And even when things are better, when i’m in sunny Spain with a stocked fridge and a shiny car,
I’ll keep hold of The Guilt.
Because if I ever lose the Guilt,
I’ll lose myself.
Absent
I used to love visiting him
though I didn’t get to do it often
I barely even knew what was happening
nobody told me I was in a prison
now that I’m older i understand
why he wasn’t there holding my hand
but its ok now I forgave and forgot
because she was always here for me when he was not
Friendship
Why are you so smart?
You’re actually really good at art
What do these people intend?
They’re not trying to be my friend
The people who really care
Don’t tell me they like my hair
Real friendships are more than nice words
An abstract language like the song of birds
Homesick
Homesick is so annoying. I miss my country so much.
Everyone there understand me not like here,
different culture, different language, different religion.
I just can’t wait till i go back to Saudi Arabia.
I love it there. I can be myself, no one can judge me.
And the food there is soo good like it’s the best food ever.
And today is the Saudi National day and i just wish I was there to celebrate it with my family and friends.
However, here is nice. The people are friendly and smiling.
And I like the weather too,
I know people here hate it but it’s not bad.
Women
Women would work in household jobs, being told it was their duty by the mob.
Women would walk throughout the streets, and be called shameful things by those they meet.
How many women lived in fear, of those that they held very near?
How many Einsteins spent their days washing dishes and patching up clothes with simple stitches?
When did the world decide, that women could not learn or work with pride?
When did the governments make the choice that women could not have a voice?
Did women wish to be uneducated, to have all of their talent be wasted?
How many Women hoped and prayed, that one day they would hopefully be saved?
Alone Time
I like spending time by myself
A lot of people don’t understand that
The difference between being alone and feeling alone
No one enjoys feeling alone, lonely
The feeling of having no one by your side
Neither do I
Being alone is different
Being content with spending time with just yourself and no one else
My mum tells me to go out more
She says I’m lonely
She doesn’t understand
But I do
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If I was honest I would tell you of my truth,
But I’m not. So, I’ll leave you guessing, with no proof.
And if I was a flatterer I would raise you to the sky,
But yet again, I’m not. So, don’t go acting so high.
Lastly, if I was humble, I’d only ever speak in mumbles.
But once again, I’m not. So, I’ll praise myself in bundles.
Beauty
To family my beauty is an award I had the luck of winning
To friends my beauty is what they desire about me
To classmates my beauty is who they see everyday
To strangers on the street my beauty is what is written across my face
To passers by my beauty is the lasting impression
To the boys in my class beauty is my most prominent feature
To men that look at me my beauty is for them to have
To society my beauty is what makes me a woman
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Hate is a strong word to use in any instance.
But there are somethings that I cant understand why I hate them but I do….
I hate when others put each other down due to false prejudice against one another.
I hate when there are chocolate wrappers are left in the box at Christmas.
I hate how I have to turn to look behind me every 20 seconds to see if their is someone behind me.
I hate when I save myself the last slice of pizza in the fridge and someone takes it.
I hate when I hear whistling or shouting being intended towards me and i choose to ignore it.
I hate when I forget my leap card and have no change to take the bus after school.
I hate having to be weary of what i wear in public as i don’t want to be called by others and having to keep one ear hearing when walking my dog so i can hear if someone is coming up behind me .
But there are things that I love…
hugs by loved ones, little pieces of paper in my lunch box of my parents telling me they love me and see me.
I love when I can laugh with my friends and go to the movies with them.
I love when the class is interesting and engaging and I safe space to be in.
Why do I need to hate more than love things more,
is it because I’m scared or is it because I’m a girl….. you tell me
Teenage Fear
I am someone who is easily amazed
as well as someone who is nearly always afraid.
I fear all that seems strange
Mostly this fear comes from any change.
As a person I am mostly content
however as a teenager contentment is only to a certain extent.
I am a person of many devotions
as well as a teenager constantly overcome with several strange emotions
Teenage Girls
teenage girls are treated like adults
they are expected to work and help around the house compared to boys the same age who sit playing video games or soccer.
teenage girls need to be more academic
the teachers in a girls school are strict and expect respect from the girls while the teachers in a boys school hardly teach them anything and let them run wild.
teenage girls are expected to dress appropriately
they are catcalled or slut shamed if they show too much skin while men walk around half naked occasionally.
teenage girls are treated terribly
Misunderstood
As I step out into the cold Autumn air,
I feel the judgement of the trees blowing in the wind as if they are laughing at me.
The crunch of the leaves underneath my feet makes me feel uneasy.
The different colours of the leaves staring at me,
making me feel like I don’t fit in.
As I walk down the street, my soul jumps out of my body after every car whizzes past me in a hurry.
As I pass someone, I try to read into their soul to figure out what their story is and how they got here.
The art of nature is what connects me to the outside world.
I feel like somehow in some ways, I feel misunderstood,
not just by humans, but by figures we look at everyday.
Teenage Life
I love going to the movies and eating popcorn,
And going to the shops for clothes to be worn.
On TikTok I am a victim to the doom scroll, which takes a toll, on me,
However, spending time with my friends recharges my battery!
I love making memories with my friends,
I hope that my teenage life never ends.
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Its dark, Its sunny,
Its cold, Its bright,
your either smart or dumb but your never right,
you go out with your friends
ha ha damn the cops
but when you go home its ‘i love you mom goodnight’
we go to school and sit silently at are desks,
‘can i go to the bathroom’ is the question most asked
you mess,
you play,
make fun of your friends,
but at the end of the day your alone sitting in your bed
the voices in your head telling you ‘speak up’, ‘its okay’
but at the end of the day its never okay
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I love laughing
I hate how uncommunicative boys can be
my favourite colour is pink
I like being alone but not feeling lonely
my bed is my favourite place
I hate being socially awkward
I hate being excluded
school is very draining
I want a puppy
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my favourite colour green
I don’t like to be mean
I like to clean
I like to be treated like a queen
I like to eat meat that’s lean
I scream for ice cream
I like to play on a team
All Sorts
I like sport
I wear a skirt
I’m not very short
and I don’t like writing reports
but I come in all sorts.
The Game
The anger that formed in my body when my coaches took me off after 5 minutes
when playing an important match was indescribable.
Every other match that i play well in my coaches tell me after that
I’m going to go far but never give me a chance to expand on my skills.
When it’s noticeable favouritism amongst the players others get put down.
School
I hate school,
I am always tired,
most teachers are cruel,
and I don’t feel inspired
my books weigh a ton,
I can’t wait to be done,
I am always confused,
and never amused,
I hate school.
Unsafe
As a teenage girl I can feel unsafe from time to time
at night or day in dark or light
life is not bad at all
my hair my shoes my friends are all
my dog my family and sports
with these I’m left never bored
while violence and hate are everywhere
my people and things is all i care
Teenage Girl
Hello I am going to tell you about my life as a teenage girl,
I find there is a lot of challenges that we face for example girls acting like “girls girls” around you
but then you leave and they talk behind your back its all of the gossiping
and being friends with you one day and not the next.
Another challenge is trying to find your own style and do something different
then doing what everyone else it is this can be challenging because you an find
people might talk about you or always have something to say.
Another challengeI would say a lot of girls face is not being allowed to do certain things
but if it was a boy it would be okay this can be a struggle because
even though we may be the same age its not socially acceptable to do something
because of your gender.
Lastly a challenge of being a girl is being scared to walk alone when it’s dark
or feeling like someone is walking or stalking you when they are just going for a walk.
These are only some challenges girls face and maybe someday this could change.
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I hate the way I don’t feel safe when I walk down the road with creep boys
I hate the way boys don’t like girls unless they are blonde with the perfect face
I hate the way boys make you feel like your objects like toys
I hate the way its who does all these things first as if its a race
I hate the way boys just simply are boys
Hopping the Wall
my friend and I snook into a field a dog thinking we were a meal
we ran so fast over tall walls we were both lucky not to fall
stuck in someones garden one tall appeared to be too tall.
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I hate the way men see women as objects,
I hate that I am always the second option,
I hate that men get away with the horrible things they do to women,
I hate feeling judged by other girls,
I hate that men don’t take accountability for their actions,
I hate the feeling of abandonment,
Men
I don’t like lads especially when Im by myself as I feel unsafe around them.
I believe men and women have a built in biology where men have more upper body strength
than women and men always point out their strength to us who mostly don’t find it flattering at all.
I have a brother and a dad and I would feel that if I was mad about a topic that was bothering me
today their reply would be “Is it your time of the month?” which always annoyed me
because they were avoiding the problem that I was telling them
and blamed it on a menstruation thing that women get that make us hormonal.
Last thing is that I don’t like when they try to problem solve my problems
as I just want my problems to be understood rather than solved and most lads don’t get that.
Judo Competition
Before I was at a judo competition and I was fighting after everyone else cause of the age group started from 5 to 40+.
It was finally my time to fight and this girl I was fighting not even listening to the rules
and I went to throw her and she pushed me and fell on top of me and I fell sideways onto my shoulder.
I got rushed to hospital, this competition happened in Galway
so I was in Galway hospital and i got an X-ray and found out my arm was hanging off my shoulder
and I found out i needed surgery and they wanted to do the surgery in Galway
but I didn’t want to and it would be so hard work and i would have to stay the night in Galway
so hey booked the theatre for the day after and got put to sleep and got pins in my shoulder
to hold it together and six months later I had to get the pins out about three months ago and done continued physio
Goalie
I the goalie
I stand away from the rest
I stand in the way of what everyone wants most
I defend it like its my home
I don’t allow those in
well I try
In the end I either feel like the hero or the villain that “isn’t good enough”
I am the goalie
Worry
I get stressed,
I get worried but most of all I over think,
that’s normal I said.
Not every day and not all the time but I still do,
don’t we all.
Everyone has something to think or worry about but it’s ok .
Because it will all go away.
Judged
living in a country where everyone is expected to be the same and
if you a little bit different ur judged.
so already being black I’m singled
but not only is that “disadvantage” i’m also a lesbian.
So theirs many things people can use against me.
It’s hard to stay positive
Sunset
I love sunsets
They don’t make me upset
The colours are bright
Which make me feel light
I sit in the sand watching it go down
With a slight frown
The sunset is now done
And now it’s no fun
Music
Music is comforting
Even if you only listen to it
And it doesn’t hear you
It makes you feel better
It’s always there for you
And that’s all that matters.
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you’re not what people define you as
are you the voice in your head
or the person that listens to it
you decide who you want to be
choose to be the best version of yourself
stick to who you are
Bond
A bond of two souls tied together by a thin rope.
Seemingly strong but easily broken,
Submerged in a false sense of security,
Like porcelain, beautiful but fragile.
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what about my hair?
why do you stare?
why do you care
do you like how it flairs
what about my height?
do I give you a fright? that I’m bright
what about my skin?
why do you grin?
what’s about it makes you spin within
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What is defined as a friendship? It is a trusting relationship between different people and for me, that has always been a massive struggle for me. Finding out who I am and where I stand amongst all of these teens that surround me every single day. I’ve always known I was different and people have told me throughout my life in many unique ways. They have called me weird and annoying and is probably one of the reasons why I have always felt excluded from friendship groups/different dynamics etc. However, now I finally know the reason why I have always felt different from my peers and I’m slowly but surely, beginning to embrace it.
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Friendship is gold
Warm hearts hands hold.
Through thick thin bold
True love never old.
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Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
You are my best friend and I’m very proud of you.
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the friendship blossomed in the late summer of 2013,
but they became closer in secondary!
they grew a bond over many things
and gossiped a lot about boys and wedding rings.
theyre really cool and super fun
and always get the job done!
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Everyone has different kinds of friendships, some people may never get good friends for most of their life. Friends are fleeting, they arent always permanent and are almost always temporary, but you learn a lot from those friendships. The people that you least expect to leave or do something to hurt you are the people in your life that do it. They are very delicate, they can be toxic, abusive or genuine and pure, you can find your soulmate in people even if not romantic. But im still proud of my old friends and how they do in their life, the things they achieve because the love never disappears no matter what they did.
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I am a queer and gender-queer person in a single sex school. No matter where I am I don’t really fit in or feel like I belong. For a while in my life I was a girl, then I was a boy and then I was a girl again. None of these labels ever really felt like me at the end of the day. My ‘gender’ feels as if it is ever changing and that’s the worst part because I never fully know who I am or what resonates with me and it’s scary. I watched a movie and for the first time, I saw myself fully in one of the characters. The character was a trans person but her whole life she was afraid to look inside herself and find out who she is because she wants to be accepted. She runs away from her identity and only at the very end of the movie she realises who she is. Seeing an experience I wholeheartedly related to for the first time on a screen really shook me and this experience almost forced me to come out after going backwards and repressing my identity and telling everyone I was a girl again. I only told people I was a girl again because I was sick of feeling like I didn’t fit in, feeling like I didn’t belong and feeling judged and isolated. I gave up in trying to find myself at that time. I still don’t know who I am but I’ve slowly become more open with people that I trust in my life and I hope that I get more confidence to be who I am and to surround myself with people who actually accept me. There is still time.
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Horse riding is great
Horse riding is fun,
Horse riding is dangerous.
It can be painful
It can be stressful
But galloping down the beach or jumping a course of fences
Can be the best feeling in the world.
Horse riding is great.
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Crooked teeth and a freckled face
Doc Martins with mismatched lace
A nose piercing ad purple hair
This is me.
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Time is nothing but yet so much,
Time is you and me,
Where we are and who we will be,
Time is the thing we value the most but the least,
and time can take apart everything we have and need.
Time can’t wait and everything else can,
So take time to spend this time with those who you love the most before they’re gone
Instead of what you want or things that ruin you most and can’t see those people live on.
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I have no clue what to write,
all I know is that
I hope it isn’t an ugly sight.
Is it a lack of imagination
Or my need for perfection
That stops my hands from typing?
I’d tell you the answer, but I’d be lying.