Art by: Lena Hnatiuk ( Ukranian Artists) https://jamartprints.com/artist/lena-hnatiuk/
The Meaning
I simply can’t describe you.
You are my breath in the morning.
My warmth in the evening.
And my shade in the summer.
You are the missing piece of the puzzle
Found stuffed between the cushions.
The answer to a question
Asked many years ago.
In having you I need no more.
Luck forever graces me,
My fortune is all yours
For many years have passed my by
With lovely you by my side.
You anoint my sorrows
And mend my broken things
You kiss my scars
And hold my shame so tenderly
So quietly.
You are the meaning.
You are the light.
You are my love.
You are my life.
Love Without Sound
You looked at me
With downturned eyes
Without pity or sorrow
And like a moth with a flame
I begged and screamed
Bury me in the dirt and
Wish me goodbye under your breath
Craving your condolences and concern
I begged and screamed
I stood Infront of a mirror
Shards in my palm
Wishing for a knife
And like a fool with a king
I begged and screamed
Lilac Midnight
It was midnight
A quiet midnight
It was cold
I was so cold
I was so still
I could hear noises
But I could hear nothing
lilac danced in the night
Stars filled it
But when I looked up
It was empty
An abyss
It ate
And ate
Vessel
When I am filled with life,
When he leaves me sundered
Through hunger and strife,
When I’ve been plundered,
I’ll wait and bide.
When he’s full with what’s mine,
When he’s left free and untried,
He will take and dine
Till he has more than I
More than I ever had
Then same as eye for an eye,
I’ll turn him mad.
By taking all, leaving he empty.
A void, me once more aplenty,
River, Mountain, Sky
I am the source.
Rivers running down sleek rock.
The banks burst and flood through the land.
Destroying roads, fields and life.
The mountain moves heavy.
Bowed in an arch, hollow.
The sky is dark.
Fierce and broody.
The rivers flow steady on.
Choppy and cathartic.
The sky shakes, the river roars and the mountain heaves.
The sun has left them.
Lost, without purpose or a way.
The river knows not what time it is.
How is it to know not to rush?
The mountain knows not what season it is.
How is it to grow?
The sky has lost its vision.
How is it to know what colour to show?
All because the sun has left them.
So quickly and without warning.
How is one expected to deal with a loss such as that.
A loss so sudden and unexpected.
When all is right, and suddenly all is unrecognisable.
So profound and meaningless.
Is there more they could’ve done,
To keep the sun near?
The mountain asks, “Could I have stretched more, to reach her heat?”
The river asks, “Could I have slowed to let her see her own shine?”
The sky asks, “Should I have broadened, to let her stretch?”
Alas, the questions mean nothing, for the sun cannot reply.
If the sun were here, though, and I’m sure this is true.
The sun would simply tell them.
“There was nothing you could do”
I Will Stay
I will stay even though it hurts,
Even though I know
It’s going to keep hurting,
I will stay right here,
I don’t know where I belong,
Or if I belong with you,
But I will stay
I will stay because I know you need me,
Not as much as I need you,
Not like I want you to need me,
But you need me,
And loving you from a distance
It still a thousand times better,
Than not loving you at all.
Hugs
I love your hugs,
They that embrace me and erase my fears.
Your arms protecting me,
Against the negativity that nears.
I remember it did.
I think I preferred myself with touch,
But you took that away,
With my vulnerability in clutch.
Your warm embrace turned cold,
And your comfort quickly led astray,
My crave for your touch is gone,
And it hurts just to last the day.
My cries grew louder then quieter,
Trying desperately to push away the thought,
And rushing back again,
Were the demons I forgot I fought.
Alone Instead
The silence is so violent
Ringing like ive clamped my head
While im lying in my bed
And i know i said
That im great but in truth my stability has fled
Because the feeling of dread
Has taken over but i dont want you to find me dead
I know its small but i still have a shred
Of hope and will left but they’re only hanging on by a thread
So please
When i spill my thoughts like the blood ive bled
When i dont leave anything unsaid
Stay with me so im not alone instead
Alone instead
Love.
The thief of all thieves, the jack of all trades.
They shall steal us blind in the black of night,
Leaving us with only the torn clothes
On our backs and aching in our hearts.
Their venom cuts deeper than the sharpest sabre,
Stabbing us where we are most tender.
But Love can be our greatest companion.
Showering us with gifts of affection and emotion,
They know no limits or expression.
Love is a dancer, endearing and passionate.
Captivating and seductive.
They can be precise and intricate in each movement
But can also be free. Reckless. Fun.
Love is, of course, a poet.
Spinning words made of flowers and honey
Into a blanket that holds us
Like we are butterflies before their bloom.
Love is our most generous healer, our most ruthless hurter,
Our giver, our taker, our most divine joy,
And our deepest sorrow.
Love is time’s puppeteer.
They give us moments that seem to happen so quickly,
It’s like the clock’s handles are spinning, spinning,
spinning out of control in a technicolour blur.
But they also give us moments so slow
It’s as if Time Nearly Stops.
Hands
My hands aren’t visible
They glide through others as if they are alone
I feel their memories
But they cannot see my hands.
My heart trembles and my eyes are heavy.
They smile as if they are alone.
And they are,
They cannot see my hands.
My cold dead hands feeling no more.
They warm the room as if they are alone.
I want to say something
But I cannot feel these hands.
Feelings
Sometime you feel on top of the world,
The sky is blue and the seas for swimming,
Sometimes you feel like your absolutely winning.
But sometimes someone finds your crack
And they hack and hack and don’t take nothin back.
You wonder why they are being like this
Just as you thought life was full of bliss.
You feel alone and full of despair,
Until you remember how you felt when you were there.
You remember the places and people that make you smile
And know they cancel the haters by a mile.
You carry all this with you everyday
And know all the feeling are here to stay.
You soon realize, to have the highs you must have the lows
That is simply how it goes.
You can’t appreciate one without the other,
You can’t have haters without lovers.
You must embrace life as it’s happening
And learn to love all the feelings.
Murmur
This is not really myth or secret.
This murmur in the mouth
The mountain where the sound
of rain is born.
This surging past pilgrim town
And the village Well
This coin-thin vagina
And acid stain of bone.
This doctor with his rusty tools,
This street cleaner.
Roundabout
I once took a trip to the local playground,
Where a lonely roundabout lay.
It stood bright and red, pretty and poised,
And asked if I’d like to stay.
I stayed for a while and soon took a seat
In the roundabouts circular chair.
And when the roundabout span,
I felt dizzy and giddy
As the wind around me
Played with my hair.
“I want to stop this whirling now”
I say, but on and on
It spins.
For now I want to stop the journey,
But it wants only to begin.
My visions going blurry
Round and round we go.
I no longer want to swirl and twist
I thought I told it no.
When the swirling finally comes to a stop,
I slowly clamber out,
I feel sick and shameful of my time
On that bright red roundabout.
The Pretty Girl
She was born and raised by her beautiful family
A great childhood and lots of friends.
Had fantasy and a loud laugh
Respected and didn’t compare.
Grew up and went to school
Polite, smart but sometimes kind of a fool.
Was living her life,had all she needed.
Got older and began to think
Started wondering if she’s enough.
Ranked herself as average and boring
Tried to be perfect without noticing.
Only saw her flaws and mistakes
Couldn’t concentrate anymore.
Knew it was unhealthy but couldn’t change
Was driving herself crazy, trying to be somebody else.
Get Along
I never strive for perfection
I simply want to get along
But why does everyone expect perfection
They tell me I’m the favourite child
The one who can do no wrong
But I do do wrong
Quite regularly, apparently
And am always, always
Ripped apart
The smallest thing
Sets of an attack
The tiniest comment
Provokes a glare
A snide remark
The silent treatment
It’s hard
It’s so hard
No one understands
Being raised by children
It’s hard
Life
I’m living my life
No matter the strife.
I’m living my life
My friends by my side.
With ups and downs
No failure inbound.
With cries for help,
While no one can tell.
Life is a battle,
I’m waiting to sweep
Love is an aspect,
I’m waiting to grief.
My mind is aloof,
On standby with heathens
My heart is a void,
None willing to help.
After it all the truth is simple.
Life is a feud. And I’ve no weapon.
Un inspiration
It causes people to run from rhyme,
Ships to lie idle in the bay,
Stories to live untold,
And dreams to die a death.
It’s a formidable foe that grabs you
And grates your soul,
Which can only be beaten by bursts of brooding
Identity
What is identity?
What is mine?
Because I feel like the person I am
In front of others isn’t really “me”
Whatever “me” is
I have so many names and so many faces
But which one really defines me?
Is the real me the one people see?
Or the one that exists within my own realm of belief?
The me that swims in the rivers of my imagination
That wanders the hills of my mind
But can’t leave my abode of safety
For fear of harm
For fear of rejection
For fear of shame
Is this me?
Is this me even real?
Because how can I be real
If I only exist within myself?
Mind
Broken hearts, bleeding eyes,
Crushing reeling feeling of what if I do wrong
Burdens pressing heavily down on shoulders of mercy.
Thought wrenching, stomach knotting vulnerable helplessness.
What of it never happened?
What of I thought wrong?
The future, past, present,
Mind bending, frazzling, torturous
Built up walls filled with brittle cracks of hope,
I don’t know who I am or what I will be.
Unconditional
Love is unconditional
Love is the fire in our hearts
And the ice in our brains
Love is the wolves that chase
You through the snow in midnight
Love is the bus that hits you
On the way to work because you’re too
Hypnotised by them to notice
Love is natural
Love is unnatural
Love is Love
That’s all there is to it
Different
We are so different
But yet it feels like we belong together
Is what we feel fake?
Its like we are united by an invisible string
And a magnetic force pulling us
Saying its right
We are so different
But its like we are odd pieces
That fit in percetly together
No matter how many times,
We always come back to each other,
We dont know each other
But it feels like we do
Is what we feel fake?
We are so different
But yet it feels like we belong together
Writer
Maybe im not a good writer
Im just a writer
There are obviously better writers
But im just a writer
I write what I feel,
What I think is beautiful and
Even the random things
That come from my mind
I just write
Everything and nothing at the same time
I just write things,
But I dont know how to label them
Are they poems? Stories?
Novels? Balads? Letters? Diary?
Yes. What are they??
Im just a writer
I just write
The things I write might be good,
They might not be
But I just write
Love Will
Love will befriend you
Love will trick you, manipulate you
Love will test your limits, test your trust
Love will make your heart melt over candle light
Love will slowly kill slicing your heart in two
Love will make you criminally insane
Love will damage your brain
Nothing Lasts Forever
Every time you take a step
The imprint left by your shoes
With worn out soles will fade.
Every day filled with thousands
Of fleeting thoughts are gone in an instant.
The saying “nothing lasts forever ”
Hits like the truck that every passing day
Takes what’s left of the days gone by
That people no longer want or need.
People require a slightly more sophisticated vehicle
But they are finished and useless one day all the same.
Nothing lasts forever.
All the friends you have are slowly leaving.
You have to replace all of them.
Replace all those experiences.
Replace all those memories.
Only for one day the storage container
To break leaving those memories
To melt and disintegrate
Like absolutely everything else.
A Friend Once Said
My friend once said to me
I feel like there’s two people
living inside your head”
There might be. I spent a life
Alone in my head critising and hating,
A boy walks into the class,
Easily the most arrogant self absorbed person
I ever laid eyes on but my god is he beautiful,
He just saw me with my glasses on one voice says.
Of course he did scolds the other
You wear them on your face.
I am consistantly conscious
Of a reflection I don’t like
But theirs another voice inside my head,
She’s reminding me to always be
The beautiful person I am inside and out
The other voice inside my head is her.
And I count myself lucky to hear voices in my head
Conceal
Take harder blows than a missile to your stomach,
Conceal don’t feel,
Ain’t how hard you can get hit,
But how hard you can get hit, strike and keep moving forward,
Vulnerability ?,
What’s that ?,
Attraction in weakness,
Don’t cry on your own shoulder,
Be the shoulder to cry on
Thought you’re your own nationality,
Become Mexican ‘ El Macho’,
Red with the blues,
What’s the deal ?,
Conceal don’t feel
This Girl
Damn, I saw this girl down the street
First glance I passed out
Her smile was outrageously delightful
Her face was glowing like the sun glistens off rock pools at the beach
I was scared to approach as I believe she was out of my league
Her personality brought joyous tears to my eyes
She had me crying like a lil wimp
Sadness Away
I can see your pain.
Fed up with all this.
If i could help you i would.
I would reach into your mind
And take all the sadness away.
Take away the burden.
Take away the hate.
Take away the feelings of loneliness.
Lonely even with friends.
I am here for you.
Even though you won’t talk to me.
I’ll still be here for when you decide to open up.
Until then i wait and watch your silent suffering.
Tip Toeing Across Your Temper
I’m tip toeing across your temper
I don’t trust myself to hold my tongue
I’m staying silent, jaw clenched
I wont show that your words stung
Oh so you’re allowed to sulk and scream
But when i bite back thats too extreme
Stop! think before you speak,
You’re an exception to you’re own rule
Smile! you would look so much prettier if you just smiled
Sit up! all hunched over is so not ladylike
Don’t speak to me like that
You forget you’re place
They Don’t Ask
They’re all out while I’m alone
I had no plans
Not like they’d know
They didnt ask me to come
Wow looks like your having fun
Its not the first time they forgot
They’ll never know that it hurts a lot
Didn’t think it would happen again
Is this what you call being friends
Stand Bare
One foot and then the other
I stand bare
My eyes focused
My fingers clenched
The number appears
I smile
Proud of my self restraint
The next day the routine repeats
One foot and then the other
I stand bare
But this time as the number appears
My eyes well up
Worthless and undeserving
How can my whole world revolve around this one number.
More Rain
Everyone thinks I’m easy going
I can get the girl
Without even knowing
Everyone thinks I know everything
Not me
I don’t think I know anything
I don’t think I’m cool
That I’m good at school
Can show of at the pool
I’m chubby
Hiding in a cubby
Not even funny
All I can do is endure the pain
Here we go
More bloody rain
All These Things
Pointed shoes and ballet flats,
To rugby balls and gumshields,
Pain in the studio,
Or pain on the field
The slap of a hurley,
A box to the face,
Don’t they understand?
All these things should not be defined
To gender or race
Thrashing Waves
I come from the trashing waves that we surf till sun down,
From the old white rib that we drive around.
The girl who obsesses over a fictional tv show boy,
Who is too arrogant to admit she still sleeps with her childhood toy.
I come from running through the streets in the evening with friends,
The laughter and joy and rush of adrenaline.
The girl who talks a little too loud,
Who finds joy sitting in her garden watching the clouds.
I come from Kinsale, a town where i grew,
A town that shaped me into someone new.
Cycle for the Sunrise
Sweet summer air with a chill morning bite,
Pedal away from your worries
The sun peeking up mixing in with the night,
Faster and faster I go
Till it’s just me and the gentle blown breeze
Coming and going in gusts
When I suddenly feel so happy and free
With my worries left back in the dust
Human Cardboard
I can hear the atoms and the protons
I hear the learning outcomes
I can hear the film “hold your own”
I hear the desks and chairs in the next room
I can hear the human cardboard beating heart
I hear the clicking of pens
Inside The Sea
As you will know what pleasure is,
If you never ran a wave.
As you will know what pain is,
If you never cut yourself with a coral.
As you will know what poetry is
If you never saw the sunset
From inside the sea waiting for the last wave.
The Pitch
Stepping onto the pitch the mud crumbling beneath me,
Walking with the team getting ready for battle ,
Willing to fight to the death for your team ,
Every ball and tackle I’ll give it everything ,
I wont stop till the battle is won ,
Dont be a quitter be a fighter ,
Time
Time is fleeting,
The clock is ticking,
The sand on the hourglass is slipping by,
Eleven years, ten years, nine years…,
Each minute we are wasting,
The planet is dying,
We have to help the planet,
Make a change
Empty Promises
The thoughts “i should be used to it”
The absent of solace
Lies lies lies
Something that was broken
Before she even knew
A shatteed relationship
Through and through
Beyond repair
The lingering despair
That shouldn’t be there
As the though crossed her mind again
I should be used to it
Sport
Sport is fear,
Sport is brave,
From the minute the whistle blows,
Your head is in the zone,
From the first strike,
To the winning point,
From one side of the pitch to the other,
The pressure of society,
You need to be fast,
You need to be strong,
You need to be fit
you need to be able to run,
All is somewhat true
But it’s all the fun.
Everyone’s determined.
Everyone’s brave.
We Shall
Wave’s role big as mountain’s battered
The beatings we take are the lessons
We learn burst are the sails of our past
Pushing into the wind only getting us back again
The knock’s come not standing back for this
Now punching into the waves
We shall not go back only on for this
Unfazed
They only appear in the dead of night.
As you walk home from a tough training
They crowd around spitting out insults
But you must remain unfazed.
They are just about old enough to take communion
There’s nothing spiritual about what they are saying.
You must wonder where the parents are in this
The City
Buildings as tall as the sky
Shops on every corner
Young men in full tracksuits
A blade is held in every young man’s hand
A word could get you killed
A look could get you killed
You learn to keep your head down
You become a man soon as you leave the house
When i was young i had dreams
Of becoming a footballer a doctor
How did that become drugs dropping out college
Where i come from the city
The Fishing Boat
Reek of tobacco off of the crew
Endless sea looking out the galley windows
Swaying side to side up and down
Rocking me to sleep
Dreaming of big hauls of fish
Big stacks of cash
Seeing my girlfriend waiting on the pier
For me to unload the fish and come home
Winter Nights
Love is training on the cold winter nights
As snow falls love is the rivalry
Between local teams playing for bragging rights
Love is the brotherhood between your teammates
Fighting until the final whistle.
Beach Walk
I went for walk along to beach,
With all my thoughts in the breeze.
My shoes in the sand as my mind
Repeatedly relives all my past.
The smell of the sea,
My hair in that cold winter breeze,
I slowly drift away and awake from my dream.
School
School can be a pain sometimes
With academic and social pressure
But through all the toughness school has to offer
You will always come out a bit smarter and with new bonds
Blinding Light
From the unbearable blinding light
To the soul comforting heat.
From a deep blood-orange glow
To a suffocating white glare.
From the sickening brightness on a new morning
To the heart-melting beauty of a long days horizon.
Unknown
The wind blows, the water flows,
The waves rise, and fall.
Water spashing with
Nowhere to go,
A big body of water,
That holds the unknown