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To the streets I walk, through the grass meadows
I long for a connection with whom I believe myself to be
Unchanged by those who see as wrong
I’ll be whom this mind and body allows.
My Life In TY
I’m in TY now, and let me tell you, it’s great !!.
I have had so much freedom once I got in TY,
I have learned so much throughout work experience,
I have gained independence, developed skills and tons more .
I have been on a lot of trips, and have even been abroad .
I have learned a lot throughout TY,
I have learned more about reality, and …
I’ve also learned more about myself and
what I’m capable of doing in life.
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I’m here to talk about men’s mental health
This one is something you have never felt
From the age of 11 men start feel sad
Then through the ages it’s gets more mad
Then we think of other things like pollution
But suicidal ain’t the solution.
It’s All The Time
The first time I left my house after lockdown
I was 10 years old. I had never felt men looking
At my body as I walked down the road. Since that
Day, 6 six years ago, all I have ever felt is men
Looking at my body. It’s all the time. I experience
It by myself, with my friends, with my mum, even
With my little sister. I live my life with a strict curfew
Chosen by myself because I’m too afraid to be out in
The dark alone. I don’t feel safe walking four minutes
From my bus stop to my house if it’s after 8pm.
It’s all the time.
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I’m scared to walk alone I’m scared to live to
live alone, I want a person for my life but doesn’t
leave after 5, someone to hold my hand and look
Into my eyes instead of down below where nature
Doesn’t grow someone who will be my ride or die
That will always be there at the right time.
Live
You have to live. You have to survive.
You have gotten this far. You have to
Live. Because if you can, then I can.
If I was born here and now,
And you were born here and now,
And we both are alive at the same time,
Then we have to live.
You have to live.
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I knew the date, my brothers anniversary day,
I don’t remember much, I just let the day play,
I went downstairs and saw my brother,
He was cool and chill, just like the others,
I went downstairs, just to get a snack,
I turned around, and saw his shaking back,
I then froze, and left to say bye,
I then realised, it was the first time I saw him cry.
Just a Man
Growing up as a male in the 21st century, you
Are the villain, you’re a pervert, you are just another
Version of everyone’s lived trauma, and if you’re not,
You’re different, you’re gay and weird and somebody
People tell you “you don’t want to be.” For 4 years, I was
“The gay best friend”, because I was friends with girls.
For 5 years I was “entitled and classist”, because I
Come into school with a smile on my face, and because
I’m confident enough to say the things people
Don’t want to hear. For 15 years, I have been “a villain”,
Because I wear shirts and not dresses, shoes and
Not heels, caps instead of bobbins. I am not a villain,
I am not entitled or classist, I am not the gay best
Friend. I am just a man.
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I’m a man, I’m a guy, masculinity so high,
What future do I have, no path, no way,
Everything is grey. As a woman what do
I have no dreams, no light.
I’m a woman, yes I am, I’m a girl and
That’s not fair. What did I do, why don’t
I bloom. As a man you have it all,
As a woman you’re alone.
Call me what you want, a slut or a whore.
Everything that lowers my glow. Of course
You don’t care, you’re a man. As long as you’re
Safe, the world is okay, But I’m a woman, I’m not
Fine, every praise you get, I get a lie.
A Bit Absurd
There is a big difference between nihilism and absurdism
Both are different sides of a prism
One is to think that life is without meaning
The other is to have fun despite life’s fleeting
I think it is great to be a bit absurdist
To be too serious is a crime to be honest
But being absurdist shouldn’t be indiscriminate
In some scenarios, you should definitely limit it.
Communication
I feel like I always give or say too much
But the feeling isn’t the same I tried to
Open up but I handled it in the wrong way
I feel like I’m by myself every day And that
I thought that one person would take my
Pain away But I came across too obsessed
But I really was just showing my love.
I never wanted to make them upset,
Just to show about how much I cared,
But when you stopped talking to me
It hurt my heart I couldn’t stop thinking
About what I could’ve changed But I don’t
Regret what happened I regret how that
You were sad I never wanted to make you mad
Just trying to show I loved communication
Wasn’t there but there definitely was a spark at
One point, I haven’t lost hope but even just to be
Friends again us talking made me happy, I know
You didn’t feel the same way but maybe if you
Communicate it better. It would help.
Being Perceived
I am more than someone who can give
You a good laugh I believe that I am a
Person that you can depend on and be
Vulnerable with I am strong and “I don’t let
Things bother me” But I am complex and
Complicated too I am emotional and things
Usually do bother me and I am sensitive, even
Though most don’t know that. I am a mess, an
Emotional one, but I hide that part of me because
I don’t know how to be vulnerable or express my
Words, when they’re so clear in mind. I am
Avoidant because I’ve never been given the
Space to be open about my feelings,
Because I am supposedly “strong” even
Though, I don’t feel it almost all of the time.
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When you grow up as a woman you
Learn you have to struggle When also
Grow up queer you learn you have to
Know how to hide and when you feel
Oppression all your life And when you
Protest and gain the rights you should’ve
Had in the first place To them equality
Feels like oppression.
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I came to Ireland for the first time on
January 22 of this year, during 6 months
In Ireland I saw many beautiful places,
Started going to school, made many new
Friends, went to work, and most importantly,
I improved my English.
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I’m scared to walk alone I’m scared to
Live to live alone, I want a person for
My life but doesn’t leave after 5, someone
To hold my hand and look into my eyes
Instead of down below where nature
Doesn’t grow someone who will be my
Ride or die that will always be there at the right time.
Light
There is no light in this world
There’s only light in us boys and girls
If others dim and no longer glow
Their fellows light can can show them the way to go
As long as ones light shines
Our hope inside will never die.
Women
Women are fought
Women are disregarded
Women are bought
Women are disrespected
Women are tough
Because men like to get rough
So let’s fight
And make things right.
I Don’t Know
I don’t know how the world works
I don’t know how other people feel
I don’t know what to say
I don’t know what to do
But maybe
If I open more than just my eyes
And see with more then myself
My perception of it all will change
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Outside is shining,
Inside it’s raining.
Inside it’s you,
Outsides an act,
You try be like everyone else,
You kind of forget how to be yourself.
Men
Violence, Authority, Dominance
Normalisation They Feel Fear and
Fury Towards Freedom Don’t be
Yourself Don’t be different Don’t be
Unique Be like everyone else If everyone
Follows each other, nobody is real.
They are all Fake carbon copies of
One another.
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I don’t know what to say but I learned
A lot of things in a different way of looking
At some things.
Totally
We all know everything we need to,
We just can’t bring ourselves to do it.
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When life’s tough and harsh and you see
Yourself reflecting the figures of your past,
And go I’m not living up to the hype, this
Brings me to my shattered past , take a
Break and realise there’s beauty in the broken parts.
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To the third parents,
The older siblings..
And the pain you carry,
The burden and responsibility.
You have been forced to grow,
But your life, a childhood they owe.
So don’t forget even the emotions your bury,
That there is still always room to cry.
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You remained bright
Even when the world feels dark
You broke out of the barrier
And found a way out
Your a free spirit now
Not held down by your own anxieties
Just know to always be yourself
And remember you shine above your past.
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The cooling air rushes down my back
Goosebumps rise as I feel the chase
Beady eyes watching me like its snack
Dressed all in black I can barely see a face
I hear his shoes getting closer, clack, clack
My heart speeds up and so does my pace
The climax of the moment tenses me up
As I tremble as small as a pup
This incident changes my thoughts
Its burned into my brain like chilli sauce
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I grew up in a small house
With loud doors and quiet truths.
Mam worked late,
And Dad was a name
People stopped talking.
The streets were rough,
And friends were few,
So I learned early
How to stand alone
And keep moving forward.
Answers
All look for answers,
Of which are answered like dancers,
Who dance around the truth,
Due to a lack of proof.
Yet the answers we still preach,
To pretend clarity is within our reach.
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Growing up black in Ireland resulted
In all sorts of altercations, screaming
Matches, and observations. You learn
To realise who’s your friend and who just
Wants a “token black friend” or an “N word pass”
Or an excuse to make racist jokes and
References while being able to defend
Themselves know a black person.
People want to touch my hair, know where
I’m “actually from”, and prove that I’m actually
Irish. I’m just as Irish as an elderly white man
Named Patrick, or a white teenage girl named
Saoirse. People never ask where St. Patrick was
“actually from” when, in reality, he was a British
Man who came over and colonised Ireland.
The difference that people recognise between
Me and him is the fact that he was a white man,
And I’m just a mixed race teenager who will never
Be “Irish enough” and I will never be as safe as
A white elderly man named Patrick or a white
Teenage girl named Saoirse. People will
Continue to cross the road to avoid me,
People will continue to usher their children
Away from me, and people will continue to
Ask me where I’m “actually from” and tilt their
Heads like confused dogs when I answer “Dublin”.