My experience of being bullied.
they laugh at me in the hallway loud
I feel like I’m stuck in a never ending cloud
my face looks red and puffy, they point and stare
My dad tells me I shouldn’t care
I try walk fast but the floor feels slow
All I want to do is crouch down low
words hit me harder then any fists do
teachers see but what can they do
I say I’m fine but the lie is big
my chest feel small, my head feels big
tomorrow maybe I’ll be less “me”
Maybe someday they will appreciate the real me
Until I can say I matter too,
I’ll keep breathing, just to prove.
This isn’t something we should excuse,
Bullying is harm we cannot choose.
If you see someone being bullied, I hope they aren’t a “weirdo” like me,
Because not even my friends would stand by me.
Stand up for others, don’t let them fall alone,
Tomorrow isn’t promised, and they might not make it home.
Poetic Structures Don’t Make Sense
I took the time to write about random things in my head that I don’t usually get to think of because I’m supposed to focus on the lesson. I guess being me comes with small concise social interaction and bitches talking behind your back, homophobes you don’t expect to be homophobes and a weird desire to be alone yet around others constantly I have no idea what I’m supposed to be writing.
Until
The world seems so big until you condemn it down to small.
Your problems feel endless until you stem them from one.
Your neighbour appears different until you connect as one.
A Rose
It’s not often you see a rose that is wilted and worn amongst a field of pretty flowers
Flowers that are a common favourite
Without fault, they capture the limelight
But imperfection is a knife, for a rose without thorns will always be someone’s favourite
Tough Shift
A tough shift deep in the Wooden Spoon,
Feet aching hard, it’s late too soon.
Hands smell of fire, oil, and sweat,
The kind of work you don’t forget.
Plates keep coming, no time to breathe,
Heat in my face, pain in my sleeves.
Orders flying, sharp and fast,
Every minute crawling past
Keeper hill
As much as I love keeper hill
The city runs through my blood
While the river runs all but still
The sea of people spreading mud
Compared to the green nature of my prior home
I now look around and know how I should’ve shone.
Change
I hate how I can’t take what I give
it makes me question how I live
I hate how I judge others
for things I hate about myself
I hate how I feel alone
even when I should feel at home
I hate how there’s negativity
that hasn’t been changed into positivity
Escape
The place where I can escape
To be the true me
From warmup to kicky ups
the highlight of them hard school classes
to premier league passes
where I don’t have to pretend
when I don’t want training to end
Sometimes
I love school,
But sometimes I hate it,
It’s nobody’s fault,
It’s just how they made it.
Friends make it fun
Learning makes it bum
But the rules are bananas
And just seem to drain me
I love
I have 6 friends in my friend group,
I love them all but they smell of poop
I love my school,
but I hate the rules
And I hate boys,
but I love the noise
I love sports,
But sometimes they drain me,
I still choose to play them,
Even though they break me
Shhhh…
It could have been avoided.
SHHHHHHHHHH.
We don’t care, they say.
Whispers contradict that.
I sit at home doing nothing.
Texting is too hard.
Friendships form others fizzle.
To be in a group is worse than to be alone.
SHHHHHHHHHHH.
From & To
From the GAA pitch to the kitchen side mess, from the school day dilemma to the who’s making dinner drama, from the visits to family to the who’s calling to Nana, from the I’m not going to the why can’t I go, from the i can’t do this to the thank goodness for this
There is nothing
My life isn’t that bad if I was to count the opportunities I had.
If I was to count the people that cared deeply instead of the people that look at me nearly.
If I was to complain about random things only to realise there is nothing.
Sometimes I feel scared to be myself.
I enter a room of people and I lose all confidence. But when I’m with friends and family I get that back I feel better in myself. I have a bigger want to be a good person. I feel less anxious when I’m with people I love and doing things I love. I love being in nature and being around animals but I’ve told that to very few people. I’m afraid I’ll be mocked for it. I feel calm when I’m playing sports but then I make a mistake and I go back to feeling terrible. When I feel anxious I feel more likely to respond with annoyance. I’m meaner to people, I’m dismissive towards people that are trying to help me and I lock myself away for no good reason
Liars
men are liars
they set your heart up on fire
I was the board and you were the dart
Can’t even afford effort
men are liars
I hate
I hate when my jokes don’t hit
I hate when I say something mean unintentionally
I hate rude people
I hate people who don’t change for the better
I hate hateful people
I hate miscommunication
I hate selfish people
But most of all I hate hate
Whistle
When I hear the whistle in my ear
I go at it with no fear
I think about how I could’ve put it over the bar
While pretending to not care in the car