Blurred Tears
I come form city streets and far away farms with dogs and cats and Geese
I come from narcissism and racism and hard pulling hair and bruised wrists
I come for burning caravans and religious school and Sunday church mass
I come form alcoholics and and drug addicts and shots vodka without the cola
I come from secret weed rooms and smoking
In the the house and in the car
I come form sexists and unapologetic jokes about my certain body parts
I come form manual labor and underage jobs
With many missed school days
I come form tears and parenting my sisters and plain bagged Mac and cheese
I come snakes form school and empty friges and log car ride chips with fizzy drinks
I come from drinking and smoking and my first vape at school and vision dots
I come from slit thighs and my frist failed suicide attempt in the near by shed
I come from missed vaccines and dentist appointments with untreated injuries
I come form sleepless weeks and daydreams to much caffeine in my blood stream
I come from tear blurred eyes and bathroom panic attacks with shattered mirrors
I come from dissociation through school and
And doodling in class to pass time
I come from hand-me-downs and unwashed clothes and cruel Wispers at my back
I come from missed dinners and breakfast and and once a while snaks at lunch
I come from intoxicated driving and rage filled fists and minor car clashes
I come from fleeing country’s and Ferrysburg and police and Garda safety checks
I come from government Wellfere and almost 20 year of fleeing from social services
I come uninsulated metal walls on wheels and secret Wallfere calls in all forms
I come from court mandatory rehoming and then nice, warm, safe foster Homes.
Shakespeare was right
I think Shakespeare was right about one thing:
Love
And I know we shouldn’t take advice from a dead, sexist, upper class,white guy about what love feels like for a teenage girl like me but I think he was right, just a little bit, about falling in love the first day you met.
Maybe I’m just a romantic, but I think we’re over complicating it because why do we have to wait 3 months to say “I love you”? Why is that what google says to do? I think Shakespeare was right and Romeo and Juliet aren’t just a fiction of love at first sight, I think love happens everywhere.
Love isn’t rare. You don’t have to wait three months hiding something already there. Maybe I’m just a romantic, but Shakespeare was right about love.
He was.
As i sit and think
As I sit with my thoughts
I think about my failures
How I fail to to make the most of life
Instead I waste life and waste time
As I stare at the board
I think of my identity
How I doubt myself
And how I don’t want to share myself
As I sit at my desk
I think about my worth
How I lack worth
How I will never be anything more then plain
And as i lay in bed
I think about the future
How i will end up as just another worthless speck
To be forgotten after death having made no impact
A list
If everybody feels different,
Is anyone different at all?
Or are we just the same group of teens,
Who are terrified of where they’ll fall
On the scale that we call living?
Are we tall, or fat, or pretty?
Are we into all things sport?
Or are we a bookworm who’s witty?
Where do I fall on this scale?
Am I even on it?
Or is my social presence so frail,
That no one will care if I am’nt
Maybe I’m the average lane
Not the prettiest,
But not the most plain.
Maybe I don’t care.
Maybe I don’t think it’s fair
To label ourselves like this
Maybe we should destroy this list.
Spirals
From the sleepless nights
To the tired eyes
From the empty house
To the filled school halls
From the anxious thoughts
To the built up walls
From the happy girl
To the scared woman
From the teethy smile
To the silent cries
From the love for food
To the fear of it
From the big blue eyes
To the empty ones
From the loneliness
To the greatest friends
From the depth of sadness
To the acceptance of love
From the unknown future
To the love for life and the people I know
Life is my new found favourite thing.
The Mirror
I stare in the mirror
In the small on-suite,
Wondering why I throw on
This disguised sheet
Three years in a school
With barely any friends
Two months into my third year
And I have my first girlfriend
The lads never knew
who I was until her
They claimed we were buds
But buds we weren’t
Suddenly everyone was my mate
I was never more happy
I knew it would end
it would be my fate
She was gone just before The beginning of summer
I still remember her fragrance
Her touch her smile
The way she’d move my world
The new school year starts
And I’ve still my new friends
I’ve only known them a year
But they’re my brothers till the the end.
Fear
Fear is like a load gun
pointed at you
You can run or hide
but it will always find you
But if you stand you ground
You will realise
That it is often unloaded.
Distractions
I usually try to spend my days
trying to get my mind to wonder
about different things other than you.
I distract myself with going out with friends
and listening to music on blast nearly destroying my ear drums.
But if i loose that focus it all comes back to you.
The memories of being able to talk to you.
Laugh about stupid stuff that we did that day,
I miss it.
Having to watch you from across the class
not being able to start conversations anymore.
The worst part was that you never knew the feelings,
to me it wasent in a “friend way” to me it was more.
But you never knew.
Reflections
From the tallest to the smallest
From the biggest to the thinnest
To the needy by the greedy
We are all one
Whether you are gay or straight
Glad or sad do something to help someone
We all live on a rock in the middle of space
So what’s the point of a mask instead of your face.
Everyone tries to be someone their not
They’ll say something they regret and that’s how they’re caught
Sitting alone wondering in their kip
“Why’d I say that? Tryna be hip”
From day to night
From night to day
I am strong
I am brave
For no one knows the pain
Through all the sorrow
Through all the pain
I’m still here
I’m still standing
I hope
To live in the biggest house
Swim in the biggest pool
I hope to run from my problems
And leave this bloody school
I hope to be in massive movies
And stand with movie stars
I hope to own luxuriously things
And drive in fancy cars
I hope to rule the world
And have a perfect life
With eleven children
And a lovely wife
I hope to go to lots of countries
And try all sorts of food
I hope to meet all types of people
And try not to be rude
I hope to do exciting things
That never have been done
I hope to enter competitions
And come out number one
I hope I stay the same
And still have all my friends
I hope you liked the poem
But now it is the end
A dream to be
i have a wish to play in croke park and drive home in the dark, win or lose keep your head held high.
i have a wish to be the player lifting a cup with my brand new pup.
i have a wish to win a county final, to be the best team shining like a beam
Trapped inside
A prison slowely rotting
I scream into the blue
But nothing leaves
Shards of glass cover the floor
Showing a twisted reflection of myself
I pray to be reborn
Yet wake again still bound by this image
I beg to be myself
Yet am still seen as a boy
Mistaken and frustrated
I crawl back to the shadows
Waiting to be free.
Worry oh worry
You cloud my mind ,
But I will not let you control my time ,
For you are a force that takes only from todays peace,
Yet tomorrows problems will still remain
So from you I shall obstain and dwell on only what I can explain.
Worry oh worry , my mind is free
Small House
From the small house in the estate to the large country house
From the cramped city apartment to the tall french building
From the top floor of the hot apartment block to the family home
These are the places I’ve grown up, the places I’ve laughed, the places I’ve cried and the places I’ve learned.
But none of these places felt right, none were my dream house
But all of these places held my mom, the person who raised me, who laughed with me, cried with me and learned with me.
I would travel far and wide to any place with my mom and they would all feel like home with her.
This is a girl
Who blames herself
I am aware it is not my fault
This is a girl who is without a father , no explanation
This town is tough
be better , be stronger
if you do not, stay home.
Everyone judges , no care for your feelings
Stay strong or stay home.
Keeper Hill
From the heights of keeper hill to the lows of the ball alley,
From playing handball to drinking in the valley,
From grafting in the streets
And sleeping in my sheets
Age 16 now we are breaking locks
Got 2.20 now I’m robbing shops.
From hobbies to looks
Or clothing and books,
I want to make my own choices
But then I’m scared of the voices.
The voices that come from the people,
the people who make fun of others,
Forgetting that we should all be sisters and brothers.
When I choose what to do or how to dress
It’s not to impress,
Not for the people I know or strangers
It’s for me to live now,
And it’s hard to know how.
I come from
The countryside of Tipp
I go to school in the town and play for the
Soccer club.I enjoy chatting to the lads
But I do not enjoy doing the work in class.
I come from a team that don’t win trophies but
We play like we’re always in a final.We have the crack in school and enjoy every day
That is where I come from
I come from a place
Where final hasn’t been won
But every time the journey is still fun
The ups and downs
The lefts and rights
Sleeplessness nights
Thinking about winning
Not a thought about the experience but
Looking back it’s the experience that had me grinning
Could this be a point of change
It is something that I couldn’t gauge.
I come from
The family that thought me how to act I come from the town that I grew up in the people that I’m around I come from my friends and teachers I come from the games I play, the sports I’m involved in in I come from the experiences that are my own I come from the crack and funny I have in school
That is where I come from
This is sport
The harsh weather
When each team thinks there better
This is sport, the players shouting
Coaches counting,
This is sport, the times coming for this match to end
Which team will win will be the better team
This is sport, the thing we love
And the thing that won’t be forgotten
This is sport, what a game.
I come from a place
that I would never replace the feilds are green and there are few cars on the streets but there are still a lot of people who are easy to meet and easy to greet I enjoy my place but sometimes I wonder how life would be If lived somewhere elese for better or worse I’ll never know
I come from my parents
Who raised me well.
They thought me all i know and all that I tell.
I come from my town where I was taught and played sport, I was shown how to play well so I could prosper elsewhere.
I come from place of joy that were filled with love and support were I was given reason to pursue in my sport.
My mother played basketball too and showed me what to do, from there I developed and played for Munster. So basketball continued and took over my life so I trained every and every night. I played and played until my fingers bled and it led me to here waiting to try for Ireland and make my family feel joy. Although I didn’t make it they said they were proud and believed in me all the way through so I hope one day I can make my dreams come through.
The Greatest Man Of Burgess
He’s the soundest man, who owns a van,
the greatest man of Burgess,
The best of all, who loves to ball,
he knows the way to urge us,
He loves to joke, he wants the smoke,
he’s hotter then a furnace,
He’s the soundest man who owns a van,
the greatest man of Burgess.
I’m come from Rea
Where der is never a bad day
In the middle of hills and trees
Where their is a load of bees
Every day is an enjoyment
Where der is no disappointment
We have a road
Dat can carry a big load
But the best place of all is coonmore
Where der is always people on the shore
Just a Word
I grew up thinking love was just a word
A word said by people who chose to be together for the rest of their lives,
I always wondered why.
As I grew up I understood more about love,
Love for my family, love for my friends but also love for a special someone.
I never really knew what love was until I met them,
They showed me that love isn’t just a word..
It’s a feeling, a feeling that lasts a very long time,
A feeling that you don’t ever want to lose and a feeling you want to share with your favourite person.
everyone thinks
They’re the best,
but really they’re like the rest,
i always try to smile but sometimes it might take awhile,
my favourite food is a chocolate bar from spar
My love for Christmas
Standing under the mistletoe
With a big red bow
Playing in the snow
Going with the flow
When the snow goes the love glows.
I come from the hills
Where we hide our wills
It’s a place full of enjoyment
Where the people are full of disappointment
But at the end of the day
We pave a pathway
For the future of our generation
Sports are thrilling
Full of zest,
Competing with your very best.
From the court to the field, we play,
Unleashing our passion, every day
Hello I’m Amy
What’s up guys
I come from ballinahinch
And I have blue eyes
Something about me that you
Don’t realise is that I’m the best
there is no test
Thanks for listening see you soon
I love you all the way to the moon
Happily Never After
A girl, who only ever dreamed of finding a love as true and loyal as the ones you see in the Disney movies.
Where Cinderella found her Prince Charming and lived happily ever after.
That is the dream she once had. She’s 16 now and love is as fragile as a bull in a china shop, it’s scarce.
There is no finding your Prince Charming There’s only young boys who want to add another girl to their collection but she’ll keep dreaming for her happily every after.
Farming
The seasons come and go
the long hours are put in
our food comes from
where your milk is from
This is farming
Hurling
is great
it makes me feel good
up and down
the pitch
and scoring
My name is
My name
And I’m from killoscully
Such a place full of money
Watch it on tv and it will fill you in on the tea
I live on keeper hill
And I’m going from the kill
See the bug
on the rug
I will give his legs a tug
See him run see him go
He did not like it, no! no!
See him hop, on the mop
See him hide, make me stop
I will stop, I will not tug
You are safe, little bug
Ballinahinch
I live near a stream
The water gleams
The fields are green
It is a dream