Photographs
They say time heals a broken heart
But I don’t think that’s true
Because it’s been ten months since you left me
And I can’t get over you
And I’m looking at you in photographs
But I can’t feel the same
Because the way you made me feel
Cant be captured within a frame
Every time I close my eyes
All I see is you.
It’s hard to move from day to day
When I’m not living what is true.
Because i fell in love
With the one whose no longer there
But I still can hear your messages
Your whispers in the air
I don’t want a world without you
I know I can’t have you here it’s true
But I know what I should do
I’ll learn to live without you.
Good Night Sweet Dreams
As the lyre sung
The young bard said
Good night, sweet dreams
It’s time for bed.
The anger of the village
Soon melted away
As the song swept
The night away.
Alone on the mountain
The young bard said
Good night, sweet dreams
It’s time for bed
Who I Am
For who I am I do not know,
I cannot be who I want to be
At home they know a different song
They simply just sing to me
My chosen family know me right
But there’s a different me seen at night
Alone and cold knowing less
Being judged on how I chose to dress
Each song sung is a different story,
Expression in its finest state.
Taking The Lead
I feel worthless because of you
You can’t do anything might as well give up the fight’
Fighting daily with my own mind
‘Mind your own business but I bet their talking bout you’
You don’t know when enough is enough
‘Enough of the pity just shut up and focus on me ‘
I just need to focus on me
New beginning are all that I need
‘Needy untalented, just disappointed in you ‘
Clear my conscience I’ll take the lead
Why aren’t you listening ? ‘
‘Why aren’t you listening ?’
So send your regards to the woman
You claimed to have loved,
Because she’s long gone
I let you get to me unaware
Of the things you had done
That’s not my fault
With every new lie
A new part of me dies
So just know you have lost me forever
And I don’t know where to begin with you
When you ask why am I leaving you.
I Smile
My soul is beautiful.
It hides behind my blonde locks
And hazel heterochromia eyes.
My body is covered with stretch marks
And my skin turns a plume red with spots.
But inside is where the real beauty lies!
I’m a caring figure to my five siblings,
I’m intelligent and I love to sing.
I’m loyal to my friends and I understand their pain.
I never make them uncomfortable or ashamed.
I smile from ear to ear with positivity behind my mask,
I try my utmost best with every task.
I live life to the fullest with no regrets,
These are but a few of my greatest assets.
I don’t concave into societies image of perfection,
I’m unapologetically myself
I’m satisfied in my skin.
My soul is beautiful.
Brilliance is within.
The Sky
We stare at the sky while it rains and wish for sun
As the rain trickles down our face
We don’t appreciate or acknowledge it
We curse the sky for making us sick and getting us wet
But the sky isn’t the problem
We have hats and scarfs
We have a roof over our head
We have umbrellas
But all we can seem to think of is how we wish
The sun would come out and the rain would go away
Maybe the sky’s not the problem
Maybe our brains are
We can’t change the sky
But we can change how we think
Summer
The birds singing
The smell of the fresh ocean breeze
The sun glaring on my face
My sun kissed skin
As brown as a berry
Feeling as fresh as the air around me
The breeze flowing through my hair effortlessly
The feeling of hot sand between my feet
The laughter and joy of the crowd
The clattering of our drinks as we cheer to now
This, this is summer.
My Friend The Monster
Each morning I wake the same,
Roll to my left and feel the pain
My old friend the monster appears with no shame
Their frame expecting a welcoming exclaim
This monster is seen by my lone soul
It’s shadow foreboding a darkening day
Still every morning when I rise
I find comfort in their eyes
My monster is unforgiving,
It enjoys force feeding my mind lies
But each morning as I wake
My friend the monster is forever waiting by my side
Love Will
Love will laugh at you,
Love will make you spiral in you own insanity
It will have you admitted to the institution
As if your dependence relies on its addiction
Love will consume you
Love will leave,
Like everything in life, love is not a constant
Love will use you for its own
Love is just a feeling,
Is our love even real
Not Alone
I’m sitting here, staring into space thinking
If I stare hard enough something will fall
Out of the sky and land on my lap. An opportunity,
A chance, an exciting adventure waiting to happen.
Something or someone to knock on my door, but nothing.
All I have right now is myself, but I’m not alone.
I have my thoughts, my worries, my hopes and dreams.
My ambitions and talents are lying on the floor
All I need now is a little courage, bravery,
To not be scared. Do something, anything. Anything at all.
Just go for it. Where you’re going there’s no perfection needed.
Teddy Bear
I can’t throw it away, I can’t let it go.
It takes up space leaving no room to grow,
But I can’t let it go.
The teddy’s from years ago sit on my bed
The toys I had are stacked in my shed
Doing nothing but collecting dust.
You can throw it out if u must….
There’s something little in everything
That makes me need it there.
It mightn’t seem fair to just let it collect dust
But the comfort it provides is more then I care to share.
You can’t throw it out I need it there.
I can’t let what feels like childhood disappear into the air.
Best Years
They say these are supposed to be the best years of our lives
That we should be out there trying new things and taking them in our stride
They expect us to have it all figured out at the age of sixteen
Careers
Partners
Identity
How we’re supposed to feel
They say these are supposed to be the best years of our lives
So why do I feel like I’ve wasted them worrying and lying awake at night?
Two Faced
We were such good friends , Almost made amends
Cant believe I tried to blame myself
You never made much sense
Cause what we’re your intents
When you already had somebody else
You know you’ve been lying , betraying
God you’re so two faced
Face sorry won’t work for me this time
You knew I was happy , finally
But you took it all away from me
Did you think you’d planned the perfect crime ?
I know , you don’t want me to go
So why did you hurt me so ?
Now I hope that you care
when you need me but I’m not there
Numb
I watched in fear of what I might become
Four years gone by still feeling numb
If I do what you say am I better or worse
If I say what you do will it get better or worse
Even when it’s over it never ends
They tell you it gets better but never how slow it happens.
A Normal Feeling
My dad died and i thought i would feel sad,
I thought i would feel empty and heartbroken
Loosing a parent is supposed to be sad and heartbreaking
But it wasn’t, not for me. I didn’t care and
I know i should have but he was never in my life so why should i care?
He didn’t care about me or maybe he did
But god knows he didn’t show it but i’ve realized
It’s normal not to care it’s normal not to feel anything.
It’s normal to feel numb.
Welcome
Welcome to the harsh reality of this cold world
We’re your herded like sheep but lord help you
if you don’t match the rest we’re your praised for
Unhumanising your peers and partaking in trouble
Welcome to a place we’re you can never let your mask fall
We’re your guard must always be up
Welcome to the harsh world of not fitting in and
Having to face daily struggles silently.
Welcome to the world of an autistic teen
I Love You
When my world was caving in you left me
But little did i know you were fighting
A battle much bigger than mine
I was only a child and you were my mum
I thought you’d stick by me always,
After all that’s what a mother is supposed to do.
I now realise i was too young, too dumb
To see the strength you possessed to fight the cancer
And stay with me. you’re the bravest woman i know.
I love you
Soon Will Come
Love will make you hate you
Love will make close friends sly
Love makes people fake and makes people lie
Love will make time stop almost like a coma
It will make you angry and give you loads of trauma
They’ll break your heart you’ll break your own
You’ll be ok someday but lonely and alone
It can make you speechless and hard to understand
So much overthinking your thoughts expand
Hard to think hard to focus it’s all that’s on your mind
In your head you know, soon it will all be left behind
A mumble and a whisper
Here we go again
Soon will come the tears
Just like a stream of rain
Reality
Sometimes i find it hard to know the things I love
I love the things I am taught to love
From education to sports to hobbies
I’ve tried everything trust me but none ever stuck
I never really learned to love them because I felt I was forced
I see people around me and they all
Have an escape through the things they love but I’m trapped
I love to paint though and listen to music
I love to read
I love the way I lose a sense of reality even for two minutes
The Morning After
A land away from others
A place of my own
The mind of my mother
My father for a tone
Lying in bed my thoughts astray
I wake up confused, what happened yesterday
Summer Is Near
Summer is three months away..
Three months until having no school all day,
The sun shining down from the clear blue sky
Beaming down on us where we all lie,
Spending our days at the beach, as happy as can be
Tanning, playing football and swimming in the sea.
The only stress is making sure i’m home for dinner,
Or hoping in football that i’m the winner.
I can’t wait for the day until i can say summer is here,
But until then i keep in my mind that it is very near.
Free
I cannot wait for the day when summer isn’t so far away
When school and worries are left astray
And it’s sun and sea and simply being free
But for the moment all I can do
Is think about summer and say I miss you
Humans
Humans are animals,
Humans strive for life,
Humans need to be strong,
Humans live on adrenaline.
In the end, we break down,
We are disappointed,
But we should be proud
Say Thank You
Instead of saying sorry
Say thank you
Instead of saying “sorry for being late”
Say Thank you for waiting for me
Because just by saying Thank you
It will make that person good.
Me
From Autumn to Winter,
From Spring to Summer,
From black to white,
From dirty to clean,
From rain to sun,
From dark to light,
Forever I am me.
A Love
I want a love with no ties
I want a love without lies
I want a love that won’t die
Is that love a lie
Thoughts
I sit here with my pen and paper
Unsure what to write about
What’s special about me, how am I unique?
Thoughts race and whirl around my head
But I still have no start, middle or end.
Forgiven
Be forgiven
Always Be forgiven
Don’t hold the past because
That will always be pain to you
A Shadow
They want to see you do good, but never do better
They smile to your face but will pull a knife
Behind your back,Their jealousy builds me stronger by day
Though I’m still affected by the things they say,
These people are around you following you
Like a shadow unseen in the dark doing things we don’t know.
The Guest Speaker
A guest speaker with witty humour
Laughter infects you like a tumour
His voice a mix of Limerick and London
In days gone by he was called a gunman.
Opposites
Bing and bong, bong and bing.
They love to play, they love to sing .
They met in the mercy
And like to eat Percy. (pigs)
They love the sesh
But tend to wake up not so fresh.
One has curly hair, one has straight
Opposites attract, that’s why they’re so great.