How Are You?
How are you?
How am I?
I am.
Materialised claustrophobia suffocating in silence,
Materialised acrophobia falling from the heavens,
Materialised hydrophobia drowning in the murky, watery depths,
Materialised arachnophobia tangled in an inescapable, wicked web of lies,
Materialised hemophobia dripping in scarlet coloured liquid,
But I’ll fearlessly reply,
Stating my assured sanity,
Hopelessly trying to convince myself of the lie,
To escape the truth and subsequent calamity,
That I am fine,
Even when I’m not at all,
When I last was,
I can’t even recall.
“The R Word”
I was 15 when I found out.
“15 years too late” is what
My mother said when we
Received that all-important
Letter of diagnosis.
You could argue that a
Diagnosis isn’t that important
Since it gives you a label and
“Labels are just for clothes”.
But it’s important to me, because
Now I finally know why I get anxious
When I make eye-contact or
Why I get overwhelmed when
There’s too many people talking around me.
Now I know why kids would call
Me slurs in the primary school
Playground when I
Couldn’t understand the game rules.
I am disabled.
I am someone who has
“Special Abilities” and needs
“Extra supports”.
But I’m still human.
You can call me the
R-Word all you want.
You can make fun of me
For stimming and for
Hating certain textures
All you want.
But at the end of the day,
I am human.
Sometimes
Sometimes in life
We go through strife
We stumble
We fall
But it’s important to know
You’ll get through it all
You’ll overcome fear
And begin to grow
When Can I?
‘Boys will be boys’ our elders say
They can pull your hair and call you names but you can’t retaliate
BE MATURE
BE A LADY
They say
But when do I get to act like a fool
Act like a ‘boy’
Act like my age instead of an old woman
When can I walk at night without keys as a weapon
Or be able to have respect in a room full of deep voices?
When can I act like a boy?
The Sun will Shine
Once this pandemic is over,
I will live the life I am told about,
The good and bad things,
Each new experience is an adventure,
The sun will shine, the birds will sing,
Life will be normal and we can resume things.
Feelings
I feel happy alone but alive with friends
I feel sad when my favourite character dies but sadder some of the time
I feel at home with family with also with a book
I feel pride when I create something nice but shame when I remember moments in time
But most of all I feel content for the rest of my life is yet…
When will Our Teenage Years be Back
One day back in March, our lives changed.
Masks everywhere schools shut Netflix obsessions TikTok trends going viral online school
What is going on here we all thought.
We could hear the birds singing animals mooing with less cars on the road.
We stay inside to help people on the frontline and support each other through this tough time.
Thinking of when things will get back to normal is all we do.
Thinking of summer the sun the fun we will have, football matches, beaches, friends and no school.
Its been a whirlwind of year but we can do this we just need to have hope.
I Want
I work hard
I am determined
And I definitely do not quit
But what about if this is not enough
I want to grow up having done something
I want to walk into a room without introduction and have everybody know my name
I don’t want to live my life by just existing
I want to have done something great
I don’t want fame
I just want people to know my name
The Little Things
From staying up all night
To sleeping in all day
From watching the same movies over and over
To blasting the same songs over and over
From warm summer nights to brisk winter mornings
From spinning my vinyl to listening to Billy Idol
From the warm sand beneath my toes to finally getting new clothes
Enjoy the little things
Online Learning
Online learning is a bust.
It is terribly hard to adjust.
Days spent all day in my bedroom.
I’d rather be with my friends in a classroom.
Juggling an amount of work in our hands.
Because it is in such demand.
Oh I can’t wait till this lockdown is done.
Hopefully when we go back there is nice sun.
Daily Chores
I eat my porridge that looks like gruel
Knowing I’m going to miss the school bus
Because it comes so early which is just cruel
I sneak through the school halls with my head down
Only to slip on a bag and now looking like a clown
I prop myself up with the help of my hand
To stop me from falling asleep in this boring class I don’t understand
Once the bell rings I’m gone out the door
But never satisfied knowing I’ve to go home and do my chores