Time
As we drive down this long and winding road, dad,
I cannot stop the sadness from filling my stomach
I listen to your bright and hearty laugh,
As our happy voices sing along to Garth Brooks
Time is moving too fast dad,
The floorboards are creaking,
My hair is growing
And the flowers are dying.
I know I will look back at this blissful moment in painful jealousy
How much time is left dad?
Is it possible to miss the present?
In the Vast Sky
In the vast sky,
The colour is a blue dye
Among the line
Is where the sun shine
Distant memories can sometimes hurt
But look at you now, you are still here
Standing still under the starry night sky
Reaching for the stars, yet you stumble
One day you shall make it and it would be worth it
So, keep striving for those dreams my friend
The Storm in the Bay
The window is covered in condensation,
And protects me from the air outside,
That whips around and blows the trees,
And flies along the stormy seas.
The clouded sky sends darkness down,
And makes the day seem like it’s not around,
The thunder rumbles far away,
And lightning flickers in the bay.
The tinkle of a flag forgotten,
Upon a flagpole sounds aloud,
It’s calling out to be let down,
But no-one helps, so it will drown.
The rising waters near the shore,
And threaten to show us Atlantis,
I hope the sandbags are tall enough
So the threat of drowning, they will snuff.
I’m Not Listening to You
I’m not listening to you when you tell you try to tell me that I’m a f*gg*t,
That I should wear pink and lust after guys whose only interest in me is that I have double d’s
I’m not listening when you tell me I should be in the kitchen,
When you tell me, ‘you’ll want kids one day’
I’m not listening when you tell me I know nothing just because I’m 16,
Because I’m a woman,
Or in male terms – a bitch.
I’m not listening to you when you tell me that girls are less horny,
And that ‘boys will be boys’
Adults like to think that they’re smart
But they’re not.
They’re so deep in the cycle of misinformation and internalised male gaze
That they actually believe that men are ‘naturally less mature’
But by telling this narrative they only repeat the cycle more
See kids who ‘know nothing about the world’ because they’re ‘too young to understand’
Actually do know everything
But the adults don’t listen
In my Heart
The first people who knew me
And offered me all their love
Now are far from me.
No matter the distance in between us
And how far apart you are
Always you are going to be in my heart.
I miss them.
It’s horrible to dream with them,
Of those who have raised you
And suddenly wake up without them
In a room that is not yours and without a good morning greeting.
I hope to have them close to me again
And can offer my best simile.
For that there are only the slowest 4 months of my life again.
I love them. See you soon.
‘Doors’
Smiling, chatting, laughing all day ,
Everyone knows you’re a pure sunshine ray,
But what they don’t is that behind closed doors,
Is a million mind, body and life flaws.
They don’t know that family drama,
The divorce and manipulation that caused you trauma,
The popular kids who would bully you,
And now all your insecurities you hold due to.
But they’ll never know what’s behind closed doors.
Smile
Tall, blue eyes, blonde hair and doing an exchange year,
But let me tell you something dear.
My life isn’t that easy as it seems,
Maybe in your dreams.
I am struggling about myself every single day,
My problems aren’t going away.
Am I friendly enough, pretty enough, strong enough,
Spinning in my head as important stuff.
Waking up every morning asking the same question,
But here is the lesson.
Being loved, happy and healthy,
That’s real wealthy.
Smile is the most important thing you can do,
So please let other people smile too.
Our Generation
Welcome to our generation
This is where our teens are always high,
Our youth wants to die and
Everyone is too hard to satisfy
Two worlds collide between the rich and poor
Everything is about race
Nothing more
Comparison, comparison all the time
Where girls are too thin or too fat for mens’ liking
We make up excuses to hide our fears
Because our feelings are never valid here
So this is our generation,
You’re more than welcome
But beware it’s not,
it’s not a picture perfect screen
Unrequited Love
When I first started school
I thought everybody would make me a fool
But the moment I laid my eyes on you,
You showed me what the power of love can do
When the brightness of the sun’s rays caress your ebony black hair,
My oh my does it look ever so fair
Every moment spent with you is a bliss
That I would live for your smile and even die for your kiss
But when I heard you didn’t feel the same way for me
I was as sad as the whole world can ever be
But even if it’s unrequited love
You’re still a beautiful angel sent from above
Why?
Why did nobody tell me the truth about growing up?
It’s the constantly needing to build our self-confidence up
I grew up with a good life; some could say it is the perfect life
But deep down in my mind it was like the wildlife
When I reached fifteen, I started getting objectified
I looked at men and realised my feelings weren’t being empathised
It’s the scary feeling of being small and alone
I know deep down I can use my voice like a microphone
Reality
Death, it’s powerful – sorrowful.
Filled with hate – despair.
Breaks a soul- shatters it.
Death destroys people,
Splits them in two.
Something you never recover from.
Death messes with your head,
Makes you see what isn’t there.
You believe they’re still around
They’re long gone, its been years
They ain’t coming back now,
Just for you.
Wish for them all you want,
Can’t change the past.
Why bother trying?
It’s the cycle of life,
Live, die
You can’t change it,
Accept it.
Since in the end,
Death is final-
We know nothing of what happens after.
Confident
I didn’t grow up confident,
How could I,
Society had told me that I didn’t belong,
That I didn’t belong anywhere.
I didn’t fit the standard,
My face my body were not “trendy”,
I wasn’t aware that like clothes, bodies could be “out of fashion”
Girls did everything that they could to be “perfect”,
So they could accepted.
So they could feel worthy in a body that they were given.
I wish we lived in a world where we could feel worthy,
Where we could all love and accept ourselves
Just Sink
After one Zoom
Elephants, trucks, gorillas and men
Acting like our bodies went kaboom
Our “C rugby team” would definitely beat you
Boys giving us insults
Left, right and centre
Saying stuff in the moment trying to be one of “the lads”
Not knowing how deep into our body it could enter.
Many people will not think
And say any harmful thing that comes to mind
Then within just one blink
How many people’s emotions you just made sink.
How Many Years?
How many years did I follow you
Need two hands to count
wish that wasn’t true
Took way too long for me to break away from your spell
Felt like a prisoner trapped in a cell
That was too much of my life
Realised I had to step out if the shadows into the light
So many people told me for years on end
But still I choose not to believe them
But I was blind for the longest time
I thought everything was fine
I thought it was normal
That I couldn’t see what was in front of me
I didn’t know what I could be
And it was horrible
What a Day
What a day in the sun
The sun was shining
Like a diamond
The beach had sand like the palm of my hand
The sea was as blue as the sky
The sky got darker
The wind began to get heavier
As the night went on
My Mum
You said that you would change your ways
Didn’t tell me you’d be going for more than “a few days”
Little me being eight years old
I didn’t realize life could be so cold
I went from seeing you everyday
To rarely seeing you on my birthday
Walking through the cold walls of Mountjoy
Knowing that I would enjoy
Seeing you for the first time in weeks
Until it was time to leave and the guard speaks
Three years had never felt so long
I tried my hardest to be strong
Tears flowed from my eyes reading the letters you sent
Knowing that you wrote these behind dull walls of cement
The day you got out, I was overjoyed
That was when our family got annoyed
I thought everything would be perfect
but everyone was hopeless soon after
I learned you were homeless
Now that you are safe and alright
I found the strength to write
These are the days that made me who I am today
And you have helped me learn
That the law is always something to obey
4 Years
4 years of suffering,
4 years of uncertainty,
4 years of struggling,
4 years of fighting.
You thought you were cool calling me names,
But I was hurting inside.
I try to let it slide,
But I can’t forget.
Being the bigger person
Is not easy to do.
But keep fighting back for yourself
That’s what you do.
Whatever I Want
They’ve always tell me I can do whatever I want
I can be whomever I want
They’ve always tell me I take my own decisions
That I can express my own vision
But what if I’m afraid of all this freedom?
Seems like a big responsibility to change the world
And it’s one that our generation owns
Let’s face this challenge
Let’s break the motion
Let’s fight for the unknown
Struggles
Everyday is a struggle
Living in society is a struggle
You never know what will happen each day
If you are a different race,
You never know what racism will come to you each day
If you prefer a different sexuality,
You never know what homophobic words can come to you each day
If your body isn’t in everybody’s expectations people will judge
Everybody judges no matter what
Everybody has their own opinions
This is a part of life
And we all have to live through it
Remembering
I remember the picture
I remember the situation
But I can’t feel it
I see him
I feel the excitement
But I can’t remember anything we did
I know there were people
I know I was waiting
But he didn’t come
Nature
Looking at screens all day long,
Loosing my mind if I spend one minute more
With working and thinking, worrying about what is wrong.
So if I try to calm my mind,
The only things that give me peace
Are things in nature that help me breathe.
I try to bring some of it inside
To at least try
And help my mind.
A Little Turtle
Here was a little turtle.
He lived in a box.
He swam in a puddle.
He climbed on the rocks.
He snapped at a mosquito.
He snapped at a flea.
He snapped at a minnow.
And he snapped at me.
He caught the mosquito.
He caught the flea.
He caught the minnow.
But he didn’t catch me.