I am Anon. I don’t feel much.
Cause my heart and mind are so cramped with feelings that I don’t feel no more.
I am the bad guy. The cover up. Everyone’s enemy. The heartless monster.
The void who is cold to the core. But there is method in my madness.
Ask no questions and I’ll tell no lies.
At my final curtain fall, will you applaud?
Will you all rise?
Cause life is a stage.
I’ve been faking so long, that even I don’t know the real me.
They tell me that I’m beautiful, but I’m just synthetic. Animated.
Inside I am ugly.
I am a monster, I am the bad guy, and the only one destroying me… Is me.
I am Anon.
It’s real life, isn’t it
Being left in the dust
You get broken, hurt, battered and beaten,
Yet some of us here can’t even walk on our own two feet.
I’m not the most confident, the most secure.
That’s just the way it is, though,
Some people can’t understand that,
I’m not sad, angry, upset or lonely because I want to.
It’s because I don’t have a choice.
They tell me to get over it, that I’ll be just fine
That it’s all in my head, that I’m just wasting their time.
But that’s the whole point – it is in my head.
Influenced by others, crying in my own bed
Thinking about it, now that’s not in my head.
That’s real life, that’s it.
I thought I was happy, thought it was done
It wasn’t, it really wasn’t, nothing is ever done
Even as I write this, I’m constantly still thinking
What’s wrong with me, why am I the way I am
Am I excluded, all alone, the only one in the land
But sometimes I am happy, I can stand on my two feet.
Go through all the pain, battered, hurt and beaten.
It’s why I’m writing now, why I can still see the sunshine
That’s real life, that’s it
Still here and alive.
I stumble around,
Without a sound.
I drift in too deep,
To a world I want to keep.
The more I go,
The further it gets.
The older I am,
The harder it seems.
This world may be exciting,
But mine is worth fighting for.
The Pain Grows
The pain grows again,
Another day another worry.
Trying muster two words together.
Trying to be someone I’m not,
Trying to be that something they want.
Who am I really? I forgot long ago,
For better I thought, the happiness
I must forego. The obsession to
Fit in has taken me down a dark
Back road. I’ve lost my map.
There is a cost.
Now I’m lost.
You say I’m stupid
But really I am muted
I ask you to listen
But my words you dismiss them
You know I’m in pain
So you keep me on a chain
Make me to look perfect
And after I am wrecked
Trying to stay thin
So I throw my food in the bin
You ask for so much
But it’s never enough
I’m just so tired
I now have retired
In the End
Although I’ve never seen myself as messed up in the head
But there’s always a chance I’ll end up dead
I’ll never fit in to the school system
And have people say no one’s ever kissed him
I sometimes think I’ll never find love
This answer will only reveal when I go above
I still think I’ll live a good life
But life can always be a big strife
I hope it works out in the end
But it could also just end
He walked over to the car, looking mischievous,
His eyes made him look delirious,
He scoffed at the taxi saying something presumably hilarious,
He wore a cloak – quite mysterious,
Nothing about him made him look serious,
He pulled out a gun and held it against the drivers head
“Various devious people around here, close your eyes,
You’re just like the previous.”
A shot was heard, and a flying fleeing screeching bird
Followed soon after, with maniacal laughter
Coming from the perpetrator calling himself the dominator.
What a place, can’t even tie your lace
Without dying here from getting shot in the face.
School is a place that doesn’t enforce your self confidence
It’s a bottomless pit where everything has a consequence
How clever you are is based on some stupid tests
People say when you’re in school is when your life is at its best
But I disagree
People only care about what you wear and the state of your hair
But what happens to the people who don’t care
They’re never highlighted for their differences in this robotic system
Which bases the rest of your life of a percentage, not how much you can make a difference.
The broken system
From the window of my glass palace,
The storm is closing in,
Shaking and shattering everything I know.
Seeing the world move at top speed while
I’m glued to the ground unable to run,
Unable to shout, all alone without a soul
To save me from the shackles of loneliness.
A desperate dash to fit in divulges into deep
Dark thoughts. Alone once more,
Just another social causality.
Wearing scars like proud trophies
Unaware of the violent shame
In our heads making it fuzzy
Their cobblestone streets take the blame
Pain hidden behind a mask of jokes
Clothes clinging to a bony frame
Claim to be at peace, an eternal hoax
Think depression is your claim to fame
To be a leader you must stand for something
But success is not final,
Failure is not fatal
It takes courage to grow
So don’t pick on the low
A ship in harbour is safe
But that isn’t what it’s designed for
Ships should be sailed
When I was 10 I lost my godfather,
I found out over night, I didn’t cry or anything,
I didn’t know what was happened,
I was young and dumb.
The next day I realised what was actually happening,
My only regret, I never told him how much I loved him.
That is something I will regret for the rest of my life.
At the funeral I stared at the coffin,
Still no tears. I hadn’t comprehended what had happened.
It wasn’t until after the funeral when I looked at the coffin once again,
I bawled my eyes out. I lost my hero, my family. He was gone.
Always tell your loved ones how much you love them.
Tomorrow is never guaranteed.
The late night texts, the ‘what’s up x’,
You’re real nice now,
Then call me a cow in front of your mates thinking your great,
I feel insecure, I’m a bore you’re always wanting more,
Head a mess you couldn’t care less,
You’re off to rugby your absolutely muggy,
Living my best life, no need to fight,
I’m not a settler I deserve better.
She Doesn’t Know
She doesn’t know how much I care,
I don’t dare to tell her how I feel,
Too afraid that she’ll shut me down,
Too afraid that she doesn’t care,
I don’t feel like I’m not good enough,
So I supress my feelings push them down deeper and deeper,
And all I wanna do is see my feelings bloom.
The sound cuts through thick air
Sirens droning on the wailing winds,
Trying harder every time
But the mists prevail whether we lose or win
Mistakes bygone stir still water
In your mind your own image
But I’m not scared of what will happen
I’m scared of what’s finished
A shot in the dark made better by light
Can’t fix the stone that’s already broken
In my head this crazy crap
I wonder if I’ll sleep tonight
Clicking of Pens
The clicking of pens,
The squeaking of chairs,
Only twenty minutes left,
Stress is in the air.
I’ve worked so hard,
But was it enough,
The exams now over,
This year was so rough.
But now it’s all over,
There’s no more to do,
It’s time to relax,
I made it through.
Attendance is mandatory for 8 hours a day
Over and over that’s all they wanna say
40 minute sections, 651 minutes per week
Yet this environment must always seem bleak
Emma, come up here to collect your test, 33%?
You wanna be lazy? At this rate you’ll never pay rent
Staring at the sheet wondering what went wrong
That sheet that could define my future, turns out I’ve been useless all along.
You are just a liar,
Accuse everyone but yourself,
Dig yourself deeper
Deeper and deeper,
And laugh, laugh, laugh at those accused,
One day everyone will see
What you are
And I’ll read this paragraph,
And be the one who’ll laugh, laugh, laugh.
Bundle of Joy
There was a cross eyed boy, he was a bundle of joy,
He comes to Porto on the weekly, but I miss him midweekly,
He over reacts on text, until he sees her next,
He’s met the mates, next they’ll be on the crates,
He’ll be groovin’ at the TY ball, then I’ll have seen it all,
Hope he tells his mam soon, so I can go to his bedroom,
That’s it for now, hope this week we don’t have a row.
Sinead Falvey and Niamh Egan
I do athletics and I love to race
When I get my spikes on I tie my lace
We line up on the line
And I think to myself time to shine
Then the tension builds up inside
When I do well I feel so much pride
When I cross the line I’m dripping with sweat
When I’m done I find myself feeling dehydrated
I can’t feel my legs they feel like they’ve been amputated
When I enter the field my thoughts erase
Want to score a hat-trick, or even a brace
Want to play for my national team,
Every young footballers dream
But life will hold you back
That`s just the way it is
Waste of my Time
Waste of my time
Waste of yours
Just make up your mind
You’re actually blind
Talk talk talk
That’s all you do
But you’re good at it
Could have been good
But whose fault is that?
You stupid rat.
Walk into school on non-uniform day
Breaking your back in your own way
Thinking your great
All you do is hate
You go for lad after lad
Cause you think your mad
Go from group to group cause you’re so fake
Only cause everyone knows you’re a snake
I like pancakes
They’re my favourite food
They make me happy
But not when they’re cool
I like them with sugar and lemon
But not Nutella
I wish I could eat them all day
Instead of stew.