A Broken Home
A broken home is not a broken story
A broken home does not define your life
A broken home is not who you are.
Fear. Anger. Crying. Get over it
I hate you. I love you. That’s never the end of it
Arguments and ignorance that’s all there is to it
The feeling that it’s
All Your Fault it’s not.
Treading on Eggshells
You’re too sensitive, they say.
I stop letting people know when I’m hurt.
You’re too dramatic, they say.
I stop trying to sort out issues that upset me.
You’re too opinionated, they say.
I keep my beliefs to myself.
You’re too talkative, they say.
I learn to shut my mouth.
Why don’t you tell me you were hurt?
I didn’t know I was supposed to.
Why didn’t you tell me you were upset?
I was afraid of starting drama.
What’s your opinion?
I’m scared to tell you.
Why are you so quiet?
I’m terrified of saying something wrong.
These fears keep me from talking to new people, making me that awkward shy girl.
Even around friends, I am constantly treading on eggshells.
It’s a weight,
And it sits,
It burrows in my chest.
I feel it,
Unlimited yet unreachable
And I scream, or I want to
And the drip drip drip of the IV bag
And the stillness of her face.
And the stretch of the skin,
And the hospital stench and the noise of the dead.
And I sit,
In the noise.
On my chair,
In this room.
And I scream, or I want to.
But I don’t,
Not What you Think
I have a purpose in this world, to be given a chance,
Not to be judged by my family’s past.
Have a conversation with me and you’ll know,
I’m not what you thought so
I’m enthusiastic, adventurous and a little bit shy,
I couldn’t hurt a fly if I tried.
My family is wild I’m not going to lie,
So what? they’re loving and you only live one life.
I’ve play camogie and football all my life,
They’ve helped me when life gets a little bit tough.
Don’t stand there and judge me for I am not what u think,
Come over you’ll see, I’ll even buy you a drink
Give me a chance to show you who I am
Trust me, trust me I will change your mind
Innocence is a temporary fix,
That consists of you building brick,
Just for them to be knocked by
Society, self-image and self-awareness.
I am a mess I tell myself,
Put myself together for other people’s image of me to be “acceptable”
Always told to be presentable to people will look at you a certain way.
“I’m not normal” as if I know what normal is,
Then I begin to wonder who I am? Why am I here? Why me?
Confusing yet makes so much sense
To be patient is to be strong,
Strong enough to have hope,
Strong enough to find a purpose,
Strong enough to pull yourself through,
Giving yourself a chance,
To live another day.
She, instead of having to cope,
She wants to be
Pretty, than warm
Starving, than fat
Used, than alone
Drunk, than sober
High, than sad
She, is one who is addicted to escaping reality,
Because reality is the bad dream that taunts her dreams.
Angels Like You
I come from a family
Who act like everything’s the same
When all I can think about
Is how different things became
Whenever you left us
We were broken inside
Sometimes I feel like
There is nowhere to hide
I miss you now
And I miss you everyday
I hope to see you on the other side
I hope to see you one day
Angels like you
Don’t come around every day
I’ll know you when I see you
I hope you’re not too far away
Educations not working
Chasing these qualifications,
But they ain’t getting me working,
I seek these highs,
While I’m living these lies
I’m told to chase dollars
But no one hears my cries
I come from perfect
I come from she’s this she’s that
She’s has this she has that
She can do this and play that
She scores that and kicks this
But never judge a book by its cover
I don’t like this and that
I keep to myself like you think you do
I play sport with passion like you do
I have fun and craic about like you do
It started with one person
And now we’re all midst pandemic,
Intervening with social lives even academic.
The streets lack bodies with shop fronts closed,
Restrictions on all movements now imposed.
Faces behind masks are unrecognisable.
The loneliness for the ones with no family,
It started with one person
And now we’re all midst pandemic.
Take us back to the life that once seemed aesthetic
The pain is tough,
The struggle is real,
Everyday just seems unreal,
I wake up, I brush my teeth,
Get ready and up to leave,
Everyday is just the same,
My heart gets battered and destroyed,
Then from crumbles and ashes, I stitch it up again and again,
I have no choice but to live with the pain,
Bad decisions, bad choices,
Yet even when it’s good, it all feels the same,
Everyday, is just the same,
“You’re stupid, you’re a foreigner”, mental pain,
I’m not depressed, I don’t react,
But yet deep down, I feel like, it’s all just facts,
I may have no girlfriend; I may have little time,
Yet I still achieve something in life,
Doing my hobbies, fighting for the light,
I find that to be my way to hide the pain and all the lies,
Never give up, never leave the loved ones behind,
That is truly the foundation of life.
I’m the nettle stings you get while walking through the long grass
I’m the rain you feel hit your head on a warm summers day
I’m the cold air that comes through the cracks of the door causing shivers
And I am the out of tune key in an otherwise perfect piano
I’m the stung legs that keep walking through the pain
I’m the sun that continues shining through the rain
I’m the door that stands strong through the wind
And I am the part of the music that makes it that bit more interesting
My head is filled with insecurities
Constantly picking at my impurities
Society tells me what to wear
Society tells me how to look
Society tells me how to act
I know deep down it doesn’t matter I am me and no one can change that but,
I still seek for the approval of others
Climbing and scraping to reach that beauty standard I hold so far about my head
Someday I hope I learn to love my body for what I see but for now
My hands and knees are grazed from falling below the beauty standard
I come from the countryside
Where it is easy to sit and hide
You can hear the wind in the evening
Quivering the branches of the evergreen tree
I do not have the riches like most
A rich life to me is a ghost
I’d much rather be with my family
Something I can rely on and do so happily
Don’t get me wrong my family’s not perfect
We’re only human what were you expecting
Yes my family presses and annoys me
But deep down I know they adore me.
I love and hate this place. My friends, family, all the memories here I will hold forever.
But my heart isn’t here. It belongs out there.
It belongs in the deepest places of this beautiful planet.
Places where humans don’t dare to go.
I will not stay here, living 100 yards from my childhood home,
working in a dead end job in the town I grew up in,
sending my kids to the same school that I battled through for 14 years.
I belong in the Amazon jungle, the treacherous Himalayas, the deadly Sahara desert.
My soul is a wild one and it cannot be caged.
Wish I Could Forget
I feel broken inside
I just wanna cry
I trusted you, talked to you
Felt I really knew you
I was wrong, I didn’t really belong with you
I was told about you, thought I had control
I defended you, bended my moral for you
Wish I had of never met you
All I can do now is hate
Wish I could forget you
And everything we went through
I wish I could forget
I just wish I could forget
I Live In A World Where I Am Compared
I live in a world where I am compared,
To people on the internet with slim waist and long hair
I look in the mirror with a tear in my eye
Why don’t I look like them in can’t help but cry
The numbers on the scale fresh on my mind
I’ll never be good enough my appearance is how i’m defined
I live in a world where I am compared
When instead I should be confident in all that I wear
A Small Town
I come from a small town with loads of faces,
Have to learn about all the hidden places,
When we were young we made little bases,
But now looking back there wasn’t much spaces,
Nowadays I’ve the freedom to explore,
In town, there’s a chance to find a tenner on the floor,
That fell out of some drunk old man’s pocket,
Aw here, where is my keys my doors wide open I forgot to lock it.
What you Love
I spend most my time running around the green blades of grass at the local pitch
The satisfaction of putting the ball right between the post, doing what you love doing,
Not having to think about all the things going on in life,
Going round with a few friends enjoying it and not caring.
I’ll Never Know
I come from the perfect home with the perfect family and friends, I have everything I need.
But inside I am acing a hurt I can’t describe
My heart has been broke one too many times but this time it was for real.
I showed you all of me what people have never seen before
and told you stories that made your jaw drop to the floor.
But you swept me away like I was dirt on the floor.
Why did you do this I ask myself what I did that wasn’t good enough.
I guess I’ll never know now that you are with her.
I come from a small town
That claims it’s accepting
But god forbid one dares to be different
It would be the talk of the town
I thankfully come from a happy home
The four of us have had our struggles;
Cancer, money, bullies and stress
Thankfully we survived it all
We have earned all we own
Although jealousy shines through others
I believe in trusting the process
Of this insane journey
I know i’m only 16 and
Have more to learn
Being tested everyday
But having faith saved me
It supported me all the way
They think everything is easy because I’m not poor
Ye I’m fine there’s nothing wrong with me sure
They think I shouldn’t complain because I should be grateful
But saying what I feel makes me come across as unfaithful
I don’t say much I stay quiet and hide my pain
Cause I feel undeserving can someone please explain
I’m the same as everyone else but I’m not treated that way
They tease and slag cause they have to have their say
I come from a town everyone knows everyone, there’s no hiding
I come from house people view as perfect, in reality,
It’s like mirror stuck together with cello tape so you don’t see the cracks
I come from a family each with our own trauma,
Maybe that’s why the words ‘love you’ have never been said between our four walls
There is love in our home it just manifests itself into the form of material things not sentimental
They say your life is meant to be filled with joy
When really it’s filled with heartache and pain
From the days when we were young and happy
To the days were we wished we could just fade away
Life is meant to be easy they say
Were in reality there is so much pressure built up we start to lose hope
From the days you could have a good nights sleep
To having sleepless nights days on end
Nobody knows but I’m struggling inside
I let on that it’s all alright
but I can’t let it slide.
I’ve let it build up so much that i’m losing myself
My friends don’t know me anymore
I’m just another book on the shelf
people think they know me, my story
all they know is the girl smiling through the screen
they don’t want to know anything gory
I have to pretend that nothing bothers me the actions, the smart remarks and that word
nothing hurts me
after all who wants to be friends with the girl who transferred
School may be great
But for me it’s a hate
I’d rather be working away
As much as I hate it
Ya still can’t bate it
For the fun with your friends for days
Between the football and the fun
You couldn’t beat being under the sun
With your friends on a good day
Children stuck behind masks,
Not seeing their friends,
When will this end.
Having to sanitise,
Government says it will be over,
That’s sounding like lies,
Using my blanket as a cover.
Stuck inside all day,
Except for a walk,
In bed I lay,
Wondering when this will be over.
I look left I see fields
I look right I see fields
Anywhere I look I’m happy that I’m here.
To my house in the middle of the country
I’m grateful you are not in the town or city
For I fear I wouldn’t be the same person as today
I don’t look down on people who live in the town or city
I just feel like they would have had more opportunity to be the better person somewhere quiet,
Away from all the noise,
Away from all the people
And away from all the bad influences
For those who live in the town, let me describe the countryside to you:
You look left you see fields
You look right you see fields
You breathe in and your lungs fill with happiness
You listen and you hear the birds sing and the grass sway
You walk across the road into a small lane that has grass growing right in the centre of the road
And you think to yourself; I love the country
I Come From
I come from a mother of wealth and a father of poverty
Whose high expectations for sport and educational successes drown me.
I come from successful parents and siblings with bright futures
That are soon unravelling when I, 16 don’t yet know what to eat for dinner.
I come from a family of only success stories and growth when what if I’m no as perfect.
From RTE to BBC
From 2020 to 2021
From China to Europe
From daily cases to daily deaths
From lockdown to opening up
From Shops closing to Nature thriving
From Garda checkpoints and new lockdown rules
From face mask and hand sanitizer
From normal to a new normal
We all still manage to be in this together!
I come from figuring out what I wanna do with my life
I come from being described as “unique” and “a daydreamer”
I come from my room being the only place I am most weekends while everyone else is out with friends
I come from not being the one teachers say ” isn’t trying their best” even tho I’m trying my hardest
I come from putting a smile on my face so the people in life don’t worry
Try not to cry because it’s over,
Smile and laugh,
Because you were lucky enough to experience it.
A game of football,
We fight hard,
Harder than war,
As hard as a rock.
The game just started,
People gave up,
Players heads dropped.
The Voice of a City
I come from a small village with the voice of a city,
Where the community is heard and the scenes they are so pretty.
I play for a club that might not be as good as the Dubs
But the fight and passion we carry with such love.
On the pitch we work with each other I look to the stands
And see the smiles of all the mothers and that’s when I know our little village is like no other.
Our club has been through thick and thin, there’s times we lose and there’s times we win
But we must fight and we must work and we must not give in
Because that my friends is the almighty sin.
Love will get Liam Neeson after you
Love will make you die a very boring death
Love will kill you and bring you back to life
Love will nuke you
Love will eat you like a bear
Love will run you over
Love will burn you
Love will slaughter you
Love will take back what is his
Love will take back it’s Mom
Love will kick you into space
“We believe you” the best yet worse words you want to hear from your family and friends
Why you ask?
Do they actually believe you?
Did you forget the advice of having a plan b?
“oh but what about being a …” or bringing up your low grades. Or the fact that you’re “lazy”.
I want to be a doctor, a lawyer, a therapist,
Those are your only dreams, you planned your future,
As if you were going to succeed but you haven’t planned for what if you don’t.
What can I say we have big plans but bad grades.
Bright Sunny Afternoon
It was a bright sunny afternoon
The band were getting ready to go out
Play for this Ulster final.
Donegal were playing Monaghan on this scorching hot summers day.
I felt that I was going to faint from the heat.
After feeling that lightness I thought to myself what did I do with my life.
I haven’t changed anyone’s life yet.
This could be a sign from God that I am leaving this world and going to the other side.
I could feel the pressure as everyone was looking at me as I was the lead cornet player.
Football is a battle, it’s a rivalry local boys going up against each other with one aim to win,
Boys will be boys and always, go at it hammer and tongs, where it’s a 5 aside at lunch time
Or all Ireland final day in Croke Park, it’s always more than just a game,
We battle against each other on the pitch, but we battle with each other off the pitch
Everyman has each-others back no matter what.
I’ve only been on this earth a while but friends are everything I’ve lost some,
I’ve made new ones that’s just the way it is.
Sitting, Waiting, Listening
Watching, Tapping, Moving
Rustling, Writing, Talking
Quick move, Out of my way,
Mayhem, Bumping shoulders,
Walking halls, Saying hello,
Opening doors, Closing doors
It’s sophisticating, but I swallow it
It’s crushing, but I hold it
It’s kills me, but I keep it
Because I have everything
Who am I to complain?
I look around and I see the fields of home
But underneath there is a perception that to have a life worth living here
You must be pretty, you must be skinny, you must be popular,
You must be sporty, you must be successful.
If home means comfort why am I not comfortable.
I live in a house outside my town
It’s truly the jewel of the Irish crown
It looks quite plain, painted blue as the skies
But beyond its looks, its true beauty lies
Over the years, the house has seen
A girl grow from two to a girl of sixteen
Who was warm in the winters and dry in the rain
It’s beautiful, even if it looks so plain
The day that I lost you my heart broke in two
The day that I lost you then I really knew
I figured you were gone and you weren’t coming back
We put our body on the line,
To let the passion for ourselves shine.
A chance to express myself,
And put my issues on the shelf
Fight for every ball, whether it is a lunch game or an All-Ireland final.
This is what we love to do,
And hit them no matter who
To show our fight within us!
I am a prisoner.
I wake and then go to hell
My freedom gone and all that’s left is an empty shell
My amount of stress could fill up a pool
I am a prisoner
And my prison is school
Football is Life
I love football it is my passion
It makes me so happy
It’s so much fun and great
But most of all I love my coach
And my mom is so supportive
When I fall she picks me up
She kisses my boo boos braids my hair
Love football forever and ever
The Sun is Shining
The sun is shining on this beautiful day
But is always cold everywhere you go
Always happy but nowhere to go
Everyone needs to be safe
But Covid is killing everyone
Young and old
I like the sun
I have a gun
Maybe we could have some fun
With my friend that weighs a tonne
I like hair
It is nice
Maybe someday I can eat a slice
Your eyes are beautiful
Your legs are fair
It’s lucky that they come in a pair
I hate school
But I love a game of pool
I’m not quite a fool
But I am a tool
Chocolate is nice
It’s at a fair price
My friend has head lice
So grab some ice
Love is kind
You will come to find
Let’s take a trip to the mine
I hope we don’t get a fine
Roses are red
Violets are not yellow
Will you love me more than a toasty marshmallow?
This is the final verse
But it’s not the last you will hear from me
You never know someday I might be down in history
Living in the countryside and I have my head in the clouds with big ideas and big dreams
And I feel that it is achievable
When come out of your own world
I learned to keep my cards close to my chest
After people and family judging about everything you say about my future dreams
Just because you get stand up for a person.
From Home to School
Sports included too
From Early morning to late nights
No time for silly little frights
Feeling judged feeling lost
“Yes, I’m fine” commonly used
Even on the fine line
Opening up and being shut down
Told to be grateful for what’s around
I come from the town of Castleblayney
I come from a place of fame and glory
I enjoy football, basketball, golf and hurling
I enjoy food, tv, PlayStation and cards
The town I come from is full of stress
Of where to go and how to dress
I love the place I come from
The panic the stress but most the fun
I come from a small town
With people from here and there
Every morning I wake up
Struggling to decide on what to wear
I walk to school every morning
Thinking about today will be so boring
I arrive to the school gate
But as per usual my friends are always late
Dark Lonely Place
I came from a dark lonely place,
Nothing to live for,
To having something to hope for,
Football keeping me thriving giving me hope,
To finally getting the courage to open up to my friends,
To them supporting me,
Then lockdown came around put me back down,
And then February came around it change my life around,
I found someone that cared for me,
Now i’m back to having hope for something to live for.
The tackles were crazy
My body felt the pain
I was so into the game
People said I was insane
This sport is just for me
Working from 6am till 11
Trying to get 7 hours sleep
Can barely stand on my feet
My heads buzzing
Me and my cousin
Working all day long
But we are getting along
Getting payed my the day
Trying to do the school essay
It’s a tough aul life
From farms to building sites
But that’s a workman’s life
Light at the End of a Tunnel
There is light at the end of a tunnel
A quote we hear a lot these days
I find it hard to see the light
When facemasks and hand sanitizers are the only thing in sight.
One year later on we hear
Stay at home they say stop the spread of this deadly virus or you will pay,
Anger builds up inside of me
Why should I stay at home alone
When other teenagers party together
A Bit of Ball
Nothing I like more than playin a bit of ball,
with some of my friends, whichever I may call.
Hot weather, sun beaming
What to do next. We are scheming
Going home, eating my favourite food,
Watching a movie, if I’m in the mood.
Maybe a few of ps games, this is the best day ever
I could live in this world forever
In a Yellow House
I live in a yellow house
With my mother, siblings and her spouse
I have a little brown dog
With a bridge that sits a little stone frog
The animals come in their crowds
Under the grey sky and their clouds
The grass is so green
The sun so bright
It seems like a dream
No worries in sight
The grass soon fades
The Leaves start to fall
School replaces sleepovers
Oh I will miss it all
in this world, everyone wears a mask, everyone has hopes and dreams and everyone has a hard life
My Day in Life
I woke up to the alarm
And walked onto the farm
I fed the cattle until they were fat
And saw a cat
I ate my roast dinner
But gravy was thinner
And my mood got thicker
Spinning, winning and being unreal
People love me so much because I do too
From the huge lake to the towns places,
To the football pitch and the known places,
From the forestry trees to the town shops to the huge school to the town square clock.
This place is ours let’s respect it but more importantly let’s respect it.
I woke up and thought oh no another day of school.
Looked out the window and thought another cold and dull day.
Ate my breakfast and thought another day of gross porridge.
Hoping that maybe soon I would wake up and think yay another wonderful day.
Maybe soon the small things wouldn’t affect me as much.
That maybe soon I wouldn’t dread school, cold dull days and porridge for breakfast.
Maybe someday I’ll wake up happy. Or maybe not.
I always wonder what’s it like in space
Like is there something out there
Is there life out there watching us with screens in front of their faces
Do they know about us and are just waiting for us to find them
Or are they ignoring us cuz we have nothing to offer them?
I need to get away for a break or a holiday so I can see the sun
Cause in the sun they say its fun if you get some
I could take a boat or train or an aeroplane
Or I could steal a car cause in a car you can go far it just depends what kinda car you are
I met a funny looking girl on a crowded beach in Spain her name was avaline she said she came to Spain to have a good time she was with her mum who had a face like a nun in pain she said her name was dot. She didn’t half talk a lot I couldn’t tell if she was mad or not
Don’t ya know I should have stayed in Ireland in my polluted beach with all my special friends
Don’t ya know I should have stayed in Ireland with my crap house
And my crap car and all my friends there at the bar
I come from a farm far far away in a well know spot called Drumhowan.
Football mad they are. All the way from Tullycorbet to Blackhill.
Not a day goes by when you’re not making 20 cups of tea for the morning breakfast