Our Lady’s Secondary School, Castleblayney, Co. Monaghan

A Broken Home

 

A broken home is not a broken story

A broken home does not define your life

A broken home is not who you are.

Fear. Anger. Crying. Get over it

I hate you. I love you. That’s never the end of it

Arguments and ignorance that’s all there is to it

The feeling that it’s

All Your Fault it’s not.

 

Treading on Eggshells

 

You’re too sensitive, they say.

I stop letting people know when I’m hurt.

You’re too dramatic, they say.

I stop trying to sort out issues that upset me.

You’re too opinionated, they say.

I keep my beliefs to myself.

You’re too talkative, they say.

I learn to shut my mouth.

 

Why don’t you tell me you were hurt?

I didn’t know I was supposed to.

Why didn’t you tell me you were upset?

I was afraid of starting drama.

What’s your opinion?

I’m scared to tell you.

Why are you so quiet?

I’m terrified of saying something wrong.

 

These fears keep me from talking to new people, making me that awkward shy girl.

Even around friends, I am constantly treading on eggshells.

 

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It’s a weight,

A stone,

A rumble,

A mountain.

And it sits,

It burrows in my chest.

I feel it,

Cold,

Heavy,

Unlimited yet unreachable

And I scream, or I want to

And the drip drip drip of the IV bag

And the stillness of her face.

And the stretch of the skin,

The bones,

The ribs.

And the hospital stench and the noise of the dead.

And I sit,

In the noise.

On my chair,

In this room.

And I scream, or I want to.

But I don’t,

I won’t

 

Not What you Think

 

I have a purpose in this world, to be given a chance,

Not to be judged by my family’s past.

Have a conversation with me and you’ll know,

I’m not what you thought so

I’m enthusiastic, adventurous and a little bit shy,

I couldn’t hurt a fly if I tried.

My family is wild I’m not going to lie,

So what? they’re loving and you only live one life.

I’ve play camogie and football all my life,

They’ve helped me when life gets a little bit tough.

Don’t stand there and judge me for I am not what u think,

Come over you’ll see, I’ll even buy you a drink

Give me a chance to show you who I am

Trust me, trust me I will change your mind

 

Innocence

 

Innocence is a temporary fix,

That consists of you building brick,

Just for them to be knocked by

Society, self-image and self-awareness.

I am a mess I tell myself,

Put myself together for other people’s image of me to be “acceptable”

Always told to be presentable to people will look at you a certain way.

“I’m not normal” as if I know what normal is,

Then I begin to wonder who I am? Why am I here? Why me?

Confusing yet makes so much sense

 

𝗨𝗻𝘁𝗶𝘁𝗹𝗲𝗱

 

To be patient is to be strong,

Strong enough to have hope,

Strong enough to find a purpose,

Strong enough to pull yourself through,

Giving yourself a chance,

To live another day.

 

She, instead of having to cope,

She wants to be

Pretty, than warm

Starving, than fat

Used, than alone

Drunk, than sober

High, than sad

She, is one who is addicted to escaping reality,

Because reality is the bad dream that taunts her dreams.

 

Angels Like You

 

I come from a family

Who act like everything’s the same

When all I can think about

Is how different things became

Whenever you left us

We were broken inside

Sometimes I feel like

There is nowhere to hide

I miss you now

And I miss you everyday

I hope to see you on the other side

I hope to see you one day

Angels like you

Don’t come around every day

I’ll know you when I see you

I hope you’re not too far away

 

Aimlessly Searching

 

Aimlessly searching,

Educations not working

Chasing these qualifications,

But they ain’t getting me working,

 

I seek these highs,

While I’m living these lies

I’m told to chase dollars

But no one hears my cries

 

Perfect

 

I come from perfect

I come from she’s this she’s that

She’s has this she has that

She can do this and play that

She scores that and kicks this

But never judge a book by its cover

I don’t like this and that

I keep to myself like you think you do

I play sport with passion like you do

I have fun and craic about like you do

 

Pandemic

 

It started with one person

And now we’re all midst pandemic,

Intervening with social lives even academic.

The streets lack bodies with shop fronts closed,

Restrictions on all movements now imposed.

Faces behind masks are unrecognisable.

The loneliness for the ones with no family,

Indescribable.

It started with one person

And now we’re all midst pandemic.

Take us back to the life that once seemed aesthetic

 

Everyday

 

The pain is tough,

The struggle is real,

Everyday just seems unreal,

I wake up, I brush my teeth,

Get ready and up to leave,

Everyday is just the same,

My heart gets battered and destroyed,

Then from crumbles and ashes, I stitch it up again and again,

I have no choice but to live with the pain,

Bad decisions, bad choices,

Yet even when it’s good, it all feels the same,

Everyday, is just the same,

“You’re stupid, you’re a foreigner”, mental pain,

I’m not depressed, I don’t react,

But yet deep down, I feel like, it’s all just facts,

I may have no girlfriend; I may have little time,

Yet I still achieve something in life,

Doing my hobbies, fighting for the light,

I find that to be my way to hide the pain and all the lies,

Never give up, never leave the loved ones behind,

That is truly the foundation of life.

 

I’m The

 

I’m the nettle stings you get while walking through the long grass

I’m the rain you feel hit your head on a warm summers day

I’m the cold air that comes through the cracks of the door causing shivers

And I am the out of tune key in an otherwise perfect piano

But

I’m the stung legs that keep walking through the pain

I’m the sun that continues shining through the rain

I’m the door that stands strong through the wind

And I am the part of the music that makes it that bit more interesting

 

Society

 

My head is filled with insecurities

Constantly picking at my impurities

Society tells me what to wear

Society tells me how to look

Society tells me how to act

I know deep down it doesn’t matter I am me and no one can change that but,

I still seek for the approval of others

Climbing and scraping to reach that beauty standard I hold so far about my head

Someday I hope I learn to love my body for what I see but for now

My hands and knees are grazed from falling below the beauty standard

 

My Family

 

I come from the countryside

Where it is easy to sit and hide

You can hear the wind in the evening

Quivering the branches of the evergreen tree

I do not have the riches like most

A rich life to me is a ghost

I’d much rather be with my family

Something I can rely on and do so happily

Don’t get me wrong my family’s not perfect

We’re only human what were you expecting

Yes my family presses and annoys me

But deep down I know they adore me.

 

My Soul

 

I love and hate this place. My friends, family, all the memories here I will hold forever.

But my heart isn’t here. It belongs out there.

It belongs in the deepest places of this beautiful planet.

Places where humans don’t dare to go.

I will not stay here, living 100 yards from my childhood home,

working in a dead end job in the town I grew up in,

sending my kids to the same school that I battled through for 14 years.

I belong in the Amazon jungle, the treacherous Himalayas, the deadly Sahara desert.

My soul is a wild one and it cannot be caged.

 

Wish I Could Forget

 

I feel broken inside

I just wanna cry

I trusted you, talked to you

Felt I really knew you

I was wrong, I didn’t really belong with you

I was told about you, thought I had control

I defended you, bended my moral for you

Wish I had of never met you

All I can do now is hate

Wish I could forget you

And everything we went through

I wish I could forget

I just wish I could forget

 

I Live In A World Where I Am Compared

 

I live in a world where I am compared,

To people on the internet with slim waist and long hair

I look in the mirror with a tear in my eye

Why don’t I look like them in can’t help but cry

The numbers on the scale fresh on my mind

I’ll never be good enough my appearance is how i’m defined

I live in a world where I am compared

When instead I should be confident in all that I wear

 

A Small Town

 

I come from a small town with loads of faces,

Have to learn about all the hidden places,

When we were young we made little bases,

But now looking back there wasn’t much spaces,

Nowadays I’ve the freedom to explore,

In town, there’s a chance to find a tenner on the floor,

That fell out of some drunk old man’s pocket,

Aw here, where is my keys my doors wide open I forgot to lock it.

 

What you Love

 

I spend most my time running around the green blades of grass at the local pitch

The satisfaction of putting the ball right between the post, doing what you love doing,

Not having to think about all the things going on in life,

Going round with a few friends enjoying it and not caring.

 

I’ll Never Know

 

I come from the perfect home with the perfect family and friends, I have everything I need.

But inside I am acing a hurt I can’t describe

My heart has been broke one too many times but this time it was for real.

I showed you all of me what people have never seen before

and told you stories that made your jaw drop to the floor.

But you swept me away like I was dirt on the floor.

Why did you do this I ask myself what I did that wasn’t good enough.

I guess I’ll never know now that you are with her.

 

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I come from a small town

That claims it’s accepting

But god forbid one dares to be different

It would be the talk of the town

 

I thankfully come from a happy home

The four of us have had our struggles;

Cancer, money, bullies and stress

Thankfully we survived it all

We have earned all we own

Although jealousy shines through others

 

I believe in trusting the process

Of this insane journey

I know i’m only 16 and

Have more to learn

Being tested everyday

But having faith saved me

It supported me all the way

 

They Think

 

They think everything is easy because I’m not poor

Ye I’m fine there’s nothing wrong with me sure

They think I shouldn’t complain because I should be grateful

But saying what I feel makes me come across as unfaithful

I don’t say much I stay quiet and hide my pain

Cause I feel undeserving can someone please explain

I’m the same as everyone else but I’m not treated that way

They tease and slag cause they have to have their say

 

Love

 

I come from a town everyone knows everyone, there’s no hiding

I come from house people view as perfect, in reality,

It’s like mirror stuck together with cello tape so you don’t see the cracks

I come from a family each with our own trauma,

Maybe that’s why the words ‘love you’ have never been said between our four walls

There is love in our home it just manifests itself into the form of material things not sentimental

 

They Say

 

They say your life is meant to be filled with joy

When really it’s filled with heartache and pain

From the days when we were young and happy

To the days were we wished we could just fade away

Life is meant to be easy they say

Were in reality there is so much pressure built up we start to lose hope

From the days you could have a good nights sleep

To having sleepless nights days on end

 

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Nobody knows but I’m struggling inside

I let on that it’s all alright

but I can’t let it slide.

 

I’ve let it build up so much that i’m losing myself

My friends don’t know me anymore

I’m just another book on the shelf

 

people think they know me, my story

all they know is the girl smiling through the screen

they don’t want to know anything gory

 

I have to pretend that nothing bothers me the actions, the smart remarks and that word

nothing hurts me

after all who wants to be friends with the girl who transferred

 

School

 

School may be great

But for me it’s a hate

I’d rather be working away

As much as I hate it

Ya still can’t bate it

For the fun with your friends for days

Between the football and the fun

You couldn’t beat being under the sun

With your friends on a good day

 

Stuck

 

Children stuck behind masks,

Not seeing their friends,

Locked indoors,

When will this end.

Having to sanitise,

Government says it will be over,

That’s sounding like lies,

Using my blanket as a cover.

Stuck inside all day,

Except for a walk,

In bed I lay,

Wondering when this will be over.

 

Fields

 

I look left I see fields

I look right I see fields

Anywhere I look I’m happy that I’m here.

To my house in the middle of the country

I’m grateful you are not in the town or city

For I fear I wouldn’t be the same person as today

I don’t look down on people who live in the town or city

I just feel like they would have had more opportunity to be the better person somewhere quiet,

Away from all the noise,

Away from all the people

And away from all the bad influences

For those who live in the town, let me describe the countryside to you:

You look left you see fields

You look right you see fields

You breathe in and your lungs fill with happiness

You listen and you hear the birds sing and the grass sway

You walk across the road into a small lane that has grass growing right in the centre of the road

And you think to yourself; I love the country

 

I Come From

 

I come from a mother of wealth and a father of poverty

Whose high expectations for sport and educational successes drown me.

I come from successful parents and siblings with bright futures

That are soon unravelling when I, 16 don’t yet know what to eat for dinner.

I come from a family of only success stories and growth when what if I’m no as perfect.

 

Together

 

From RTE to BBC

From 2020 to 2021

From China to Europe

From daily cases to daily deaths

From lockdown to opening up

From Shops closing to Nature thriving

From Garda checkpoints and new lockdown rules

From face mask and hand sanitizer

From normal to a new normal

We all still manage to be in this together!

 

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I come from figuring out what I wanna do with my life

I come from being described as “unique” and “a daydreamer”

I come from my room being the only place I am most weekends while everyone else is out with friends

I come from not being the one teachers say ” isn’t trying their best” even tho I’m trying my hardest

I come from putting a smile on my face so the people in life don’t worry

 

Try

 

Try not to cry because it’s over,

Smile and laugh,

Because you were lucky enough to experience it.

 

Football

 

A game of football,

We fight hard,

Harder than war,

As hard as a rock.

 

The game just started,

Cannons fired,

Players tired,

People shouting,

Players doubting,

People gave up,

Players heads dropped.

 

The Voice of a City

 

I come from a small village with the voice of a city,

Where the community is heard and the scenes they are so pretty.

I play for a club that might not be as good as the Dubs

But the fight and passion we carry with such love.

On the pitch we work with each other I look to the stands

And see the smiles of all the mothers and that’s when I know our little village is like no other.

Our club has been through thick and thin, there’s times we lose and there’s times we win

But we must fight and we must work and we must not give in

Because that my friends is the almighty sin.

 

Love Will

 

Love will get Liam Neeson after you

Love will make you die a very boring death

Love will kill you and bring you back to life

Love will nuke you

Love will eat you like a bear

Love will run you over

Love will burn you

Love will slaughter you

Love will take back what is his

Love will take back it’s Mom

Love will kick you into space

 

Plan B

 

“We believe you” the best yet worse words you want to hear from your family and friends

Why you ask?

Do they actually believe you?

Did you forget the advice of having a plan b?

“oh but what about being a …” or bringing up your low grades. Or the fact that you’re “lazy”.

I want to be a doctor, a lawyer, a therapist,

Those are your only dreams, you planned your future,

As if you were going to succeed but you haven’t planned for what if you don’t.

What can I say we have big plans but bad grades.

 

Bright Sunny Afternoon

 

It was a bright sunny afternoon

The band were getting ready to go out

Play for this Ulster final.

Donegal were playing Monaghan on this scorching hot summers day.

I felt that I was going to faint from the heat.

After feeling that lightness I thought to myself what did I do with my life.

I haven’t changed anyone’s life yet.

This could be a sign from God that I am leaving this world and going to the other side.

I could feel the pressure as everyone was looking at me as I was the lead cornet player.

 

Football

 

Football is a battle, it’s a rivalry local boys going up against each other with one aim to win,

 

Boys will be boys and always, go at it hammer and tongs, where it’s a 5 aside at lunch time

Or all Ireland final day in Croke Park, it’s always more than just a game,

 

We battle against each other on the pitch, but we battle with each other off the pitch

Everyman has each-others back no matter what.

 

I’ve only been on this earth a while but friends are everything I’ve lost some,

I’ve made new ones that’s just the way it is.

 

Repeat

 

Sitting, Waiting, Listening

Watching, Tapping, Moving

Rustling, Writing, Talking

The bell

Quick move, Out of my way,

Mayhem, Bumping shoulders,

Walking halls, Saying hello,

Opening doors, Closing doors

Sitting down

Repeat

School

 

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It’s sophisticating, but I swallow it

It’s crushing, but I hold it

It’s kills me, but I keep it

Because I have everything

Who am I to complain?

 

Home

 

I look around and I see the fields of home

But underneath there is a perception that to have a life worth living here

You must be pretty, you must be skinny, you must be popular,

You must be sporty, you must be successful.

If home means comfort why am I not comfortable.

 

My House

 

I live in a house outside my town

It’s truly the jewel of the Irish crown

It looks quite plain, painted blue as the skies

But beyond its looks, its true beauty lies

Over the years, the house has seen

A girl grow from two to a girl of sixteen

Who was warm in the winters and dry in the rain

It’s beautiful, even if it looks so plain

 

Lost You

 

The day that I lost you my heart broke in two

The day that I lost you then I really knew

I figured you were gone and you weren’t coming back

Back home

 

Our Fight

 

We put our body on the line,

To let the passion for ourselves shine.

A chance to express myself,

And put my issues on the shelf

Fight for every ball, whether it is a lunch game or an All-Ireland final.

This is what we love to do,

And hit them no matter who

To show our fight within us!

 

Prisoner

 

I am a prisoner.

I wake and then go to hell

My freedom gone and all that’s left is an empty shell

My amount of stress could fill up a pool

I am a prisoner

And my prison is school

 

Football is Life

 

I love football it is my passion

It makes me so happy

It’s so much fun and great

But most of all I love my coach

And my mom is so supportive

When I fall she picks me up

She kisses my boo boos braids my hair

Love football forever and ever

 

The Sun is Shining

 

The sun is shining on this beautiful day

But is always cold everywhere you go

Always happy but nowhere to go

Everyone needs to be safe

But Covid is killing everyone

Young and old

 

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I like the sun

I have a gun

Maybe we could have some fun

With my friend that weighs a tonne

 

I like hair

It is nice

Maybe someday I can eat a slice

 

Your eyes are beautiful

Your legs are fair

It’s lucky that they come in a pair

 

I hate school

But I love a game of pool

I’m not quite a fool

But I am a tool

 

Chocolate is nice

It’s at a fair price

My friend has head lice

So grab some ice

 

Love is kind

You will come to find

Let’s take a trip to the mine

I hope we don’t get a fine

 

Roses are red

Violets are not yellow

Will you love me more than a toasty marshmallow?

 

This is the final verse

But it’s not the last you will hear from me

You never know someday I might be down in history

 

Judgement

 

Living in the countryside and I have my head in the clouds with big ideas and big dreams

And I feel that it is achievable

When come out of your own world

I learned to keep my cards close to my chest

After people and family judging about everything you say about my future dreams

Just because you get stand up for a person.

 

Grateful

 

From Home to School

Sports included too

From Early morning to late nights

No time for silly little frights

Feeling judged feeling lost

“Yes, I’m fine” commonly used

Even on the fine line

Opening up and being shut down

Told to be grateful for what’s around

 

Castleblayney

 

I come from the town of Castleblayney

I come from a place of fame and glory

I enjoy football, basketball, golf and hurling

I enjoy food, tv, PlayStation and cards

The town I come from is full of stress

Of where to go and how to dress

I love the place I come from

The panic the stress but most the fun

 

Every Morning

 

I come from a small town

With people from here and there

Every morning I wake up

Struggling to decide on what to wear

 

I walk to school every morning

Thinking about today will be so boring

I arrive to the school gate

But as per usual my friends are always late

 

Dark Lonely Place

 

I came from a dark lonely place,

Nothing to live for,

To having something to hope for,

Football keeping me thriving giving me hope,

To finally getting the courage to open up to my friends,

To them supporting me,

Then lockdown came around put me back down,

And then February came around it change my life around,

I found someone that cared for me,

Now i’m back to having hope for something to live for.

 

Football

 

The tackles were crazy

My body felt the pain

I was so into the game

People said I was insane

This sport is just for me

 

Work

 

Working from 6am till 11

Trying to get 7 hours sleep

Can barely stand on my feet

My heads buzzing

Me and my cousin

Working all day long

But we are getting along

Getting payed my the day

Trying to do the school essay

It’s a tough aul life

From farms to building sites

But that’s a workman’s life

 

Light at the End of a Tunnel

 

There is light at the end of a tunnel

A quote we hear a lot these days

I find it hard to see the light

When facemasks and hand sanitizers are the only thing in sight.

 

One year later on we hear

Stay at home they say stop the spread of this deadly virus or you will pay,

Anger builds up inside of me

Why should I stay at home alone

When other teenagers party together

 

A Bit of Ball

 

Nothing I like more than playin a bit of ball,

with some of my friends, whichever I may call.

Hot weather, sun beaming

What to do next. We are scheming

Going home, eating my favourite food,

Watching a movie, if I’m in the mood.

Maybe a few of ps games, this is the best day ever

I could live in this world forever

 

In a Yellow House

 

I live in a yellow house

With my mother, siblings and her spouse

I have a little brown dog

With a bridge that sits a little stone frog

 

The animals come in their crowds

Under the grey sky and their clouds

 

The Grass

 

The grass is so green

The sun so bright

It seems like a dream

No worries in sight

 

The grass soon fades

The Leaves start to fall

School replaces sleepovers

Oh I will miss it all

 

This World

 

in this world, everyone wears a mask, everyone has hopes and dreams and everyone has a hard life

 

My Day in Life

 

I woke up to the alarm

And walked onto the farm

I fed the cattle until they were fat

And saw a cat

I ate my roast dinner

But gravy was thinner

And my mood got thicker

Spinning, winning and being unreal

People love me so much because I do too

 

This Place

 

From the huge lake to the towns places,

To the football pitch and the known places,

From the forestry trees to the town shops to the huge school to the town square clock.

This place is ours let’s respect it but more importantly let’s respect it.

 

Another Day

 

I woke up and thought oh no another day of school.

Looked out the window and thought another cold and dull day.

Ate my breakfast and thought another day of gross porridge.

Hoping that maybe soon I would wake up and think yay another wonderful day.

Maybe soon the small things wouldn’t affect me as much.

That maybe soon I wouldn’t dread school, cold dull days and porridge for breakfast.

Maybe someday I’ll wake up happy. Or maybe not.

 

Wonder

 

I always wonder what’s it like in space

Like is there something out there

Is there life out there watching us with screens in front of their faces

Do they know about us and are just waiting for us to find them

Or are they ignoring us cuz we have nothing to offer them?

 

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I need to get away for a break or a holiday so I can see the sun

Cause in the sun they say its fun if you get some

I could take a boat or train or an aeroplane

Or I could steal a car cause in a car you can go far it just depends what kinda car you are

I met a funny looking girl on a crowded beach in Spain her name was avaline she said she came to Spain to have a good time she was with her mum who had a face like a nun in pain she said her name was dot. She didn’t half talk a lot I couldn’t tell if she was mad or not

Don’t ya know I should have stayed in Ireland in my polluted beach with all my special friends

Don’t ya know I should have stayed in Ireland with my crap house

And my crap car and all my friends there at the bar

 

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I come from a farm far far away in a well know spot called Drumhowan.

Football mad they are. All the way from Tullycorbet to Blackhill.

Not a day goes by when you’re not making 20 cups of tea for the morning breakfast