The Day Today
For me a day is hard
People don’t see my scars
I work hard, too hard
But nobody sees, I am alone
Hide my shame on my phone
To me it feels like a slag
It hurts but what can I do
My mother says for me to pray
But nothing happens; I say
I am alone
I play sports to get strong and ern respect, maybe that will help
No
I am fragile but not in that sense
I take things to heart even the little
The scars run deep, and the plasters brittle
No one will know what I go through
I listen to others
They talk louder than I do
To talk about felling’s who would know who would care
Apparently, I’m smart and strong
But it doesn’t feel like it
I am alone.
I’m Fine
“Tell me how you feel,” they say.
“Talk to me, speak your mind,”
But what’s the point in talking? Does it keep the pain at bay?
Feeling so confined, so many feelings intertwined, scared of being declined, wanting to speak your mind, but dropping your head and returning to the grind. Everyone so blind when they ask you how you are and you say you’re fine… but you’re not fine.
Whispers and rumours circulating, humiliating and isolating, separating you from your peers. People speculating ideas about you that they heard from the vine, you feel like you’re suffocating. And you say you’re fine. But you’re not fine.
Feeling this way is draining, emotionally and mentally straining, maintaining a smile even though there isn’t any true happiness remaining.
And even if you do say you’re sad, or depressed or stressed, they shut you down. Tell you to remove your frown.
“You’re fine, it’s your age”.
You feel yourself slipping, slowly breaking down, until there’s nothing left. Nothing but sadness and anger, pushing it all down. Deeper and deeper, bottling it up. And sooner or later, it proves too much. And you want to stop it all, this constant brawl. No one to call.
Feeling so isolated and alone. Forever stuck in this horrible zone. And you’re happiness continues to decline, and they ask you how you are, and you say you’re fine.
The monster in my head
I lay in bed at night
As I try so hard to win this fight
I just wait again for my depression
To turn into aggression
Does anyone notice does anyone even care
Why does my life have to be so unfair?
I just have to pray and hope that god is at my side
Because right now I feel like I’m dying inside
I wake up every day, I don’t want to go outside
Because of my demons, I have nowhere to hide
Next thing I know I can’t even breathe
My anxiety right now is the last thing I need
I go to school feel like I am getting judged
Next thing I know my face is burning up
I come home again I put on a mask
Is a bit of happiness too much to ask?
But I’m still here fighting after all these years
Happiness and Hospitals
From no doubt to thinking
from happiness to hospitals
to different diagnosis’ and prescriptions
to feeling like i depend on them
from feeling great to feeling like i was the only one who felt my pain
and feeling like i was worth nothing but a number
from punching walls to trying sports
to using my anger for sport and achieving something to feeling wanted and loved
for the first time in years i felt happy and i loved it
i had beat depression after years of telling myself i was going to lose
and multiple therapists and psychologists trying to help me fix myself
i was happy.
Stale
Since a young age I’ve never known my own worth,
bruised and battered by my own thoughts,
scared of failure and my parent thoughts,
scared of never being good enough.
Trying to be perfect through others perception,
learning the tough way from others hard actions,
all grown up and still in dark, trying so hard to dig myself out,
fighting and fighting, day after day,
holding on tight to the life i call stale.
It’s Time to Face the Music
I feel the melody trickle down my spine as it leaves my mouth,
The chords travel from the strings through my fingers to my brain
Giving me that drug-like buzz.
This songs about an about an empty love, it’s soft and sad and calming.
I switch the sound from clean to crunch, and hear the faint background fuzz.
Some hard rock this time, bringing out the passion and anger.
This is what people prefer to hear, they get bored of the sound of my soul.
What’s that? I’m too smart to pursue music? “You get too many A’s to be an rock star.”
Go to college? Get a job? In ten years I’ll feel a hundred years old.
When I think about hurling,
my stomach starts to curl with excitement,
about playing the game that our ancestors fought for.
But when I think about school i do not think the same,
my stomach starts to curl of mostly negative thoughts,
But when I see the brilliant people,
my mood starts to steeple.
Lonely Nights
I come from drug users and sex offenders
I come from lonley nights all alone
I come from changing home to home
from growing up to fast to raise my sister
late night feeds on school nights
and feeling all alone raising her
her crying in my arms begging for me to stay
i come from being ripped out of her arms
and not speaking for weeks on end
I come from seeing her every day to not at all.
day in day out
i get up and workout
nah that’s a mess
i just get myself dressed
enough of the boring bit
i go for a spin in the cockpit
off to school i go
until the front tire decides to blow
999 or 112 whatever it is
the garda are on the chase
and pray to fuck they don’t recognize the empty tax case
lowered shaft and cut off exhaust
we may be in more trouble than the holocaust
schools a right off
so theirs only on thing for it
go home and eat the mothers chicken dish.
Saddle Mad
Im for waking up at 9am driving to the stables
and wondering what horse im riding.
I’m for praying that i dont fall off today. why do i do this because its worth it.
I’m for worrying about jump heights im for taking risky turns.
I’m for early morning birds tweeting.
why do i do this because its worth it.
its about the bond with the horses its about the cofidence,
the will power the strength the ability to control when the horse misbehaves
its the this is so hard but you keep trying, that makes it worth it.
rowing is my passion
its all i ever do
i love being on the river
when the sun is rising
and the water is flat
i coach the younger ones
its really quiet a challenge
there full on enthusiasm
but run with no disapline
i rowed since 10 so i now what its like
the magical feeling of getting it right.
Dark Moon
The darkest winters night
with the moon as light
making everything bright,the stars are out here too
guiding me through
The sky dark like evil it feels lethal
to be out here all alone
and no one to call on the phone
school is getting worse
ty is a load of nonsense
nothing makes any sense
we cant go anywhere
and it just isnt fair
its starting to get really boring
i hope covid will go exploring
somewhere far far away.
I made a mistake,
my mistake was so bad it made me look like a fool.
I wish clocks could go back so I could regret being a fool.
My mind called me a fool, so it drove me to school to not make me a fool.
I was born a mistake so it made me such a fool,
I’m such a fool I don’t think my foolishness exists
in the dictionary or anywhere in the world.
My friends called me a tool but they changed it to being a fool,
My family also call me a fool because they think I can’t be cool like a fool.
I wish I could be cool like my friends but i’m just a cool fool.
Music
music is everywhere, all around me
It flows in out and straight through me
It reminds me of my soul, love and beauty
I listen to it everyday, as if its almost my duty
music is apart of me, lives within my heart
every chorus, line , verse is a bewitching work of art
Music is an escape, shes a muse
she helps overcome every hit batter and bruise
Music is my passion, my rock, my best friend
and on the day the music stops, comes to an end..
The joy will leave me and ascend
to a happy place where the music will play once more
Morning Blue
Wake up to go school every morning,
Probably will be moody so I give everyone a warning,
Boring classes all day just waiting to go home,
So I can relax in my bed all day and go on my phone,
Weather is getting bad feel like I am gonna freeze,
All I am praying for is that my mam will get me a Chinese.
The Green
me and the boys enjoy the green
we play footy on the green its a daily routine
we hit the streets
and we find someone to mistreat
this is the end
its not a good trend
games are life games like rugby
i don’t mind taking a number 2 but it gets a bit ugly,
I like playing matches but i feel a bit sad but when i get a try i feel so rad,
when we’re getting clapped off i feel a bit bad but when we go inside that turns to sad,
I go home i play some PlayStation no ones on so i do some excercisin,
when i get back i get shocked by a surprise my dads home and he has some rice,
i tried it it tastes so nice but its missing something Im truly not surprised,
well that was my rhyme i hoped you liked it i tried my best well good night kid.
i cannot write a poem
some would say i’m so dumb
now you see I’m
already stuck
its like i’m trapped in muck
this poem i’m trying to duck
i’m just trying to get eight lines
I’m find something that rhymes
Woohoo Im done
like I dodged a gun
sure look it was fun.
Coffey
Ms Coffey is cool,
doesnt take any fools,
walking around the school,
coffee as her fuel.
she will have a duel,
if your cruel.
Shes an english teacher,
tiktok preacher,
if you reach her,
you will see shes some creature.
Soccer
I always have liked soccer.
Such a rough game.
Such skills required.
And popular.
The town watching.
On a Saturday morning.
When one day,
I found that I needed to withdraw.
It was the best thing to do.
Chin Grin
From a family known to win
my skills belong in a bin
i know to take it on my chin
no fear of me i still have my grin
they think skill is built in
but im happy in my own skin
Im still better than my cousin
i still believe my journey is about to begin.
Once Upon a Time, a Boy
Once there was a boy in ty
who somehow thought he was quite shy
he used to always cry
because he said that he liked a guy
this later turned out to be true
the guy liked him to
he said doo doo!!
BALLY BOYS
me and the boys come from Bally
playing soccer and hurling down by the alley
having a laugh with a lot of messing
making sure to keep the girls guessing
At the end of it all we can be sound
its not as if we have a bad background
Hi i am 16,
my life is quite a scene.
sports is what i like to do in my spare time.
being bad is quite a crime in the house of mine.
having fun is really fine.
sports keep my mind free.
relaxing time is good for me.
friends and family keep me sain.
biast people drive me insane.
i dislike school
it is not cool.
i find it cruel
they make us sit on stools,
and force us to duel
while calling us fools.
The system is quite old-school
and you’re better off if you just get home-schooled.
Its like a cesspool
of ignorant tools
that try and act
like they have the facts.
The Game
people love to watch this game
but others say it just causes pain
its said to be the fastest sport
to ever grace this earth
people say its great to play
hurling is the name of the game.
i cant write a poem
i want to go home
i like food my favorite is curry and rice
i think it cruel that we have to go to school
i dont like carona virus its nearly as bad as listening to miley cyrus