I Am What I Am
Dawn breaks to a new day following the shred of sunlight
Placed on the bed, through the shiny door
Kept voices brew confusion, chaos
No life without fear
How do I feel when there’s no meaning in that
Every day will stay the same, till
Tides are rushing into me, to me
But I am not broken
There is no fix
I am what I am, not my grades,
Not numbers that swallow others,
The thoughts that are constant in my head
I am the words I say, the way I dance,
The way I sing, the way I draw
Right now is not forever,
Unless we make it so
We all know this deep down
That we are just time that’s counting down
But this isn’t love
It’s just a firefight of hurt, mishap, chaos
And hurt
The higher I go further i’ll fall
So catch me if you can
Your empathy will dwindle like the stars
I lost grasp, the hold of my desire
But I will hold my heart so they can’t break it
Until then i’ll just fake it.
The Wrong Way
They shame people who do not know any better
Their goal is not education, it’s social credit
They don’t care about these things that matter
They know not of the society they wish to edit.
They try to be inclusive, they really do
But they don’t discuss the issues that affect me and you
They seem to be content with the status quo
They don’t realize the true foe.
It’s not the uneducated worker who doesn’t know better
It’s not the young lad whose been brainwashed by bigotry
Its not the migrant who only seeks a life with his basic human needs
It’s the people who benefit the most from the system that they all fail to critique.
There can be no social liberation without economic liberation.
When
A single being on this earth, this time, this place
Year of diseases and protests
The time of quarantine and movements
The year of the internet
The generation z
The generation of zombies
The year of change
A year of problems and pandemics
But when is this change
When will we be free
When will we accept others for who they are
Their skin, their gender, their sexuality
When will discrimination and judgement END
A world where if you weren’t straight, white or male you won’t be dead
The Grey Sky
The day slowly passing by
The students wait patiently
As they zone out occasionally
The clock ticks slowly
As the students grow more and more mopey
It has to be done
But the students rather run
Out of the dull dark school
The teachers talk on
The students wish they could walk home
But for now they are stuck in the class
They rather watch the grass
As it grows
Out in the dull dark field
They are glad to be gone
As their feet drag along
They can’t wait lie down
As they walk through the town
Out in the dull dark world
The day continues to drag
As the homework comes out of the bag
The students begin to dread
All of the work they have ahead
They finish their work eventually
Just to repeat it again the next day
In the dull dark room
A Dead Street
To look out your window and witness a dead street
Difficult to do anything and get back on your feet
Step outside and the few you see wearing masks
Struggle and struggle to complete daily tasks
Living days at risk of disease
Hard to live at all with any ease
Remaining at home feeling alone
With your teachers on pc laptop or a phone
Wake up every morning feeling sad or empty
Hoping for a day off but of work there’s plenty
Continue to live and trying to survive
But at the end of the day is this what it is to feel alive
Wake Up
Wake up in bed,
One thought in my head,
Get up and do it all or I’m taking a fall.
Productivity is everything to me,
Dormancy is my enemy,
When I sit myself down, I feel like a clown,
Not doing all I can is a tragedy.
Special Ones
There’s a few special ones,
Ones that make me feel lost in a sky full of rainbows,
Some that make my heart flutter around my body
Without them I feel lots of pain though.
I smile when I see them,
Laugh when I hear them,
And they make life better,
Like its always sunny weather.
I feel their pain,
And they feel mine,
Without them, I’m alone in the rain,
Without them, I’m lost all the time.
I talk to them and they talk to me,
I just want them to finally see me,
When I do, I will feel complete
Wake Up
Wake up in bed,
One thought in my head,
Have to do it all or I’m taking a fall.
Productivity is everything to me,
Dormancy is my enemy,
If I sit down I feel like a clown,
Not doing it all is a tragedy.
Walking around in my house,
Observant as a mouse.
Things to do here, there and everywhere,
Slowly falling to their inactive wear and tear.
Humanity breeds ambition, instinct, control.
So when we as students receive our orders,
We are on the border of boredom, as our true self never leaves its corner.
But when we are left to ourselves,
Nothing to do looking up all day at the blue,
We realise that without guidance, we have no control, instinct, ambition;
Only premonitions that we have all in our hands that we need,
Never letting ourselves be freed.
She
Her eyes are as beautiful as her heart
She is as intelligent as the Sun
She is beauty, she is grace
Her beauty is as raw as her smile
She can do what she wants
She can get anyone she wants
Yet she is unparalleled in her kindness
And yet she likes whom who is not
As good as her
Music
Music can leave strange taste on your tongue and a wild memory in your head,
with a couple notes played you are transported without a single word said,
Music can reignite a time forgotten long ago
Hearing that certain tune can even inspire tomorrow
Music can influence your heart, brain and soul
And for me that should be every song’s end goal
Music is so powerful it can dictate a whole generation
The Days
The days feel short,
And they keep getting shorter,
I think am prepared,
I feel like am trying to cross a border,
The end is near,
And it’s getting closer,
I hope I am guided to the right path,
And that I don’t fall when when it’s all over.
Love & Hate
I hate him and I don’t,
He gave me a lot, good and bad
He left and came back,
I feel like his burden not his son,
He says he loves me,
He hasn’t called in 6 months.
I Am
I am from the suburbs
I live in a big house
I am very privileged
But I have problems no one sees
Problems no one hears about because I know the view of me will be shifted
Adults think an ice cream is enough to have my moods lifted
My problems dismissed because I’m “only a child”
Adults too naive to accept my sadness
Think my life is sunshine and rainbows
Because they can throw money at my problems
But I don’t need money, I need a shoulder to cry on
Adults thinking all I need is a bed of money to lie on
I have no doubt I will be successful
But dismissing my mental health might leave me regretful
I don’t want to want to look forward to later life knowing I might not make it there
Happiness is seeming more and more unrealistic
It escapes my grasp by just enough to nearly make me give up
People think I am happy
But all these years I have just acted
So I ask myself
Was I ever happy,
Or just distracted
Untitled
They say they know how we feel
Yet all they say is that “corona virus is real”
We’re the ones who stay at home waiting,
This lockdown has us all debating
Wether to protest for our lives back
Or to stay at home and slack
We stay inside just to go for our 5km walk
But we just want to get back to our real lives and talk
Talk about how these days drive us crazy
And about how we’re all getting lazy
Where I Come From
I come from loving families and warm food
I come from TVs and warm beds
I come from friends
I come from school
I come from computers and games
I come from everything good
I don’t come from angry dad or junky mam
I don’t come from hard life or drugs
I don’t come from drink
But
I come from sadness and emptiness
I come from no motivation and boredom
I come from everything and I feel nothing
Separated
Separated. But not divorced
One family. But split into three
My sister and I being thrown around like rag dolls every second day
Because my parents couldn’t work it out.
Court dates after court dates
People say it must be class because I get double everything.
Double lives. Double the people you have to talk to. I just want a home
Lockdown
The lockdown is getting old
All the suicides, domestic abuse,
Suffering business’, homeless people
And our loved ones stuck in their homes
All because of three lockdowns
They said one would be enough
Two lockdowns later
Now the people have had enough
Everything
Everything
Happens for a reason,
Some ask
Why
I never had an idea of a career to pursuit
Then one day I was playing Football
Suffered
A bad injury
Which followed more to come
Thought it was over
Overtime this led to surgery,
After
I began to build up strength
Confidence was regained
Seeing the progression was enjoyable,
I then knew what I wanted to pursuit
Family
Wake up one morning wanting to chase a dream,
Everyone laughed at me and seen me as a meme,
My family were always here for me and guided me to the place I wanted to be.
I feel bad for the children that have no parents to speak to,
Slumped out on the sofa with a can or two,
Cigarette buds all over the floor, is there a point of chasing this dream anymore.
I am very grateful that my family are not like this,
But once again I feel bad for the children that house smell like drink.
Why am I Alive
I Don’t really care about your situation purposes
I know I got a mom but I Don’t know where my father is
Everybody asking me yo what the your problem is
I became stressed even though I am only a kid
Always come up to me with the truth never fake that
I’m the type that’s always making moves never laid back
Always say I’m falling ye I do take an impact
Every god damn word that I be saying I can take back
I just be complaining never really wanna rip off
Edges of my life that I really wanna kip off
I just be on top I’m the owner I am the boss
I’m working to achieve for the record that’s what I thought
I’m no handy man I’m not the best at doing retail
people faking drama just to double up in their sales
When it comes to loyalty I am never going to fail
Never going to fail
Emotions
I sometimes want to express my emotions
But then I feel like I’ll get a demotion.
Demotion from what you say
A demotion from my street name today.
I grew up having a nice family
But the area I live in is pretty raggedy.
I got lucky with the life I was born into
But I feel sorry for people that have no view.
My favourite thing do is play sports
Because this makes me stay out of court
I’m not saying I’m a bad guy
But if it wasn’t for my parents I’d be always high.
The Student Stares
The student stares
Thinks its unfair
Always bored
Head against the door
Barely surviving
Wants to go home
Watch tv, you’ll see
What it feels like
To be me
She Says
She says she loves me
But she don’t show it
She says she was scared
Which is why she cut me off
If you truly loved me
You should’ve talked to me
Untitled
I come from four-siders
Red copies
Glasses cases
And green hats
A clear sky
Grey town
And poetry assignments
Wake Up
Wake up desk bed
Wake up work bed
Wake up dread, bed
Is this is what it feels like to be dead.
I Plan
I plan on taking every title
I’m going to bury all my rivals
I keep my faith in god even though
I never read the Bible
I plan on going through every trial
I’m going keep stuff in the cycle
I’m going to do this on my own
I’m going to live like I’m on a throne
My Uncle
My uncle pat he wears a hat.
He is not that fat
He has a pet bat also has a rat
That was eaten by a cat.
He fills out a form from his dorm
But curiosity also killed the cat
Untitled
In these difficult times you don’t no whether the media is truth or blooming lies
Eventually there will be no pandemic and my life will be blooming epic
Out with my mates in the sun