Black Silence Cracks
Walking down the street in ur own space
Till a stranger randomly starts calling you out for your race
Wondering why no one calls out this discrimination
They scream BLM but you don’t see action in this nation
Telling you to go back to the place u were born
Teachers assuming u don’t do Irish and u just sit there torn
Just cuz my names different or I’m not white
Everyone stays silent knowing it’s not right
They say there’s no racism in this nation
But being scared when u hear sirens
isn’t just my imagination.
butterfly wings tear holes in my stomach
bleeding out worries I’m too worried to worry
my knee bounces out a beat my footsteps follow
towards the next class, one more just one more
i shiver and shake with something the cold is jealous of
tuck back my hair, don’t look up, just keep “learning”
But my heart is burning
My stomach is churning
My soul is yearning
You can’t stop the world turning
i’m trying I promise I’m trying
i swear the halls are shrinking
pushing me down
where has my breath gone?
deep down I know
to the place where all the panicked breaths go
to the classroom on the right
where my panic will live for forever and a night.
That One Is Me
I want to know,
Where people go,
To fall in love,
To be together as one.
When will I too,
fall and find you,
will you catch me?
I want to see.
If cupids’ exsist,
hearts would be kissed,
by arrows of love,
all from above.
Who will I find?
Will they find me?
Will they stay?
or stray away?
But before I go search,
there’s one more to see,
One more to love first,
That one is me.
I can’t place my heart in any interest
it’s like having a blindfold on all the time
concealing the lost smiles and bright eyes
people ask and wonder if she’s alright
she’s not, she’s says she’s fine
she longs for the light again,
wonders if she’ll make it past next week
she doesn’t until she’s told she has to,
told it gets easier, it gets better
but the blindfolds too tight,
she’s just moody or grumpy
stay off the screens, get out of your room
but she can’t
not until her blindfold is
I feel loved yet so hated
So affectionate yet so distanced
Honest yet such a liar
So real yet so fake
So safe yet so scared
Healthy yet so sick
So numb yet there is so much pain
I just want to feel ok.
you are beautiful.
although sometimes and not feeling accepted is what you fear
you are indeed beautiful,
and ugly will never be as near.
when you look into your mirror,
i want you to smile,
cuz what you’re looking at is amazing,
just think about that for awhile.
promise me to never be insulted by
short, tall, skinny, fat.
learn that beauty is different for everyone,
promise me your face will never make you sad.
being a teenager is hard, i know.
but life can be very wonderful
when you know yourself, love yourself
yes, you are beautiful.
School is a battle we all go through,
There are good times and bad times we all have too.
I don’t get it,
While I stand there
You looking at her hair
I hate her
I hate that she’s still around
I hate how I believed her
I hate how I still believe her
I hate how I hate her
I hate how I hate myself
I can’t forgive her therefore I can’t forgive myself
i come home from school just a little bit sad,
but it’s fine ‘cause my mum says it’s not too bad
apparently, i’m happy, i’m just overthinking
yet all i can do is feel myself sinking.
it starts off with digs, just a little bit sore
but it’s all fine, ‘cause i’ve felt it before
the words ring in my ears all day
but it’s fine cause it’s all just play.
my dad says i’m lucky, that i have to be grateful,
that i should use my voice and stop being hateful.
i’m not confident enough, well just speak up !
it’s all fine! you’ll be good when you’re all grown up!
most days i feel in over my head,
but it’s fine, i should just be happy i’m not dead
my ears always burn and my head always full
yet always i feel that bad pull
the tears then fall when no one can see
the only problem i have with the world is me.
Old Love New Love
how can you be so in love with someone who doesn’t care for you?
your love feels old but alas it is new,
as time goes on it seems to grow,
i know he will never feel the same though.
although i know i am enough,
my mind convinces me it is all a bluff,
how could he love me? how could he care?
with all these pretty people, how could i dare?
falling into this deep dark hole
his love brings hope and warmth to my soul
even though i know i couldn’t do the same,
i feel so lucky when i see his name.
how many other girls have played his game?
when ill be left heartbroken on my own,
i know for sure i wont take the blame.
Your Words Hurt
Being on drugs
Your words hurt
“You are good
You are strong
You’re a gift wrapped in song
But your life is screwed”
Your words hurt
I’ll throw up in your sink
But I get with one guy
And I’m no longer your prize
Your words hurt
I’m a slut
I’m a whore
You hate me for who I am
And what I did
But what you don’t see
Is that it wasn’t me
Your words hurt
As your friends put my head in the dirt
I scream and shout while they cover my mouth
You are the light in my life
And the love in my heart
I was crazy for you and I would die for you
But your words hurt
I cry for endless hours
And pray you’ll be mine
But when you ghost me and block me
it’s because of my crime
So I leave, I move to the next world
With drugs in my tummy
And drugs in my blood
I don’t wake up
Your words hurt.
Kindness,respect, equality is not always seen today,
In school, work, or even in your bed where you lay.
Imagine a racing car
you wouldn’t think that far into it
the feeling of being unable to stop
the feeling of being stupid non stop
sometimes i’d wish i was like the rest
being able to think clearly rather constantly in stress
crying for endless hours knowing i’m far behind
but nobody sees or notices it, my stress and emotions collide
i know it’s hard to understand but please give me a break,
being depressed and never at ease
I feel as if there’s so much at stake.
would be your fault.
They call it “sibling love”, but we never understand what it truly means.
I’m sick of not being able to wear certain items of clothing without getting sexualised by men,
I’m sick not being able to go out in any clothes without being sexualised by men,
I’m sick of not being able to go outside without the worry of being sexual assaulted,
I’m sick of not being able to go on runs alone at night without the thought of getting raped,
I’m sick of being a girl having to deal with all this i’m only 15 and i’ve to wear certain clothes because “men can’t keep it in their pants” why? this isn’t fair.
You’re not good enough,
People tell me
That day we went out,
I’m not a slag
But the amount of boys is a red flag,
filling a void of insecurity,
made whole by the shag.
I dont want to get a name,
but my body isnt the same,
as the skinny models on the front of the mag.
He tells me i look hot,
but the truth is i am not,
so about boys i will continue to brag.
The light has always shone
I never know what to say
i can’t remember anything every day
a few months ago things were so much simpler
but i was going through the ringer i just didn’t know
a part of me wishes i was that oblivious still
because every time i try speak my thoughts i feel crazy
thinking everyone secretly hates me gets too exhausting
i wish i could just disconnect
what id do to be back at those blurry nights
to be off my head without any worries
but now everything is so much different
my parents know everything but still can’t understand
i try say I’m unhappy
but they just say that can’t be true
in their eyes they do everything for me so how could i still be upset
i wish i had a reason to give them
i only keep on going because i have to
but I don’t know how much more of this i can take
i wish i could just get help
but that could never happen because they don’t believe me
as she sits there leaned against the wall
i realise why so many guys for her they fall
those piercing green eyes
i wonder if my love for her will come as a surpise
she is so lovely and so sweet
when i lay my eyes on her i try be discreet
i think it’s destiny our parents were neighbours
for her i would do child labour
the blonde under layer in her hair
i can only dream about me she will care
i hope one day we can be more than friends
my love for her will be until the end
this is a declaration of my love
i believe you fiath are a miracle that has been sent from above
When I spent time with you I felt free
When you asked me to go out with you
The excitement filled up inside of me
It all felt surreal, as if it was not true
It was flawless at the start ,
Every moment we spent together I felt,
all the memories like me cuddling you on the dart,
They will never not make my heart melt
You were the one thing that made me feel fulfilled,
but that night when you texted me saying you didn’t feel as u did
I felt as if a part of me had been killed,
on that wednesday evening i did’nt just lose a friend,
but a love i know that will never end.
Racing hearts, times running out
classes all day, you’ll succeed no doubt
everyone around knowing what to do
when i’m all alone not knowing where to get to
lawyers, authors, singers and artists
surrounded by people who hit their targets
as soon as we know it’s time for college
help me we say but know one to acknowledge
CAOs to fill out its easy they say
but we all know that we’re the ones who lost their way
Everyday i do the same
wake up, sleep then do it again
i walk the stairs to the apple room
it’s cold and damp just like a tomb
my life is like a cycle of never ending pain
for why am i doing this i get no gain
but in my dreams my life is free
i can run and dance and sing in the sea
i can fly off buildings just like a bird
or fight some goblins with my sword
but when i wake up it’s back to pain
and i have to do it all over again.
Colours are interesting
are stolen from their parents
to be classed worthy
for our own benefits,
A joke is so much more,
I want to show my peers that I am brave
tbh my life has felt like it falls apart
and then falls apart some more
and then keeps falling apart this whole entire god damn year.
high key can’t wait for it to be over
and if things don’t start to get better in 2021
im throwing major hands.
schools usually hella boring.
most teachers don’t care about us lol only some.
they ain’t making no effort.
i had to do an online dancing feis last night
and it was ass my toenails hurt so bad tmi but you’re welcome.
im gonna get blonde highlights soon cus my hair is boring
but that dosent mean I hate it I just need to spice it up a lil
add more flavour to my appearance 😳😳
but everyone else liked drinking beer.
i wanted to fit in, drink was my way in.
I am happy
i have friends
i have family
i enjoy school
i have space and hobbies
i’m enjoying life
happiness is upon me