Loreto Secondary School, Bray, Wicklow

Black Silence Cracks


Walking down the street in ur own space 

Till a stranger randomly starts calling you out for your race 

Wondering why no one calls out this discrimination 

They scream BLM but you don’t see action in this nation 

Telling you to go back to the place u were born

Teachers assuming u don’t do Irish and u just sit there torn 

Just cuz my names different or I’m not white 

Everyone stays silent knowing it’s not right

They say there’s no racism in this nation

But being scared when u hear sirens

isn’t just my imagination.

 

Butterfly’s Sting

butterfly wings tear holes in my stomach
bleeding out worries I’m too worried to worry
my knee bounces out a beat my footsteps follow
towards the next class, one more just one more

i shiver and shake with something the cold is jealous of
tuck back my hair, don’t look up, just keep “learning”

But my heart is burning
My stomach is churning
My soul is yearning
You can’t stop the world turning

i’m trying I promise I’m trying
i swear the halls are shrinking
pushing me down
where has my breath gone?

deep down I know
to the place where all the panicked breaths go
to the classroom on the right
where my panic will live for forever and a night.

That One Is Me

I want to know,
Where people go,
To fall in love,
To be together as one.

When will I too,
fall and find you,
will you catch me?
I want to see.

If cupids’ exsist,
hearts would be kissed,
by arrows of love,
all from above.

Who will I find?
Will they find me?
Will they stay?
or stray away?

But before I go search,
there’s one more to see,
One more to love first,
That one is me.

I can’t place my heart in any interest

Be it somebody or something
I’m just a person made of others
Stitched together with unravelling string
My head is always empty
Or filled to the brim
With thoughts of thoughts of others
And what’s behind their grin
I have a fear of being watched
But I can’t quite place why
Is it a fear of being seen
Or a need to run and hide?
Am I alone in a na ocean
Or a drop of water in a pond?
Too different to fit in
Or too alike to be genuine
I don’t always make the best decisions
Sometimes I need a helping hand
But if I ever reach out
Will anyone reach back?

The Blindfold  

it’s like having a blindfold on all the time

concealing the lost smiles and bright eyes 

people ask and wonder if she’s alright

she’s not, she’s says she’s fine 

she longs for the light again,

wonders if she’ll make it past next week

she doesn’t until she’s told she has to, 

told it gets easier, it gets better

but the blindfolds too tight,  

she’s just moody or grumpy

stay off the screens, get out of your room

but she can’t 

not until her blindfold is

untied 

Two-faced:

I feel loved yet so hated
So affectionate yet so distanced
Honest yet such a liar
So real yet so fake
So safe yet so scared
Healthy yet so sick
So numb yet there is so much pain
I just want to feel ok.

Beautiful

you are beautiful.
although sometimes and not feeling accepted is what you fear
you are indeed beautiful,
and ugly will never be as near.

when you look into your mirror,
i want you to smile,
cuz what you’re looking at is amazing,
just think about that for awhile.

promise me to never be insulted by
short, tall, skinny, fat.
learn that beauty is different for everyone,
promise me your face will never make you sad.

being a teenager is hard, i know.
but life can be very wonderful
when you know yourself, love yourself
yes, you are beautiful.

Battleground

School is a battle we all go through,
There are good times and bad times we all have too.

We put on make-up to hide our feelings,
so people won’t bully or laugh at your dealings.
Talk to someone about your dealings
and you will have a happier feeling.
No Planet B

I don’t get it,

I don’t understand.
We need to take action,
But your heads are stuck in the sand.
Listen to the science,
It can’t be denied.
You might not want to believe it,
But we’re all part of the tide,
The tidal wave that ruins lives.
All because you refuse to act.
You can make a difference,
you know you can.
We need every single person,
To be part of the plan,
The global plan to act.
With motivation, collaboration,
Negotiation, compromise,
We can stop our beautiful planet
From dying before our eyes.
Earth belongs to everyone.
We need her, she needs us.
We need to save her, we need to act.
There is no Planet B.
Stone Heart 

While I stand there

You looking at her hair

Me all alone
My heart turns to stone
I begin to ponder
Why was your bond so strong with her ?
What made her so perfect?
What makes me not worth it ?
All I had that she didn’t was you,
Yet now she has that too
You sit there and gawk
While I can’t even get you to talk
Was I all a blur?
Now you bow down to her , giving her everything  but frankincense and myrrh
Your friends now call me slurs
But for her sake ,
I’m happy you’re with her.

 

I hate her

I hate that she’s still around
I hate how I believed her
I hate how I still believe her
I hate how I hate her
I hate how I hate myself
I can’t forgive her therefore I can’t forgive myself

Sinking

i come home from school just a little bit sad,

but it’s fine ‘cause my mum says it’s not too bad

apparently, i’m happy, i’m just overthinking

yet all i can do is feel myself sinking.

 

it starts off with digs, just a little bit sore

but it’s all  fine, ‘cause i’ve felt it before

the words ring in my ears all day

but it’s fine cause it’s all just play.

 

my dad says i’m lucky, that i have to be grateful,

that i should use my voice and stop being hateful.

i’m not confident enough, well just speak up !

it’s all fine! you’ll be good when you’re all grown up!

 

most days i feel in over my head,

but it’s fine, i should just be happy i’m not dead

my ears always burn and my head always full

yet always i feel that bad pull

 

the tears then fall when no one can see

the only problem i have with the world is me.

 

Old Love New Love

how can you be so in love with someone who doesn’t care for you?

your love feels old but alas it is new,

as time goes on it seems to grow,

i know he will never feel the same though.

although i know i am enough,

my mind convinces me it is all a bluff,

how could he love me? how could he care?

with all these pretty people, how could i dare?

falling into this deep dark hole

his love brings hope and warmth to my soul

even though i know i couldn’t do the same,

i feel so lucky when i see his name.

how many other girls have played his game?

when ill be left heartbroken on my own,

i know for sure i wont take the blame.

Your Words Hurt 

 

Being high 

Being bi 

Being gay 

Being straight 

Being drunk 

Being on drugs 

Your words hurt 

“You are good 

You are strong 

You’re a gift wrapped in song 

But your life is screwed” 

Your words hurt 

I smoke 

I drink 

I’ll throw up in your sink 

But I get with one guy 

And I’m no longer your prize 

Your words hurt 

I’m a slut 

I’m a whore 

You hate me for who I am 

And what I did  

But what you don’t see  

Is that it wasn’t me 

Your words hurt 

As your friends put my head in the dirt 

I scream and shout while they cover my mouth 

You are the light in my life  

And the love in my heart 

I was crazy for you and I would die for you 

But your words hurt 

I cry for endless hours  

And pray you’ll be mine 

But when you ghost me and block me 

it’s because of my crime 

So I leave, I move to the next world 

With drugs in my tummy  

And drugs in my blood 

I don’t wake up 

Your words hurt.  

Amazing You

Kindness,respect, equality is not always seen today,
In school, work, or even in your bed where you lay.

Being left out is not always fun,
The bully is not the person in life who has won.
Remember your worth and the person who you really are,
do not lock up your emotions in a jar.
The feeling of inclusion is not always felt,
try and let your fear go away and melt.
The people who bully you and treat you badly,
are the jealous people and walk around sadly.
They may call you names and physically hurt you,
but it is also happening to other people too.
There are so many people who are there to support you if you ever need them,
no matter what has happened or the problem.
You are amazing, do not let anyone tell you otherwise,
do not always believe the rumors that are spread by lies.

ADHD POEM

Imagine a racing car

you wouldn’t think that far into it

the feeling of being unable to stop

the feeling of being stupid non stop

sometimes i’d wish i was like the rest

being able to think clearly rather constantly in stress

crying for endless hours knowing i’m far behind 

but nobody sees or notices it, my stress and emotions collide 

i know it’s hard to understand but please give me a break,

being depressed and never at ease

I feel as if there’s so much at stake.

 

Summer

 

blacked out

every other day
all summer long
trying to feel something
other than numb
after months locked inside
disguising it as fun
but how fun is it
calling ambulances
for your friends
who are seizing in a forest after taking
god knows what
and not knowing
if they will be okay
and how much of it

would be your fault.

Sibling Love

They call it “sibling love”, but we never understand what it truly means.

It’s someone who will always be there for you,
when your parents are there and gone,
It’s someone who although you may fight with continuously,
Will always come back and protect you if you feel in danger,
It’s someone to make you laugh, when you’ve had a rough day.
One of the few people you can count on to always be there for you, no matter what you’ve done.
Someone you are born to be with. Your built in best friend. The person your stuck with as soon as you wake up until you fall asleep again. The annoying one who never seems to shut up. But you’d never have it any other way
Sick
I sick of not being able to express myself without someone commenting on what it is i do,
I’m sick of not being able to wear certain items of clothing without getting sexualised by men,
I’m sick not being able to go out in any clothes without being sexualised by men,
I’m sick of not being able to go outside without the worry of being sexual assaulted,
I’m sick of not being able to go on runs alone at night without the thought of getting raped,
I’m sick of being a girl having to deal with all this i’m only 15 and i’ve to wear certain clothes because “men can’t keep it in their pants” why? this isn’t fair.
i’m sick of it i’m only a child i shouldn’t have to feel like this .
i’m sick of it all.
Don’t talk about it
Don’t think about it
If we show signs, they don’t care about it.
The big ‘It’.
As if to utter the names makes it all the more real.
To accept help is to wave the white flag of surrender.
So we let it fester.
Like the gangrenous, rotting wound of a young soldier at war.
We the young soldiers push away the nagging feeling and continue fighting our war.
And the wound grows deeper.

You’re not good enough,

You should act more like them,
Don’t stand out,
You should start exercising,
You cry too much,
Don’t eat all of that,
I listened and I fell down
But why should I listen,
I am good enough,
I am acting my own way,
I am unique,
I can chose how to live,
I cry and I am vulnerable,
I can eat what I want,
I listened but I stood up.

People tell me

My sweetest notes played from a shiney flute,
Chords echoing from a keyboard in utopic harmony,
Are what make me up.
“You’re so talented, you should be proud”.
The strike of a ball hitting the backboard of a goal,
The crisp sound slicing the air,
But the pride is soon dissolved,
As I creep back into a shadow of myself.
Overcome by shame.
When my report comes back, covered in success,
That’s not what I feel.
Because my worth cannot be managed by goals that are not mine.
Tear speckled pages caused my irrational nerves
Go by, diminished by my success!
Of course that is what I’m meant to feel.
“You’re just tired”, are the words uttered to me.
Sure,
It’s not real sadness without a cause don’t you see?

 

That Day

That day we went out,

And bought all the food we could eat.
We cried of laughter,
And danced to the music beat.
The people who surrounded us
judged us for what we did
To them it was unknown
We just acted like we were kids.
So I keep that day in my heart
All the laughter, fun & madness
Because we all didnt know
That was our last day of togetherness.
We still keep in touch,
Online & through call
But with this pandemic
I’ll see you all next fall.

I swear

I’m not a slag

But the amount of boys is a red flag,

filling a void of insecurity,

made whole by the shag.

I dont want to get a name,

but my body isnt the same,

as the skinny models on the front of the mag.

He tells me i look hot,

but the truth is i am not,

so about boys i will continue to brag.

The light  has always shone

 

Even on rainy days,
the birds have always sung
even when the wind tried
to scare them away.
But we have to take a break
from the sunny days,
we need a place
for flowers to grow,
so the birds have
some where to go.

 

Disconnected

 

I never know what to say 

i can’t remember anything every day 

a few months ago things were so much simpler 

but i was going through the ringer i just didn’t know 

a part of me wishes i was that oblivious still 

because every time i try speak my thoughts i feel crazy 

thinking everyone secretly hates me gets too exhausting 

i wish i could just disconnect 

what id do to be back at those blurry nights 

to be off my head without any worries 

but now everything is so much different 

my parents know everything but still can’t understand 

i try say I’m unhappy

but they just say that can’t be true 

in their eyes they do everything for me so how could i still be upset 

i wish i had a reason to give them 

i only keep on going because i have to 

but I don’t know how much more of this i can take 

i wish i could just get help

but that could never happen because they don’t believe me 

 

fiath 

 

as she sits there leaned against the wall

i realise why so many guys for her they fall

those piercing green eyes 

i wonder if my love for her will come as a surpise

she is so lovely and so sweet 

when i lay my eyes on her i try be discreet 

i think it’s destiny our parents were neighbours 

for her i would do child labour

the blonde under layer in her hair

i can only dream about me she will care 

i hope one day we can be more than friends

my love for her will be until the end 

this is a declaration of my love 

i believe you fiath are a miracle that has been sent from above

Broken Glass

When I spent time with you I felt free

When you asked me to go out with you

The excitement filled up inside of me 

It all felt surreal, as if it was not true 

It was flawless at the start ,

Every moment we spent together I felt,

all the memories like me cuddling you on the dart,

They will never not make my heart melt 

You were the one thing that made me feel fulfilled, 

but that night when you texted me saying you didn’t feel as u did 

I felt as if a part of me had been killed, 

on that wednesday evening i did’nt just lose a friend, 

but a love i know that will never end.

Life is Trash
I get it.
Things aren’t fine
Most of the time,
But don’t be blind
Open your eyes
For your a prize
That’s no one can win,
Take it in
Not your sin,
For you are perfect,
Every bit,
Even if your an addict
Or your shoes don’t fit,
So please be kind,
Keep in mind,
Your not a waste of time.

The Race 

Racing hearts, times running out

classes all day, you’ll succeed no doubt

everyone around knowing what to do

when i’m all alone not knowing where to get to

lawyers, authors, singers and artists

surrounded by people who hit their targets

as soon as we know it’s time for college

help me we say but know one to acknowledge

CAOs to fill out its easy they say

but we all know that we’re the ones who lost their way

Dream Tomb

Everyday i do the same 

wake up, sleep then do it again

i walk the stairs to the apple room 

it’s cold and damp just like a tomb

my life is like a cycle of never ending pain 

for why am i doing this i get no gain

but in my dreams my life is free

i can run and dance and sing in the sea

i can fly off buildings just like a bird

or fight some goblins with my sword

but when i wake up it’s back to pain

and i have to do it all over again.

 

Colours are interesting 

Everyone has their favourites
Most of them are different
But some are the same
You add bits of this colour to your life
To show its your favourite
A hair bobbin or a face mask
But if you like purple then you put it everywhere
I am one of those people I’m afraid.

 

Cruel World
We live in a selfish world,
Where innocent children
are stolen from their parents
At the reins of corrupt politicians
Where women starve themselves
to be classed worthy
Where we selfish humans murder innocent animals
for our own benefits,
But one thing is clear about us and it’s that people are bastards

 

A joke is so much more,

More than you think.
They make you laugh and smile
It’s laughs that I adore.
With friends and family,
Laughter breaks the ice.
Of my humour and personality,
You get a slice.
Sometimes I laugh so much,
I actually wee a little.
But it’s all worth it for the giggle.
My friends and I are so weird and funny,
everything is a joke.
For us i’ve lost complete and utter hope.
Brave

I want to show my peers that I am brave

That I won’t cave in the face of my fears
Sometimes it feels like I have everything to lose
I want to move forward but I can’t choose
What to do with my life
To make it matter, to have a purpose
So I live nerveless
To enjoy each day, before we are earth-less.

 

Hey

tbh my life has felt like it falls apart
and then falls apart some more
and then keeps falling apart this whole entire god damn year.
high key can’t wait for it to be over
and if things don’t start to get better in 2021
im throwing major hands.
schools usually hella boring.
most teachers don’t care about us lol only some.
they ain’t making no effort.
i had to do an online dancing feis last night
and it was ass my toenails hurt so bad tmi but you’re welcome.
im gonna get blonde highlights soon cus my hair is boring
but that dosent mean I hate it I just need to spice it up a lil
add more flavour to my appearance 😳😳

I was stalling DD,
When I tripped over my knee,
I was ice skating,
When I started shaking,
Everything went black
As I fell on my back,
There was a loud smack.
Had to go to Crumlin,
I was done in,
Turns out I just broke my back.
Second Year
In second year i had such a fear,
but everyone else liked drinking beer.
i wanted to fit in, drink was my way in.
i had my first can and acted like a fan.
It tasted mank but my friends called me a tank.
was my biggest mistake, felt sick on my face.
it’s now been two years and i still won’t touch beers.

I am happy

i have friends 

i have family

i enjoy school 

i have space and hobbies 

i’m enjoying life 

happiness is upon me