Expectations to meet and succeed
They will crush you for your own good
Expectations so great that even you can’t reach
They can get bring you success and a future
Expectations that not even a natural can surpass
You need to meet your very own great expectations
Expectations set by everyone else
I Come From
Sleepless nights fearing the day
Loathing the ping to a new message received
Forced apologies and being told it was a “joke”
Being called slurs and unloved
Being told to not hold onto the past when it’s the past that’s shaped me
Fearing the day to come out and be who i am
Being called her “brave little soldier”
Instead of son or daughter
Living just to spite those who hate me for being true to myself
Being called brave and inspiring for just being who I am
Being the very person I was always
Support and love
A tarnished past that’s being polished by the day
I Miss Home
I miss the dead walls, 15 papers thick
With a healthy layer of nicotine cream and trousers bursting at the seams.
Boreens, hidden rivers and hiding fields to run from oul fellas and dream teams of big teens.
And they were so tall.
She pegs away screaming; “cá bhfuil mo aintín?”
Poteen poured on open wounds.
Love in the bottle of big bucks black barrel, but a child;
Soft in the arms of addicts upon addicts and don’t touch the drink you’ll be just like your granny.
The devil. Bony, old and groaning. Running down south screaming “he does nothing but control me”,
Running from rehabs, hiding from healthcare.
Cirrhosis not quick enough to beat her lung cancer.
Fear of Speech
Laughter laughter shatter shatter
The silence shall always deafen you
As for breathing only stirs nothing but wind
And for speaking only stirs questions and doubt that keeps you caged in
Answer, answer! they tell you
All you mutter is nadda nadda (no, no)
Silence speaks words
But speaking only brings either confidence or tolerance
Laughter laughter – shatter shatter
He Sits at the Back of the Class
He sits at the back of the class, with all of his friends.
Acts like he knows it all, but it’s all pretend.
It’s 8:55, just waiting for the bell.
Waiting for the jokes and catcalls to end.
You want to speak up but don’t know how,
They only thing you want is for it to end now.
Finally, 9am, now the teachers in power
“Lads stop messing” and it’s all over.
Deep down you know, that’s it’s only a break
Then lunch time comes and now your sanity is at stake.
He’ll pick out anything to make a joke,
Try to say “stop” and you’ll feel like you choke.
There comes a time in everyone’s life
When life’s clock strikes fifteen or sixteen
When every parent starts to see you as an adult
And a child
It’s like my very own purgatory
Most of the time, I’m their little angel still.
But when the grass needs cutting or the dinner needs making,
That is when responsibility is of utmost Importance
I don’t know when this purgatory will end,
Probably when the grass is cut.
Useless Piece of Meat
In my mouth, my tongue felt a useless piece of meat
It flips and flops in my mouth as it tries to convey the million thoughts in my head
But still the message is lost in my stutters and mumbles
So I resign to silence and go along with being labelled quiet
Disregard what I want to say as it is easier to be quiet
For some people, words are able to stream out of their mouths like a flowing river
For me the words only dribble out of mine on it’s way to the gutter
Love and Hate
The hate I have for early mornings and new shoes,
Obnoxious boys and judgemental girls
The love I have for unexpected packages and laughing till I’m crying,
Sunny days and old friend.
The sadness I have lonely people and clothes now to small,
Agreements with parents and old memories now forgotten.
The anger I have abusive parents and discrimination,
Smug winners and sore losers.
Self Reflection and Love
I live in the countryside and have to live with myself so,
I want to be able for myself to know.
I want to love myself and be able to look at myself in the eye
Without feeling the need to cry.
As days go by and sun starts to dawn,
I want to be able to know I’m not the only one.
The only one who feels needs to change.
Through thick and thin even if I feel I need to be ranged.
I love who I am and who I’ve come to be,
Cause that is myself and I have to agree
What’s my purpose?
What am I doing?
Why am I here?
Who Am I?
I’m here for them
I’m here for those who love me
I’m here for those who hate me
I’m here for him, and her.
I’m here because they love me
I’m here because of them
I’m here for the last 15 years, when there was nothing that mattered more than me
I’m here because the gap I would leave is too big
I’m here because they want me here
I’m here because who will he hate if I’m gone?
I’m here because who will she love if I’m gone?
I’m here for them.
I’m still here which is a miracle
Since to me my life is only theoretical
My life isn’t sucky
Intact I’m quite lucky
I’m just lonely
And feel like a phoney
I want someone to be with me
But until then I’ll be as happy as can be
They pray four times a day, they pray five.
Who joins in unity when they need to survive?
Some won’t look at each other for a high five,
Some will take you down in a fast drive by.
What’s with the ignorance?
Why can’t we spread our wings like Icarus
And share everything like Saint Nicholas
My life was good,
Had a fun childhood.
But as I grew older,
This man came to me,
He sold everything I had,
When my vision was too blurry to see.
He’d sell water to a drowning man,
He will do whatever he can,
Just to ruin my plan.
Then I met this girl,
Named her sunny,
She lit up my life,
And made me see things that were once dark,
If only the sun would rise again,
I am tired of staring at the moon.
This Random Guy
This random guy chattin on the screen
Makes life seem like a lazar beam
Makes me think of Jesus and keem
Makes me want to turn into a demon
How has he done this to me
Makes me feel like strawberry cream
How’s had he tricked my mind
Makes me want to eat purple rice
I’m sitting here and I don’t know what to write
I drink sprite?
I’m 16 years old and I guess I’ve been bold?
My name is Ryan
And my dad’s name is Brian?
I watch a lot of movies, some say too much
But I don’t really care, I just give them a punch.
I play video games
And uhhhh I call people a lot of names
Sometimes I just feel like, quitting I still might
Why do I put up this fight, why do I still write?
Sometimes it’s hard enough just dealing with real life
The mysterious man
He was a fan
Until he became bad
And was very sad
He came to my house
Grabbed my granny by the blouse
Headbutted her in the head
Almost made her dead
Out in the fog
There lay my dog
The man with braids standing with a cold blade,
Is the reason why I’m not getting paid.
So I make music to blow up like an air-raid.
This is how we’re supposed to teach kids how to behave.
I am in the fog
I ate my dog
Her nan is my fan
But is a nan