The Cracks in the Wall
Staring at the cracks in the wall,
The segmented bricks look as though they are parts of my fragmented life,
Concealed by a patchy coat of white paint,
Covering the blemishes.
Staring at the cracks in the wall,
The partition between different lives,
Unaware of what lurks behind, passed by passer-by,
Oblivious to the twisty darkness behind.
Staring at the cracks in the wall,
But who is to blame them,
The wall displays a convincing facade,
Deceitful to the blissfully ignorant,
Those too ignorant to see those cracks,
Those too ignorant to see the cracks within themselves.
Weight
Early in an April morning,
I feel the weight of clothes on my chest,
The silence of the house,
The silence of emotion,
The silence of the car journey.
The weight feels heavier now,
The air is dead.
The immense weight of the coffin strikes me,
I feel the weight on my shoulder,
The weight of the dirt as it encases the coffin,
The weight of silence.
Free
They say our love is a sin
And rule us by their sacred book
So how will we ever win?
If when we hold hands in public
They always give us that look
Do they not realise we were born this way?
And that we have tried to pray it away
But of course it doesn’t work
And that’s when the shame begins to lurk
I simply wish to be free
From the hatred that’s being put upon me
Therefore i promise to fight
for those who cannot say “i do”
to the love of their life
My Gift, My Curse
You are the light in an apocrypha of darkness,
You are the end of the endless horizon.
You are the grace that dispels the mist.
You are the hope, my God given gift.
You are the excess to my delight.
The thought of your loss is my soul’s plight.
You are the love, or so a phantasm.
A single crack births a hellish chasm.
You are the gift, the relief of all woe,
You are the curse, mankind’s foe.
The Door was Closed
The door was closed and the pain
Just won’t go away.
I’ll miss you every single day
May is the month of summer and light
But this day just doesn’t feel right
Days and nights will fly by
But you will always be with me
And you never flee my heart.
Number 1 Supporter
There are many things I could say
To these Ty students on their half day
Your youth is important and supposed to be fun
But that goes hand in hand with your education
If life’s getting you down and you’re sick of taking crap
Latch onto your mates through the comfort of WhatsApp
Despite what you think, the teachers are in your corner
And start close to your family as they will always be your number 1 supporter
Falling
Where’s the line between an emotion and personality?
At what point does sadness take control,
Make your choices for you,
Isolate you,
Hold you back?
I have become a sad person,
Not a person who is sad,
I don’t know what a happy version of me would be,
All I have is an escape,
Watch a film,
Play a game.
It is what I decide to do that will bring me back,
To the person that my mother knows,
Every now and again, I have to leave my comfort zone,
It’s a process that I’m willing to try,
Help someone,
Talk.
The fall down the well has lasted years,
But the longer I fall the further down I go,
Now I have to grab a wall,
Not even on my own,
Just put a hand out,
Maybe I can be happy,
Maybe I am good,
Maybe there is a way back up,
I just need a little push.
Crying
I don’t feel part of this world
Where humans just forget their own?
Teens walking by, glued to their phones
Never caring, Never thinking of the people beyond
Their life is just Facebook likes
And their days spent on pages of girls
While there is a father out there, crying too
But not about girls, his own daughter
Snatched by those men, who call themselves rebels
Only hearing her voice, “Help….”
Her mother moves, in her grave
Her mind’s eye full of tears
Everyday families are ripped apart
But people don’t care, and that is that
“Just give ’em some food” and leave them be
And forgetting everything for that party tonight
Reminded only on that funeral night
When no one is there, no one alive
Crying
Crying
Crying
Together
What you’d really miss,
Is the hug and the kiss,
That tiny piece of love you feel,
That tiny piece of bliss.
Lockdown has affected us all,
No matter who you are,
We’ll get through this together,
We’re the strongest by far
Workshop Rap
The world is so damaged, we’re all so clueless
All these politicians debating on matters
It’s useless,
The people across the world show so much hate,
We got people protesting in street on top of crates,
We’re single handily responsible for animals going extinct,
Children are seeing their favourite animal fade away with a single blink,
People are being blamed for the colour of their skin,
Peoples heart are looking really thin,
We are disgracing the beautiful planet that we have been blessed with,
We are so blinded by our problems with grit.
I Say
I say I will but I don’t, I say I am going somewhere but I won’t,
I am still, stopped, not sure what to do.
I say I’ll put in the work but I never do.
I want to become this something great and do well in the world,
Give back, that’s all I want to do;
But the pressure, the amount of work that I must do is like a fear;
One that I can’t seem to conquer, one that cannot be ignored.
As you read this poem you will realise that I never said can’t or that I am strong enough
But my fears have a fear off their own and that’s me conquering them.
I Am
I am big, I am strong yet I feel so small.
My voice is loud and proud though I feel I make others queasy.
The knowledge I possess and the words I finesse in my head sounds gold
but within pen and paper my words are a mumble, a fumble, a stumble, a heavy thought stutter.
I think myself great but greatness is far.
Through the outwards speech may my dream of confidence be achieved.
Glimmer of Light
I see that glimmer of light
But this tortuous tunnel engulfs me,
I tell myself that I won’t stop and will try to fight
But they yearn for failure which they hope to see
Against those odds I finally succeed
Now they yearn to be my friend,
I talk to them and say follow my lead
And you will find success in the end.
Life
Life is horrible.
That just a fact
Normal is being different
That just the truth
Be book smart doesn’t mean your intelligent
That just hard work
Every day is different because it is new day
That just choice
Being stuck inside is the new normal
That just horrible for everybody
Every person in the world is selfish
That just truth that people don’t want to hear
Life is filled good thing and bad things
That just focus good is a lie
The bad just as important
Shapes who we’re are a human is flawed.
Which is the greatest weapon we have is our mistake
It shows learning and we are changing
The Hurlers Grip
Love will grab you with a hurlers grip,
Using the hurley of pain,
It is only when you accept to love,
Can you be free from the hurlers grip,
And start to feel the touch of freedom,
But live with the knowledge of knowing how you can be a victim,
Once again,
Of the infamous hurlers grip,
For what is love without the wrath of pain.
Quarantine
Life is currently devastating.
All it’s doing is demonstrating the struggles of being all alone and locked up at home
All I’ve got to do is spend time on my phone, trying to take myself back to times that are gone.
Wondering if they are gone for good or done for now.
Hoping that this all goes away somehow.
Every Day
Every day in lockdown is an endless blur
Streets empty and a drive in my mams car is pathetically the highlight of my week
Too cold to go out, but too damaging to stay in
But hey what would a white middle class 16 year old male have to complain about
My mind, my issue
Bobby Sands
Bobby Sands the king of kings,
He’d wear no convicts uniform,
Nor meekly serve his time,
He lasted 66 days on hunger strike,
Gone at the age of 27,
A former poet and legend to all,
He left a legacy, Bobby Sands
Get Out
Get out of my head,
Listen to what I’ve said.
Get out of my life,
I’m alone with no strife.
We used to be close but
I don’t know who you are anymore
And dancing with a broken heart,
Is the best form of musical art
Trapped
Wake up, wishing that I didn’t
Going through the motions, acting like I’m flippant
People always tell me how I got everything
I ever need
That I can’t be sad or depressed
But I ain’t ever near my best
I’m trapped
But it’s not physical it’s emotional
Every day I’m told how to act
I’m told I’ve got to display tact
But every day I’m more and more feeling like I’m attacked
I’m trapped.
Lonely
Lonely world working on your own,
You don’t meet many friends on your path,
To success, to victory ,to greatness,
Keep working in silence,
Let your actions be your voice ,
To conquer what lies in front of you
God
God is dead. But I swear it wasn’t me, he just kicked the bucket.
There was nothing I could do.
I want to have an omnipotent cosmic daddy.
Where can I find one?
If I stand on a mountaintop, and scream to the sky, will he call out,
“My god your loud, what do you want, a candy bar? Here you go.”
That would be nice.
Alas.
The Say
They say we’ve got it easy
That everything is just nice and breezy
Because when someone says things are fine
That isn’t true all the time
If someone tells you how they feel
The words aren’t always real
And that is just fine
Because in this day and age
Its not always in a straight line
Its not that simple
So be nice to everyone
Because no matter how they look
Inside they might not be having fun
The Zoo
Life still goes on,
Staying home,
No sport,
No school,
No life.
Numbers gone up,
Life on pause,
No sport,
No school,
No life.
Opening up,
Then closing down,
No sport,
No school,
No life.
Lockdown Life
When will it stop?
Or rather when will it start?
No sport, no shops, no restaurants, no noise, no life
No children in the street, no friends in the backseat
And the news. The NEWS.
Covid, Covid, numbers, Covid, Deaths, Covid
“It’s the new normal”, “Cocooning”, “Wet pub”, “Contract tracing”.
All these phrases created for these “Unprecedented” times.
When will it stop?
Or rather when will it start?
Today
Lazing day today
Logging into google classrooms
Leaving early and joining late
Learning the habits and curious mannerisms of my parents, siblings
From welcoming the first lockdown, a welcome break from a year of growing pressures to
Fearing what public health measures that will further curtail our Winter, Spring, Summer?
Wasting time, stuck on trains of thought without a terminus
Wishing to return to the boring rhythm
Wanting life to fall back into a monotony, heretofore unappreciated even detested
Wanting an end dreading this isolation
Why?
Why are you, the way that you are?
Why don’t you smile when others laugh?
Why you laugh when others cry?
Why you control everything around you?
How you feel? How you think?
But thinking’s harder, but feelings easier,
So you take control of what you feel.
My Thoughts
Happy she the reason I be losing all my stress
I feel sometimes I just needa take a rest
Cuz this world we living ain’t right
Only half of us is blessed
Some live in poverty and some live in embarrassment
Some got a perfect life but they always the most arrogant
Looking down on others like how you don’t have what I got
Maybe it’s cuz you grew up in rich house and you had a lot of education and encouragement, everybody would be the equal if we all got the same love and nourishment
And this coming from someone who’s had an easy life
But at least I recognise the pain some people goin through
They stuck in a broke cycle like their feet are glue and we expect em to get out as if we knew
My bars make so much sense they make euros please don’t hate I’m just tryna share my thoughts And illustrate how my brain connects the dots and if you listen to this it means a lot
Stuck
I’m sitting at home,
As if I’m stuck in a dome.
What happened to normality?
We’re stuck in abnormality.
Of all the dimensions,
We are stuck with the most tensions.
Imagine the luck,
We’re stuck.
Life
Life is horrible
But you treat people is important
Don’t Judge people
On Race,
Gender,
Sexuality.
Judge people on them with treat people and personality
That just a fact.
Here I Am
Here I am, watching TV,
Listening to Varadkar’s speeches in Dublin City,
Banging on about how we should all get along,
And how things will get better,
And how we should all just stick together,
But how can we stick together when we are all so far apart,
When will I get a say in all this,
When will I get to play my part,
When COVID is gone everyone will be relieved,
But when politicians are gone everyone will be at ease
I Want
I want to leave,
Escape and go overseas
Feeling trapped in my own mind,
Seems like everyone is blind.
Shut myself off so words can’t affect me,
In my head a screaming banshee
My opinions fall on deaf ears,
Generations saying were supposed to be pioneers.
The World
The world is locked up,
Everyone’s cooked up,
Boredom is everywhere,
Depression is always there,
Online school isnt cutting it,
And no one’s discussing it.
Glimmer of Light
I see that glimmer of light
But this tortuous tunnel engulfs me,
I tell myself that I won’t stop and will try to fight
But they yearn for failure which they hope to see
Against those odds I finally succeed
Now they yearn to be my friend
1 out of 200
Hours upon hours everyday for what?
A tiny chance at success.
Up at dawn, going to the pitch by yourself,
Back home before heading to school.
Going to bed early while your friends are out partying,
You ask yourself “Is it even worth it?”.
They say only 1 out of 200 your academy players make it professionally,
Well make sure you are that 1.
When I’m Free
When I’m free
On a day soon to come,
I’ll grab all my things
And I’ll up and leave.
I’ll head for the hills
I’ll travel far and wide
To where no one can find me
And I have all of life’s thrills
Once I thought I was there
In the land of Golden Shine
Where the sun split the stones
ANd the sand filled my hair
A fleeting thought in a muddled fantasy
The moment faded from my mind
Soon Ill be there and soon I’ll be free
but for now all I do
Is dream
Wake Up
Chase your dream.
The people who don’t believe headed downstream.
Build yourself and your self-esteem.
All for all and one for me.
Never give in.
Always get up.
This one is for you.
Where you will be on top.
Something Switched
Confident, outspoken, kind that’s how I was,
Something switched inside of me and I still don’t know the cause.
Its like every day I wake up with a warm bed and a family,
But that doesn’t even help, I have a screw loose or maybe one fell out of me.
I cut people off, I stopped being a sheep,
Realized bad influences, it really wasn’t that deep.
If you hurt me, I cut our ties,
This seemed like the right move but it’s wrong so I apologise.
Teenager
I hate this,
It’s boring, crap, intimidating,
I feel as if with each passing day
My attention span is diminishing.
To light the furious flames of freedom,
I must first get through this.
But how can I?
Each day feels like a new reason to say goodbye.
But I persevere.
I get up, I do my work, I do what I do to get by,
In the hopes, the promise of freedom isn’t a lie.
New Chapter
It’s been tough these last few years, Gathering new thoughts and conquering fears.
Messing about in the school halls and chatting teachers back, I don’t believe I was like that way back.
But that horseplay had stopped, a new chapter has came, now I have a chance at my desired fame.
I Wonder
I wonder how somebody so young can know the means of nothing
Why the pain and suffering of an overthinking mind can be so numbing
Why full of potential and life open for opportunity does a kid bow down to depression
Everything lies in front of him blinded by oblivion, he doesn’t seek for liberation
Destiny is not a thing
Just a series of decisions
An over thinkers best friend
Next to his enemy oppression
Every outcome accounted for, who knows maybe one day “nothing” can be fully explored.
As I Sit
As I sit and think about the fun times we could be having,
And all the time we could spend laughing,
But instead we sit at home with nothing to do feeling like we are all alone.
When we all feel crap the least we could do is pick up the phone and call a friend
Because we all can’t wait for this to end.
On My Own
Doing it on my own,
Ideas and hard work,
I’ll be on top soon,
Whatever it takes,
While it may seem strange
It’s what I want to do,
Agreeing with ideas,
Keeping my own bottled up,
Amen.
The Pandemic
I’m scrolling aimlessly through my phone in bed,
I peer up at the alarm clock and its 4am again,
This whole pandemic is making my life feel hollow,
The riots, the deaths the world is getting hard to swallow.
I think about my situation lying here in my room,
It’s the one part of life that isn’t doom and gloom,
Maybe the reason its late isn’t that I’m a disgrace,
It might because it’s the only place I feel truly safe.
Man Up
Your family member has a heart attack, man up
Your mental health is slowly deteriorating, man up
You miss having a father figure in the home, man up
What is “man” about not feeling
Teenage Life
Young love,
It all seems good,
Until she leaves you,
And you don’t have a clue why,
Your friends laugh, they all laugh,
Just a bit of craic,
However deep down,
It’s the broke life not the good life.
Carrig
Carrig is a place where dreams are made,
Carrig is a place where dreams could fade,
Carrig is a place that I call home,
Carrig is a place quite similar to Rome,
Carrig is a place where things can happen,
Carrig is a place that doesn’t require a caption,
Carrig is a place where love can occur,
Carrig is a place where it can be all a blur.
She
Laying in my bed,
Wondering if she thinks about me,
She’s all I think about.
When her name pops up on my phone
I want to be with her alone,
That cheeky smile of yours,
Thinking about you while I do my chores,
When I see you you blow my mind,
You deserve to be wined and dined
My Life
My life’s path has been set by people in my past
Always saying I would have a blast
My life is being tracked by the Big Brother
I hope I do well for my mother
My life has been set in stone
And I must do it alone
My life must be perfect on social media
Always above the median
My life is obsessed with video games
Escaping the reality and escaping the blame
My teenage life is supposed to be the best
However I don’t feel blessed
Sport
Pouring sweat
Aching muscles
Gasping lungs
Broken bones
Anxiety
Sleepless nights
Endless responsibilities
The harsh reality of sport
Friday Night
Friday night has come along, me and the boys about to go off.
Got the crisps, got the chocolate got the confidence to win.
Pandemic? Pfffff that won’t stop us from hanging out.
Got the party going, although not physically with each other
We enjoy each other’s company on the PS4.
People say it’s a waste of time
But I don’t think having good times with your friends is a waste of time.
The Sweet Summer Vibes
The wet hair
The darker skin
The drink till we can’t walk
The no worries
The freedom
The late nights
The long cycles
The friendships
The heartbreak
The adventures
Sleep
I’d like to go to sleep
And if I sleep it will be deep
While fast asleep I’ll surely creep
In and out of dreams
And in my dream
I’d probably scream
Cause it would seam
That those who deem
A scream to be a scheme
Phone
Porridge is being microwaved, get my phone
Watch tv for a rushed 10 minutes, bring my phone
‘Camera’s on please’, press the button, hide my phone
Teacher’s talking, textbook pg.167, put down the phone
Half the questions done? Check the phone
It’s too quiet, get some music on, use the phone
Small lunch, 15 minutes of nothing, stare at the phone
Next class, repeat, next class, repeat
Big break, what’s for lunch, google it on the phone
Two more classes to freedom, being able to use my phone downstairs, that is
Pick from a selection of the following activities: watch tv with the phone, play piano with the phone, play chess on the phone.
What time is the start tomorrow, timetables on the phone
At last, put it in to charge, the phone
Repeat these steps each day for the month of February, please.
Lockdown
Lockdown is here,
We all have to disappear,
All go home.
And log onto Google Chrome,
Homework all day,
Having no Birthday,
Overall we don’t have t that bad,
Can’t be angry at the few lockdown months I’ve had
The Whistle Blows
The whistle blows
And is like a gun
Signalling the beginning of war
With warrior against warrior
To fight till the last minute
To fight for every ball
Hoping to get the winning goal
When the ball hits the net
The game isn’t over yet
We fight till the last breath
All a Hoax
Some go drinking, some do drugs,
Some on the sesh and some in pubs,
The want for attention and the need for fame,
Image, status, all the same
So after class, go on the social stage,
And load up your profile page,
Count your followers, likes on posts,
But after all, it’s all a hoax
The Home of Munster Rugby
The east and west stands peep over the houses
As I walk towards the ground
The smell of burgers and chips fill the crisp air
As the buzz of the match builds and builds
The roars of chatter, and chants and also get your programs ‘ start to get louder
The clicks of turnstiles churning
The ques for the pubs
The east terrace getting the songs going
Mrsc starting stand up and fight
As the fields starting coming from the east terrace up the stands,
You realise this is what a proper European day feels like
Rollercoaster
Its like a rollercoaster. It’s full of emotions regret and then a huge thrill then more regret.
Feeling lonely then you get a text from the girl you’d die for
And it’s made your day but then you start to over think,
You get so nervous you nearly forget to blink.
Then when you’re finally allowed out,
You have to distance yourself from the bros
And it doesn’t feel the same and you mentally feel way better.
Feeling down missing your sports.
You have to try and pick up your crown cuz you’re a king
Even though you may not play on the wing,
You still do your own thing.
You may not be a superstar but your better than any car
I Picked Up
I picked up the ball,
After we lost the maul,
I picked up my dads belt,
He left because of my mental health,
I picked up the hurley,
The ball went over, surely,
I picked up a penny,
Then I sip on my henney,
I dropped my weapon,
Then I ascended to heaven.
Same Routine
Same routine everyday,
Wanting to go out and enjoy the day,
Alas we are kept at bay,
By the virus ruining our way
The Game
The balls thrown in
The clash of the ash
As The players crash
The crowd roars
As the forwards scores
A full Croke Park
In the dark
A dirty shoulder
He falls like a boulder
It keeps getting colder
Lockdown
Lockdown is pain
Coronavirus is pain
Not being able to see people I care about is pain
Almost everything in my life right now is pain
All that can be done is wait
Waiting is key and waiting is all we can do
Don’t worry all will be fine
That’s what people tell me
A Hit
Bet I could still make a hit
Be better than most of these pop songs
Flashy cars and trashy girls in thongs
It all sounds the same nowadays
Autotune choruses and catchy melodies
Money in your face, creates a fake chase
For that happiness that’ll fill
The pain you try to kill.