Beaufort College, Trim Road, Navan, Co. Meath

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The tears are here

Hanging by an invisible force that keeps me from collapsing.

I try not to look so weak,

But I feel broken all the time.

 

The impassive expression

As I face the enormous sea of ​​teenagers in the main hall.

With all the noise of voices,

I hear silence.

The reflection of my inner self.

Nothing else.

 

The boys in their threatening poses stare at me through the filthy lenses.

I don’t look around.

Focused in getting somewhere.

Anywhere.

My feet move instinctively to a single bench at the end of the hall.

 

The easy-laughing girls greet me briefly

And then I’m invisible again,

Like a ghost hovering over the caramel bench.

Through the fog, everything is muffled.

And there is so much cold.

Even with all the layers of clothing covering my weakened body.

 

20 minutes.

The shrill sound of the school bell.

The voices growing at the sound indicating the end of the short break.

And soon I am on the stairs wishing to disappear among the various bodies fighting for space.

 

The walls of the second floor are made of glass,

And the boys and girls are crowed in the corridor,

Waiting for the last class of the day.

 

I am looking down.

A thousand thoughts envelop my stormy mind.

How many seconds will it take before my body crush against the ground?

Will my life pass before my eyes like a bad movie?

 

The thought does not last for more than 2 minutes.

The classroom smells of something rotten And Miss Burn has a frown on her mature face.

 

She runs over in her own speech and her look tells us that she would like to be anywhere else,

Except here.

 

The time inside the tiny room is dull and each breath of air seems to weigh a ton.

The pen stuck between my icy fingers wanders across the grid paper,

Noting the content that will be forgotten as soon as I go through the exit door.

When I will finally be able to breathe without feeling overwhelmed.

Without the looks of judgment and banal conversations.

Just me and the huge void in my chest

And another ton of harmful thoughts.

As it should be.

 

Who I Am

 

I always grew up, knowing I was different.

And stuck around people who weren’t that ignorant.

I would wake up most days thinking how to cope,

But my mother cured the pain with happiness and hope.

Was surrounded by people who would name and shame,

Even though they were the type with their brains stuck in a game.

I finally got older and comfortable with myself,

But never had friends who helped with my doubt.

With the age that I am I go on day to day,

And no matter how hard it gets I’ll look past the grey.

And even though my mother was the one that I had,

I don’t know how to tell her ‘I don’t know who I am’

 

In a World

 

We live in a world that’s so corrupt

We need to destroy and reconstruct,

Rich steal’s from the poor

And poor fights amongst the poor,

People of religion have the same values

But because they worship different god’s they want to devalue,

Boys want to play with girls like it’s a game

Girls want to be with multiple boys for the fame,

We go school that are like factories where programmed to be machines

And all we have is our dreams.

 

Mother is Calling

 

Mother is calling

She has been

For years.

Her screams and pain fall on

Deaf ears.

Mother is sick

She needs your

Help.

Sea levels are rising and animals are

Dying.

Time is running out, but mother’s children are filled with

Doubt and greed.

They don’t care, not now and not before

Mother is calling

Listen.

 

Cherish

 

Some people don’t appreciate what they’ve got

They treat their mother and father like snot

Till one fatal day their mother passes away

The child realises that all those moments wasted on awful behaviour

Could have been cherished and savoured from kindness and respect

Please remember family is important, so treat them in a way that’s accordant

You never know when they might leave today, tomorrow or next year

So cherish the moments that you guys will share

 

Changing Times

 

When I was younger my dad left, I only had my mam

So she’d do everything for me.

I’d ask her to clean me so she did.

I’d get tired and ask her to carry me so she did.

I’d was too small to get dressed so I’d ask for her help so she did.

I’d was too small to reach the top shelf so I’d ask her to reach so she did.

But now I’ve grown up and don’t ask for help.

She asks me to do stuff because she’s getting old and sore.

She’d ask me to clean and I did.

She’ll ask me to carry shopping so I did.

She’ll ask me to mind my family so I did

I use to ask for help and she did

And now that she needs my help,

So I do what she needs.

 

Today

 

People taking drugs like mugs

What world are we living in

Kids growing up with violence

Women not feeling safe

So many people homeless

A lot of racism

People getting murdered

So many crimes

How can we stop this

 

Changed Man

 

From looking at the sights

To starting the fights

 

From praying with my hands

To opening the hands

 

From boxing in the club

To going with my mates down to the pub

 

From caring about me looks

To throwing the hooks

 

I’ve changed as a man

But I’m still proud of who I am

 

Growing Up

 

I started off small

But now I’ve done it all

 

From playing football in the streets

To getting messy in the sheets

 

From saying hello to my friends

To fighting in the ends

 

From covering my mouth from the smoke

To asking my friend for another toke

 

I grew up, things changed

They will never be the same

 

I’m not proud of who I am

I used to be a big football man

 

But now here I am, vaping in the toilet

Who is this young man? Why’d I spoil it?

 

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I came into school thinking I was cool, found out I was just a fool

Then got suspended from school

 

Hopped into my ma’s car, realised I had taken it too far

Turned on the radio and listened to JLO

 

Got home jumped into bed, I think there is something wrong with my head

It’s time for me to change

I feel like I’m deranged

 

The Battle

 

Everybody having a

Fight on the pitch

Trying to get the ball

Off of the other team

To score a point

And everybody trying to

Show the other team that they are better

Than them and win more games

 

I Can Feel

 

I can feel the heat rising

Everything is on fire

Today is a painful reminder of why

It can only get brighter the future you put it behind ya

 

This Life

 

I could’ve been in the pitch doing rainbow flicks

But instead I’m in the trap with this Rambo

I didn’t chose, this life chose me

My mum hates it but my friends don’t

This life is peak and I know it’s the streets

So let me tell you how my friends roll

I’m in Navan with this fifteen inch

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