Beyond Butterflies and Beehives
Don’t tell me you’re only sixteen
Don’t tell me you’ve no clue about love
Don’t tell me you agree
Don’t tell me you’ll sit back and agree
That you can’t yet fathom
What it feels like to love someone
When your heart stops
At every brush of hands, every brazen smile
Don’t tell me you agree
That stiff dinner-dates, and sleeping on either side of an ice wall
Is a level of love so deep that your sixteen year old heart
Cannot yet understand
Don’t tell me that you haven’t a clue;
That none of us will have a clue
Until we’re beyond laughing and stolen kisses
Beyond butterflies and beehives
Until we’re confined by silver wedding rings
To a cold corner of the world
Staring across an shadowy dinner table
At two snotty kids and a complete stranger.
Am I good enough?
A thought constantly racing through my mind
Why don’t they like me
The problem can’t be them
It has to be me.
I’ll change myself
To suit her needs
Break my back to get her to like me
Cause she is everything
And I am nothing
I try and I try but she doesn’t say a word
Maybe that’s just her I think,
But around others she can’t stop talking
So it’s me.
I change to be like her friends to get her to talk to me
One sentence, two at best
A glance if I’m lucky
Why can’t I do it?
What is wrong with me?
Pitiful excuse for a human.
Punch punch punch,
No one will see the bruises
A punch for everything I do wrong
For everytime she doesn’t respond
I deserve it.
Cause I’m happy I am,
No one else will have me
So she can do anything
Inside I am breaking
Placing all my worth on her validation
But she’ll never love me, not even like
After all the tears I’ve shed for her
And times I’ve tried for her
All the regection and heartbreak
I give up.
Now I am angry
Furious, enraged, incensed.
How dare she do that to me
What right did she have to make me question my self worth
To ignore and kill my hope,
She does not have the right to do that
I am done with that toxic rubbish
I will use my anger and sharpen it into spears, but not to attack
I am amazing, loyal, kind
And nobody gets to question that.
I am worth it
They singled her out because the others had bodies like pins
Wrote articles titled 4 girls five chins
“Little Mix, More like Pic ‘N’ Mix”
They said “Tight pants aren’t for fat chicks”
She’d never seen herself as wrong
Til the tabloids said she didn’t belong
They told her to take up less space
Said the girl group had a “chub case”
She left the group with a heavy heart
For a new chapter in her life to start
Now Little Mix won’t ever be the same
And the tabloids, trolls and scumbags are the only ones to blame
We’ve traded grace and embraces
For floor space and suitcases
Trees for fast food
Oxygen for unquenchable appetites
Meanwhile,we are hungry for reality
Not artificial fame or fortune
Or any other toys of the world
But for love, peace and joy
And this can’t be replaced by
Semi-dirty money from consumers
That paid for your mansions
But you can’t enjoy it as it weighs on your conscience
24 hour news that exploits and abuses
The most sensitive stories, making lies out of lives
All on the name of info and publishing
How can any of this nourish our lives?
A child without the will to live
A school without help to give
A friend who’s never there
A boy with too much love to share.
A life not worth living
A heart not worth giving
All the time, you deny it.
A jump that looks so easy
A life, extremely unpleasing
A family, mislead
A child, almost dead
That’s how I see my strife
Someone please end my life.
A heart filled with sand
floating in turbulent water.
Gaze chained to the ground,
drowning in waves of thought.
burning inside an unscathed body
fighting to be free.
Hidden by a smile 🙂
The rat nibbles on the taut rope.
The next day, another rat joins the first.
They nibble on the rope.
The following day two more rats join the pair
And they naw on the string
A break up,
A maths test,
An argument and a regret.
They all naw on the loose rope.
The rope snaps,
But I hold on.
From inside my home,
I can shelter away,
In lockdown, Flies by, yet another day,
But it’s not easy to hide,
From the newspapers with Tragedies inside.
Corona hit fast as lightning,
For all those whose lungs were tightening,
The drip-drop of the IV Drugs,
While doctors try to look for more scrubs,
The empty corridors of schools still stay,
Where my desire of a’s in June have gone astray,
All the memories that were not made,
I find that my hope begins to fade.
We celebrated Gran’s eighty-five,
I thank god she is still alive,
In a world where socialising is banned,
Where you cannot even shake by the hand,
All this and more,
Is what twenty-twenty had in store.
How’s life? Its fine
Guess I could do with some more time
I don’t rant enough so heres this rhyme
What’s the deal with life
Wish it felt right
Tired by day and sleepless at night
Let’s talk mental health
Where’s my metal help?
Feeling useless like my alarm
Bags under my eyes and lines on my arm
Sometime I feeling in between
Just a classic anxious teen
Juggling thoughts with and my feelings
How long until I start healing
Just one sad kid in a big wide world
I may not be much but I’ll give it a whirl
The sky was nearly black,
And the leaves were ready to fall
The rain was pouring
While the traffic began to crawl
The clocks were ticking
While people yawned
The teacher asked questions
But nobody did respond
People dreaming of summer in Spain
In the pool watching the small kids shout
Welcome to winter in Ireland
Help get me out
It’s a battle of thoughts, a beat down between opinions.
Voices argue over and over again, ricocheting in my mind
and the line between them starts to blur.
These voices are heard only by me, they live in my head rent free but they are not mine.
They are those that have been drilled into me over and over again,
drowning out my own and telling me that I am wrong,
that I am right, that I am pathetic and that I am strong.
Some of the words are old, yet strong and stagnant within my thoughts.
Some are newer, but a routine thrashing that I’ve become so used to.
Despite their differences, all of them fill a heavy weight on my chest.
And I am not strong enough for it.
I am made up of many colours
Blacked out drunk
Dark blue with depression
Red with the pain and hurt
purple with the slight chance of hope to escape
My favourite yellow of happiness
that pays a visit now and again
Orange with the anxiety that clouds over me
The worst thing- being no colour at all.
Move upon move
It doesn’t stop spinning
They tell me we’re fine
But they don’t see my side
Tell me on thing then another
Yet you say you never lie
All I want is to stop
But the spinning never will.
Life is a mess
It’s like a game of chess
You wake up everyday
And everything is grey
“Early days are the best”
More like a mad slugfest
You get brought up brainwashed
While getting instantaneously squashed
The worst is the judging
No one is loving
I hate this madness
It’s just full of sadness
I want to die
The only thing I do is cry
When will this end
I just want a friend.
I farmed the land
I trampled the wood
These are the things I understood
No grand schemes, they passed me by
I knew the brook, the hills, the hook
To hunt a bird, to wet line,
Gifts from God, so good and fine
Friend and king, I love them so;
Although I’m home, I’m sure they’ll know
I’m at peace now, with a car at my feet
I’ve faced the force and I have I have won.
It ebbs and flows,
And with it I go,
About the hum of teenage days.
When asked about about grades,
I can’t think as I’m in my own daze,
From cigs to cider,
From bitch fights to mad nights,
I can’t help but think am I doing it right?
Will be accepted if I do what is expected?
I can’t bear to think of life after teenage days,
But in one way I hope there will be less pressure
when I’m out of my teenage phase.
For My Parents
Everyday when I walk in these walls
I can feel cat calls who are these guys with no balls
Sports is driving me insane
It’s only for my parents , I only feel pain
I study so hard but all I get in return is a percentage
What is this world , where popularity and your body
speak more than your words
People only care about them selves ,
you think you can trust them never again
because the only person you can trust is yourself
I is We
They dont see us
Yet they ‘know’ me
I’m not a me,
I is we,
And we are happy
But we aren’t ‘right’.
It started in sixth, the sporting, the stress , the slip,
Flying around the world, education sinking like a ship.
Maths flying out the window, dad reminding me like a shadow.
Fast forward to the high school, keeping up with the clever, in higher.
On the top of my game, laying comfortably in the top,
1st, 1st, 1st, then lost the thirst. 2nd, 3rd, 4th,
losing the spark, the flare, losing, vanishing in the dark.
Then came the slip, the third the fourth no longer the fifth,
results showed and it was sick.
Laziness sticks, followed me through 2nd and the 3rd, not 4th,
Maths, maths, maths, get it through your head.
Alright then it’s time to hit the desk.
The world falls
The politicians deny
The rights dismissed
The thoughts shutdown.
The people are sheep
They follow the alpha
They do not think
They just follow.
Are world falls.
We just need to see
That we are human
We have thoughts
We have rights
We have control
From the outside I’m loud,
On the inside I’m shouting,
However the tears and shivers betray me,
The person you love the most doesn’t notice,
As people flock with empty kindness,
Making you feel guilty. Yes you,
It is sometimes impossible to get up when you’re tied to the bed,
Craving love from the most special and dear,
As they slowly edge for the door,
The light at the end of the tunnel running away
as your hands reach closer,
Please try to survive,
Yet the pain stings and stays.
You cross the boundaries ever so profoundly
They say you have changed but I know you will forever remains the same
Every conversation leads to devastation
It is so one sided I can no longer hide it
I can guarantee your jealously will lead you in nothing but misery
You are a burning flame that left me burnt all over
Despite it all I will never have the courage to run
I will forever be trapped in your vicious cycle
The west coast had it all.
The drinks the drugs the parties and balls.
With sunshine glimmering,
and warm temperatures sizzling.
The unknown meaning of life passed her by,
she no longer feels the need to cry.
Movie stars, expensive cars.
David Bowie, Life on Mars?
A thirst for success and worth.
The stars who came before her.
The ones who sadly left.
Sharon, Marilyn, Lana Turner,
the flames of life that slowly burned her.
Hollywood signs, fine wines.
The fast paced life,
the hot summer nights.
Im tired of the domination
The racism of the Caucasians
Since day one; I’m not saying I’m not proud of my day ones
But something’s gotta change and not in a cram
When I let my let my emotions out i feel like a fallen damn
Flooding, bleeding, it’s all on our on brain cam
We all know it’s there
Too sheepish to address it
Following the flow, the crowd the majority,
We lost out on who we are cuz we’re all our own minority
What happened to being different
We’re all paying a rent
To live in a vent
Where we get flushed into a vicious cycle
It’s time for this to stop
There it is my mic drop.
When people say that they’re fine
But in reality they’re on a decline
When they’re fears and their pain combine
They’re falling apart, only a matter of time.
When you realise you’re sharing their pain
And that by talking there’s nothing to gain.
When you realise it doesn’t matter
And between sharing your feelings and acting tough you choose the latter.
That’s when you need to know
That no matter how bad the odds go
There’s always light at the end of the road.
So just hold on a little longer
The pain is bad but your resolve is stronger.
Drop no F-Bomb
I don’t give a hoot
no hoots do I give,
Have you ever heard the saying
‘live and let live’?
and we go in your way that special day
‘I don’t give a hoot now!
hip hip hip hurray!’
Fear of the unknown
Don’t walk alone
You may not make it home
The fear of the dark
Afraid they might make there mark
Rustle of bushes, steps on sticks
Like falling bricks
Really makes u think.
The storm will pass things get better,
You’ll make it through this life
like the sun makes it out
from behind the dark grey clouds.
When you find and learn the things
that make you feel strong,
there will be no stopping you.
I miss my friends in Spain,
Miss their laugh, their smiles
And their tears.
Miss fighting with each other
And screaming until we had no voice left.
Miss our baths in the pool at 3am in the morning
Miss having dinner at 11 pm
in a bench in the park.
I miss having stomach aches after
Eating three packs of popcorn and
two of sweets
Miss our parents giving out to us when we were late
Miss the smell and the scene
Of my home
Books are my cure,
And no I am not nerdy or obscure
Reading helps me get away,
From my perfect life of liberte
Imagining myself in another world,
Makes me feel calm and unnerved
Even tho I am a popular girl,
Doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy a book full of magic and firl
Bandon Grammar Bosses
The names Henry ever since I was a youngin
been ballin like Thierry Henry.
I don’t give a damn if you’re a badman
You madman, the only guy
I’m dodging is the tax scratch that I ain’t with the backchat.
Cause I don’t really know if I’m honest
when we were younger we had dreams of being bosses
I hate school
I hate people
I hate staying in
I hate going out
I hate when people hate me
I hate when I feel like people hate me
I hate when I feel upset
But I guess it okay, I’ll pretend I’m fine.
You say I can’t when I can
Is it because I’m not a man?
You say Don’t when I say do,
You think I don’t have a clue?
You tell me I shouldn’t when I should,
Do you want me ashamed of my woman hood?
You want me to lose,
But instead I cruise.
I love music
It’s like my getaway
Frank Ocean to Rick Ross
Mac Miller gets me through sad times
Meek Mill gets me through gruelling sessions
Music is my necessity
My children will be baptised in Kanye West
Without, I would be empty.
Man got problems he can’t share
Cause people don’t care.
Sometimes he feels left out
Because he’s without,
His friends. He’s gone away
To the Norway
To make a life
But without a wife