We can’t even leave the comfort of our home,
Without feeling like it is unsafe to walk outside alone.
The men they roam the streets and leer,
While a woman walking the streets is in constant fear.
She fears for her safety, life and her dignity lost,
As a man could come and violate her and not think of the cost.
Women are told to smile, laugh and look pretty,
While models “slim down” or “thicken up” while wallowing in self pity
Women get told to button up or pick a less revealing shirt,
While men take pictures looking up our skirts.
Entering into womanhood,
We soon come to realise that being a woman isn’t always good.
We listen to those horrific stories headlining the news,
And we feel like we have everything to lose.
We are women powerful and grown,
But we also want to feel safe, walking alone.
Teardrops come so rarely, as emotions come and go
Feeling mournful while looking joyous.
My body turns and yearns for sleep that’ll never come,
Too afraid to talk for fear of being an annoyance.
Love for men and woman is such a burden,
When love should only be felt for one.
The things the love have caused me,
It makes me want to run.
I like to be alone
I like listening to the patter of the rain on my window
And the rustle of the trees
I like making up stories inside my head
To escape the reality of the cruel world
That lies outside my bed
But everyone knows
There is a fine line
Between being lonely
And being alone
Space ha that’s funny never had any.
The only space I have is the rectangular bed I’m confined to.
Always wondered why I was scared of noise,
Probably because it’s the thing that creeps up on me every few seconds of the day.
Talking, shouting, machines, creatures from the holes in the walls, water drips from the ceiling.
But it can also be quiet, too quiet.
My feet shuffling on the bare ground, closing imaginary doors around,
Little to no sound of the roof held up above with a colourful array of thumbnails,
Feels like I’m living where life flails then pales.
Yeah I didn’t even realise we were in lockdown.
My head was already conked out with thoughts and doubts about who I am,
How can I go anywhere?
Trying to be…
A new person is emerging, and although alerting all the alarm bells in my mind.
I finally see out of the fog, few years way too long.
But I know where I belong, feels like I’m hearing an applause.
Yeah it’s terrifying me, how others might judge or perceive.
What if everyday becomes a meeting. Did you make a good impression?
Will they meet with objection of my perception?
Might get a lot of attention, even without intent to.
I’ll do it anyway.
Keep on gripping to the…
Equality is like pure happiness,
Wild and untameable,
The further we try to reach it,
The more resistance we encounter,
No matter our efforts,
There will always be a black sheep in the crowd.
Something melted inside me when you spoke my name
Like redemption in a halo screaming that you wouldn’t be the same.
The same as those who struck the fire from my chest
Thoes who left me bleeding and writhing in their mess.
Why do you make me move and wake,
Move through me and to me in a way that aches.
You’re saturated, and visceral far beyond politeness
Like all the colours, all at once and all on full brightness.
Make me bleed, make me cry
Make me see the things I am inside.
Make me scream with life and love and hate
Your body, your words, through my bones you resonate.
All We Want
Equality that’s all we want, its not that hard,
But no we live in a world where were told race, sexuality and gender are bad things,
Everyone has these things, what’s so bad about being yourself,
You can’t change it, people with small minds controlling the world,
Why are these things such a problem, equality, why can’t we all just be equal
Writing poems is something I love,
Writing poems writing poems.
Yet the flows of creativity stop when I’m told to.
It’s all about free will,
Free will to do it whenever I see fit.
When I’m sitting down,
Sitting down on the ground in my room,
In my room that makes me feel so comfortable
So comfortable so safe.
That’s where I like writing
That’s why I like writing
Because it’s a choice
I choose to
I choose to write
I chose to write 12 poems about my life.
I chose to make them deep, about me, my emotions, my mental stability.
I say that this isn’t a choice
But it’s not true
This is choice
I’m still choosing
Without you, freewill, what would I be?
What would I be what would I be
I would be a bundle of regret, anger, despair
I wouldn’t be me
I wouldn’t be the version that I want to be
(Not that I’m the version that I want to be)
But I will be
Hopefully hopefully hopefully
With what? You guessed it
Staring at the Reflection
Staring at the reflection and looking to the clock
My mind distorts the figure but somehow it looks so real
My bed seems to be the only safe space left,
Free of judgement
My phone serves the best distraction
After all, out of sight out of mind seems to be working
Toxic masculinity we hear it everyday
Men gloat about it while women hide away
We hear men say ‘Its just a joke’
Whilst women laugh to not be provoked
We hear people say women are sluts and it’s wrong to be gay
But the people that say this all decided to hide away
Standing in front of the mirror,
Facing my terror,
Grabbing the fat,
Making me feel like a rat,
A rat in the sewer,
Where everybody looks at me like a tumour.
Books upon books to reach my dad’s expectations,
But he lost his patience,
Reaching to be the best sister expectations,
But there is no admiration.
This is where our story begins,
Making memories everyday from dusk till dawn,
Laughing away at everything we love,
Listening to each other’s thoughts and stories,
Teaching each other about all we know,
We learn to love and we learn to grow,
But there’s always that on thing you don’t know,
And when it happens you then realise that person wasn’t meant for you.
And well now it looks like this is the end of that story, because I’ve ran out of pages
Hear my Cry
When will they listen
I try to explain it but it never works
Sometimes you’re so small people never see you so they walk over you
At the end of the day, no matter what I do or say
I remain silent
All I need is for someone to hear my cry
I am a memory man
My thoughts stay close to me
But the moment I grew up
To realise these thoughts
They turned to sorrow and dismay
I told the stars about your eyes
I told the sun about your smile
I told my mam about your heart
I told my dad about your love
I told him you wouldn’t leave
Not the way he did
Although we’ve parted our separate ways
I know our love will always stay
Is the Bar that Low
Is the bar really that low for men,
That saying something a decent human being should already be thinking
Is getting the same acclaim as if he cured cancer?
Is the bar really that low for men who scream “women’s rights” at the top of their lungs,
Are considered “heroic” and “open minded”,
“A man of the modern era”, but not that this should be the normalised standard of men?
Is the bar really that low for men that the closest thing
That i’ll ever get to equal respect between him and I,
Are his words of encouragement for women in the eye of the public
But not in the dark catacombs of his mind?
Is the bar really that low for men that speaking with his chest
What women have been exclaiming,
Crying and reaching for someone to listen for centuries is a sign of worthiness and defiance
But the casual sexism he portrays with his friends isn’t held to such standard.
Yes, the bar is that low and I have to deal with it everyday.
Killin is not gone,
The wars were never won,
From defence to hunting to enjoyment,
Killing was never the one from going on.
On this planet from a human’s eye killing was always necessary,
From microbes to insects to animals,
Kill or be gone.
No one really wants this,
But looking at the generals you start thinking is it really necessary,
Brothers fighting brothers,
species fighting species,
Can this please be gone.
Some people Enjoying their lives,
watching the news,
Thinking it’s all a lie,
Playing those games like you’ll never die.
Gaming companies selling those games,
Not promoting the change,
Fortnite , Counter Strike , Minecraft,
Whispering to us kill or be gone.
Are humans really going this way?
Where is Earth rolling to,
I certainly don’t want to play bowling where humans are the pins
And Earth is the rolling ball.
The sun splits the rocks
The waves carry the flocks
But still, I feel numb
Not numb as in nothing
Numb as in everything
All at once
Nothing, something, everything
Sometimes in waves
Sometimes in tsunamis
But the pit never leaves
Never lets me breathe
I always have tears
I always have fears
I feel like a mould
Whatever way you shape me i’ll fold
I never step out of line
Don’t want to ruin my design
My heads in the clouds
I feel trapped in crowds
Help me shout
Help me out
I Just Need to Get Out
I just need to get out,
Out of my room,
The beautiful flowers bloom,
Into the fresh air,
It’s only fair
My life is on hold,
I can’t feel the gold,
Of a beautiful summers day,
Is there any way?
We are in lockdown,
So all I can do is lie down
Lying in Bed
Still as a brick lying in bed
Constant pain banging in my head
My eyes are pried closed
Feeling like I want to fold
Not told what to say
With all my cards on display
I don’t know how to feel
But I know I don’t want to keel
Just need to sleep not panic
Get through this night that feels manic
Life is hard, like clay
My mind straying array
Feel like running away
Everyone telling me its okay
But its not, and nobody would understand
Put my emotions on the table
Only to get them back in a bloody hand
But I try get stronger
I pray for a better tomorrow
I cant feel like this any longer
Lying at Night
Lying at night overthinking life,
Sitting awake thinking am I a mistake,
The thoughts flying round,
All are loud, bold, profound,
The best years of your life they say,
Well when will they start,
How long do I stay.
She drifts by day by day,
Waiting for something to break her out of her slum,
Schoolwork’s too much and she has already skipped lunch,
Will she find a way out before it’s too much.
Are the days
When will this be over, they say
No matter our efforts
Drowned in tears
2 weeks become over a year
As the weather starts to get clearer
We all start to look in the mirror
Summer body pending
Never ending mind bending thought
Should I stop eating?
Fleeting those thoughts from my mind
I am myself
Put those thoughts on the shelf
Start a new chapter
Dismiss my captor
The sun is shining
The future is frightening
Children aren’t playing
Scared of dying
Sick of crying
Afraid of trying
Resorted to lying
I cornered him on his yacht after taking out his guards, shotgun barrel by my side
I stared him straight in his eyes and told him, ‘any last words? Not much longer will you be alive’
He looked around in dismay to find he had no protection,
He’d better pray to god that he gets a next life because of resurrection
The man who took it all from me, my possessions, my pride, my family.
I’ve come here to kill him on the spot, and watch him squabble worthlessly
But standing here in front of him, perhaps I let him slide,
A hate fuelled circle will remain alive otherwise
‘Any last words?’ he asks. Certainly not for you.
Go to hell, and while you’re there say hi to your family too.
I stare him down and say, ‘Was debating on keeping you living.
But you’re still a spiteful prick, so I’ll do you a favour, send you to where you belong,
The land of the non-living’
Our teenage years gone to waste
“The best years of your life they say”
1 whole year since everything was normal
Stuck in our houses making banana bread
Walking the dogs online school, tik tok trends
Thinking when can things go back to normal
When can we have our lives back
March, April, May, June
The government don’t know what to do
Mental health is gone down the drain
Everyone suffering but pretending there ok
No story’s to tell are grandkids when we’re old
“What did you do when you were a teenager”
Stayed at home and only communicated by phone
When will this end enough is enough
We want our life back
Corona you suck
We live in this world nowadays that there’s something called cancel culture
All these young ones are like vultures ripping this gen z culture apart
Alll I want is the 00’s back with shaq not all this wack pc crap
I’m a white straight male with opinions that are not shared
Cause I’m afraid of being cancelled and all these fools are trying to council me
Saying it’s gonna be alright
But the good old days are gone the fight is over
And the future is no longer bright
Man of the Year
Man of the year
I still have problems
I look in the mirror
I look awful
Talking to myself
Do it too often
I’m so awesome
There’s an imposter among us
He’s lookin kinda sus
Red be styling
Blue be wildin
Venting to hide
Killing to strive
Lying to survive
Trying to get an alibi
People say I look funny
And yes my nose is runny
My teeth are like a bunny
Other parts are Hella gummy
But its okay
My life still isn’t crummy
Got a number one victory royale
Yeah Fortnite we bout to get down get down
Ten kills on the board right now
Just wiped out tomato town
My friends just go down
I’ve revived him now we’re heading south bound
Now we’re in the pleasant park streets
Look at the map go to the mark sheets