Words of Man
I only speak these words, words of man
Handed from father to son,
Ancient traditions passed on,
The most powerful weapon of man,
Created by our ancestors
To work and communicate together,
But twisted through time
It changed its ways and purpose,
Adapted by evil and good alike,
Can be used as thou shall please,
A creation of human being,
A creation overseen.
Alone at Sea
I’m writing this poem
Just to express my emotion
No experience before today
Brain vague as the ocean
Some people think I’m a joker
A funny man or maybe the class clown
But what looks like a smile to everyone
I’m my head it’s a frown
I put on a brave face every morning,
I wake up
I disguise my feelings
As if I’m putting on make up
Sometimes for no reason at all I cry
I’m an emotional young man
That I cannot deny
I’m good at sports
I’m just like every young lad
If so please tell why I’m so sad
I feel useless
Like I’m unable to think
And when I’m under pressure
I fumble like a cat in a sink
I want to be happy
The best I can be
But answer this question
Why am I alone at sea
When every crisis is existential,
Trying to hide that you’re, blank.
When every mirror is a personal hit,
Look into your own eyes just to feel like, blank.
Trying to keep your head above water, but you’re on the ground
Don’t want help, just to, blank.
It feels nobody can understand,
Go to bed and make friends with your, blank.
When you were told to write a poem and your head sank,
Tried to carry on, but your mind was blank.
The Torment of the Tide
I remember the water,
It was cold and callous,
But somehow familiar.
I remember the bystanders,
Watching, waiting, wanting.
They stood in solidarity and
Washed me with solitude.
The waves grew rough
And the bystanders grew restless.
The ocean was ready but,
I was not.
And under I went.
Choking but never drowning.
What to Say
I didn’t want to write a poem because I don’t think I’ve anything to say
And maybe I don’t or maybe other people make me feel that way
It’s not the thought of writing something down that I’m bothered by
It’s a fear of others opinions, a fear I can’t justify
I’m told not to care what others think because nobody really cares
But this advice doesn’t help me deal with malicious whispers laughs or stares
The pressure to succeed and need to be liked chokes me like a noose
But I know if I tell anyone how I feel they’ll think I’ve a screw loose
So I sit quiet and shy and don’t say a word so I never offend or stand out of the crowd
Even though the feelings overwhelm me I can’t speak any of them aloud
This is a short story about most days at school,
We are all divided from unpopular to cool,
When you just at start school thinking it’s alright,
And the bullying and harassment make your life turn crap.
You turn to drink, drugs and alcohol,
To get punished, abused and know nothing at all.
Now your ashamed, depressed and turn to self-abuse,
And some people don’t last and have nothing to lose.
Asking for help is nothing we bring up,
As because we are lads we keep everything tied up.
We try to act big and pretend we are ok,
But we are more prone to depression and anxiety each day.
She was constantly looking for affection,
Searching and longing for love,
She begged and pleaded but remained alone,
She instantly became broken,
Who was there to show her love?
And just like that, one Saturday afternoon she found it,
There was no magical potion or price charming, just reassurance,
Reassurance from this one important person in her life,
She looked her right in the eye of the broken mirror on the bathroom wall,
And told her, everything is going to be alright.
Toxic masculinity is so prevalent,
Insecurities jumping out in the form of harming others.
Emotionally or physically, either works
If you’re a decent person, “GAY!”
As if that’s a bad thing.
However the funny thing is,
They’re most likely insecure because they have those feelings themselves,
It’s so obviously when you step back and look at it,
I wish it would all stop.
At home all alone
Just me and my thoughts
I start to wonder
If all these emotions
Inside my head
Are all these worries and fears
Regular or abnormal
He spends every day in a strict routine
Unable to figure out what everyone else is thinking
He doesn’t understand how he is so different?
He is older than me but twice as clueless
He doesn’t have any real friends
Because he doesn’t know how to make them
My mother stresses everyday wondering will he ever have a normal life
Asperger’s prevent him from thinking like others
Nobody understands him, he doesn’t understand himself
Whose brother is that? I think I know.
He is quite sad inside although,
He tries to tackle each day as it comes.
He hears his mom he cries and runs
I try to help but it won’t be okay,
His brother will soon be gone they say.
He’s ditching school, he is depressed.
It’s hard for him to even get up to get dressed
The brother is lonely sad and deep,
But he has promises to keep,
He keeps his brother safe and sane.
Until then he shall not sleep.
Each day he rises from his bed,
With thoughts of sadness in his head,
He idolizes being dead.
Facing the day with never ending dread.
But he has his promises to keep,
He lifts his head up and tries not to weep
He knows no one will ever be there,
Because he’s the only one that seems to care.
Don’t Look at Them
Don’t look at them
They might not notice you
Hide in the toilets
That’s your private place
They can’t take that away from you
Focus on your homework
Blank out all the conversations
Pretend you are occupied with something
They might forget about you.
All of the time you try to avoid them
All you can think about is them
They consume your time and thoughts
It is a mental battle every hour of every day.
You believe the only way you can get rid of them is by becoming invisible
Losing your identity
Losing your personality
Losing your sense of humour
Losing your confidence and pride
You believe this is the only way to protect yourself
You cannot see the bigger picture
Instead of protecting yourself you lost yourself
And instead of overcoming them you let them get the better of you
You sacrificed so much yet received nothing
Because at the end of the day they always found you
I hear the word being thrown around ‘sociopath’,
Always as a joke always, targeted at somebody.
People coming to me asking am I a sociopath? No
I may not show my emotions or open up to my acquaintances
But that’s not their issue to think about.
I may not cry when I’m feeling low or be happy all the time
Or show empathy to something that doesn’t involve me or affect me.
But that does not make me an emotionless, evil human
That is feared by people who don’t even understand the illness themselves.
I am very happy with my family and friends
And I show empathy and compassion for things I love
But because they don’t know that
They decide that I don’t care about them,
Or anything for that matter.
I’m proud to be from Loughrea,
There’s nowhere I’d rather be today,
It might seem like any old town,
But to me it’s so much more than that,
When I put on the jersey before a match,
Something clicks in my head,
As our manager always tells us – do it for the crest
That’s all he needs to say to make us do our best.
No matter where I end up when I get older
Be it in Ireland or Colorado,
Loughrea will always be my home.
What to Write
I don’t know what to write about
There are too many things to write about
So I’m just gonna say some stuff
Some of it is just stupid
But some might be good
You could even call me cupid
But I still don’t know what to write about
Oh god this is probably so bad I’m so sorry
I’m just gonna stop before it gets any worse
They might need a hearse because this poem is my funeral
I just couldn’t find something to write about.
If you had one wish
It would probably be a little selfish
Some people have a good life
Some just take the knife
You search for the answer
When you hear the word cancer
It’s all just one big question.
This will be a story not at all gory,
I just wanna tell my story,
I may look happy and full of cheer,
But I drown all my sadness with my vodka and tears,
I know it seems bad and it really is,
I really need help and that it is,
I’ll end on a high note,
That is I will never need a suicide note,
I am in love and that’s the good,
And it really should,
Love is a thriller,
It stops you from becoming a killer.
I don’t want to fail
I hate failing
I’m terrified of it
When I don’t work hard enough it stresses me out
So much that I stop caring and lose interest
Which causes me to fail even more
I am my own worst enemy
Each day I will do my best
And try do those stupid class testes
Behind hurtful messages on the desk
Trying to find at least one speck
I Wake Up
I wake up every morning at seven
Forced to sit in a stuffy room until eleven,
Tired and dealing with a headache
I head to the canteen for our fifteen minute break,
We do this again until four
When your brain simply can’t do any more,
You go home, eat and study again
Repeat this 5 times and you are free then.
The stands are overcrowding
The managers are shouting
The ball is thrown in
The game can begin
We score a goal
They raise the flag pole
The final whistle is blown
We have claimed the thrown
School is a place where we go to be tested
But if you fail,
You’ll become a junkie and get arrested
This is the message our elders give us,
So it’s an issue that needs to be discussed.
If you drop out of school you are a fool.
Don’t give up there is always something for you in school.
The most wonderful time of year
A time for cheer
And fear, for children thinking Santa won’t come
A time for celebration and anticipation
To see what’s underneath the Christmas tree
Mothers going on a shopping spree
And families sitting around a Christmas tree, sipping tea
Today at school we went to a workshop and talked about our society.
The topics we covered gave me a bit of anxiety.
At the end of the day he told us to write a poem,
But obviously I can’t do this on my own
I have writers block.
I’ve so much on my mind, so much to say.
But I don’t know how to use the word in the right way.
This workshop really gave me a shock,
I must work on fixing my writers block.
Close my Eyes
I close my eyes and I can see
Us sitting down right by the quay,
Heading down to buy lots of bread
Throwing it for the ducks as they waddle to the shed ,
Skipping back to the shop to get ice cream
Putting our money together working as a team,
Jumping and dancing around in the muck
Hoping that we would not get stuck,
Racing home for the dinner
Competing to see who the winner was,
These days were the happiest of my life
And now I feel like a boring housewife
The clatter of boots on the dressing room floor,
Fifteen young men ready to go to war,
The cries of their manager fresh in their ear,
The blood of their enemy ready to be spilled.
Outside the parents shout and subs argue,
The officials chatter as they prepare the arena,
The warriors run out as they do battle,
Three months now they’ve been planning.
At quarter past three the ball was kicked,
Tackles were made and tries were scored,
Tears were cried and sweat was poured,
The game of the year it was called.
After endless days of wishing,
That I was him or her,
Talking about my feelings made me feel smaller,
Perhaps my appearance,
Or my personality,
Is affecting my mentality badly.
Trying to fit in or change who I am
Is affecting my grades in these important exams
If we work hard in school we will succeed
If we can memorize quotes it is all we will need
But we can’t say what’s on our mind
We must all stand in line
We have no say
“But are you feeling okay?”
We are all taught to be the same
It’s all just one big messed up game
Daddy’s Little Girl
She’s her daddy’s little girl
He watches her twirl
In her little pink pearls
He picks her off the ground
And whirls her around
As she laughs in her princess crown
As he puts he down
And he starts to frown
As he realizes she won’t always be around
I’ll be training hard
No more chocolate bars
Gym in the morning
Getting up early
Busting a gut with pride in the jersey
Can you score goals and points
Can you score left and right
A sure all the same
Gonna see myself on the Sunday Game
Take a Deep Breath
I close the car door turn around take a deep breath
I realize that this could be life or death
I wonder why I am here
I stare out the window wondering when the bell will go
And how long until I can leave
To do something that matters in my life
That could make a difference
For my future.
I wake up tired
Get ready for school
Put on my fake smile
Because I am told it is cool
I joke and laugh and act all tough
Waiting for the bell to ring
Cause really its actually quite rough
I go home to breathe and be myself
Lie on my bed on let it out
But then I am told that’s not ok
I can’t be sad or quite or dull
I must keep the act up
I go to bed tired of acting the lie
But no one cares so why should I?
Silage season is here
Let’s all cheer
The grass is growing
And the farmers are mowing
The combine is out
For the grass is about to sprout
The farmers are all about
Drinking the stout
Every night I go out
The lads tell me I score
Cause I kiss new lips every night
One, two maybe more
However when I go home at night
I don’t feel like a legend
I feel so alone in my bed
Cause of the things I want to mention
I don’t want one night stands
The lads patting me on the back
All I want is a girl
To make me feel like I’m in a pact
To stay with each other
If only for a while
Not just a shift
In the liquor isle
So at night I just sit
In my bed and think
Will any girl ever see what’s inside
Or into my grave will I sink
We wake up every day
Force fed words we don’t relate to,
Be happy, smile more,
But no one ever asks about what goes on
Behind the wall you’ve built so high
That if you fell from it,
You’d be broken
It’s just not fair,
Why did this happen to me?
I was playing a soccer match,
And I fecked my knee.
I was running for a ball,
And I was pushed and had a fall,
I heard a pop,
After I dropped,
And I knew I was in a bad way.
The pain was immense,
The surgery was intense.
I fought so hard, I gave it my all,
But it is short that I fall,
I worked so hard all my life, all leading up to this point,
I have never wanted something more but to fall short puts me to the floor,
It was wrong what went on,
But losing makes me want to get up and get strong.
Stephen O’ Halloran
Cause you’re a geek if you don’t got streaks
What are the youth at in blue chat
A red heart is more valuable than French art
When you’re too long typing… and they are underwriting
And to be honest having all those streaks is actually quite bleak
Really it’s the filters that leave all the blisters
Put it on your story to get all the glory
It’s not snapchat, it’s a load of crap
I love that feeling you get when you’re with your sister and your both laughing,
And you’re having so much fun,
You’re supposed to be in bed and you know that if you’re too loud,
You’ll get in trouble,
And then it will be over,
You’re telling secret and spilling tea,
That’s when you realise that,
You’re her big sister and you love her.
It’s important to think
In times of stress
To focus on what matters
And forget the rest
Family friend’s people who care
Because when you’re feeling down
Someone will be there
You’ve had a bad day
It’s all going wrong
You’re said and afraid
Maybe sing a song
Be strong be steady don’t get upset
Remember you are special
Better than the rest
Sixteen Years Old
I am sixteen years old,
Very vulnerable to a cold,
But I don’t let this stop me,
Being the person I’m meant to be.
I enjoy playing hurling,
I don’t find it boring,
I never feel unhappy,
When I’m with my friends and family.
They want me to make
The choice we have been taught to make
Fresh from the womb;
Pink blankets, dresses, dolls
The barely noticed comments;
Find a rich husband
Do this to make your man happy
How to be the perfect wife
Maybe some days I want to wear blue jeans and some days pink dresses
Some days kiss girls and some days kiss boys
Roses and peonies both smell as sweet
But maybe my choices are not what I am defined by
Maybe I define myself
Maybe my label
Maybe I am not a tomboy, a girly girl, gay, straight
I hate coming to school
They laugh and call me a fool
I don’t care what they say
‘Cause I’ll go home at the end of the day
All I do is lie in bed
Till I can’t feel my head
I rises from his bitter bed,
With thoughts of sadness in my head.
I idolize being dead.
Facing the day with never ending dread.
I Get Upset
I get upset and I don’t know why,
Everything around me just makes me want to cry,
It’s a feeling in my head and I can’t explain it,
People know what it is they just don’t name it,
People say to be happy but that’s hard sometimes,
When living life everyday feels like a constant climb,
I hate the society we live I today,
Making me feel like I have to be a certain way,
I wish I could learn to love myself more,
And not be afraid to walk out my front door.
They Watch Me
They watch me walking down the hall
Call me names and claim they know it all
But to my face their caring and kind
But deep deep down that’s not what’s on their mind
I always hear it back and it hurts like hell
But I never let it show
So no one would ever know
I would doubt myself and feel insecure
Sometimes not even able to look in the mirror
Telling someone was so hard to do
So I usually keep to myself and to my own view
I would cry most nights then wipe the tears away
And prepare myself again for the very next day