“It’s my Life”
I sit in my room, homework on my lap music on in the background,
Studying a subject I hate, I frowned.
The pressure I put myself under to do well in my exams,
Up to my neck in pages full of reports and diagrams.
People expect me to do well,
“She’s an all honours level student,” they yell.
I want to make myself and my family proud,
But it’s hard when people put me down.
Some people think it’s amazing, I’m so clever,
But others say “I would never wanna be like her, ever”.
I ignore the hateful comments they throw at me,
“They’re not gonna live my life,” I whisper secretly.
It’s my right to enjoy my education,
Just like other’s all over the nation.
Just because I like school doesn’t make me a freak,
Everyone likes different things, we’re all unique.
I’ll study if I want to study to make my exams and life easier,
In some people’s eyes that just makes me freakier.
But I don’t care it’s my life, I’ll do what I want,
And I’ll work in any shop or restaurant,
To pay my way through college to get the job I dream of.
And that to me is worth every horrible comment and shove.
Because when I’m older, working in the job I worked so hard to get,
The hard work and long hours will not be a regret.
I’ll look back, proud of what I’ve achieved,
I’m happy and stable in life, which makes me feel relieved.
So all the comments and slagging I get right now,
Won’t matter to me ten years from now.
My parents support me and they will help in anyway,
They will help me get through each day.
So I sit in my room, homework in my lap,
Music in the background, volume low,
Not rushing my work, taking it nice and slow.
All the comments, they one day won’t matter to me,
Because it’s my life and I’ll be who I want to be.
My life is good, “your life is good” they said.
“Your life is good, you have a roof over your head,
You sleep nice in a nice bed.
You’ve got food in your house and clean water to drink.
Your life is good.”
“Your family is nice, your family is ‘posh’” they said.
“You can’t act like that your posh” they said.
“You shouldn’t be there” they said,
“You shouldn’t be with them” they said,
“You shouldn’t be with him” they said.
Act like this they said, act like that they said.
That’s not me, that’s not who I am?
Where you come from doesn’t make you who you are.
“You shouldn’t be with them” the said, there my friends?
“You shouldn’t be with him” they said, I like him?
My life was planned before I was born.
I should decide how my life goes no one else.
I can pay junkies to get me my drink
I can bonk on trains and run from brinks.
Without them judging me, without hating me.
Without them saying ‘you’re a let-down’
Or ‘this isn’t you’ well this is me.
You can’t change me they can’t change you?
I’m not a bad person just not the person they want me to be.
But yet people say ‘your life is good’
A blue cap with the ‘Nike’ logo stitched into the front,
Worn by a man who was stubborn and blunt.
The man I admired, gave my full admiration,
The man who asked the same question, twice in a conversation.
Taken away from us, without any warning,
The 1st of October, the start of the mourning.
On a day that started, just like no other,
Flipped on its head, by two word from my brother.
Four days later we said our goodbyes,
Barely any words, I couldn’t help but cry.
I’ll always remember the memories you gave,
Whether I’m remembering on my own or talking to you at the grave.
I’ll always remember the times that we had,
Until we meet again,
I Love You Always Grandad. X
Needs to be Known
Hold your head high,
Keep a straight face,
Ignore all the comments,
I feel so out of place.
Take it as a compliment?
You should be flattered,
He’s twice my age?
“Ah sure it doesn’t matter.”
These comments on the streets,
From complete strangers,
We’re told to ignore it,
“You’re not in any danger?”
What about the day when you can’t walk away,
He follows you home,
Those comments don’t just go away.
You’re screaming and crying and can’t get away.
You sit on the bed, and think, why me?
This shouldn’t have happened, I’m only 15.
Embarrassment, pain, hiding away,
It was only a compliment,
Nothing more, nothing less.
Well that’s what they guessed.
It’s important to speak up,
You need to be heard,
It can happen to anyone,
It’s horrible, degrading,
But it should be shown,
You’re not alone, it needs to be known.
Growing up in a rundown estate, was my mam’s dream and mistake.
When I was five and my sister was born,
My mam and dad decided our bungalow was outworn.
Moatview was best.
This dream quickly faded, as did my dad.
Our new home was good, but just as bad.
Shootings, robberies, robbed cars galore,
She always said “it’s how you’re brought up not where”,
I stuck by this and decided I would make my house feel,
Like it was not there.
I suppose she just wanted a new life for us,
And we continued on without a fuss,
We had our own world in this run down estate,
Thanks to her we had an escape.
Moatview was best.
My mam is the best woman I have ever known,
Because of her i have grown,
Into a respectable girl, a younger version of her,
I’ll make her proud, that I’m sure,
Even though we live in a rundown estate,
It’s now our own little place to escape,
My mam who is the biggest weirdo I know,
Will continue to always be my hero. I know.
Sometimes I slowly die inside when I think of all the times I cried about you.
The moment I last saw you I knew I wouldn’t be saying goodbye forever.
Sometimes it’s nice to walk down memory lane, to see your face and hear your voice once again
And not a day goes by granddad that i don’t think of you.
Just because you’re out of sight doesn’t mean that you have left my mind.
The special memories I have of you will always put a smile on my face.
I just close my eyes and see all the memories that I have of you.
If you get the chance to look down on me, I hope you know that
I’m Missing You.
Chyanne Kennan Hearns
I liked this boy
He was so nice!
Not like any other
He was as cool as ice
Sometimes we would talk for minutes
Sometimes we would talk for hours
We have gotten so close
That we would talk in the shower
I was falling in love
And he didn’t know
I chose to keep it a secret
Because I was afraid of feeling low
I thought of it as a risk of rejection
My head was full of thoughts
About what he would say
If I told him I had caught
Feelings for him so deeply
That I’ve been keeping it in for months
Imagine what could happen
If i told him all at once
Would he say he felt the same
Would he say that he did not
Would he say he thinks of us as friends
My heart simply could not
Handle the answer I’m thinking
I wanted him to know
Just didn’t want to tell him
Cause I know how it could go
It could probably go completely different
Than what I’m thinking in my head
If he felt the same way
I honestly would drop dead
I don’t think I could ever tell him
Just to be safe
But if I never know
I honestly just can’t wait
To get the courage to tell him someday
I know that I will
Just Wanted you to Know
Nanny without you our lives are a sorry place,
I miss the kindness in your face,
I can never have the love you shared,
Nor know just how much you cared,
So nanny I would like you to know,
How much I love and miss you
And you’re are always near my heart,
And I just wanted you to know.
The Day you Left
My eyes filled with tears,
I could barely see,
On the 24th of November,
The day you left me.
As we watched you pass away,
I tried to be brave,
And although we love you dearly,
We just couldn’t make you stay.
Where’s the Recognition?
She walked out through the tunnel heart racing in her ears.
Smelt the fresh grass and seen her face on the boards.
One of the happiest moments of her life,
Yet only a crowd of fifty to share with.
Her home county,
Imagine that didn’t even come to the almighty Croker to see her big day.
But if she was a man?
You’d have people scrambling for a ticket
Just to see the same sport being played by a different sex.
Men, get the recognition but women deserve it.
Women put in the same amount of energy, sweat and tears.
We get injured too and no we’re not wuss’.
So why just because we’re women
We don’t deserve the same crowd of 80,000?
He left when I was small,
It’s like he didn’t care at all.
All that was left was me and my mam,
She was so strong, we didn’t need no man.
He missed my first word, my first step, my first tooth,
My communion and conformation.
You missed all 15 birthdays and not even a card in the post.
You probably forgot about me but I don’t mind,
All that I need is my mam and no one else.
She’s been there by my side through it all
And I am so proud of her doing it all on her own.
After all it’s hard raising a teenager all alone.
So writing this poem to tell you how grateful
I am to be blessed to have a mam like you.
In 2010 your life suddenly changed
You went into hospital in agonizing pain.
Doctor after doctor nurse after nurse,
You didn’t get the results you wanted,
But you were still so strong.
7 years passed you were still hanging on
Until Easter came you were just gone.
When nanny asked did you want a cup of tea,
You said a quiet no and dozed off to sleep.
1 year later I miss you more,
I never got to say goodbye,
But you’ll always be in my heart,
As I love you loads.
My Dog Jess
A hard morning full of tears,
As you lied in bed.
The time then came to make your pain stop.
We got into the car,
And no one said a word.
My eyes filled with tears as the car stopped.
I filled my head with all the memories,
As you took your finally breathe to sleep forever.
I will miss you always,
My dog Jess.
Being abandoned from the age of 5 years old,
Not knowing what is going on,
Having the Garda knocking on your door at 7pm,
You’re feeling scared and lonely,
Not knowing what to do.
Being taken away from your ma and sister,
Getting put into the back of a Garda car.
Going to a random place by yourself without any family for a whole night.
From going from foster home to foster home
And finally getting put back with your family.
Turning the big 10 years old and having your first birthday party,
Having the time of your life to turn
And then you see the person who abandoned you.
Your hearts racing you don’t know what to feel
Happy, sad or angry?
She comes over and hugs you
And you haven’t felt that happy in a long time.
And just like that she disappears again,
You think she’ll be back in a month.
It’s now being 4 years since you saw her last,
At first your thinking why after all this time is she back?
And the one reason is only you’ve lost a parent, your dad.
You think you have no one now
That’s two of your parents that have been taking away from you.
She hugs you and tells you everything’s going to be okay,
But you just know that’s a lie.
And once again she’s gone,
It’s been 2 long years since I’ve last seen my ma.
But that’s okay because I know that I have my family
And friends and that’s all I need.
Taylor and Amy
We had a bond like no other,
He was the best he simply could be,
Nobody knows how much it hurt when my Granddad left me.
Even though I was only eleven and didn’t really understand.
I will never forget the day he brought me to Disneyland,
We would walk and talk for hours it sad not having you here,
Even the thought about it makes me want to shed a tear.
All the memory’s that we shared, all the fun we had,
When I was told that you left, I’m not going to lie I was kinda mad.
I’d do anything to have one of those cuddly hugs you give,
Just to see you here, just to see you live.
“My girl” you’d call me that’s what you used to say.
Missing you is hard and it gets harder every day.
I’m not going to cry and sulk now that you’re gone,
I know we’ll meet again someday granddad John.
Claire Ann Cleary
She was snatched from the back and dragged to the car.
Her training ended early for her,
She received dirty looks as she got dragged in.
Her Dad was on a mad one screaming
‘Shut up! I have something to show ye’.
Her instant thought was that her Ma was dead,
Her whole world around her,
Split in two as she thought to herself i’ve to live with this psycho.
She was only ten years old but knew the words of an adult
With her Da always telling her names like ‘Useless’, ‘It’s your fault this happened’
He still calls her Ma a whore when he knows deep down that he’s still in love with her.
He becomes a stalker, driving by the house peeping in to see his daughter.
He deserves it though, that night when he dragged her,
He locked her in the car for three hours.
Sitting there with her two year old sister,
Tears in her eyes thinking to herself what she did to deserve this.
Hate can be cruel but so can love.
Especially if your love disappears with the one you truly cared for
And leaves none for children.
This is where all the beings,
This is war between you and i,
This is the place that it all began.
This is never going to stop,
This is like a game for you and i,
This is what is to be expected,
This is the memories that will be never forgotten about,
This is that moment you will regret.
Trials and Tribulations
12 years of age only dying to be 13, knowing she’ll have that bit more of freedom,
She thought wrong. 14 now, the years went on.
Taking risks, lying to her ma, Tuesdays and Thursdays seeing her dad,
Both parents have new partners now,
And the disobedience she showed wouldn’t make her take a bow.
Sure the look of disappointment on her mas face made her sick,
Ringing her da saying “i done nothing wrong”,
When really now she only realizes her ma was hounding her phone
Not to annoy her but to keep her safe, the great fullness she showed was unreal,
But a worrying mother is never good enough for a teen
Willing to see how far there mother will be pushed before they crack,
She probably didn’t see it under her mother cause all she does is work,
At this point after all that happened,
She notices boys taking notice to her and girls throwing looks,
Do they not know what it feels like to be a 14 year old girl with a single mother
In an underprivileged school and a working class estate,
The best years of her life was in that school and that estate,
She remember she made a mistake,
Being with the wrong people at the wrong time
In a place that she wasn’t allowed near
And it was then she knew that karma was coming to bite her in the arse,
She wasn’t allowed be with these people
But thought they were her friends because they were everyone else’s.
Her mother finds out while there in the doctors waiting room,
Her ma now shaking with anger,
She’s lying there crying at her first blood test ,
Not knowing that it might not be her last, as her ma is screaming ‘scum’
Is that what i raised you to be?
She knows she’s not, but it’s this image of being known
Or being with people that are known that amazes her,
That thought changes soon as she sees the look of disgust in her mother’s eye.
Late in the evening now, her mother comes home 5 hours early,
She thought she came home to scream unspoken words,
But no she tells her somethings went wrong
And she needs to be in hospital now,
A team of upper class doctors and haematologists
Now waiting for her in an emergency room
Every sound blurs out because the only thought she really has
Is that everyone now knows her as scum,
Her ma now worried, not sick, nor disappointed, just pure worry
And her dad on a weekend away with the bird,
Not having a clue what’s happening.
2 days later, 4 blood tests, starting a round of chemo.
A bone marrow biopsy, a drip hanging to one arm
And a blood transfusion on the other,
Now everyone is her friend.
Is it a boy is it a girl
I’ll have to wait and see
A little prince or princess
A niece or nephew just for me
I am feeling all excited
A little baby to love
I am feeling so excited
A baby to kiss and hug
Out with my friends going to a show
Bowling on a Friday is where i like to go
Lunch in the school hall, chillin with my friends
Talking about our weekend, the fun never ends
Tonight I’ll go to yoga Alex b will be there
Home to put on makeup and style my hair
Sometimes I don’t want to go
Ma leave me alone
I want to stay in bed
I’ll go for the half day Friday
Maybe I’ll go in Tuesday
Cos I love the chicken curry
I love PE and lunchtime
And I love going home
Art is the best
I hate getting up in the morning
I want to watch telly all day
Movies are the best
I walk to the shop with me friends