Are we all floundering, frenzied, lost,
Looking for a cure at any cost,
Or is it like me?
Is there something, an equation, a key,
A solution, a vision which I’ve failed to see,
Or is it just me?
My mind is dictated by ups and downs,
My actions, my decisions, have I put on a few pounds?
Wondering when i’ll reach this serene place
Fearing those around me don’t understand the pain on my face.
Sometimes I feel broken, alone and detached,
Running in circles
Like a disc which has been scratched.
Does this make sense, is this piece logical, am I one of many making this desperate plea,
Or is it just me?
I come from whispered rumours in a hallway
Where it’s not someone’s job to hear what I want to say
I see people too scared to have a mind of their own
Too afraid to stand up, put their hand up
In case they end up alone.
All the world’s a stage and we are the actors,
Pretending to be okay with all the vicious slurs.
We lie and say that we don’t cry.
What happens when people see inside?
Do they feel the same?
Who is to blame?
Our parents, peers, past?
Is it time to realise this is where we come from
But not where we end up.
I’m Sick of It.
SICK of assumptions and reactions being given so much traction
I am SICK of not knowing if what I say, if it’s okay,
Then I’m SICK of thinking of what others might
Think before I allow myself to think in the first place.
I am SICK of people feeling that they’re trapped by rules that don’t portray
An ounce of the world we are actually living in today.
Aren’t you sick of it?
Don’t you feel it?
The frustration, agitation, about our built-in hesitations
And the crazy little things that create them in the first place
The crazy little worries and comparisons
We make between ourselves and everyone else.
The crazy weird idea that what other people think
And have thought and do and have done come together
To make some unwritten rules that we are bound by,
That rule US.
Aren’t you SICK of it?
Don’t you get it?
Those people, who make you think that you should change yourself,
They feel it too, they are just reacting to the rules.
They are changing themselves because they think it’s gonna help them feel safe.
It’s not. They will never be safe from the All-Important Rules until they stop obeying
Because obeying them creates them. Maintains them.
Don’t maintain them. If you maintain them,
You feed the f***ed-up situation
Where in the little hesitations
The gaps where people check if what they’re saying is accepted
By someone else.
By someone else, not them, not the ones that really matter
Not the ones who’ve really got to live with the results
This world, it’s ours. Each and every one of us.
We each have our own minds
It’s for ourselves
It’s not for anybody else
So their opinions shouldn’t matter.
Who lives for the frown in the steamed windows
That follow our minds in the corridor of life
And slamming car doors because of one little fight
With our mom
Who lives for the disappointment that shows
In her eyes at night when you say “no gold today”
You try and try but there’s always someone better
Someone who is doing good but we try
For our moms
Sure my silver was two meters off from a gold
But that shows,
That life lines and small smiles help
Brothers cigarette smoke through the toilet window
Holding breaths because “I said so”
We know you love us, why else keep us
So show us a smile and we can work things out
Because an unsolved problem remains
But the equations with an end dissipates
Lets hug because a hug is what “us” needs
F, F, F.
Lack of inspiration
Requires constant supervision
Source of derision
Come see me after class
Barely a pass
A, A, A.
Always pays attention
Making great progress
A great creative process
All around outstanding
Despite when work’s demanding
When we are all just a number, a letter, a grade
Our identity begins to fade.
The failures are the ones we fail.
Caoilainn and Clodagh
I thought I knew what I wanted but now I’m just stuck
I’m asked where I wanna go and I’m running outta luck
We’re constantly judged on our grades alone
With no time to sleep I’m becoming brittle bones
I tell my peers that I’m doing my best
But my best becomes my worse after I fail the test
I can no longer joke that the bags on my eyes are designer
But I’m sure eventually everything will become finer
The smiles I share will be “real”
I will be allowed to “feel”
I won’t feel so alone
More people will become a home
I’ve always been a liar
And everyone else had been a buyer
To the tales I fabricate
Not really caring what’s at stake
Because in the end we’re never done
The process repeats and we’re back at square one
I Close my Eyes
Every time I close my eyes,
I pretend I’m not here.
I clear out my mind
And try to disappear.
In between all the hustle and hassle about,
I get tired of being here.
That’s all folks I’m out.
With my eyes shut I’m different,
I spectate the pretend,
Following a person who isn’t even real.
She doesn’t deal with pressure or homework or shame,
She takes nothing seriously,
It’s all just a game.
With my eyes open,
I’m lonely but never alone,
I’m friends with a girl that I never will know.
I imagine her jealously,
She’s not there to share.
She keeps me company,
When I pretend I’m not here.
The world around me is melting away
Its disappearing, slipping through my fingers
I try to hold on but it’s like holding a mist
Am I awake or am I not?
The world around me seems faraway and distant
The closer I look the further away it is
I try to run to get closer but it’s getting further away
Am I here or am I not?
The world around me doesn’t feel real
I try to keep myself grounded
But my reality is floating away
Am I real or am I not?
The world around me is cold and heartless
It gives no warmth or kindness to anyone
It takes what it wants and leaves the rest
Why do we live in such a world?
Will I Ever be Good Enough?
My brain never sleeps, yet always weeps
I am afraid of been, something everyone has seen.
I laugh to hide, how I feel inside.
Because laughter makes you happy, right?
I dance by myself, because people are busy,
They keep running away and leaving me behind.
Friends with straight A’s, leave me with an F.
Thinking i have a talent and realising not.
How many sleepless night wondering,
Whether or not I will ever be good enough.
I cry at night,
Holding my pillow tight.
Wondering if I was ever good enough.
Self-obsessed girls, smiles and lies,
Never being sure of trust worthy guys.
Sisters leaving me behind,
Parents never forgot to remind
Me, of what is wrong.
School, weight, friends,
Getting lost in the throng
Can never say what is really on my mind,
“Others have it harder, now get back to the grind”
All I ever wanted was to find the cure
Or make the pain easier to endure,
Everyday people come around to make sure
Yet they still get surprised
When they see I’ve matured,
‘You seem so mature’
They’d tell me each day
And I always respond with
‘I’ve always been this way’.
I am sick of the songs that we always sing
And the real hard problems that we need to bring
To life ’cause I am telling you that it’s all inside
These are the things that we all think we should hide
I want to share all my stories but I am afraid
Of what will happen if people do not buy
Into my cover from the deeper things
I think that we all just need to ring
This bell that tells us what to do
And where to go
For them to tell us what they think we need to know
I don’t know what to feel in this life I call my own
If I say what I think will people say that I’m a moan
I have to control what controls me
I need to take a hold
But stop holding back and just break the mould
To the Moon and Back
I love you to the moon and back,
She tells me before she sleeps,
Before she closes her eyes,
And snuggles down beneath the sheets.
She sings herself to sleep you know,
Every night without fail,
You could hear her from the moon I’d say,
Every hum and every wail.
I wonder what she dreams of,
As she smiles away to herself,
I hope she never stops,
Or puts her imagination on the shelf.
I am sick of everyone writing about being depressed
Why can’t we just be happy, is that too weird to confess?
When we are four we write about flowers and puppies and toys
Now everyone is writing about how much they don’t enjoy
This little thing that we call life
It’s not that big of a deal
Why does it have to be?
Every day the sun rises it starts all over again
With the end of each day we should just say amen
When we are four we forget what happened yesterday
We should start each day from the beginning
Let your feet pave the way
I hate being sixteen
I’m just in between
Schools like prison
It’s not my decision
It’s all about grades
Teachers throwing sly shade
If homework’s not done
Might as well kiss goodbye to fun
All we hear is careers
Which makes it a fear
But after all
Its not the be all
And end all
You say I am a 7/10 that you wouldn’t kick out of bed,
I am just a prop and a regular “wreck to the head”,
You judge me for being myself when you don’t even know yourself,
Stop staring at my ass while I pass,
You said I wanted you but that’s one story out of two,
You left me in the past, forever an outcast,
Screw you, you are just one out of few.
Nowadays there is so much pressure for girls to look a certain way,
Having the perfect body is the only way to find somebody,
Trying to be perfect will make you wrecked,
Boys should be taught that girls can’t be bought.
A girl is not an object and deserves respect.
Although women ignore a catcall,
That doesn’t mean they don’t go home and bawl.
Every girl has every right,
To a beautiful life.
She still Believes
He goes out with his friends with lacking thoughts of her knowledge,
While she waits at home on only him to text back
And tell her he won’t but she knows that with him,
He will be no doubt down a lane, drinking naggins of gin
With a girl who’s tipsy, but thinks he’s alright,
Not knowing that at home she’s giving up the fight
And not knowing if he will come home high as heaven above
But calling him anyway because she still believes that within him,
Sure my life’s a bore
Doing every single chore
Not out hunting boar
Sure a lore
In which men and women
Are equally accepted
To show some skin
To be a ‘free’ lover
With the same rights
With the same sights
But that’s a lore
I’m not hunting boar
Still doing chores
I guess my life’s a bore
School is such a stupid place
Thirty more minutes before the bell rings
I wish I could just grow wings
I fly all the way up to space
I’ll go up to the stars
Unlike school there’s no bars
And sleep there all night
Until the sun shines bright
Than I’ll explore some more
I can run free with no rules
Do the stuff you can’t do in school
I finally have time to explore
When I come back to reality
Where I’m being taught about maths and pointless stuff
Why is it all so tough
School sucks mentally
I am fan of politics, but I have no loyalty to any house or party.
In America, they have destroyed free health care because people gave it a cruel nickname
This is a disgrace!
How can the land of opportunity and freedom can allow this?
People, whose very lives
And loves one lives will die because they can’t afford it.
And the reason for this sickness because one party made it
Then the other one must destroy it.
When did house politics get so bad
That they can say free healthcare is as bad as shooting someone.
Where are the true republicans that fought against slavery?
I tell you, they are in hiding
Because they will be kicked out for agreeing with the fact
That life matters more than votes.
In a World
We live in a word where grades are important
And you should know your future,
But how will I know if I can’t even get a tutor.
I don’t want to be here,
I can’t do this no more,
I want to go home,
So just leave me alone.
The Ones that Hide the Most
I hate when the people closest to you
Are the ones that hide the most.
When “what you don’t know can’t hurt you”
Is their answer to everything,
But in reality, what’s left to the imagination
Is what causes the most pain.
Because the secrets that they keep
Cause more worry in you than your own,
Even if it’s something that doesn’t concern you.
But what can you do when the questions you ask
Are left unanswered with the statement that “you’re nosy”.
That they don’t need help, that they don’t want your help.
All they want is to be swallowed by the self-pity
That they’ve been swimming in for years.
And yet, you just sit on the safety of the shore
That you were born with and watch as they drown
In the sorrow that was created by their parents,
Knowing that you can help, but you can’t,
Because of a choice that someone else made
Years ago, to betray their trust.
A choice that ruined their hope in others
And threw them into an abyss of worry and self-consciousness.
And there’s still nothing you can do,
Because it’s always the people who are closest to you
Who hide the most.
Eve Fitz G you think you’re queen b
But you are no one’s cup of tea
You’re kind of small, hard to find,
You’re so indecisive just make up your mind
In home ec you cannot bake
You burned the burgers, go jump in a lake
Every time you talk, sounds like a squeaky mouse
Please somebody set fire to her house
In the JC you got some As
You think you’re smart, but it’s just a phase
No muscle on you, you are so lean
Everyone on snapchat gives you the seen
In choir you ruin the song
You’re so immature would you ever cop on
You’re so pale you don’t look toasted
Eve Fitzgerald you just got roasted
Through the Trials of the Teenage Sessions, Tunnels of Thinking
Blurred memories, flashback explode into depression
I feel like a worm on a hook, teenage bait
In a tight-fitting boohoo in the field with me mates
With the Gardai who will hate.
Downing a naggin feeling like a draggin from my ciggie.
Through the trails of the teenage session
It’s shocking we don’t all have depression.