Wakes up with no smile almost every day,
She walks to the mirror to see her display.
Awake for ten seconds with tears in her eyes,
She wipes them away and depressingly sighs.
Throws up in a bun her long curly hair,
And begins once again her routine for skincare.
Paints on a smile in the form of concealer,
Little do they know it’s her only type of healer.
Grabs all her bags and takes one last look,
Only to leave her feeling even more shook.
Looking at the mirror into the eyes of a killer,
Knowing that only the make-up can fulfil her.
Rising to the looks that society set her,
“Honey are you okay?”
Couldn’t be better…
Home isn’t four walls and a roof
It’s family and friends
It’s that feeling you get when you’re having a good time
It’s that feeling you get when you can’t stop laughing
It’s laughing until you cry
It’s sharing a glance and cracking up again
A house isn’t a home, and a home isn’t a house
Home isn’t a place, it’s a feeling, and people
My home isn’t four walls and a roof.
Rachel O’ Shea
To Be a Different Person
To be a different person,
To be honest it’s a lot of work,
Trust me it will worsen,
And people might think you’re a jerk.
You won’t be always lucky,
When you try and pull it off,
Don’t think this won’t be mucky,
Because this will get red hot.
I would recommend you to be yourself,
Because what I have learned,
To cross oneself,
That you can get burned.
I know it might be hard,
But trust me it will pay off,
Because it’s not like your backyard,
But the positive vibe will come across.
She walks the hallway with her head facing the floor
Thinking of all the things that that girl said
To make you feel like nothing more than a mop on the floor.
The words fill her brain ugly, fat, slut and jealous of her.
She tries to forget as she goes home smiling
Then it all gets too much and bursts into tears,
As her phone fills up with messages
Saying that she’s ugly and all those mean things
That make her feel even worse.
She soon starts to believe all these words
And thinks there has to be a way to change
If these words are true.
She has suffered true bullying before
But thinks if it has happened before
It has to be true.
Everyone starts disagreeing
When she says all the flaws she sees in herself
How she’s fat, ugly, too quiet, weak.
She tries her best to act normal
And cover her sadness
With a mask of happiness
As she slowly dies inside.
Friends are a blessing and also a curse
They’re there to help when it hurts
They see you at your worst and they don’t try to run
They push you down and then they’ll laugh
They’ll make you cry and piss you off
They’ll offend you and won’t care
But defend you, when hate’s in the air.
But most of all,
They always care.
Long Trip Home
I’m thinking of the long trip home,
How far I’m from my people,
I sometimes feel alone
We are me, myself and I
I’m getting used to being on my own
Being all day out of my comfort zone
If tell the truth it’s not too bad
But I feel sometimes sad.
When I took her hand in mine
A woman looked at us
Like she wanted to hurl.
I smiled politely and waved,
But I felt a small bit of my heart decay.
Like our love was wrong,
Like a rope had tightened around my neck
And choked me.
Nowadays I feel a lot better,
But I know in my mind
I’ll never forget her.
Social Media Junkie
Some way takes over people’s lives
You wake in the morning, what’s the first thing you do?
Yes, you see who’s been snapping you.
Facebook just one look before you get up,
But we spend all this time. On something that kinda ruins our lifetime.
How many likes how many comments how many followers?
How many times has it lowered your confidence?
Or have you seen mean comments consequences?
Although I love social media and its madness
It’s some people’s sadness.
When I was 5-years-old I was put into Foster Care
I don’t know why they never said so.
But as I was so young I didn’t understand
what was going on.
My younger brother was taking into care too.
When I turned 9 or 10 I went back home
Mum had a baby.
Then she had another one two years after.
Then I was 14 me and all my younger brothers
were put into care again.
We all went separate ways except
For the two small ones.
When I was in care with this foster carer
For a year but then she passed away
I found that really hard with everything else going on.
I moved back to the Foster Care
out where I was younger and this time to this day
I have one of my brothers with me
so I know that I’m not lonely.
But these carers are really kind and supportive.
To this day I am still in Foster Care
I will never forget the carer Kitty that I was with…..
She’s forever in my heart.
To this day I still don’t know
why they are putting us through this.
Everyone tells you to be thin,
Have flawless skin.
They want you to be the best
But when you’re better they are stressed
Don’t forget your homework
And If, you get the extra work
Staying up all night to study,
But then your eyes are bloody
Have the newest phone,
Preferably the new iPhone
Have the most expensive dresses
Money, that’s what it expresses
Don’t be different
It is what it is.
When I think of “home”, I think of my Mam
She’ll do anything possible, that she can
Always there for me, whatever it is
When I complain about my hair being a ball of frizz
Me and her, we’re like the best friends
Without her here, my world would end
I take her for granted and don’t realize
That she does her best and always tries.
We’ve been through thick and thin
She just brushes it off and puts on a grin
I love her to bits, there are no words to describe
I know she will be there, by my side.
Love You Mam xxx
But can’t let people in
Time to cop on
From best friends
We all get along.
When I was 6-years-old
Dad left Mam.
Mam said that every time my dad went out
He left her at home pregnant with me
While he went out getting drunk
Coming home around 3 o’ clock in the morning getting sick on the bathroom floor.
Mam knew that he was cheating on her
While she was at home
He was out drinking.
One day he fell in love
With this woman he cheated with
He left my Mam for her.
At 15 Facebook told me
That Dad and that woman got engaged
He didn’t even have the courage
to tell his own children
that he was getting married.
Me and my brother had to find out through Facebook that my dad was engaged.
Before that when I was about 13
I had to go to counselling over my anxiety
Because when my dad left I found it very hard.
Sometimes I wonder whether he has had to suffer the same anxiety me and my brother have.
I walk on these streets
Counting all my defeats
Wishing I could go back
But knowing, there is no track.
I think of all the places in my dreams
Where my hope always gleams
But now in this town
Where families gather around
All I feel is pain
Maybe one day this feeling will strain.
The White Shadow
She disguises the truth beneath a white shadow,
They think it is tolerable but the truth lies below.
It lies below this white shadow.
She is thirsty for transition,
But feels she does not deserve admission,
So she strolls into the burdened room,
With a smirk on her face,
But her consort undeniably knows,
The truth is hidden in the shadows.
Society says to be cool you drink and smoke,
Or do some coke,
Constantly double thinking,
Never really knowing,
That bloke you’d be blowing,
Falling over puking up your dinner from night before,
Cutting your head open,
To be honest it’s all a bore.
Erica & Eva
Girls with a tight skirt,
A loose low cut shirt,
They think that this appeals.
Boys try to stay in with the lads,
Mouth hangs down in a stupid ‘o’,
Always follow the latest fads,
That’s not really them though.
This fake we know is not the truth,
We try to follow the crowd,
And this doesn’t end after our youth,
Is to be ourselves not allowed?
To just be us is what’s meant,
So can we all agree,
We’d all be happy and content,
If you were you and I was me.
Small Yellow Square
That small yellow square,
That we know is always there,
Everywhere we go,
It haunts us from our phones below.
And yet no one really knows
The damage and hurt it causes,
As girls being known as dirt,
And boys as famous flirts.
A “snap” which is gone forever,
Is what we are made to believe,
And what Snapchat tried to achieve,
Is all just too much pressure.
Is easy to be happy,
But it’s hard to live as a cheerful human,
Some will envy you,
Some others will hate you.
How do you explain
that your euphoria has killed someone,
When in your mind you have
only tried to stop their shotgun.
Bullets of hate,
Tears of moodiness,
You tried to stop their gloomy day,
Instead you started a conflict
But just remember that they
suffer from blindness,
with their jealous eyes
covering their kindness
Just pray that one day
They’ll get to know
That life is not about whining
But about understanding.
Nagging teachers, bragging creatures
Longing for the surf, I sit here in turf
Someone please come and save me
Nagging teachers, bragging creatures
Dreaming of where I should be,
With the waves of happiness
Take me out of here
I’m stuck here in jail, teachers on my tail
Someone come and help me.
Alarm sounds, screaming loud,
Cold air, heavy eyes,
Feeling ‘ill’, given up,
Freezing floor, dark room,
No light, not bothered,
Bad mood, 7am.
Results Night 2016
The results were great the parents proud,
Makeup on, the hair done, out the door and we were loud,
Got to Cahir, the crowd was there
Lining the streets,
Buses dropping off everywhere,
The session was well and truly on,
Watching as turned away one by one,
Knew this night would be a messy one,
For someone who didn’t drink it was fun to watch,
Results of 2016 never to be forgotten.
Happy but Sad
Happy but sad, angry and confused, I thought you were my friend but I guess I was wrong too.
Never thought someone could come between us like this I think this started after that kiss.
Awkward now but it will be fine soon ‘cos in the end it was just a swoon.
It hurt me and it hurt her too but I know you still like him, your eyes tell me too.
Friends now but still that one thing caused by that awful dreadful fling still plays in my mind when you’re around but the old you is coming back around.
Happy now but I can still see the way that it affects our group so harshly.
Hopefully we’ll all be back to our old ways soon and get over what happened that summer afternoon.
When someone says school to me
I think of how it used to be
The laughs and fun and stress over the exam work tonne,
Now I see the snarky, catty year we’ve become
We don’t get along our class has an odour that would make you spew all over.
We’ve lost our innocence and our big groups of friends
We can’t wait to move on cause it’s been too long since we’ve all got along and now we can’t make amends.
We used to have a class that would never not laugh, but now we’re all isolated from our associates and its starting to have its effects. I wish we were juniors cause we don’t hear the rumours.
The college is old and really quite cold, the bathrooms smell worse than our classroom and the stairs are nowhere close to our chairs.
So in conclusion, I think our school is a big delusion and it’s not what we hoped it would be, but to all my class don’t stop the laughs or our musical blasts, but a message to all,
Improve your hygiene, it’s gone on too long.
We learn from our mistakes
The fake friends we make
And the things we take
While you’re lying awake
Thinking of the times you break
All this heartbreak feeling like an earthquake
You’re nothing but a rat snake
Sitting there eating sponge cake
Your heart is as cold as a snowflake :
And all I can think is how to end this heartache.