How could you leave and let me bleed the person I loved the most.
I saw your beauty and made it my duty
To make you feel loved but as we grew,
We grew apart and now I am lost.
Your perfect smile and amazing eyes
Were my own luxury, because to me
Not necessarily the others, you seemed the perfect one for me.
I mean, I’m happy now and so are you
But it just would have been so much nicer as two.
I see you smile but not cause of me
And sometimes it makes me feel like a ghost
Wandering the lonely chambers of the heart.
I suffered, I suffered for years
Never talked about it
I was suffering
Until one day I told my parents how I was feeling
I told them that I was transgender.
It was very hard for them to take it in but there doing well.
They said to me that they and my siblings will help and support me all the way through this process.
I wanted to became a guy for years
I never felt comfortable with myself.
Later on I started to suffer from anxiety I knew in my heart that something needed to really change
I quit swimming training because I just couldn’t handle it with the way I am.
The feeling to be trapped in the wrong body is very upsetting and frustrating
It got so frustrating and annoying for me that I started to suffer from depression it got worse over a period of time then after a year I got
Better cause I said to myself this is not getting better its just getting worse.
Every since I stopped I have been a lot better.
But not fully
I was still trapped in the wrong body and was breaking down all the time and couldn’t stop.
Life is harder than what people say
Waking up in the morning to go to school sounds so easy
That place they test you to show you’re a fool but they call it education
Where they give out to you for not being smart but they’re the ones who taught us.
The ones who don’t understand that we don’t all learn the same way, that were different, that their generation was a completely different story and social media has changed and rearranged our brains
Where society thinks likes on a photo define your self worth.
Your popularity is based on your followers
You request your friends and your damn life is out their to see.
The teachers say you didn’t try, but they don’t know about all the times you go home and cry feeling like you’re not good enough.
It’s hard enough getting up and going to class,
Without the pressure that you have to pass.
But we are good enough, just in our own way.
As Albert Einstein once said,
“Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”
In first year I had an injury
But I never had a medical history
It was all new to me
Like it just couldn’t be
But it all went bad when it all kicked in
I was put down and basically left in the bin
I was made fun of and called a freak
But I wasn’t a freak I was just so weak
But it was 5 against 1
And they thought it was fun
But deep down it had a big effect
The feeling of neglect took over
I couldn’t go out the door
Because I would just be pushed to the floor
I never knew people could be that cruel
I just felt like a fool
My injury healed but some scars never did.
Having to fit into the smallest size just to have the ‘perfect body’
It’s all lies.
At the same time being told that your ass has to be BIG
Yet if your’e over a size 10, you’re considered a pig.
Once upon a time, it was beautiful to have pale skin
Now you have to spend a fortune on bottles of tan
And sure you’re a wimp if you can’t down that bottle of gin.
You can’t read a magazine without feeling the guilt
Creeping up on you for the rolls you eat in your school lunches
After all, “carbs make you fat”
So you better go and start doing those crunches
Between lashes, hair extensions, bleach blonde dye…
You have to be a living Barbie doll
If you ever want to meet the “perfect guy.”
Eimear Mansfield & Miu Fukuda
The Winds of Suffering
Its 2am on a Saturday night
In the campsite of the streets
In shivering cold
In the frost bitten moonlight
Passers-by too drunk to notice
The misery of these streets.
There’s no shelter from winter
No canopy to shield
The winds of suffering.
Patrick Hickey & Sophie McMahon
Waiting for something to make you complete.
Goals and standards, CV’s and profiles.
So how do I climb a ladder when all the rungs are broken?
When my shoes are filled with the weight of their words
Words of encouragement maybe or were they just words for dead dreamers
From someone who speaks through a filter
And tells you that you’re a number and your worth is measured by points.
Would you still see me if I didn’t make the cut
Or would I just disappear?
I’m trapped in my body,
My clothes are sloppy.
My belly is fat,
My hear looks like a jungle;
Feet: shape of a triangle.
The eyes of a wild boar,
My voice is a simple roar.
And still I feel good,
Keep hold of my mood.
Try to enjoy my life
And let the optimism thrive!
16, an emotional mess
The fact everyone “cares” but no one sees
The pain and no gain.
Retrain your emotions,
Put on a tough face
But at the base of my stomach
I try not to hurl
The doctor says you’ll grow out of it
They say you must be bullied but really,
It’s not that not all the time,
It’s just the stress
From friends to boys to fashion to school.
It’s a whirlpool of emotions,
It’s an ocean of tears.
We all want something. Actually, we want one thing: time.
That thing that we find almost as valuable as life.
We believe we need few minutes for things like comprehend, live, think….
But, do we actually use time as we should?
Imagine we have all the time we want to, just to do one single thing.
Most of us will choose to think, others would choose to eat their favourite food for the rest of their lives.
From all those persons that we choose to reflect, half of us. after all, would end thinking about silly things like the annoying dog of the house across the road or how good the girl of the 2nd floor plays the violin.
But, at the end we are the owners of of our mind and we choose what goes through it.
You might think your cool
Smoking behind the secondary school
You will end up in the afterlife
Because smoking will take your life
It’s not that hard to stop
Smoking behind a closed shop
You may be only 15
But try your hardest to get clean.
It’s hard to embrace the faces of billboard models,
When your morals are unquestioned.
Those catwalk faces photo shopped,
The real life plastic dolls.
A fake smile and a false heart,
The purist angels can’t help but fall.
This perfect perception gives me a headache,
Harder than the worst heartbreak.
The trial of life is like a work of art,
Just hope you don’t stumble and fall.
Jessica & Marie Claire
I am not a legend I sometimes like to think I am like every other guy my age
But of course I’m not and nobody I know is unfortunately
I haven’t accomplished anything special in my life
Or nothing that makes me feel special and that’s why I’m not a legend.
My year says do this and you will be a legend
Like breaking something or making a prank call
Or asking out somebody I’m not interested in.
And the adults don’t help either they have huge expectations that I will get straight A’s
In exams and generations before didn’t get the opportunity I have.
Is there immunity?
Is there a way out?
Can we all just be free from these dumb expectations?
Not good enough
They push us down
Not knowing we get back up
But we keep fighting,
With equality in our sighting
No skill, no speed, no strength,
Don’t notice what is underneath,
The hunger, the determination, the drive.
Zoe Mulligan & Hilary Balding
Bloody, lifeless and dead
A bullet to the head
Or a knife to the throat
Soon he’s on a boat
Lying limp on the ground
To your plate
To be enjoyed by you and your mates
Isn’t this insane
But to you its humane
When is murder right
You just can’t take the plight
That just like you
He had feelings too
A life taken for the sake of bacon.
I feel tired, tired of being tired.
Tied up in anxiety, feasting on my flesh.
Slept for days but awoke screaming, still tired.
Unapologetically authentic, they try to extinguish my flame.
Coat my body in petrol and ill light the match myself.
And if I eat less at lest ill have control over something in my life.
I feel the fear but I do it anyway.
Build up a world of magic because my real life is tragic.
And I will never have a perfect body like the girl on Instagram
Because all she eats is cigarettes and coffee and I cant afford the cigarettes.
All these requirements
You have to be thin, popular and clever
The list is endless it goes on forever
There is no room for individuality
NO room in this world for personality
There is just no room for the idiosyncratic
You’re only valued today if you’re status is static.
They said the earth was the middle
But it was the sun
They said the earth was flat
But it was round.
They said the sky was the limit
But it was the stars
They said everything seems to be
But it isn’t.
Jose Luis Torrente
If life gives you lemons
If life gives you diabetes
Don’t make lemonade.