Thoughts at 3am
I met you with my heart wide open,
Full of hope, trust, expectations.
I let you gradually
Peel away layer after layer after layer.
It was pleasant.
Your gentle fingers, soft hands, soft lips
Full of promises.
You reached the core.
It was all that mattered;
You, me; forever.
Forever, forever, forever…
Done. Goodbye. The bus left.
I look down and I’m in tatters.
Layers stick out at odd angles.
And it seems impossible
Now I don’t let anybody near,
For fear I fall apart.
I try to glue myself back together.
But it rains sometimes,
And I dissolve.
Layers stick out at odd angles.
Those who I let touch me,
Though I wish there were more;
Where did they go?
These hands are rough.
I miss your touch.
Where is my trust?
I go into a distant space
I feel alone I have no place
I feel sad, unwanted
But then I feel mad
And when I shout
I let it all out
Because keeping it in
Is like something bursting
Through my skin.
I fell asleep one night with blood dripping from my arm
I woke up in a dark deep forest
I think I’ve been here before
I used to walk here with my Dad but it never looked like this before
It was dark, deep and felt like death
With blood across the floor a hooded soul came over to me and whispered
“This is the forest of death why have you come here
The choice is up to you from here
Close you eyes or wake up.”
The girl was silent and closed her eyes
Her last words were
“I’m sorry Dad.”
You and I
You called me names,
You poked fun at me.
You broke me into a thousand pieces,
You told me I would be better off dead everyday
You made me feel worthless and that I was nothing,
I ignored those names
I laughed off all those mean words
I bandaged up my damaged, broken heart
I fought myself to live each day
I am not worthless
I am a human being too
I deserve to be here, just as much as you do
And guess what? There’s nothing that you can do!
Beauty is not just what we look like,
It is what is on the inside of us.
Don’t let anyone make you,
Feel bad about yourself.
Love is about those who you care about,
And those who care about you.
If you make someone feel bad,
They won’t love you too !
I saw that you were slowing down,
I saw that you were hurting.
I knew the time was about to come,
I knew that it was coming.
Soon you were lying in your bed,
Unable to move or talk.
I still told you all my stories,
And you would nod your head.
I sat beside your bedside,
Hoping that somehow this wouldn’t have to happen.
But God knew you could not live,
God knew you had to go.
You took your last breathe,
I shed my first tear,
And I will never forget you,
And always love you Grandad dear.
When I Was Young
Can we all take a minute to think back before we all had iPhones and boyfriends at the age of 14.
When girls at 13 didn’t know what ‘shift’ meant.
We all went outside and played with our friends and we actually talked to each other, not having our heads stuck in our phones.
And our signal to come home was when the street lights came on.
When we had Nintendos, colouring books, trampolines and swings not swiping through Tinder and swiping right on everyone because we could.
When being a little over-weight wasn’t a problem, now everyone’s expected to be thin, like a barbie doll.
When we weren’t afraid to talk to lads when we were younger because they didn’t care if we were short, thin, fat or tall.
When we can’t even be friends with a lad today, without people thinking “ye’re riding on the sly” or calling us “sl*ts” behind our backs.
Society is f**ked up in the 21st century, please just take me back to when I was young, with not a care in the world.
I am fat
But who cares
I am a rat
But who cares
I am not pretty
but who cares
I am shitty
But who cares.
Me myself and I
Are the only people that lie
I love me for who I am
You should too
Are you a lamb ?
Just be calm
Just tell them haters to shoo
Just let loose
Be a goose.
Today you are YOU
That is TRUER than true
There is no one alive
That is YOUER than
Be yourself for once
To hell with all them
I am pretty
Just in my own way
Be the same
Even if you think your lame
They hate you
‘Cause they AIN’T you.
The Spotless Cheetah
Growing up I knew I was a different type of cat
Everyone would make fun of me they would call me “strange”,
“Weird”, they told me I didn’t belong here.
My mum told me I was special and one of a kind .
It was hard for me growing up ,I would ask myself “Why me?”,
Why am I the only one with no spots!?. Everyone thinks I am weird and different
I may look different on the outside, but in the inside I feel like any other cheetah
I still have the urge to hunt, I can run just as fast as everyone else its just my skin
I don’t understand why everyone hates me because of my skin
If we weren’t so judgemental the word would be a happier place
Why do I have to feel this way because they have nothing better to do
Yes I’m different, but if we were all the same the world would be so boring
Maybe I am special and one of a kind
I need to start embracing my skin and being proud because I’m unique
Not hating myself and feeling down because I’m different!
Being a teenager is so hard.
We go through day after day trying to fit in or just trying to be good enough.
There’s the stressing of exams after exams after exams.
The stressing of being terrified to go to a class because the teacher frightens you.
There’s the stress of not being stick thin and not having the perfect body.
Being judged on your past or something as simple as your last name.
The worrying about what people are going to think of you if you’ve never shifted anyone or if you’ve shifted loads of people.
The anxiety, depression and eating disorders are three things teenagers have to deal with on a daily basis but still fake a smile while saying ”i’m fine” but waiting for someone to hug you and say that you’re not okay and that its alright not to be okay.
Constantly feeling like you’re not good enough is exhausting and teenagers just want to feel something other than hate for themselves.
Girls are worrying about not being pretty enough or not having long hair or skinny enough and boys constantly wanting to be taller with a six pack and to be on the county team just to get a girlfriend or to be respected by ‘the lads’.
Teenagers have life so hard but no one ever asks if they’re okay or if they need help.
Parents only care about how your grades are or how clean your room is but never about their children’s feelings.
Life for teenagers is all about being judged.
I’m a Lucky One
I always thought life was stupid, meaningless,
Because all that animals do is work, eat, fight with each other and eat more.
There’s the lucky ones, and the unlucky ones.
The poor ones, the starving ones, the ones whose heads swirl with grief and misery.
Life is really meaningless for the unlucky ones.
But how would I know?
That’s only what I’m told.
I’m a lucky one
I will have an education, a future.
I have have wonderful parents, friends, and an amazing school.
Everything’s just great.
I’m a lucky one
And people are dying in the streets.
And then there’s these other lucky ones
Who think charity will solve all of the world’s problems.
You make those unlucky ones live for another few years.
So they can die the same death.
Why should I be a lucky one?
Why was it simply an accident?
And then you have adults saying “You’re just a teenager,
You’re questioning everything because…”
I appreciate being a lucky one.
I feel sort of bad for being a lucky one.
And that brings me back to my point.
Life is stupid
Life is meaningless.
My Everyday Life
I don’t really care what people think
I just turn around and wink
I carry on with my day
Waiting for someone to say, “Hey!”
I don’t ever let anyone bring me down
I try my hardest not to frown
In PE class I get picked last
Because no one wants me on their team
And that’s a fact.
Deep Down Freak
We’re always being judged by our looks and dragging qualities,
But no one ever looks at the personalities
Sometimes all you are is that know nothing freak
But you’re just so terrified you don’t know how to speak
People say that names never hurt you
But these are the phrases that desert you
Out all alone where you think no one’s your friend
You say to yourself “Is this pain gonna end?”
You sit in your room and think about all this strife,
You wonder if there’s meaning in your little life.
You walk into school wishing you could go home
You just hope that everyone would leave you alone.
You finally come home and lock yourself in your room
You ask “How much pain can my body consume?”
But this life, the haters, the friends
But remember to hold on because eventually pain ends!
8-years-old told “Be Yourself ”
Now I’m told I’m weird.
9-years-old told ” Don’t Worry”
But the bully was all I feared.
By 11-years-old told ” I Can Be What I Want ”
Now money is all that matters.
Family said I was always pretty
But I was terrified of appearance and if I was fatter.
Later I learned that I’m never gonna be good enough,
But I don’t care anymore, so tough.
I was also told that poems should rhyme,
So this is just me being a REBEL!!
Niamh Bambrick & Grace Hogan
Life’s A Rainbow
No one ever knows what goes on in your mind
No one ever knows what you’ve been threw in life
You don’t say a word and let it kill you inside
People think your happy
Just because they see you smile.
But life’s not all rainbows
When you have a life like mine.
Fire ablaze within my eyes,
A smile concealing all my lies,
Screaming, begging, calling out
A final, frantic, desperate, shout.
Blood dripping from each vein,
There is no way to stop this pain,
An endless, worthless, piece of shame,
Please can we stop playing this game.
I’m dying inside and can’t take it anymore,
Lying here in the bathroom on the floor,
As each day passes I cry and cry
The more I cut the more I die.
I’m in darkness, and all alone,
I’m so fragile can’t feel a bone,
I call out for some help,
No-one hears so I yelp.
Zoe Ramsbottom & Caitlin Doheny
There’s no need to pretend
There’s no need to hide
You’re beautiful as you are
With that every bit of scar
Know that beauty is only skin deep
And it’s everything that you can’t forever keep
So don’t even think any less of yourself
Be true to your heart, Be true to yourself
Because inner beauty is what counts the most
And it makes you glow more than you know
Don’t ever forget that true beauty is within you
Because what you hold inside your heart is the beauty that never fades.
Aislinn Treacy & Cliodhna O’Shea
You should know, bullying hurts,
It starts with one word, one word you blurt.
Stupid, not good enough , weird
These are the words they hear.
Day by day you hurt them to the core,
And everyday they hurt more and more
All they ask for is one true friend,
But you make them want their lives to end.
All the time they feel regret,
All they want to do is forget.
It’s not just hitting and punching, it’s the words you say,
They hurt so much, they want to fade away.
But one more thing before you go,
Turn your back and say no ,
Then you will go away
And make sure you have a good day
Rachel Birch & Kelsey Dawson
A feeling so soft, yet so strong
Can feel so right and so wrong
It can pick you up or bring you down
Makes you smile, makes you frown
Can last forever or for one day
Makes you wanna run or wannna stay
Can grow slowly or in a second
Makes you better or leaves you poisoned
Makes you happy or lose your mind
Can make you see, makes you blind
In so many shapes and sizes
Involves two of a kind or
Love…..has so many effects
Can be so difficult and complex
But even when its whispered
Love stays such a simple word that
Can’t be misread…
When they say you are not good enough and you will never have a chance,
When they shout and scream at you, when you try to advance,
I know it hurts inside, but they can’t change who you are,
Because compared to you, they will never go as far,
Like a flower trying to bud,
But can’t find any sun,
When no one is there and you just want to run.
Just look inside and find the light,
Because no matter what they say, they are never right!
If you think you are weak and you will never be strong,
Just think that you have fought this long!
They think they know everything, well they most definitely do not!
Because you are amazing and can do a lot!
Don’t cry about what they say about you,
Because I know inside that it is not true
So when they say you’re not good enough and you will never have a chance,
Just ignore them and think how far you will advance!
I stand here at this headstone, well I wish I did
I was never there because me and my brother couldn’t go because we were grandkids.
Instead I sit at my desk thinking about life, I wonder what happened at his afterlife farewell.
My dad calls me to dinner, brandishing a bread knife.
My mother is abroad, at the afterlife farewell,
I know the family is all in a depressed mood, as far as I can tell.
My brother tries to not let his emotions show, as cry silently
I thought I saw your ghost, which scared me violently.
I heard ring of fire was played at your farewell, a lot our lowered goodbye to that,
Before your farewell I saw a picture of you, healthy and handsome.
I guess it could never last, I guess the extended family is relieved from ransom
When you came home and when we headed off with in a week,
I could feel your presence as if you were here.
But I knew you weren’t and tried not to shake with fear.
In the taxi ride we passed your final resting place.
I tried to imagine you’re your funeral and your mourners’ faces
Walk into the light, for I now know your safe.
So there is this boy
And the way he laughs
Makes me smile
And the way he talks gives me butterflies
And just about everything about him makes me happy
Although he might be a bit snappy
I would run a mile just to see him smile
He makes my life worthwhile
I love him.
Emily Reason & Grainne Foran
Primary school, a lovely memory most peers have of old friends and kind words.
Then leaving the nest like a flock of birds.
Although, when I hear the term… a whole lot of rotten memories come back
An experience that they have unlikely heard.
As a young youth, my innocence unbroken and a quiet mouth, that was when things quickly went south.
My classmates were okay, I could bear their din for at least one day.
The teachers, however, made the day feel like forever.
Their harsh words and put-downs, forcing you to talk to people your age in the playgrounds.
Whatever you did was never good enough, the pressure was tough.
I was told to be pushed around like a ragdoll, a pushover, a doormat.
I was told that kindness would get me nowhere but anxiety will.
Tia Ramon O’Sullivan
I’m lucky to have a family so happy
My family are special in every way
Encouraging me more and more each day
Ye are the reason why I’m strong
Nothing will go wrong when I know you’re there
Thank ye for always being there showing me that ye care.
Why do people say we shouldn’t eat bad food
When most of the people who educate us about it eat lots of bad food themselves
Bad food is everywhere.
It’s so good
It’s there for us when nobody else is.
Example: When lads don’t love you
Ice cream is always there for you.
Aoife Butler & Emily Ahern
I am a person of survival,
But growing was not really my title
A dead soul was waiting for revival
A young girl who became suicidal
I was never in the form of perfection
So I became the best example of neglect
I couldn’t sleep at night
Knowing it wasn’t alright
I was crying in a heap,
But the secret of my pain is a secret I had to keep
They say I died of suicide
But no one knows how much I lied
It wasn’t a blade, pills, or rope
They broke my heart, they took my hope.
Emily Lawless Greene & Roisin Foley
Why do we care so much?
Why do we make a big deal over the little things?
Why are people changing society for the worse?
Why do children go to school at the age of 4?
Why don’t parents let them have a life before?
Why do teenagers have to stress?
Why cant people let children think less?
Why can’t they let them live their own life?
Why cant we choose our own life?
Why does society rule?
Lynn Dwan & Faye Vaughan
School is stress
In school, you have to impress
And by impress you can’t fail
Why the hell do we have to learn history,
It won’t effect the future,
The past is the past,
The future will be the future
Just because we can’t get straight A’s
It doesn’t have to mean we get more homework
Just because were smart don’t call us nerds
Just because we get it
It just makes you jealous
So it just makes sense school is stress and remember you don’t have to impress
The past is the past the future will be the future.
Meg Ryan & Charlotte Teehan
Imagine a world where we were all happy,
Where we saw our hearts and our minds before our skin,
Where age, weight and grades were only numbers,
Where our lives revolved around imagination and creativity,
Where we all lived in harmony.
Not this world,
The World we live in we judge with our eyes and not our hearts,
Our definition of beauty is the way we look and not how we think or feel,
Our world is a war between humans trying to outdo each other,
This world has some of the greatest minds memorizing rather than creating,
This world needs a new beginning,
It needs a new window to look through,
It needs a change or we wont last
It needs you.
The Words are Coming
We used to go somewhere every Saturday
Now you have other priorities
I sit alone
And then it all comes at once
The walls can’t hold them back anymore
The words are coming,
The words are coming
I wait for them to hit me
Dull disinterest is replaced
By strong sharp pain
Suddenly rationality has no place here
And i forget what really matters
The walls are suffocating
I feel at home
The words are coming
The words are coming.