The look of a heart
Is one of a face
A face with flaws
Flaws that shine
A face is perfect
A face is untainted
A heart is a look of sudden
Bursting to a cacophony of
The look of a heart is
A life untold
And in one look
Is thought to be known.
I cannot find
those pieces of pain
unlike everyone else,
different yet beautiful.
A lonely road
reminds me of childhood,
that paradise far from home
where music plays
and every Christmas
is a white one.
Getting Back up
I feel my heart beat out of my chest as I walked into the school yard,
I walked slowly and hoping no one will notice me,
Then I hear someone behind me.
I fell to the ground,
I never knew what to do,
I couldn’t handle the pressure,
I felt lifeless, nothing.
Tried to pick myself up all the time,
So eventually I stood up for myself.
I felt more alive.
The day is late
Stars are shining brightly.
There’s people at a restaurant
I’m there with my family.
Everything is normal
Nothing strange is happening,
I hear a loud bang
Now terrorists are attacking.
They shoot people at random
People are collapsing.
I get on the ground quickly
I play dead it’s unrelaxing.
After a while I get up slowly
People around me are dead.
I look down at my family
They’re alive thankfully.
What is food?
Food is life!
What is life?
Life is meant for living
Living is meant for love
Love is meant for relationship
Relationship is about commitment
Commitment is about giving
Giving is gaining
Gaining equals weight
Weight equals weight watchers
Weight watchers equal depression
Depression equals suicide
Suicide is loss
Loss is funerals
Funerals equals gathering
Gatherings equal food
Moral of story
Food is life
Life is food
How to Conform?
I’m normal and different
I’m weird and I’m fake
.we’re always looking and watching
To see the mistake
If we open out mouths: we get shouted out
I read all the quotes
I see the movies and clips
They inspire and provoke
But all too soon
They’re just one more joke
Were taught how to add
To write and to spell
But were never told how to live in the swell
The bustle and rumble of each of our lives
.we follow by example, we go where they lead
The pressure kicks in it makes us all cubed
Each one the same: no circles or dents.
We all have a part : a part in the play
In high school or collage
In work or at home.
We go by statistics but still we stay dumb
Were caught in this trap … a tightly locked cage
A padlock or conformity. One we engaged
Were afraid to stand out
To shout out to talk
But out talents are waiting
For us to grab it and show.
I’m crazy and freaky
But I’ve a long way to go.
The Captivity of Negativity
They say to work but can only recite
They say put pen to paper, stay in the lines
The captivity of creativity
‘Teach’, go home and get paid
Stay in line, Stay in school, do your work
No creativity and no productivity
Focus on the wrong side, stay within the lines
No creativity, only the lines.
Broken faces behind masks.
Cracks held together by generic compliments,
Like from a tacky Valentines card.
Telling each child the same thing,
It becomes meaningless.
Acting like they care.
Telling us to embrace our differences,
but judging the outsiders.
Hidden meanings with exceptions and exclusions .
How can you tell us to fix ourselves,
When you keep breaking us?
The power of words,
Targets the nerds.
In other people’s thoughts they drown.
Making them feel like a clown.
Their hearts are bitten,
But the words already written.
It’s too late now,
She’s just a cow.
8 schools, 5 moves, 11 houses, 72 flights
Home, where’s home? Where I am, where I was.
Never there first, always the new kid, always trying to fit in,
Fit in groups where there’s no space
No space, no space, no space for me.
How can I recreate 8 years?
I’m not going to change who I am.
Anything permanent feels wrong, missing something is a given;
Missing people I’ve left, missing events, seeing my friends do things.
Fear of missing out.
I want to belong but where?
Home is where the heart is, but where; across the sea, or here?
What happens when they leave you, when the ones that you planned to keep,
To depend on, are not dependable?
You’d think I’d learn;
Where I belong.
Some of us play games on tvs, on phones, online. So we get called lame
Everyone else plays sport, they’re own game, exactly the same
So why is it they’re called inspirations, receive all the fame.
A common greeting of “who do you support”, something so simple brings on dismay
cause the people who bully you, say you can’t play, were the first ones to push you away
Why should I suffer for doing the same thing just with a screen
Why can’t I be popular and confident and why can they, it makes me scream
Bullying – I roll my eyes at the word
I have heard it all before
But what I didn’t hear was my own voice
The tiny one inside me
Screaming to be heard
But I tried to ignore it
I don’t know a bully – nor am I being bullied
Everything is okay
We had a talk as a class about “The Bully”
I sat there silently
Waiting for someone to own up
Some glances at me
I heard the tiny voice inside me
The one screaming to be heard
I tried to ignore it
But I thought: Am I the bully?
All those light-hearted comments and slight slagging?
All that jeering at the latest awkward couple?
No – I am not the bully
It is all a bit of fun.
Rap about the way women are portrayed in the media
These rappers are comedy
They’re saying that they’re prodigies
Think we need an apology
The game is an atrocity
They don’t even acknowledge me?
Though I’m the only one that raps audibly
Honestly, their policy, something they use commonly
Speaking about women dishonestly
Like we are a commodity
Where is the equality?
They need to speak more consciously
We need a new philosophy
It’s not just music artistry
Girls in magazine photography
It’s basically pornography
This happens in the world constantly
It could be your own progeny!
So don’t ignore this honesty
Because this is so possibly
The end of these monstrosities
Well it is in my prophecy
So take a stand and follow me
For women’s rights of a better quality.
Rap about exceeding the expectations people have always had about me.
Since day one I’ve been acting dumb,
Presenting like I don’t know sum for sum,
Not realising it upset my mum,
Just sat there doing nothing until my future would come.
But I understand everything going on in class,
I learn things fast,
But I just can’t be asked,
To study, and so I barely pass,
I’m just trying to go and make this happiness last.
Because that’s what everybody expects of me,
I guess they don’t see,
That I’m potentially,
Ready to spit a verse on MTV,
And be richer than the almighty bourgeoisie,
The interviewers will ask me what’s the key?,
And I’ll tell them not to take life to seriously,
While those bitches from school will be cleaning streets,
Calling me up like “Hey Joanne! remember me?”
I’ll be like you’re the one who used to say,
“Haha no Joanne that’s not the way”,
“OMG you’re so screwed for the exams in may”,
“Don’t come looking for money on the day”,
“You flunked out of college and you’re left astray”,
“And every night on the streets you shall lay”,
“Stealing money from the tip jar at the café”,
Well now I’m queen so all obey,
And I’m your leader so kneel and pray,
And serve me until you shall pass away,
And remember all the crap you used to say,
So please move and give way,
To the great and almighty queen J.
Forget those bitches they don’t know nothing about me,
They don’t even know my middle name well its Louise,
And now they’re getting down on their knees,
Like “Joanne I wrote a song make it famous please?”,
Success so far has been a disease,
Because now everybody wants something from me,
Just cause I’m known across every continent and sea,
I feel uneasy,
I’ve only had success briefly,
Well now everybody’s trying to please me,
And everybody said I was just dreamy,
I guess I got a visit from a genie,
He gave me some wishes and he gave me three,
I wished for fame everytime I guess I’m greedy,
Cause now everyone in the world has seen me,
On magazines and on their own TV,
And I guess I find that kind of creepy.
If you rewind back to the days,
When I came home feeling like a disgrace,
Telling my mom at a slow pace,
About the exam that I had that day.
Like “I didn’t pass my exam and I’m really sorry mama,
But don’t cause a drama,
Or endure yourself in trauma,
Because I’m going to be the next Whitney or Madonna,
And be more important than Mr Dali Lama,
They’ll be putting my name on t-shirts and pyjamas”,
“Joanne it’s about the grades why can’t you be more like Rhonda?”,
“Well I’ll drive a Lambourgini she’ll drive a Honda,
So you’re really gonna,
Have to look at the panorama,
That right now this rap is hotter than a sauna,
It could explode at any time well if it wanna,
Well I’m gonna ride it out until I can’t no longer,
Maybe I’ll stop when I reach heaven or Nirvana.
When dreams from the heart
Say reach for that star and awaken a spark from within,
Let go of your fears believe in yourself
you’ve taken the steps, now begin.
Use an angel’s wing to remind you that amazing things are possible
If you truly believe in your dreams.
Teresa Villas Luna
When people say whatever they can just to get the attention of the people around them.
Even when their joke or comment is obviously hurting someone, they don’t care.
They know there won’t be any consequences; after all it was a JOKE!
Their confidence is boosted, but at a cost,
The victim isn’t going to show it but inside they ARE BROKE!
No one seems to care about, how they feel, or whether they’re okay,
Sure after all it’s just another sad BLOKE!
Live and Watch
Watching my life go past as I sit and watch,
Just doing nothing but stare in boredom.
Everyday is the same,
Go to school, get told how to live and go home
Every day is the same.
Everything is grey and hard to breathe
Just thriving to live my own life
And not let anyone stop me.
As i thought what I could write, what happened in my life, occurs to my just the different between Ireland and Germany. I think it was really hard and tough for me to come here.
In Germany I had a lot of fun…
I never thought about myself and…I think I never had the time.
And know I have this time!
I think it is the best experience I ever made! I learned a lot just about me.
Now I know what opportunities I have…and I have to use them…
I can do a lot more than I did until now.
A world hidden by the blurriness of our eyes
A world hidden deep by a disguise
A world were no pain is felt at all
A world where you can fly but never fall
I imagine it like coming home from a week at camp, familiar
I imagine being always happy, never feeling fear
An angel comes and takes my hand as we transcend to another land
Suddenly Jesus appears from a light
He takes my hand and holds it tight
My journey has come to an end but my soul will forever ascend.
I walk class to class,
Through door to door,
From a to b,
Without a glance, smile or recognition
“Yeah I think I saw her in my class”
I sit in nine classes a day,
I see at least nine teachers a day,
They don’t see me.
“It’s easier to leave her
Sitting on her own”,
They push anti-ostracising on students,
But ignore it in their own class.
“She’s just having a bad day.”
Then everyday is a “bad day.”
“Friends with everyone”,
No friends at all.
“She’s finding her footing”,
It must be one slippery 12-year slope.
“The other tables are full”,
Sitting alone at lunch.
Look at the reality.
She’s big and blue
And that’s the only way she’ll do
She’s hard to beat
Because she’s pure concrete.
Year on year
My bear John Deere
You plough the fields
To grow my good meals.
Special, shameful, terrifying
Till they come around again
With a look, a smile, a kiss
ISIS are causing a crisis
They are the sleeping beast of the middle east
The have announced that they will pounce on the EU
Take a hike because we will use an air strike.
I don’t like you anymore
The way you’ve started to care so much
The way you try so hard
You think too much
You fool them
You fool you
You don’t fool me
I love you
I just don’t like you anymore
I just can’t.
Child of a pair of lovers,
One from the East and one from the West.
Born and raised in Asia, and yet,
I don’t belong.
Two names, two identities,
two different languages and way of living.
Even if I know both, even if I had the experience,
It’s never easy, since I’m greeted with the other.
Almost all conversation starts with ‘so where are you from?’
And ‘here’ never answers their queries.
But even when I leave, to where my father was born,
I get the same question, and it never stops.
Wherever I go, it doesn’t matter what I speak,
I’ll always get approached by the other.
‘Wow you’re fluent, have you been here before?’
Of course I have, I was born and raised here.
In the East I look western; in Ireland I look Asian,
No matter where I go, where I’m living
What my first language is, and what culture I’ve experienced,
I don’t belong.
Patience runs thin like lingering fog
A dense smoke structure seeping from a cancerous dick
Held between stained teeth and a dry tongue.
How long must it be before blackened lungs can once more taste the sex of sickness
And relief of dying addiction.
It’s all too familiar although it’s been a while.
Soon we mistake what we want with what we need;
Lose one fag for half a drag and quickly the box is barren.
Too young it left, too soon we came.
The climax was costly, the residue no longer weightless.
Nothing is worth the tobacco tar that sticks and festers with longing desires.
The embodiment of pleasure becomes the end of control
But it was for control of the end we began.
Cold freezing air involves
All the stations
Birds’ whistles and children’s screams
What to think?
What to feel?
What to love?
What to say?
Inspiration is a weird thing. It can be very useful but also dangerous.
It can be used to motivate you to do or become something. It can be used to give you adrenaline to give you that extra “stuff” you need in a match/race. I think many people who make inspirational video’s on YouTube are cowards but are sneaky and smart. I think these people that make these videos are too afraid to do something that can change opinions/views or the world.
Inspiration can also be dangerous; it causes an adrenaline rush which can cause people to do things without putting thought into it. For example an athlete could get an inspirational speech before a match. This speech can give you the extra “stuff” you need; it could make you make a rash decision like hitting someone. This could then cause you to be sent off the pitch and then you will be after letting your team down.
I sit in school
Laugh when I hear the cues
The “introvert”, the aloof perfectionist
Who would rather die than lose.
Such is life,
The definition of normality.
So I sit, numb, by the light of my phone
Waiting for someone to message me
Because although I love being alone
I don’t fancy being lonely.
Hope is beautiful.
It looks like sunrise and sounds like a baby crying,
Hope is the reason for life and the bright side of death.
Hope inspires millions and saves more,
Hope is the beginning
But hope trips you at the final bend,
And shows you what could have been.
Hope unleashes a world of possibility,
Only to be suddenly choked by society leaving you alone
My Own Poem
There was a classroom
Filled with dumb students
Taught by a poem teacher
That wanted the people
To write their own poem
About what they want.
So, this is mine
I am one of those dumb students
Who don’t know what to write about
So, this is mine
This is my poem
My dumb poem.
My coach: The Bully
He shouts abuse at me.
Does it make him feel big?
He’s a grown man bullying a kid he’s supposed to coach.
Why does he do this?
I never did anything wrong, he’s just horrible.
That’s My Coach: The Bully
The Lucky Ones
We are the lucky ones,
That’s what they say.
No world steeped in poverty
And fallen into decay.
But take a look around you
And tell me what you see
Is it a shiny new world,
Living in harmony?
Our own people freezing on the streets
Declaring wars and dropping bombs
Donating to causes like the new iPhone 6
Are we lucky? No. We are wrong.
It is hard the way that everyone seems to look down at you.
How your mood is always sad, how you seem to be always in a bad mood or you are tired when your friends talk to you.
How you always feel on your own. How you are always the butt of the joke. How you are blamed for stuff that you did not do. When you try to join into something that your friends are doing even though it is against the rules, you are the only one to get into trouble.
You are mocked for the stupid stuff that you say and the things that you do not say.
How your “supposed friends” make fun of you for being different. For believing in something that other people do not give a crap about. Such as your religion, the way you do not drink even though everyone around you looks forward to the weekend when they can get pissed off their heads.
The way that you would prefer to stay at home than have your eardrums burst as you try to enjoy a night out even though everybody else is falling all over the place with drink and how you never seem to get with any girls as everyone else seems to be doing.
How you are always the one to be left out of any groups that are formed for group work in school. How you try to join a conversation and how your soul crumbles as they ignore you.
How people take up as much room at the table at lunch and how you are pushed to the end of the table, beside the people that get on to your nerves as your friends snigger and joke. I hate the way that you sit on one end of the table beside one of the popular people and then the rest of the kids come down and sit at the other side of the table even though the whole table is free. Then the person sitting beside or across from you leaves and sits next to them and how your self esteem starts to crumple into a thousand pieces and your mood is turned cold for the rest of the day.
Boring classes day in day out, five days a week Hours upon hours of homework seven days a week. And yet they still expect us to study, get straight A’s ,play sport, have friends, relationships and a social live and get eight hours of sleep .In school you’re taught a lesson and then given a test, but in life you’re given a test and then taught a lesson. You have to learn from your mistakes and not look back. Living in a society where girls are called sluts and guys are called legends for doing the same thing!
Heavy, rough, banned.
Swirled freaking around the surface.
Beneath what those drained bulged eyes can see.
Stomach feels tight,heavy rage.
Feet shaking jittering. Unprecidented. Quiet
Our lifes. Theyre not all just the same. Those beliefs we hold onto.
Our faces, Our opinions, our brains.
The way you walk the walk.
The way you fall.
How do you react?
Climb back up or go back down
We are expected to make the same actions as others, to follow them, to imitate their every move when these actions mostly consist of bad, irrational actions. People, who retaliate, disagree with these actions are called names like pussy, chicken, gay etc… People claim they are peer pressured into these ideas, WE are all given choice, and it’s only a matter of who makes the right ones. Society today mainly consists of backstabbers, hypocrites, assholes, bullies that try to rip you apart piece by piece from the inside.
It is also hard to find that one true friend that will stick with you, be there for you in time of need, to support you, to trust you and for you to have faith and trust in them. You’re always judged on EVERY action you make depending on where you are on a “popular scale”, whether they are good or bad decisions, depending white kind of personality they have others become self-conscious of what they do. For example, drink and drugs, if you don’t take them, you’re alienated from the crowd and called names. Whenever boys are nice to girls, respecting them, caring for them, we are called faggots, gay? Why? Being nice to girls, respecting them is gay all of a sudden? If a guy pulls loads of girls, or uses them whether its sex or just a pull, their considered as a “lad”? A “legend”? A “stud”? Maybe it’s depending on all different levels of maturity; some people have hit it earlier than others.
How to Pretend Like a Teenager
Every day I see that one boy
The child at the back of the class.
Shunned in the lunch room
Laughed at and stabbed in the back,
Led on and cut up; someone with dreams, with a talent.
A talent we make fun of, belittle and squash.
So what that he’s creepy different and weird. I want to
Speak up but deep down I’m too scared. But maybe I’m not,
Perhaps I pretend to myself that ill speak out and stand up.
I tell myself that I want to shout out…and I do
But each time that I do my voice is laughed down.
The faces of ‘friends’ and each of our voices .we drown out and smother
Each thought and each act….we are not individuals but
Parts of a whole….we long to break out, to speak up to shout out
…to sing and to talk, to rap and to write but we can’t. We
Each holds one another back.
We smile and we chatter
We tease and we taunt, but deep down
We are all: each and every one of us… every me, my, I and us
… every we and they, we are all far too scared: we pray and we plead
Don’t turn on me.
It’s the ones with the status are the ones that I pity
…. they fight and they bitch… they gossip and squeal.
Scrambling and clawing their way to the top, always… yes always a
New face, a fake smile, an endless façade presented to us,
But sometimes it slips in the blink of an eye, the mask crumbles and shatters.
The boy at the back, the brainiac girl,
The sporty, the spotty
The small and the scared,
The arty and mean. We are all just the same
So old and so new, are lives are played out
With our hearts full of doubt.
We all have out talents
We cheat and we lie
We put down and cut up
We hurt and we kill.
Our attitudes are poison… worse than a spill.
We drift through the day
Not giving a damn.
Our hearts are sunken and closed like a clam.
I want to HELP, but my voice is one of many
Nor more than a drop in the ocean
But have hope as the ocean is no more
Than a multitude of drops .
If everyone helps or
Holds out a hand… But dreams are just dreams
You can’t just make plans.
I have no belief, no faith and no god.
I was washed in the water… and forced into church
But still. I too pretend. I smile and I laugh.
I walk and I talk.
I try to adhere to the mould but
I can see the cracks and hear it fracture
My prison is breaking but…can I break free?
In 1st I was different I stood out but was mocked
In 2nd year I started to weaken. I blocked
Out the catcalls the words and the names.
But now I’m barely here at all… no more than a ghost
Of my colourful past, just one more shade of grey.
I’ve become one of many… one more voice in the crowd.
Did you see them,
You turn your back,
Contrast to black and blue you wish you could just start a new,
But you just can’t,
The names they call you, the abuse the abuse they give you,
They know not how you feel,
There is one who will say “Hey, that’s scant”,
But soon they will turn on them as well, give them the same shit “you little twit”,
They too will be thrown into that bloody pit,
You try to crawl out, you can try and shout,
They can throw stones to break your bones, they can hurl names to hurt you,
You swim in a black void, you can try and avoid,
But you are stone dead ,
Your time is set get ready,
Your arms and legs become spaghetti,
Your soul is lead,
Shake it off ,
That’s enough to make your stand
This is the end,
You will achieve victory or defeat even if it is one mean feat,
But if you pull it all together,
You can win,
You will no longer suffer blight but finally see the light,
One little hiccup,one major fuck up,
And all hell breaks loose again,
They will turn you black and blue,
Bony hands rest on your shoulders deaths a knocking on your door,
But we are soldiers and when we win we will be rocking cause in this hour we will make our stand upon this land,
You are corrupted by pills and drugs taking abuse from those thugs,
Is there any light at the end of this rainbow,
They draw out the pain real slow we are down real low,
But this is the end we shall make a stand,
You’re a ticking time bomb ready to explode tick tick tick boom,
In our final hour will spell their doom,
Cause soon we will win,
Our souls will no longer be lead, we will no longer be shot down dead,
Evil is a sin,
We will kill the blight and make them finally see the light
Teenage drinking, two words that explain more about sixteen year olds than you could ever.
Two words that parents roll their eyes at when the eerie words are repeated day after day and what do the idiotic, clueless people that we call our parents reply, “My daughter would never touch that”, or “My son is too caught up on video games to even think about that”.
Here’s another two words for all you clueless parents “Wake up”
Yes teenage drinking in your eyes is obscene but does that really mean your son hasn’t gone out with the ‘lads’ drinking while you are too oblivious to realise he isn’t asleep in bed. Or does that mean your sixteen year old princess who goes to bed at 8p.m every night hasn’t gone to her messed up boyfriend’s house to drink.
We live in a society where teenage drinking is acceptable. Your son accepts it, your daughter accepts it, even teachers accept it but for some God damn reason parents don’t. They live in their own bubble where everything is perfect when realistically it’s not.
Two words, six letters, wake up.
We are forced to rehearse, repeat and recite pages of people’s thoughts so that we can regurgitate them upon exam day. Indoctrinated by theories of the past, our imaginations and ability to improvise are strained out of us.
These essays, quotes and formulae seem to be the only passport to ‘success’. The teenage intelligence is based only on how well we can repeat what we have been told but not what we have to say. Our ideas, thoughts and opinions are disregarded, disassembled and disposed of. We are forced to think with the minds of others. Any form of innovation is seen as rebelling against the teachers.
Silenced by their authority we memorize the next sheet we are handed.
Pressure is one thing that annoys me the most, as in the pressure to do well in school and exams. The pressure to reach your goals that your parents and teachers expect you to reach. The peer pressure of smoking, drinking and doing drugs. The pressure to work your best for the best future. And the pressure to make everyone have a positive attitude towards you, to have a lot of friends and to be a happy looking person 24/7.
This world is so messed up
It gives us no opportunity to speak our mind and that.
The rules are so ‘strict’ and shit, telling us to do this and that.
Not giving us an opportunity to blow their minds
Giving us lectures, speeches and detention slips,
Telling what we did was wrong but we trying to make it right.
Telling us to go to your bedroom while screeching and roaring.
Some people inside the this world is thick in the brain.
Trying to mess it up for everyone, hey!
But the reality is that life goes on,
Live your dreams and opportunities,
That might only come once!
So ignore everyone that tells you no,
That say ”you can’t do”
So believe in yourself, this is your life
Prove them wrong and make your life shine!
Forced to learn stuff we will never use again, sitting in pointless classes, not wanting to be there, sitting joyless. We will never use this stuff again. Learning no life skills yet we are expected to know how to raise a family and finance skills to sort our earnings. We don’t know what to do with ourselves when we get to college and suddenly we are supposed to become independent, carrying all this extra haulage, after spending a life reliant on parents and no being given any freedom in school. Thrown into the real world, at the deep end, and we don’t know what to do with ourselves.
Teenagers today live in a harsh and judgemental world that although they claim to understand nobody really gets.
Nobody understands the pressure of feeling you have to get drunk when really you’d rather wake up the following morning without a pounding headache.
Nobody gets the pressure that girls feel that they have to look their best no matter what their doing.
Nobody stops to think what it must be like for a teenager who each day struggles to fit in at school, who have lived their whole life running from the cruel, vicious words of the bullies who taunt them.
Nobody realises that if we miss one assignment or fail one test in school that maybe it’s because at our age we are being put through one of the toughest tests of our life.
Nobody apart from us understand how much pressure there is to be the one that all the guys want, but that you have to be careful, you wouldn’t want people to think you’re a slut.
Nobody can really understand what life is like for teenagers of our age. Nobody can understand the pressure and expectations teenagers our age feel.
And yet the most common line we hear is, “We understand. We were sixteen once.”
The Pressure of Your Peers
The things that annoy me the most is the fact that the people close to you can pile so much pressure and negativity on you that it can change the way you think and can even change your life forever. It is a stressful time trying to fit in to the group and be part of the “cool crowd”. The pressure to drink alcohol under-age is phenomenal. The encouragement sometimes drives the individual to keep going with smoking and taking weed. This can very bad later in life with addiction. This can cause people to take illegal substances e.g. glue and meth. The pressure from peers it too much to bear as it is stressful and can change your life forever.
The Pressure of Everything
The things that annoy me is the fact that that there is pressure in everything we do, if it’s to do well in school or hang out with friends. I think that it’s crap that we have to get the greatest grades when none of us know what we want to do when were older and the pressure is to high to do so by our teacher of parents, or if it the pressure of taking a drag of a fag at a crap house party that your friends wanted you to go to. This is all pressure in a bad way.
I heard what everyone had to say.
I felt what everyone else feels.
I tried to keep independent thoughts against the crowd but was silenced.
I wear make-up everyday as I know I can’t compare.
I pretend I don’t care about results when really I work hard to make my parents proud.
On a night out to maintain a trend I act so stupidly.
My best friend when I need her is never there.
She’s caused me pain.
She causes more pain than she’s worth, keeping her distance.
She fits in so easily and doesn’t understand why I don’t.
The pressure surrounding me is pressure of being rejected of always being the unnecessary third wheel.
When were alone it is great but anyone else and I’m alone.
I’m buried alive, no one can hear me and the world has moved on.
The world has forgotten, she has forgotten.
This is my rant to the world.
Pretending to be smart one day and a damaged son the next is hard when decision making is like walking a tightrope of insecurity.
I saw him playing so did I
I saw him dancing so did I.
But when I saw him having fun I couldn’t join in cause without ability to vomit out a pun in time made me boring.
I AM a thief, I get people and steal everything they making it me.
Problem is that I can’t steal their brilliance
No one hates me ’cause I hate no one
I like no one ’cause I don’t know WHO TO LIKE.
My inspiration is what that guy said cause its not normal to say its your best friend.
Genetically cloning isn’t possible yet but if we had children I’m guessing it would just be him.
Keep saying and thinking I wish, I wish I could be I wish I would be but I never AM
My empty room stays quite still with the most beautiful things at every corner
You’re great, You’re privileged with such information
Sorry I didn’t get the memo I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SOLID STATE HARD DRIVE
For the sake of it lets pretend my tightrope was a noose, nah too boring. How about a strand of hair. More like it
Who’s your inspiration, Oh well its Geddy, George, Bono, Einstein AND Why? Cause they are them without cause.
Lets watch Lord of the Rings nerds do that don’t they, wait who am I being today, Oh yea its a LIABILITY today isn’t you pitiful piece of crap, STAND UP, cmon do it! YE you’re broken.
The only reason that stuff is down to your shoulders is so you can be mentioned by them.
Enda smells bad and is unhygienic only when people aren’t looking. Hygiene is for them cause they don’t like it when you are to like yourself.
I suppose the guideline is that its far easier to steal everyone else personality then make your own.
When they say be yourself just do whatever you feel you could do so amazingly that you could do it while sitting in bed after not having sleep for so long that to science you are clinically insane. If that means its masturbating or if its playing bass then do it.
Am I good enough?
Wake up every morning and look in the mirror
What do I see?
A pain forsaken face staring right back at me. `
Why am I still here?
I don’t belong in this world anymore.
Why doesn’t ‘it’ like me?
Am I not good enough?
What is wrong with me?
People don’t understand my pain.
All they see is a slite smile on my face.
They don’t understand it’s a mask.
I am not as strong as people think.
I get anxiety attacks.
I have attempted self-harm.
Because I ask myself this simple question,
Am I good enough?
Chiara Rijks Weidner
“I’m grand,” I say-
An empty smile,
Stretching across the face
Of a broken boy.
The shell of a shattered childhood,
Stained black and blue
By bruises that still sting.
But it could be worse,
“I’m grand,” I say.
Feel your lungs start to shake,
As your head starts to spin,
You’re life starts to bake.
As you take another hit,
The joint with its embers,
I’m all confused,
But now i remember.
It messes with my head,
And it’s all just a lie,
I’m trying to get her in my bed,
But my vision starts to multiply.
A Different Kind
Pain of a different kind.
A sharp pain
Tiny needles pierce the skin,
Tear it away.
Yet tearing away the pain only causes more,
A temporary release which only causes more pain.
To have to live with it forever there is no release.
A blinding pain that causes rage and sadness.
Reduced to tears curling in a corner.
It’s not a pain you can hide,
It’s seen by everyone, and it can’t be hidden.
Life covered by scales
Seen as a monster
Living in a skin two sizes too small,
Reduced to a shell bleeding through self-inflicted wounds.
On show for the world.
A pain that cannot be shared.
Cannot be taken away only controlled,
Through strict medication and routine.
Trapped within the infernal cycle pain tear infection repeat.
All things considered I don’t want it.
Ending it would be preferable but for all that would be left behind.
Inflicting that pain onto people is something beyond me.
Multiples of what I feel.
I couldn’t do that.
To the people who need the connection
To the people searching for the point of contact
To the watchers on the wall
To the ones yearning for someone to love
Wishing for something different at home
Wishing to end the sorrow
Its that same sorrow greets them every morning
Waiting for it all to end.
Lethal liquor engulfs my throat
Don’t be a fool
Wait for the buzz
Saying things you didn’t have the confidence to say
“I believe in world peace”
“Isn’t it weird that….”
Drifting back to reality