My Brain, my mind, my greatest enemy,
A mine field where each mine is perfectly the size of your foot
But you always step on three,
A landslide that takes the mountain onto your back
But you carry on because you must,
Like a heatwave a blizzard a hurricane and drought all at the same time,
A thick black fog smothering an explosion of creativity,
Life, love, happiness and randomness,
A bolder of illness and horrible thoughts and experiences
That only ever come out when you don’t want them or need them the worst times,
No laughter or joy or fun allowed,
A mess of think this and want that but never getting any of it,
An idea going both forwards and backwards filled with hatred and love
And everything in between but it all contracts itself,
A cattle prod poking yourself for no reason when you know you shouldn’t,
My biggest bully and judge in one big ball of demons hatred and all that follows,
This is how I see my mind but I know compared to others it’s a cake-walk
A fly in a burning house,
But that doesn’t make it any different for me,
It’s my challenge, my battle, everyone has their own.
I am a girl who is forced to conform to societies ideals,
Perfect hair, perfect teeth, perfect body,
Surrounded by all these unrealistic views,
We force ourselves to aspire to be perfect.
In this process we forget ourselves,
We forget that we are good enough,
We need to learn that it’s okay not to be perfect,
It’s okay to accept yourself.
Start with School
What do they want from us?
We dress up everyday
Walk to this prison
Where we write endless miles of meaningless tripe.
We suppress who we are
Force ourselves to be the same.
Within four years we have to make a decision
That will dictate our lives
When just four years ago we still believed in an overweight man
That went around the world delivering gifts for young kids.
What do they want?
Are we meant to grow up dreading waking up in the morning?
To force yourself through twisted torture for eight hours
Only to go home to prepare yourself to do the same the next day.
Why can’t we enjoy herself, why is it a sin to be happy.
Why is it that everything fun in life is against the rules?
We have to follow a guideline that hasn’t been working for the last 60 years.
No one ever asks how you’re doing, no one asks what you want to do.
They ask you ‘what you’re doing?’, ‘what you have to do?’
‘Why you’re not doing what you’re supposed to be doing?
I have said what thousands of people have said before
But there is still no change.
No those people are just kids,
They blame their problems on other people cause they’re too young.
Screw that, we are people and we spend the first twenty years of our lives learning
How you don’t matter and that you are just another cog
In the messed up machine called society.
People ask where all the world’s problems come from,
Where all the killers, the criminals, the drug dealers and dictators come from.
You wanna find the root of the problem like some glorified math equation??
Start with school.
Start with a system that hasn’t changed even after all the flaws it shows.
Start with place were all happiness is void. Start. With .school.
I know we need some dedication
But there is something wrong with this education
Teachers expect us to be the best and treat us like robots
But they never give us a chance to explain our thoughts
They wonder why all of the students think their class is boring
Because they never give us a chance to speak and they are always ignoring
Most teachers never doing us good deed
They care about the money but that’s not what the children need
Parents want us to be what they wanted to be
They never let us to what we want and to be free
That’s what we do get the results we want, you see
If every child had to choose a subject they loved
Poverty or poorness wouldn’t be heard of
Schools don’t give children a chance to pick subjects they would like to maintain
But instead, they give us a bunch of subjects and expect us to cram it into our brain
So you should just know that we children also have thoughts
So give us a chance to speak out and don’t treat us like robots.
I stand there looking out the window thinking,
Thinking of what could be. Thinking why, why do they do this? Why do people put us down?
Teachers, parents, and students drowning us in test, work, insults, words.
Nightmares that haunt me in the day, dreading the walk through those gate.
Thinking what would happen if one day it all stopped.
All the nagging, fighting, insults, and bulling stopped.
Where students were kind to each other.
Teachers talked to us like were human not dogs in kennels.
Parents stopped nagging us about education and grades
And start telling us that a grade in just a grade,
Wouldn’t that be a world to live in?
I miss cities that I have never visited
The books I have never read
The hearts I have never broken
The tears I have never shed
I crave for the love I never got
For the thoughts I’ve never had
For the smiles I’ve never showed
The person I never was
Ava Coburn and Eva Turley
You were taking me home from my first rugby game
I think I was twelve, it was pretty plain
To see you were so proud of your son
The aspirations he held and all he had done
You said you were proud of the man I’d become
You took me back home to mom, we had so much fun
You said you loved me, you said I was free
That life was good, could’ve fooled me
It’s actually funny that you think you’re this
Role model for any child, to follow
Cause you’re not
You don’t see how much of a
Self-riotous idiot, arrogant wife beating dick
Who thinks all his slags are just taking the mick
When you’ve got a kid, I’ll say it again, you’ve got a kid!
Seven years old waiting at home
Sitting alone wondering why
Daddy hasn’t come home
Biting his arm like it’s going to help
To understand that you’re not coming back
It’s making me sick
How an eleven year old locks himself in a room thinking it’s him and not you
That let the family down
While you waltz around stand on people you’re meant to care about
Cause you left a fourteen year old alone,
No dad to tell him that he’s not some un-unique stone
Can’t control hormones he’s broken to the bone
And you could still say that at any day of any week of any year that you care
That you’re still our dad
Not just calling once in a while to say that life isn’t fair get over yourself
Chasing women with exotic accents and a pair of tits
While the women you said you loved is getting worked up and pissed
That you cancel your visit and say that you wish that you could fit
Us around how busy your schedule is
And all the while your sons don’t even know that
Or believe that you love them
Well guess what, WE CARE.
The boy writing this cleans up your mistakes takes the blame
And the hate and anger and while
His brother’s scream slurs and violent threats he believes that it can still get better
Just not when you’re around
Chase your dreams,
Not your parents’ dreams,
Cause you’ll waste your life staring at computer screens,
I’d rather have a fun life and crap pay than glaring at a machine all day,
You only live once
So do what you love
Whether it’s wearing a suit or a boxing glove
You are Strong
I don’t want to feel this way
But I do
I am getting help
But is it working?
No, everything is up in the air for me
And I can’t get it down,
Sometimes I can barely touch it
But when I do,
I feel maybe things are changing
Confusion is just getting the better of me.
I know I’ll be okay,
I can get through this,
I’ve always gotten through stuff.
It’s like being in a tunnel,
Keep walking with people who can help beside you
And you will see the light at the end of the tunnel
You will walk out being able to say,
I travelled the journey with help and I made it.
No matter how lonely you may feel,
There is ALWAYS help,
Just make sure you never give up,
That you keep fighting because you are strong.
This is Where it all Began
We spend our nights
Watching the stars appear during domestic fights
Where all the maddest fun happens
Watching the girls all be pure snappin
We dance and leap and hop around
While having fun we all fall down
We sing we scream we laugh out loud
And watch the moon from behind the cloud
I like how nobody talks about depression
As someone has a battle of aggression
As they go to a professional,
Talk about their obsession
Suicide will be their succession
As they make their confession
The boy is crying
Therapist says ‘why you lying?’
While people all are dying
His emotions are frying
His thoughts are horrifying
His parents always sighing
His real problems are underlying
This puzzles in his head are simplifying
The motive they are identifying
Why he did the crime
He’ll do time
His complexion like silver lime
Cut across the dotted line
Shine then Fade
We spend our days and endless nights
Watching boys in pointless fights
The fun the friendship all began
Sitting around and drinking cans
We come to dance, to fight, to hide
OMG I could have died
In this hall of mirrors our memories are made
We live we dance we shine then fade
He’s a Boy
He blames himself,
He’s done nothing wrong and he blames himself.
He has been brought up to be perfect not himself.
He believes his choices are wrong because they weren’t someone else’s.
He trusts them and they lead him on with fake hope and praise,
Just so that he does as they say and if he doesn’t
He gets blamed for something they did.
He’s a boy and boys don’t talk about feelings
So he keeps it in. No one knows
And he doesn’t plan on telling anyone
One days it slips out.
He’s worked himself up,
Not on purpose but he’s upset and over thinking and something
Now that it’s out he’s scared he’ll be judged
Scared because boys don’t cry
He starts to panic. He can’t breathe
Someone reaches out someone calms him down
They don’t ask for everything just
Minor details he could spare without telling the whole story.
Not a lot but enough that he isn’t panicking and he’s able to think straight
No details are told nothing leave the phone call.
He starts to reach out to that someone more often
He asks for their help when things get too much
He’s learning that just because he’s a boy doesn’t mean he doesn’t have emotions
It doesn’t mean he can’t cry
It makes him stronger to let them out because all that baggage gets heavy
It weighs you down and keeps you behind
If it’s released slowly and to the right people it becomes lighter and easier to manage
Just because he’s a boy does not mean he can’t cry or talk about his feelings
If he feels if he cries he is stronger than any man who doesn’t.
Fiction isn’t real
That’s what I’ve been told
It’s just a character
Get over it
It just a book
It’s just fiction
But it wasn’t nothing
Because when these people put me down
Where the ones who picked me up
Who made me laugh and comforted me
I knew that Stiles could make me laugh
That I could be inspired and get productive
By the powerful words of Hamilton
Dear Evan Hanson could be a roller coaster of emotion
Pretty Little Liars could really make me think outside the box
Anime could fire me up with energy but at the same time break me down into tears
I could relate and feel a part of something with the Maze Runner
All the times I got told it was just fiction
It’s not real
That I’m getting over emotional over nothing.
But it wasn’t nothing
Not for me
Let her Go
When I set my eyes on her I felt a loving feeling in my body.
I finally built up the courage to talk to her and I had the confidence to move in.
Time went on and we were finally dating
And it was the happiest I’ve ever been
And then all of a sudden it went downhill.
She broke my heart.
I didn’t recover for a very long time.
I still love her to this day but I can never go back to her
Because I can potentially get my heart broken again,
So I have to let her go on and find new love.
I don’t like to write about my thoughts,
I prefer to keep them to myself,
Keep them in my head like old books,
On an old book shelf.
I tell who I want, what I want,
I don’t tell the whole world.
My thoughts are for me,
If I leave them to rot,
So be it.
In Dublin’s Fair City
The boys from Dublin there mad and bad
But truly there not on the inside
But at the end of the day there just a lad
So just look on the bright side
The girls from Dublin there all pretty and snazzy
But there just a fraud at the end of the day
But at the end of the day they can be a bit jazzy
And don’t be scared of what they say.
The parents think there all strict and bossy
But there just think there the boss
They show up glossy just to fit in
But they should get in the bin.
The children on the streets think its fun and games
But there just having a bit of fun
They like to call names
But there always on the run.
The buskers on the street think there the best in town
There just not the best in show business at this stage of time
But when people come to see them they don’t won’t to frown
And when they produce there music they don’t want to be in a crime
He sits alone for hours on end
For the next message to come through
He’s begun to believe that the things they say
They sit in front of their screens,
Captured by their own grief,
And making others feel the same pain
In a bid to heal themselves
It’s a vicious circle.
Use and Abuse
You use and abuse telling your lies,
The excuses you make hold no meaning,
I just can’t help but get the feeling that it’s me not you.
Most would say that’s true.
They can think what they like
Keep it to yourself or take a hike.
What’s the problem?
Is it that I’m a bit quiet or a small bit distractible?
Hey look at that weird ass tree!
Anyway, all I want to do is be free
And full of cheer and have a six pack (of beer).
Eden Curran O’Brien
He woke up one morning forced to get up
7 am, School is on the look
Get out of the bed you fool,
Said his parents who are quite cruel.
A smack left and right, engaged him to want to fight.
A smack in the eye, made him barely loose his sight.
He got out of the bed, with a bruise on his head
He gets no break feast, just straight to school,
Cuts on his face, tired as a fool.
Teachers on his case as he strolls in late.
Tired, tired, tired, as of late.
Kept up till bright by his parents, all through the night
As all they seem to do is spread all of their hate.
His parents have no belief, all they give him is grief.
For I have no memories, those including treasuries.
Bell rings gone before you know
Onto the next 40 minutes
Sitting waiting for the bell to ring again
Watching the clock
Pretending to listen
My name is called
I just pretend I don’t know the answer
Time goes on it feels like forever
The bell rings onto the next class
The days over can’t wait to come back tomorrow
People go and take freedom,
They want to go mislead em’,
People taking it they just be dumb,
Cos young people have none,
It’s all gone before you need em’,
People who offer help he don’t need them,
By the time he’s 16 already lost his hopes and dreams,
9 to 5 what a time to be alive,
Doing the same thing till he is 65,
He was almost living but he was not quite alive.
Hardest to Write
Sometimes the shortest poems are the hardest to write,
Change one word and the whole poem avocados.
He was bored so he shaved his head
At the table beside his bed
Now he looks like an egg
And has less hair on his head than his leg
He used to get angry and be bad
But today his found his real dad
Now he finally feels good and
Can stop acting like he’s from the hood