No Way to Deal With the Past
Growing up with memories, both good and bad,
Whichever one they are, making me sad.
Thinking “What happened to that kid?”
Who’s morals were black and white.
Now they’re grey like mist during a flight.
Trying to be normal, hid behind a mask.
While I escape the venus fly trap called
“The past”. I betrayed friends, hurt people.
Now living in lonely hell, lying that everything
I try to build a future, brick by brick.
But it all comes tumbling down like a bundle of sticks.
I look forward, find a narrative. All I see is anger, cuddled with
Loneliness. Becoming a dumb drunk like Elliot Ness.
Everyone is marching ahead, having fun at parties.
While I’m overdosing on smarties.
Fixing their problems with lines of blow.
I try to catch up with everyone, but I’m too slow.
They’re all dancing, doing the tango. While I’m there,
Standing out like a gringo.
My future is being a fat bald dude. Whose whole life
Was crude. I’m told I’ll find a way, my personal road.
But more than likely, I’ll be squished like a toad.
The easy way out will never come, probably because
I’ll never find it, I’m too dumb.
I’ve got a friend, who’s barely latching on.
Before I know it, he’ll probably be gone.
To some place like Galveston.
He wanted to help me,
But I squashed his attempts like a bumblebee.
That’s why I can never get to close
Because, at best. It’ll end with an overdose.
I’ve told lies, stole from best buys.
Now I protect myself with pathetic cries.
For help, redemption, any little flame.
That’ll take away the blame.
I attempt things, for redemption?
Not really, pathetic desperation.
Microsoft Word is my only chance to talk.
But people cover their eyes and ears,
Like it’s just a squawk. I try to remove the
Pain. But it’ll stay there forever, like an
My world is covered in shadow.
I’m trapped in a never-ending meadow.
Trying to climb, how could I even do that?
I don’t even own a dime.
My life is like dealing with an ex-wife.
Memories and hopes for happiness,
but all gone in a New York Minute.
All I can see outside is a downpour,
like I’m living in some sort of Film-Noir.
Chasing other people’s crimes,
but nobody listens. I’m in a group of mimes.
Like a private detective, with no perspective.
The good and the just like pixie dust.
Falling like snow, ignored by any old Joe.
People there are there judging you,
Saying that you’re not as cool,
Sitting there when you’re at school,
Thinking that your life’s a drool
Being told that you’re not good enough,
Just because you get it rough,
Thinking now what can you do?,
When everyone is mean to you
What you think is your life is screwed,
Cause in these days teens are just nude and rude,
And you just don’t get it,
When everyone’s out getting their bit and getting lit,
When you’re sitting there in the dark,
Waiting for someone to pull you into the light,
But no one ever does,
You stay there just waiting and waiting,
Just trying to find someone to start dating,
But nothing goes your way,
When you just live your life day to day,
Trying to catch a break,
But every girl you talk to just makes your heart ache and ache,
Just trying to fix yourself,
Trying to get back off the shelf but you never do,
Cause no one wants to hear your view,
So just stay there,
Cause no one wants you down here,
So stay there.
Waking up and I feel vacant
It’s lost its fun
This bed and that desk
Everything has become a mess
But it’s my mess not they’re mess
I don’t want to share my mess
Give me my mess back
I’ll fix it when I want.
Devils thinking about giving them drugs,
Mothers not even considering hugs.
Students get grief for not paying attention,
But schools think detention will help the “demented”.
An area of nothing will lead to failure,
mainly due to the pure architecture.
Treating them differently will not help them change,
to society, this will make them more strange.
These are the results of rundown areas.
I hate these fake f**ks
Pretending like they couldn’t care less
About what’s going on around them
Like they haven’t got any problems of their own
As if they don’t know what it truly feels like
To be truly and uncompromisingly alone
The truth is they feel just as harshly as that kid in the corner
About the frailties of their friendships
And how they constantly want to avoid slagging solo
Because if they ever get sad they can’t say nothing to their mates
God forbid they try and reconcile with their own feelings of feeling desolate
With no one to help and no one to talk to and no one to feel with
An unapologetic exploration into the abyss.
Life today is full of Drugs
And you must not forget about thugs.
You hear people talk about Pre-drink,
This is basically an excuse to binge drink.
You come to school to endure Pressure,
This for me is too much to measure.
The majority of us wish we had a life,
Like a man such as Johan Cruyff.
We just want things to be plain and simple,
But School, Family and Friends want us to be nimble.
The Social Class
From all the rich pricks,
To rundown, poverty stricken kids,
From high-class sports players,
To “nerds” on the Mathletics team,
We’re all the same, yet we’re not.
Classrooms split into social groups,
Struggling to find common ground,
“You’re too this,” “you’re not that”,
You’re never going to be good enough for other,
So be good enough for yourself.
Don’t listen to the snobs,
The “popular” kids.
As far as you’re concerned you are the best,
And no “popular” wanker can decide what you’re good at, what you can or can’t do.
Because you are you.
In the battered streets
a young boy gets beat
because he’s different
doesn’t drink on the street,
he doesn’t sit on the corner
can’t think on his feet
in regatta and Helly Hansen
with a can of bud in one hand
and a smoke in the other
he goes home bruised
to his tramp of a mother,
she looks at his wounds
and gives him a clatter
saying “what’s wrong with you boy,
what’s the matter?”
screaming in his face
about why he didn’t fight back,
this is the boy that dreams
get oppressed and turns to crack.
Driving down the M50 100 kph
Drifts into the side of the truck
Honks the horn, “Watch it mate!”
Startled, he swerves to the right
Smashes into the barrier
And he’s out like a light
Turns out he spent too long
With his friends in the bar
Thought it was a smart idea
To go back in the car
The representative said
“He will be truly missed”
But the government don’t really give two wags
If you drive when you’re pissed.
So Just Be
So Be small
Or Be Big
So Be Scared
Or Be Brave
So Be Feared
Or Be Loved
So Be Weak
Or Be Strong
So Just Be
I want to be an actor but I never factor,
How to quite do it or how I might screw it,
Too much caring about what others think, realize now that I’m on the brink,
About to overthink all of this shit but now I know that I can never quit,
Cause then I’ll be miserable, life will then be abysmal,
I’ll lose my mind, fall off the grind, slump into some kind of depression,
Go to confession, ask the lord why I feel like a floor board getting walked on,
Feeling gone, off the edge, but I pledge this will never happen,
As long as I’m alive, I will strive and I will thrive.
I sat there I studied I looked I the book
Wrote down then looked at the ground
And said studying for the JC is just not me
The stress it feels the rest don’t get it
So when it comes to school I forget it
When it comes to school I feel like a fool
Sometimes I go home I feel alone
But then I realise that I have friends
Who help me and mend me and I realise
The loneliness was just pretend.
Family or friends, you have to choose
You get called gay or stupid depending on what you decide to do.
You win and you lose no matter what.
You want to be mature, you want to look cool.
But you don’t want to be just another tool.
Decisions you make aren’t yours to make
Everything is based on inputs you take.
Does that make me weak or unoriginal?
I don’t know anymore. I’ll just keep going and figure it out as I go.
Everybody drinking, Everybody smoking
Do they not know it will harm them
smoking at a young age
My Grandad start smoking when he was young
And suffered his whole elderly life
Could not do the things he loved like playing golf or go fishing
Because he needed oxygen every second of his life
So if you are thinking about starting to smoke young
Trust me it’s not worth it
If you were to ask him whether it was worth all the pain
He would tell you your stupid to touch a cigarette.
15-year-old kid to managing 6 people.
A Game Developer with a dream.
Set out on a quest so large that no one believed in him,
the belief and passion is all that was driving him.
Sometimes he wondered if he should just go and be a “normal” kid.
Play football and go out on the weekends.
But why, that sounds so boring and “normal”
He wanted to go about change and not live a “normal” life.
All About School
Sick of waking up to go to a place they hate
To go in and consume a lot of unneeded information
Working us until our brains can’t consume any more
Getting more bored and bored
Sick of working for 7 and a half hours of work
With only a short 40-minute break not even a 7th of what they have with us
Having to go home and have another hour and a half of homework
Plus they pile study on for exam years
It just to much work to comprehend
They don’t give us enough time to play sports have a social life, get enough sleep and do all the school work
ITS JUST UNFAIR.