So the time has come
It’s the end xof the fun
It was a good year
But now we’ve the future to fear.
TY has helped us mature
And become ourselves I’m sure
Going out , making friends
We only lived for the weekend’s.
Pick your subjects they’re telling us,
Like honestly what’s the fuss?
How are we supposed to know ,
What in the future we will forego?
So TY you’ve been pretty sweet,
I wish I could press a button to repeat,
Time for fifth year to come around,
When we walk back into this battleground.
We Need Change
They said do not worry
As I got ready in a scurry
Back to school I go
I enjoyed it long ago.
But now it all has changed
Everything is rearranged
Teachers giving out
As I wonder what they are on about
Study every night
I wish I could set my books alight.
They say “The Leaving Cert. is near”
Why do they try to fill us with fear?
Fighting with friends
I wish we could all make amends
Homework to do
I wish the teachers knew
How hard it can be
Just to be me
They never will understand
Our lives are becoming so bland
We need to make a change
A new life must be rearranged
Time goes fast
Another day is passed
She lies in bed
A lot going through her head.
Her mother screams and shouts
To try and help her out
All she gets is one blank look
As her daughter hides herself in a book.
She fakes a smile with friends
While inside she dies
In the hole she sinks deeper
With no way out in sight.
On that day she loses it
And thinks about her own death
And how nice it would be
To end her life once and for all.
So she takes that razor
In her left hand
And strikes her right arm
Again and again
Afterwards she cries
And finally understands
The only one who can help her out of that hole
Mental health is an issue
That young people deal with too
We care about the physical
So why avoid the mental?
May I Go to the Bathroom
My hand shakes as I raise it and say “Teacher, may I please go to the bathroom”
She knows. They all know. My name has spread like an epidemic across the school – “That girl’s troubled”, “I think she’s faking it” “Give her time and she’ll get over it.”
I’ll get over it.
“Teacher may I please go to the bathroom”
Because my hands are shaking and my head is aching and my heart is breaking because I feel so alone. Because there’s a buzzing in my ears and I can’t feel my face and my head is filled with wasps stinging the inside of my skull. I can’t concentrate so Teacher may I please go to the bathroom.
Because I can feel stares of my classmates on my back as they start to notice my body convulsing in panic. Because they can hear the shakiness of my voice. Because I am so obsessed with what people think so teacher may I please go to the bathroom.
Because the razor-sharp nail of my thumb is digging into the tender skin of my hand between my thumb and my forefinger and I am subconsciously trying to ground myself with the pain but it’s not working and my vision is clouding and the buzzing is getting louder and I am shaking like a broken washing machine and I need to get out so teacher may I please go to the bathroom.
And now you can tell why I’m asking. You can see my trembling knees and you can hear the cracks in my voice and you’ve heard this from the others that I get like this often. And you think that I’m putting it on to get out of your class.
So you tell me I can’t go to the bathroom. Because I’ll get over it, or because I’m putting it on, or because it can’t be that bad.
No it can’t be that bad that I want to leave this classroom full of friends because they now feel like enemies and it can’t be that bad that the only thing that can ground me is the feeling of the cold bathroom tiles against my neck and it can’t be that bad because this panic won’t leave me until it’s drained all of my energy until I just want to collapse on the floor and sleep for the rest of the day.
And this exhaustion will stay, and this anxiety will stay and the red marks on my hands will stay and I’ll try to cover them up but it won’t work because you can’t cover up mental illnesses.
And I’m telling you this because I won’t rest until this school does not recognise anxiety as an illness. Because we are not taken seriously if we’re not diagnosed even though anxiety is a symptom and you can’t possibly diagnose a system I don’t get asked for proof that I have a headache so why should this be any different.
We’re not troubled or disturbed we are sick.
And you are only feeding the fire.
So teacher may I please go to the bathroom.
School is Stressful
School is stressful
The constant worry
The need to be successful
To go out and make money.
Subjects you don’t understand
Maybe maths isn’t your thing
But cry yourself to sleep
Cause you can’t remember a thing.
PRESSURE PRESSURE PRESSURE
Being compared to others
But STUDY STUDY STUDY
To do as well as your brothers.
Thoughts run through your mind
What if I fail math
I won’t have my chance
To choose my own path.
Don’t stress yourself out
Exams don’t define you
Just because it’s hard now
You won’t always feel blue.
Try your best now
It’s the best you can do
Everything will be fine.
And believe in you.
How I Feel
When sitting alone in the middle of the night
Crying to myself
Being told it’s alright
That it will change soon enough
You can pull through
You’re strong enough
But when looking in the mirror
All I see is worthless, useless
A stupid little girl
There’s a reason she’s alone
There’s a reason she’s like this
Honestly, look at her would you want to be around this?
But you don’t get how it hurts
Standing at the edge of the group
Doing nothing, saying nothing
Simply a mute
You think words are the only things that can hurt
Sometimes not using them can be even worse.
Looking at me you might not guess it
With a smile plastered on
And laughing in all the right places
But you don’t see how two hours before
I was crying in a corner
Saying “I can’t do this anymore”
How every 2 weeks I have to sit
And talk about my feelings
Fake a smile and say
“Yeah, I’m feeling a whole lot better.”
Worst of all
As soon as I get home
I know how I’m all alone
The only way for it to stop
Is to end it’ll all in one quick sweep
You don’t see or know my pain and you never will
We all see the same
Someone who is coping so well.
I’m a nerd
A music lover
Someone who can sit down and read a book or watch a movies for hours
A quiet girl
A shy girl
But you’ll never know
You’ll never take the time
To look at me, see me
At least get to know me
You may not know my hurt, not know my pain
But it’s there just the same
And you may not know this or even see it
But I am a person just the same.
Now You’re Just Somebody That I Used to Know
Young adults constantly going
Never stops, everyday is rowing
After training muscles ache
Never a lie in, always awake
So much pressure, so little leisure
You keep trying but at an end of a race you’re always crying
You pull good scores yet you’re told you need more power on the oars
The nerves at night eating you alive
Fire in your belly, got that inner drive
And yet no one seems to care when my hands blister
And the other day I found out he kissed her,
Thought we were more than friends but obviously not,
You said you liked me but thought she was hot
Now I have to see you six times a week
There was never a connection and I’m just a freak
Just remember I used to like you
Now there’s nothing, and she doesn’t want to be with you.
The dark insanity of my loneliness prevails
As my vitality betrays me
I fall deeper into the severity of my thoughts
Pondering on your sudden departure
As to why you left me.
Questioning the reasons why
Falling deeper now
Perpetual yearning for justification as to your desertion
Waves of regret wash over me
Drowning in my thoughts as to why you left me.
WHO are we?
Let me be a bee
WHY are we here?
Everyone’s just hiding fear
WHY does everyone judge?
We need to give them a nudge
CAN we be us?
And not make a fuss
They say schools the key?
I’d learn more from the banshee
WHY don’t they understand?
I’d rather be in Thailand
WHY do we ask questions?
The world makes me get indigestion
“MOM, what’s for dinner?”
Oh stop you’re a sinner.
You see I am a teen
In a generation of rebels
Trying to recreate a world
That has already been dishevelled.
And the leaders of this world
Don’t listen to what we say
They make decisions on our futures
We deserve a say.
I don’t want to uphold society’s standards
I don’t want to be the same
I don’t want to be a bystander
I don’t want to play their Game.
The ‘Best’ Years
The ‘Best’ Years
They would say,
When really full of tears,
At the end of each day.
All these responsibilities,
They say we are mature,
With all these vulnerabilities,
We are insecure.
They blame it on the internet
That we don’t socialise
Drink, drugs, sex, cigarettes
Destroying our lives.
The ‘Best’ Years
They would say,
However it appears,
We will make it out okay.
Doireann Feehan O’Dwyer & Jennie Geary
The World of Education
In the world of education, which is full of frustration
They expect so much more, yet I’m only in foundation
Teachers, they’re preachers, unfairly treat us like creatures
The constant pressure, to come together, with our professors hell for leather.
They care about us, well so they say, but in all honesty they just wait for pay-day
This hell hole full of two-faced judgy biatches, so fake
Are our daily reminders of regret and mistakes?
High reputation brought down by impregnation
Drink drug and sex is all a temptation.
Finally add teenage boys into the mix
They can’t think with their heads, they think with their dicks.
The struggle is real, not just for you but for all,
Hold your head, don’t let yourself fall.
Eloise Killing & Aoife Ryan
Too much pressure
Everyone’s scared what people will think
Applying their make-up at their dresser
On Wednesdays they wear pink
Popularity is all that matters
Listening to the pupils chatters
Whispers in the school hall
Fake likes on their Facebook wall
They go out to have fun
But end up being a liability
Now look at the state of what they’ve become
Another drunken example of teenage fragility.
Dara McEnery & Deirbhle McCarthy
It needed to end
I’ve known that for some time
Get my life on track
At a time I could result to wine
I’ve lost myself along the way
I think I know now, it’s gonna be fine.
I was honest with him
But he acted like a child
Not accepting his own flaws, and mistakes
And thinking his behaviour was mild.
‘I’m free at last,’ I quietly say
As I turn to him with a hint of a smile.
He thinks he’s above me
He thinks I’m small
When immaturity is all I see
When really, I’m the one who stands tall
He can pretend I was what he needed, but
He wanted me around? I do not recall.
I can finally breathe
I see the light
It’s finally day
A change from the night
All I saw was darkness
I now see the light.
They Don’t Get It
You go to school to learn
But does it really happen?
It’s a place to burn, no concern
The point of no return.
Told by parents “Do your best”
But do they understand?
That we are stressed
There are two sides
That’s what they don’t understand.
A school always divides
Between education and society.
Educations pushed aside
And then starts anxiety.
Little do they know
There’s much more to it than
Exams and classes.
Schools a bitch,
Why can’t we just ditch?
If only there were passes
We could leave, get away,
From the prison that we face everyday.
She sits at home waiting for your arrival,
As you sit in your car stewing in your regret,
Imagining what you did,
How you did it
How many times you did it,
And you can’t face her now.
This woman who you vowed to never betray
To stand by no matter what way
She decides to go
If she decides to go left
You go left
The rings on your hands are the symbol of your love
And they’re starting to tarnish
Your love starting to rot from the inside
And she doesn’t even know it.
And you’ll say you tried your best
But in the end
You drove away.
School will be over before we know it
Big exams coming. Better not blow it.
What am I good at?
What to do?
What path will I take?
How do I choose?
It’s all just a race, but a race to where?
I’m waiting to find out
Waiting to get there.
Hopefully soon it will all come together
The stress will be over
No more pressure.